where did marriage traditions come from

So I am getting married and my mom and fiance's mom said we can't see each other the night before the wedding. Why Not? Where did this tradition come from. I asked her If she was so traditional why do I have to pay for the wedding. Does anybody know where these traditions come from?
Here's a few more
1) Can't see the bride the night before
2) Brides family has to pay.
3)Bride has to wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. (whats up with that?)
Thats all I can think of. If you know of anymore let me know so I can be prepared. If you know an answer please post it.
Thanks in advance

You haven't mentioned "carrying the bride over the threshold".
Apparently that comes from the ancient Roman superstition that it counts as a bad omen if the bride trips as she walks through the door for the first time.
If the bride is carried through instead of walking, then she can't trip, and so there can't be a bad omen.
(However, it eventually became a "bad omen" if the groom tripped as he was carrying her, so you can't win)

reply to post by jlafleur02


There's sooooo many. Here's a few I could think of:

Bouquet carrying and then throwing to the unwed women.
The veil down and then lifted at alter.
Throwing confetti at the newly weds.
The "just married" adornment of carriage/car. (The tin cans behind the car. Classic!)


All of evolution seeks new and better information, and because of this, people have evolved to have pattern seeking, and solving, minds - that pattern seeking results in superstition.

You should Google around the answers abound around you. Information age and all.

Wedding Lore
That's one of the first hits I got.

Try these keyterms on top of your wedding terms:

Occult Ritual

Occult = Hidden
When you ask for the Hidden stuff it starts popping up.

Example Bouquet tossing it claims originated in England as it is today.
However upon further Googling it becomes clear that the practice of Ritual Gambling was highly commonplace in ancient times with love/relationships.

Check out the origins of Valentines Day.

See Lupercalia

Lupercalia was a very ancient, possibly pre-Roman[2] pastoral festival, observed on February 13 through 15 to avert evil spirits and purify the city, releasing health and fertility. Lupercalia subsumed Februa, an earlier-origin spring cleansing ritual held on the same date, which gives the month of February (Februarius) its name.

Note the word Fertility.

At the bottom if you continue reading you will see that there is debate surrounding the "modern customs" of Valentine's Day, because not all of them originate from Rome itself per se but multiple cultures.

In fact, the 14th of February was the day specially set aside for love lotteries in Pagan Rome. A holiday devoted to Juno, Queen of the Gods, and patroness of marriage, the 14th was also the day on which young girls' names were written on slips of paper and thrown into jars to be picked out by the boys. Chooser and chosen would then be partnered for the duration of the Lupercalia festival. Such arbitrary pairings often resulted in lasting relationships.

From Witchology

A very interesting piece about this from the author of that website.
I have read this info in many other places by the way, this was just the first one I came across that discussed the more hidden aspects.

Just remember every single part of our traditions has multiple levels of occult meaning and it will take time for you to dig into them, so be patient and enjoy.

Very interesting about Valentines day. I always thought it was named after saint valentine.
I will delve into the means and post anything interesting I find. The amount of traditions/superstitions associated with marriage is amazing.

Here's a link to the groom can't see the bride before the wedding
link

During the times when arranged marriages were the norm, the couple to be wed is never allowed to see each other. Marriages in the olden times are like business deals between two families. A father especially wants his daughter to be wed to a man from a rich land-owning family, which spells out prosperity and fortune. But if the groom meets the bride before the wedding and sees that she is not attractive, the groom could back out and cancel the wedding. This is something the family of the bride wants to avoid, especially if he wants to secure marrying into a wealthy family. This is also the case for family members who are giving a dowry.

I'm not getting a dowry just a beautiful bride.