Charge A Car Battery With A Chainsaw

Charge A Car Battery With A Chainsaw

So, you’re out in the woods getting a load of wood, 17 miles from nowhere, 23 miles from anywhere and 29 miles from the nearest store.

Today, you let your 12 year old boy drive the back road from where you exited the freeway.

It is a nice warm sunny day and you squint against the encroaching sunlight as your heart races in total fear while your son navigates the truck a bit on the unconventional side.

When you arrive at the wood cutting site, you are so busy high-fiving your son for the great job he did driving, as you ready yourself, gasping with relief, to exit the truck and unload your saw and needful things, that you did not notice your memory, which had already escaped you about the headlights being on, was gone, and you forgot.

Soon, both you and your son get to business.
Your son, cutting and splitting.
You, a phone call you cannot not answer.

After cutting and splitting a bounty of wood, you must ready the truck for loading, but unfortunately, since the headlights were left on, your worst fears are now realized.

YOUR BATTERY IS D-E-A-D, DEAD!!

In your mind, you realize that when you discretely turned the lights on as you pulled over to switch drivers, (for more safety…17 miles from nowhere….(face palm…) , you didn’t let your son see you because that, to hom, would seem like you were worried about his ability, taking wind out of his sail of pleasure; getting to navigate the truck through the unpaved mountain road, unrestricted; You, leaving behind an odor your son says mimics that old people medicine smell, that will linger on for eternity.

Now, you got some ‘splainin’ to do.
To your wife, to the extraction team dispatched to find your missing sorry ass, to your son for the great disturbing memory he will be left with after you fail again in catching any fish to eat while awaiting rescue, for the fire you can’t start because you don’t know how without your disposable lighter - which also died, as you lit a smoke with it’s last breath of flame back in town, while pumping gas.

Digesting this, you now realize you are lucky to be alive, if you can call your wandering upon this earth “life”.

Normally, it could take until well after dark before anyone might worry. Longer, whilst worry, the turtle of the turtle-hare race, builds up enough steam to warrant a search and rescue team dispatched to find you, sorry-ass and as described below, the most stupid father that ever lived, and your son, to bring you both in.

This senario’s ending, by most estimations, is about as lame as could ever be imagined and your son will most likely now know for a fact that you are the most stupid father that ever lived.

Or worse, your son might believe it was his fault not noticing the lights were left on, causing permanent emotional damage to his psyche through dead battery regret.

There are few options at this point since you also drained the battery on your cell phone talking to the wife, who decides that now, while you are out fetching wood, is the best time to question your love and devotion to her. Finally, the call ends as your battery expires.
(I guess we know who cut and split all that wood now as well, don’t we?)

At a time like this, there are three quotes to remember.
1) “It isn’t over ‘till the fat lady sings’”
2) “It’s never over ‘till it’s over.”
3) “Remember (insert your name here), you can always go back to a bobber and a worm!”
4)
Now, normally, the entire trip is by now a nightmare that you will never live down,
but not today!
Today, you are prepared for such an unwelcome reality.

You brought the most Important tools you can bring to the woods.
a) 2 cycle gas/oil mix
b) Chainsaw
c) Serpentine or “V”-belt removal tool(s)
d) Chainsaw tools
e) An old “V”-Belt you had lying around since the 80’s.

Now, take your tools and perform the following:
Remove the side cover of your chainsaw
Remove chain bar and chain.
Remove the E-clip, Keeper and drive sprocket.
After removing sprocket, replace keeper, then E-clip.
Remove your truck’s serpentine or “V”-Belt.
Take your stowed “V”-Belt and insert it on the chainsaw drive and to your trucks’ alternator.
While keeping the “V”-Belt snug and with pressure to the inside lip of alternator pulley, Start your chainsaw drive, and charge your dead battery in no time.
(Ensure proper rotation of alternator to charge battery.)

Instead, your son sees you as a superhero and all is well.


Charge A Car Battery With A Chainsaw

Originally posted by imd12c4funn
Today, you are prepared for such an unwelcome reality.

You have one of these in the boot....
www.walmart.com...

That's kinda neat. The only thing wrong is why would you carry that belt in the truck? I'd carry a spare serpentine belt. It wouldn't work. It would be easier to stick a big jump pack in the back of the seat. My jump and start 660 can start about ten or more vehicles before it gets dead.

I suppose you could also use a weed eater or a small outboard if you wanted too.

you let your 12 year old drive?
anyway, thats great if you leave your lights on, big mistake, then have a chainsaw lying around as most people hae...not.
i would get in touch with the breakdown people or try to shove it to jump start it if it was possible.
glad you got it going though but learn by your mistakes and hope you had a great day anyway.

Son, you know the saying "Shi Happens"? Well, it's true. You can never plan for everything, that would leave no time for living. Let's build a fire and sleep under the stars, hungry. It'll build character. And help you & me both to remember how to prepare next time we're leaving a main road to venture off somewhere in a vehicle. Although a battery problem isnt the same sort of issue as having a can of Fix-a-Flat, a blanket, emergency snacks, & jumper cables & a charged cell phone.

"Oh crap, son, tell me u got some matches in ur pocket." Add a flint striker & accesories to car BOB, along w/matches & lighters.

Its and interesting topic on what to do when your car breaks down and even more interesting the amount of people who are completely lost when the car doesn't start.

Other vital skills to know are

-How to jack up a car and replace a wheel
-How to unbog the car from mud, ie rocking the car and/or putting branches underneath the wheels.
-How to jump start a car with cables or a jump starter
-Starting a manual car by rolling it then letting then releasing the clutch.

I really like your "out of the box" thinking but who in their right mind would drive all that way into the woods to cut wood?

I could see it being a plausible scenario if they went to a cabin or camping in the woods and had a dead battery ......

reply to post by imd12c4funn


WHAT NO DUCT TAPE????

naw, not really, I will have to show that to the ex, he would probably be out of chainsaw gas at that point, but it is always good to know these types of things.

reply to post by scotsdavy1


In the country we start them WAYYYY earlier than that, but by 12 they are good to go. I have pictures of my 2 year olds on tractors, loaders and back hoes. (grandpa a professional in the seat w/ them on his lap)

Neat trick, but I have to agree with this...

It would be easier to stick a big jump pack in the back of the seat

reply to post by imd12c4funn
Great deal there. Just great idea.

My brother lived out in the ruff. He converted his old air conditioner into an air compressor if he happened to get a slow leak or had to plug a tire ect. He also kept two batteries under the hood. He also carried a spare ignition module.

But I have never heard of your chain saw deal. Great thinking on the feet there.

As far as your boy driving......you cant tell these metrosexuals that pamper their children about this. Young folk this old can drive and may need to save your life when you are that far out. You have to teach them to drive. I knew a guy that just happens to run a wood yard in the city here and his boy could run all the equipment at that operation by the time he was ten. Tractors, bobcat, ect ect you name it.

Pretty cool, although most people just carry a jumper pack. I can remember my dad making a welder using his truck alternator one time, don't know how he did it exactly, just remember how awesome it was.

reply to post by imd12c4funn


You drive a stick shift car.

You roll it down hill and allow it to self start or you jack the car up, put it in 3rd gear and crank one of the drive wheels just by hand.

Or carry a battery booster.

My preferred method is you listen for the beep beep beep that the car makes with the lights on and remember to turn them off, or install hardware to ensure it reminds you with a beep.

Finally they also sell low voltage cutout for car batteries that can be installed and prevent this problem altogether.

While this chainsaw story could have happened to someone, I don't think this is a plausible recipe to prevent a battery problem. And even if it did, what if the problem you run into is a different one like ignition, or the radiator? wouldn't a spare cellphone battery be a better alternative then?

-rrr

reply to post by rickyrrr


ONe of the best things about a stick shift.
You will never get stuck if your battery dies.

alternators will actually charge in either direction, the ddiodes know what to do.
(you may not be able to determine which direction the engine rotates, specialy if yer' batteries dead)

i have jump started my truck (it's got an automatic) by wiring up a fully charged battery from my rechargeable drill. 18volts will turn the motor but 12 volts doesn't.

reply to post by imd12c4funn


I think I find a couple of "holes" in your posting.

1) What hapened to the cell phone you used when you had to take this call? I see now, you talked for a couple of hours.

And worse:

2) an altenator is not the same as a generator. An altenator requires some current to be fed in from a battery in order to generate a current while it is turning. This would not allow you to generate current to restore the battery if it is dead. A generator has internal windings on it's armature which make a small current while turning and induce a larger current into the stator which charges the cars battery. An altenator reguires a small current to generate it's magnetic field.

It has been mentioned that a car with a straight shift transmission could be rolled or pushed the get it started. If the battery is dead same results as in number two. No current in, no current out.

Since the days when cars had generators replaced by altenators this has been the main drawback about having a dead battery. Actually wayback when automatic transmissions had "rear pumps" and generators you could push them to get started. The rear pump built up pressure inside the transmission and allowed it to turn the motor ; you just had to get moving at about 35 to 40 mph.

SNF for the great out of the box idea. To all the naysayers, come SHTF, it's this kind of thinking/prep that will separate the survivors form the zombie chow.

Daytime running lights anyone? My lights turn on and off when I turn my car on and off. I never have to worry about leaving them on or forgetting to turn them on.

It is a neat idea, and I understand the mechanics behind why it works. I'm with the other people here though, I have one of those jump starter packs that also has an air compressor. Where I live it can get so cold and snowy that having something like that can save your fingers/toes or even your life.

I've had to jump my old car a few times, not so far with the Subaru Forester. The combination of auto-start and engine block heater seem to work quite nicely!

reply to post by fnpmitchreturns


I take it you don't live in the woods?

Originally posted by blamethegreys
SNF for the great out of the box idea. To all the naysayers, come SHTF, it's this kind of thinking/prep that will separate the survivors form the zombie chow.

I'm not a naysayer, seeing as it sounds pretty MacGuyver to me. It's just a matter of the OP writing a novel when all he needed was this:

You brought the most Important tools you can bring to the woods. a) 2 cycle gas/oil mix b) Chainsaw c) Serpentine or “V”-belt removal tool(s) d) Chainsaw tools e) An old “V”-Belt you had lying around since the 80’s. Now, take your tools and perform the following: Remove the side cover of your chainsaw Remove chain bar and chain. Remove the E-clip, Keeper and drive sprocket. After removing sprocket, replace keeper, then E-clip. Remove your truck’s serpentine or “V”-Belt. Take your stowed “V”-Belt and insert it on the chainsaw drive and to your trucks’ alternator. While keeping the “V”-Belt snug and with pressure to the inside lip of alternator pulley, Start your chainsaw drive, and charge your dead battery in no time. (Ensure proper rotation of alternator to charge battery.)