What would you do if an alien space ship lands in your backyard?

What would you do if an alien space ship lands in your backyard?
What would be your reaction?

So far none has actually landed in my backyard or front yard, for that matter. But one almost lit on my 8 foot fence. My reaction was at first amazement than that was reduced to fear. I think it was that awful low humming sound that came from the object.

First off isn't their a law on the books somewhere.... Which states a regular citizen should NOT go any where near an Unidentified Flying Object which may have landed or crashed? I don't recall where I read that....Probably here at the ATS. I think it was from a firemans manuel...chapter 13 or something like that.

Anyways if a saucer did land on my property I believe the Airforce, Black Helicopters or White Government Vans would be on it......Like flies on chit. But let's say *they* happened to miss seeing it on radar. Like they did in 1995 with my major UFO sighting. I would want to ask questions like Gazrok and get answers. I would invite them in for tea, coffee or the beverage of their choice. (hopefully it's NOT blood! :lol Than maybe make *them* a sandwich if they eat? Hopefully, *they* will have an alien to english translater.
Before *they* leave I would ask if they could give me something for proof that 'We are NOT alone". Of course that probably wouldn't do me any good anyways, because our government would just deny the evidence.

I'd telepathically send them..."Can you hear me now? Good."

Actually, I was thinking of having a BBQ. You know, interstellar travel makes one mighty hungry. And, they should be used to beef with all of those cattle mutilations.

We could sit around and watch reruns of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and talk about God. Then, when they're good and loosened up, we could cut to the chase and start talking about publicity and marketing.

Come on folks, ain't going to happen.

If they did land, I think I would crap my pants. Then I could throw it at 'em.