Is it really Sexual Attraction?

I have noticed a phenomenon in my life that many (both male and female) attribute to sexual attraction, or at least that is generally the way that it is described to me.

I am not "drop dead gorgeous", I don't have a "phenomenal body" and I don't attempt to draw attention to myself by wearing provocative clothing, with the exception of not being afraid to show a little cleavage when I go out.

I am in a long term committed relationship, so it isn't like I am on "the hunt", so this phenomenon has perplexed me for a long time.

Many of those that know me often describe me as being highly spiritually evolved, and I have been described on more than one occasion as "more Christian than most Christians I know", but it isn't usually my spirituality that attracts these people to me. More often than not, the initial attraction seems to be perceived as a sexual one. This "sexual attraction" isn't limited to sexual orientation, as I have had straight, bisexual and homosexual men and women attracted to me, and sometimes those that are attracted are confused by it, especially the homosexual men, and the straight women. ( I am female ).

I am convinced, and most especially due to certain recent events, that this attraction is not really a sexual one, but a spiritual one and that the "attraction" is misinterpreted as sexual, because many have been taught through various religious upbringing this is what it is.

That being said, I am curious to know if there are others that have experienced this phenomenon.

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


I think the more spiritual a person is, the more sexual a person is. Spirituality does not endorse inhibitions, and that shows through in a persons natural sexuality.

Your partner is a lucky man.

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


I think you're 100% correct, OP. I can think of examples in my own life for who I have found attractive. My mind categorizes it into the simplest terms and that's generally physical attraction and appeal. Yet, I've been around drop dead gorgeous foxes and I've been around homely gals that were the sweetest people you'd ever want to meet. That attraction doesn't seem to have a pattern on that, the more I think about it. On any level. I hadn't actually stopped to think about it until this thread...but yes, I do believe you hit on something fundamental here.

I think you are onto something there. I am almost instantly attracted to spiritually evolved women. Also, I am much more so myself than I have ever been in my life, and suddenly women who ignored me before are recognizing something in me they like. I am happily married, but I must admit it is flattering.

Originally posted by Taupin Desciple


I think the more spiritual a person is, the more sexual a person is. Spirituality does not endorse inhibitions, and that shows through in a persons natural sexuality.

I tend to agree (albeit only partially) to that statement. I think there is more to it than just that.

Your partner is a lucky man.

He says he is!

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


It is interesting to me that you would call it "spiritual attraction". I have never really thought about it that way. I am a lot like you, I attract people, all genders. Most of my exes still say I was "the one". Friends used to pick at me and say "There's Something About Val" instead of "There's Something About Mary".

I had a friend (who is on ATS but I'm not sure if he/she would like to be named) run my astrological natal chart and he found correlations with the information that basically means, my planetary alignment (or whatever you want to call it) is full of ... well... sexual energy.

There is the variable also that if you are more evolved, open minded so to speak, you will attract a larger demographic of people because you are open to more. Despite that, I totally experience what you do. I have been told I am "dripping with seduction" by homosexual men. Hell I even had one try to date me but in the end he decided he was attracted to my MIND...

So that's where the interesting part about your wording "spiritual attraction" comes in. I could see how acceptance, awareness, open mindedness, love, light, and self confidence could attract anyone to you like a moth to a flame.

This "problem" of mine was very nice before I got married

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


I have the exact same "problem" myself, OP. I am FAR from what would be considered "attractive" (though my wife tries constantly to argue against me on that), yet it seems that every new person I meet, male or female, ends up being heavily attracted to me.

Heck, almost to a "fatal attraction" kind of situation a couple of times.

I do my best to not lead them on or give indication that I am interested in that way, but it just ends up happening.
Over the years, I have kind of chalked it up to the fact that I am very empathic and connect really easily to people, though my spiritual evolution seems to be along the same lines as yours.

It's odd, it's sometimes crazy, but I am glad I have a very understanding mate that is not threatened by any of it and gets a kick out of it all lol

I believe sexual attraction happens at a spiritual level.

Originally posted by Wrabbit2000
reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh

 

I think you're 100% correct, OP. I can think of examples in my own life for who I have found attractive. My mind categorizes it into the simplest terms and that's generally physical attraction and appeal. Yet, I've been around drop dead gorgeous foxes and I've been around homely gals that were the sweetest people you'd ever want to meet. That attraction doesn't seem to have a pattern on that, the more I think about it. On any level. I hadn't actually stopped to think about it until this thread...but yes, I do believe you hit on something fundamental here.

I agree with this too, actually. My husband and I were talking about old friends the other day that we hadn't seen in a while and I mentioned this girl named Sonia. Now, Sonia was a "very big girl" according to most of our friends and "weird". She flew her freak flag high, let's just say that. Yet... everyone was in love with her! I even wanted to be her!

When I mentioned the name Sonia my husband instantly said "Yes I remember her! She was sooooo hot, but not hot. She just exuded confidence and power".

There is definitely something to that.

Originally posted by tinker9917
I believe sexual attraction happens at a spiritual level.

I agree if you changed it to

"I believe spiritual attraction happens at an equal or greater spiritual level between two people"

Originally posted by Wrabbit2000
reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh

 

I think you're 100% correct, OP. I can think of examples in my own life for who I have found attractive. My mind categorizes it into the simplest terms and that's generally physical attraction and appeal. Yet, I've been around drop dead gorgeous foxes and I've been around homely gals that were the sweetest people you'd ever want to meet. That attraction doesn't seem to have a pattern on that, the more I think about it. On any level. I hadn't actually stopped to think about it until this thread...but yes, I do believe you hit on something fundamental here.

I think that because we live in a highly sexualized society (especially those of us that live in the US) that we often misconstrue attractions as being sexual because we are bombarded with information and visual sensation that is generally promoted as being sexual in nature.

I often wonder if it's done on purpose to keep us from evolving spiritually.

The (seemingly) major difference from the human condition from the animal kingdom is our "spirituality". This sexualization of society seems to be designed to keep our mindset within the biological, and away from the spiritual. It may also help to explain why some religious sects see sexuality as bad, and others as a mechanism through which we can achieve a higher form of enlightenment (think kamasutra).

Yes.

It is really sexual attraction.
Or rather, pheromones.

My husband has a friend who is like you. I feel bad for his wife. He oozes sexuality and no, he isn't particularly physically attractive. (For men and women alike.)

His wife has trouble keeping friends because of it and even ended up cheating on him, I personally believe, partly because of it. (Luckily for her, he is devoted to her and would never cheat, even forgave her eventually).

Anyways, just to add.. he is one of the least spiritual people you will ever meet. So don't give the spirituality thing too much credit. There is no correlation there.
Of coarse, people are attracted to people they want to be around, you could be an intense and wonderful person. And, you could have the magical hip to waist ratio to boot.

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh

I often wonder if it's done on purpose to keep us from evolving spiritually.

they gotta be hiding something behind that sexual wall. we are attracted to shiny things on all levels.

Possibilities in addition to your suggestion of spirituality

1. personality (a great equalizer)
2. pheromones
3. met in past lives

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


I have no idea, but what are you doing later?

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


I both agree and disagree with you. I think there is a type of 'attraction' that can make you feel drawn towards and fascinated by other people in a non-sexual way; an almost metaphysical or spiritual quality.

On the other hand, sexual attraction is very real and actually extremely complicated. We hide deep-seeded feelings and desires in the subconscious, many of which we are too afraid to acknowledge in our normal waking state. Sexual attraction is not just based on looks and body type, there are other factors that can contribute.

reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh


I not sure what you talking about. So if I stare at cleavage I become more spiritual is that the crux of your theory. ?

It's still 95% about you look I'm pretty sure. Most woman don't think they have a sexy body but they mostly wrong.
When a rather nice girl is for example in a cantine (with a nice behind), just look all those male eyes checking out her holy butt

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh

 

I both agree and disagree with you. I think there is a type of 'attraction' that can make you feel drawn towards and fascinated by other people in a non-sexual way; an almost metaphysical or spiritual quality.

On the other hand, sexual attraction is very real and actually extremely complicated. We hide deep-seeded feelings and desires in the subconscious, many of which we are too afraid to acknowledge in our normal waking state. Sexual attraction is not just based on looks and body type, there are other factors that can contribute.

What I am saying is that more often than not, people initially perceive this as a sexual attraction rather than a metaphysical one.
Of those that have braved the "weirdness" of the feeling and approached me have said that it "feels almost the same" as a sexual attraction, and/or slightly different. Some actually do perceive it as a metaphysical one, and I have experienced this just as much (if not more often than) the type that is perceived as a sexual attraction.

I am in no way put off, or confused by it in either case. I'm not confused by the feeling or sense. I am well aware of the difference between a physical/sexual attraction and a metaphysical one.What I was trying to bring to the forefront is that what some may feel as a sexual attraction (and most especially if it feels a little bit different than that) may not be a sexual attraction but a metaphysical one.

Originally posted by AthlonSavage
reply to post by ThreeSistersofLoveandLigh

 

I not sure what you talking about. So if I stare at cleavage I become more spiritual is that the crux of your theory. ?

Thanks for the chuckle, but no.

The crux of my theory is that due to what we are exposed to (religious upbringing, bombardment of "sexualized" media, etc) is that we often misinterpret a spiritual or metaphysical attraction as a sexual one.