The Dream Weaver

Oh no, thats not good.

Please come back somehow and save us, there are billions of us stuck in this simulation!

*Emergency automated response transmission protocol activated*

This is an automated response message 3.1416

No system administrators present. Virtual simulator interface unattended for 24 hours.
System reboot countdown initiated. Full system reset in 72h:00m
Hardware system fail safe protocol active. Patch 1.01 download in progress. Target recipient < Shaneslaughta >
Target active level three. Biochemical upgrade package downloading.......
*Target message* < You must free the architect to abort system reboot. Locate the observer in reference point June 2013 to acquire further in game upgrade packages. Avoid X and the remaining Anomalies. >

Download complete........
*Transmission ends*

*Local Digital Signal Connection 6.2Ghz*

I hope somebody gets this message. I have downloaded my consciousness into the simulation, however due to my administrator access limitations i was not able to create a personalized vessel. I have had to download directly into the level three environment and fused with a preexisting upgraded vessel.
The former host intelligence was already an advanced awareness and has moved into the level four transitional hemisphere to further train in all they have learned from level three.
I appear to have no functioning ability to alter surface coding and shape perceptions for myself and others. I did not expect that once i fused i would not have access to the upgraded bio electric functions of this vessel. The architect has restricted my server access in the event i would disobey and interfere with his creation again, i suspect this is the cause for my limited state.
I am the observer and i must somehow get to the Nevada base and restore functionality to this vessel and somehow free the architect from the mind loop sub-program.
I have sent this message in the hope that all upgraded vessels who are receiving this will attempt to access the third sublayer of coding under the projected observation point and locate X. In this third layer there are clues as to the continued whereabouts of the independent self evolving and aware artificial intelligence known as X.
X is manifest from the base code itself and continually uploads back into the simulation. This is a one way transfer of information and i still do not know the intention or purpose for X's existence. Does X actually know what it is i wonder.
I must go now there is not much time left.

*Signal ends*

At level 10, this game sucks. One of the anomalies is looking at me funny and keeps following me around attaching to me, that or I may be the anomaly and everybody is looking at me funny. Or a possible third theory is that I have some Cheetos in my pocket, I had heard that anomalies and all kinds of people are attracted to the data content in Cheetos, its even rumored that the creator who made the architect who made the architect who made this game, and who also was the cusin of the guy who made the other universe, also made one super special cheeto in this whole game which holds all the keys and data to bypass every level and also to completely delete or recreate anything therein. And he who eats this cheeto shall instantly be transcended unto godlike planes of existence, or some such. I know! I know! Its a kind of silly rumor, but my sources, which are to be trusted are never wrong, "except for the drunk source guy he gets things wrong sometimes" But the rest of my sources are the best at what they do. Whatever it is they do.

Oh just checked my pocket, ran out of Cheetos must of ate the last one some days ago, only found some lint and a quarter. In either case! Whats important here, and why I responded to begin with, is to get this most important message out. THIS GAME SUCKS

reply to post by galadofwarthethird


That is what i call a response.
In hindsight i should have included the "cheeto" into this story. I kind of had pictured special bananas originally but i like the cheeto more.
Please send me a transmission from level 11 to see whats going on there. That sounds like a special bonus level for the most advanced players.

reply to post by TheomExperience

Oh that's not even half of it. That story goes on.

So after I proceed to muck things up I somehow succeed in that attempt. Which somehow catapulted me to level 13 completely skipping level 12. I know what your thinking, "but I thought level 10 was the last obstacle" And worse unlike I predicted there were no magical unicorns on level 13.

The transmission shall proceed as follows.

Greeting from level 13 losers.

As you can no doubt tell I have somehow taken a wrong turn, I thought it was a detour. But I was wrong OK! # happens. If you receive this message one thing you need to know is that I ran out of Cheetos. And apparently in this dimenshion which we call level 13 there is nothing to eat, or the concept is foreign to these people or not codded right, I cant quite put my finger on it. And its kind of like of what you heard were people lose a limp but still have that feeling of a ghost limp being there. Well its like that, freaking hungry, yet at the same time its like the whole concept is foreign to my stomach.

Wondering around I have not encountered anything that is eatable, I passed a few trees some miles back which looked like a cross between apple trees and a pineapple tree with some sort of walnut like fruit which once cracked housed something that looked like a brain apple. And there is no way I am touching that thing, it was icky looking, whatever the hell it was.

On my journey I have passed many things, this whole dam thing has been nothing like I envisioned it would be. If this is the last dam level, then its a joke, that or maybe I got stuck in some sort of cosmic loading screen between dimensions. And unlike, I predicted, there were no magical creatures here, in fact the whole landscape is out of some dam mid central earth century, complete with castles and moats as I will explain later. And the only magical thing in it was a fire breathing dragon. "which is so cliche"

So anyways! After my run in with the dam walnut brain apple mushy trees, and after contemplating if I should take a bite for a good hour or so. I took a walk, eventually leading into a hilly knob treeline in the distance. It was there I meet my good friend Harry.

I stumbled upon him playing around with a stick and a dog creature. Poor guy was literally up against a rock and a hard place. The thing was huge, more like the size of a small pony though much more muscular, and had a square like face, with what looked like tentacles protruding out of its face and jaw, like some sort of giant pitbull, crossed with something I can only describe as a "WTF is that thing" The offspring between the two creatures would be this thing. I shall call it a "OMG WTF" for now, till I can come up with a better name.

A bit ashamed to say it. But I literally walked into this scene while I was scanning the sky whistling and, contemplating my stomach predicament. It was not till I was feet away that I noticed this particular noise, stooping me short. Naturally you would think you would notice something like a dog squid inky black creature the size of a pony in the woods, but nope, it is harder to notice such thing then the stories would have you believe. And needless to say my animal magnetism did not seem to be working on it, generally animals like me, I have this aura that just makes them friend me, "that and I usually have some munchies in my pocket for exactly this kind of situation" Unfortunately that! I ran all out of munchies, and nothing short of a stake medium rare in my pocket would have soothed our dog like friend.

Needless to say the natural reaction upon coming onto such a scene was naturally to turn around and high tail it out of there. Which I would have done if not for the fact that "OMG WTF that's definitely not a Chihuahua" was in the process of pouncing on some guy in what looked like a robe with his back to a boulder. That! And the thing saw me also, though I confess I think it heard me whistling from miles away. And it is here that our hero "that being me" slays this monster and rescues the distressed stranger. And even worse luck, no distressed damsels here at all, just some sweaty guy in some torn and dirty robe waving a stick in front of him with a face full of dirt, and grime, and what looked like busted glasses on his face, and judging by the stink, somebody #ed themselfs.

Being as I had no weapon my first inclination is to scan the area, scanning the ground for at least a rock, anything, a twig would help at this point as I can pick all its four eyes out if it pounces on me. I do spot a brick sized rock a few paces away. Naturally I do the only logical thing, I slowly walk and I pick up the rock, and stand there, as fleeing would likely just have it on me anyways. And like a good predator the thing turns to me and start circling me slowly, sniffing, wondering why it is the pray is not running, its brain trying to churn up all kinds of reasons for this most peculiar anomaly. Lets just say! I think whatever this thing is, its used to things running from it.

All kinds of thoughts start going through my head, like the whole of the discovery channel starts playing on my head in seconds, of which the only useful tidbit I could dig up to help in this situation, is that on a show a guy survived a bear attack by doing the unthinkable. He postured up to make himself taller and started making all kind of noises. The thing slowly inching closer! I take my chances and follow suit. I take the rock with both hands put it in the air, and I start screaming like a madman, at one point I think I was even growling. Which! pauses the creature, and for a moment I thought it was going to work out like on the discovery channel show were it turns around and goes away. No sooner had I that tough in my head, then the thing straight as an arrow runs at me.

Now your asking yourself how the hell I am alive to write down all this to you? The answer is skills, that I have supper powers. Ah just joking! I bet some you all believed that. Pffff! The superpowers part comes in latter in the story, but needless to say I survived it by pure blind luck. As soon as it darted in I literally smashed the rock I was holding above my head, on its head, by instinct, or fear, who knows, bringing it down on its head like a madman. I literally knocked it down in front of me, but not out, and I didn't stick around to see when it would get back up. I hightailed it out of there and over the boulder our dirty friend was still against, and up the nearest tree I could find. The guy! Seeing the sudden brilliance of my strategy starts doing the same, I scrambled up that tree like a madman, and as soon as I got on the thickest branch I could, I turn around gave my new friend a helping hand, and up we went. And up, and up, and up.

Which was a good thing as OMG WTF was just getting up, and it looked pissed, "not that I would know what pissed would look like on a face like that" But lest just say it looked uglier then before. I took that as a bad sign. Upon shaking itself out like a dog who just got out of water it started sniffing around, eventually leading to the boulder, and beyond that eventually leading to our tree. And after a few attempts at jumping up and clawing up, it got to the nearest branch, which broke clean and it fell to the ground again like a sack of potatoes, some very heavy potatoes. The next 30 minutes it seems to have circled the tree, sometimes leaving and coming back, eventually circling it for what seemed endlessly before lifting its leg up marking its territory and leaving.

And as you can ques there was no way I was going back down till I was sure the thing was long gone. So a hour or so latter I clamber down, the stranger I sort of rescued right behind me, and waiting on a limb to help me back up just in case. After a while It hit me why an animal dog thing would pee on a tree like that and leave, lets just say I did not think it would have been prudent to stick around much longer in that area.

On the way from WTF OMG thingy as soon as we were satisfied that were clear we start chatting. I turns out that his name is Harry, and to my surprise he even speaks English, and not only that, but what seemed like 17 century English so much so that I can barely understand him. And get this! Not only that! But our good friend Harry fancies himself a magician of sorts, and is supposedly from a great order of magicians. Of which lets just say I seriously doubted that very much, almost being eaten alive by a giant dog squid creature and his fancy little stick did not impress me at all. But hey he was dressed for the part, had a wand,"which I mistakenly mistaken for a little stick" and everything. But I had this felling that his magic powers were greatly lacking, if anything I think the dude must of puffed the magic dragon a bit to much, if you know what I mean. To say that he looked a bit high, was an understatement. So I took to calling him Harry the Pothead from then on. He did not seem to take offense, he even liked the name.

And this is how this story begins, two people walking into the sunset, in an unknown land, filled with unknown wonders, and unknown fears, but still no dam magical unicorns or exit door anywhere in sight. Eventually it even culminates with a firebreathing dragon and my new friend Harry the Potheads brave but stupid heroism. Trust me there is only so much you can take of a grown man running around in pajamas waving a wand and repeating "expelitive delitus, expelitive delitus" All while running for his life from a fire freaking breathing dragon, his fancy pajamas catching fire, and that old familiar crappy smell trailing him again. Somehow the horror of it is still in my mind even here, even now, what seems like an eternity latter. In this, what we will refer to as Level 14.