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CARACAS, Venezuela – Edward Snowden, the leaker of NSA surveillance documents, was granted asylum in Venezuela on Friday. With safe harbors in sight, Snowden was willing to share shocking and world-shattering exclusive secret government documents with The Internet Chronicle.
Snowden’s testimony was as follows:
“The highest levels of government don’t know what to do about UFOs, and the official story that they are all merely weather balloons or natural phenomena have been clearly dismissed. If anything, these documents speak about UFOs as if they are surely guided by an intelligence beyond our own. As it turns out, the most credible and inexplicable sightings are of vehicles that have been spotted leaving the sea floor at hydrothermal vents and directly entering solar orbit . . .
www.chronicle.su...
Hourly Breaking news updates
Snowden Gone Wild!
Snowden unveils NSA Satellite SAURON Program targeting Citizens
Supermarkets collect metadata with discount cards, says Snowden
North Korea grants asylum for Snowden
At the Chronicle.SU, we take truth seriously. We take what we do so seriusly, untruths at chronicle.su are punishable by mutilation or death.
Sadly, chronicle.su is not of this earth. After crash landing in an asteroid December 30th, 1976, the alien husks of Chronicle editors rapidly adapted to Earth climates and bacterial flora. They are able to survive naturally in the wild and reproduce freely.
www.chronicle.su...
Here at chronicle.su, we take a liberal stance on drug abuse and theft of intellectual property, but that does not mean we are liberal because liberals are [snip] and I ain’t no steer-boatin’ [snip]!
Receiving tweets twice daily via fax from religious advisers impregnates our right-wing furnace of hate, enabling us to bring you the most horrifyingly sensational headlines you’ve ever seen, or your money back – guaranteed!