Feedback Wanted

I flew to Oklahoma to visit my daughter its my 3rd day here and these damn tornado's have reaked havock for the last 2 days the one from yesterday was super close it ripped out trees in peoples yards, took out a few telephone poles and other damages but thank God there were no fatalities, There's no storm shelter in my daughter's apartment and no time to get to one so we huddled in her downstairs bathroom with blankets and sofa cushions listening to the sirens go off and hearing the news on her cell phone that the tornado was right above us...you can imagine how scary that was. Then today the twister took out that town Moore. needless to say I was stressed all day and still am...This being the scenario I have a question? do you think it rude that my daughter says to me. Mom I am gonna be gone for awhile to go and visit my gal friend...She could tell I was upset and asked what's the matter? I told her that it was rude to leave me alone and without a car in case something happened her reply= it will be fine. I told her that I would not treat my mom in this way. She said well times has changed things are different these days..Hmph...are they? or am I just being sensitive..So she took off and I'm here feeling butt hurt and abandoned. Have times changed that much??? what are your opinions? and would love some feedback from the younger ATS crowd ???

Originally posted by shells4u
thank God there were no fatalities,

Thank God he only killed about 20 children and some more adults. It's practically nothing compared to how many he could've killed. Praise the Lord! Let's keep him happy!

What comes to your daughter, we all live our lives the way we want to, obviously.
Did you visit on her request? Does she like to have you there? Is this the first time she's away?
If the starting point is "bad" (that she doesn't really wish you to be there right now), then the rest doesn't really matter.
If she does, then she obviously feels like she wants to do a few other things too.
Hard to say what the situation is over there and whose judgement is over/under-estimating.

Yeesh, now I know why mothers in the wild throw the runts away.

Is it too late to have a replacement? She seems a bit.. I dunno. short of mental bus fare if you ask me.

With what I've seen going on over there, and you actually making a point to visit, and then for her to take the car and go visit pals.. and telling you times have changed, cya mom, don't worry about the tornadoes it's really unlikely to damage anything else... I'd disown her lol

good thing I never had kids.

Or I'd not be there when she gets back.. gah crazy.. but then, I've never lived in an area prone to this sort of thing and don't know the mindset of those who do, I saw a lady on the news say "We lost everything. Have nothing left. But we're safe, praise god." and .. well if you believe in god and praise him after things like this, it's like thanking the burglar as he exits your bedroom window for not punching you in the face.

And I've seen people in Aus say "Last time the floods came, we lost everything. And now we've lost everything again." -- moving away from the places that flood doesn't make any sense? Oo

Home.. might be where the heart is, but seems the mind is often elsewhere.

reply to post by shells4u


Maybe she's just worried about her friends?
She was with you, so she knows you're fine. I have noticed among some of my friends who have children, that they don't take it so well when they are no longer a major focal point in their kids lives.

Just a thought.

reply to post by shells4u


Tell her she's lucky to not be one of those poor people who are in total shock at the death of a loved one today.

I personally think it was self-centered, and selfish of her to *abandon* you in an area not your home with no transportation during extreme weather, and with all personnel to help if you needed it, already in the hard hit areas looking for survivors under heaps of rubble in the dark.

Sorry she hurt you like this. I'm sure you didn't raise her this way. Honestly, if it were me, I'd pack up and go home tomorrow, JMOHO...

Des

How old is she, is she fairly young? It seems to me that is was an immature action. I would certainly talk to her about having more consideration for others.

reply to post by shells4u


I'm not going to judge your daughter.

I'm sorry you feel abandoned. You'll be safe tonight, express how you feel when you see her.

I'm sending good thoughts and peace to you.

Originally posted by Nevertheless

Originally posted by shells4u
thank God there were no fatalities,

Thank God he only killed about 20 children and some more adults. It's practically nothing compared to how many he could've killed. Praise the Lord! Let's keep him happy!

What comes to your daughter, we all live our lives the way we want to, obviously.
Did you visit on her request? Does she like to have you there? Is this the first time she's away?
If the starting point is "bad" (that she doesn't really wish you to be there right now), then the rest doesn't really matter.
If she does, then she obviously feels like she wants to do a few other things too.
Hard to say what the situation is over there and whose judgement is over/under-estimating.

She invited me, She works so no it wasn't the 1rst time she was away and yes we were having a nice time till this evening. Thank God is just a term I have always used..Im more spiritual than religious.

Originally posted by winofiend
Yeesh, now I know why mothers in the wild throw the runts away.

Is it too late to have a replacement? She seems a bit.. I dunno. short of mental bus fare if you ask me.

With what I've seen going on over there, and you actually making a point to visit, and then for her to take the car and go visit pals.. and telling you times have changed, cya mom, don't worry about the tornadoes it's really unlikely to damage anything else... I'd disown her lol

good thing I never had kids.

Or I'd not be there when she gets back.. gah crazy.. but then, I've never lived in an area prone to this sort of thing and don't know the mindset of those who do, I saw a lady on the news say "We lost everything. Have nothing left. But we're safe, praise god." and .. well if you believe in god and praise him after things like this, it's like thanking the burglar as he exits your bedroom window for not punching you in the face.

And I've seen people in Aus say "Last time the floods came, we lost everything. And now we've lost everything again." -- moving away from the places that flood doesn't make any sense? Oo

Home.. might be where the heart is, but seems the mind is often elsewhere.thanx for your post you made me snicker and brought my blood pressure down a notch

Originally posted by calstorm
How old is she, is she fairly young? It seems to me that is was an immature action. I would certainly talk to her about having more consideration for others.

edit on 21-5-2013 by calstorm because: (no reason given)

She is 24 and yes maybe after a nights restless rest we can talk without it turning into an argument...thanx

Originally posted by Destinyone
reply to post by shells4u

 

Tell her she's lucky to not be one of those poor people who are in total shock at the death of a loved one today.

I personally think it was self-centered, and selfish of her to *abandon* you in an area not your home with no transportation during extreme weather, and with all personnel to help if you needed it, already in the hard hit areas looking for survivors under heaps of rubble in the dark.

Sorry she hurt you like this. I'm sure you didn't raise her this way. Honestly, if it were me, I'd pack up and go home tomorrow, JMOHO...Thank you for your empathy...I'm not feeling so butt hurt after reading your reply and the others from my ATS pals...

Des

Why couldn't she just bring you along? Unless she left you for what she perceives to be the right reasons?

Do you need her to babysit you?

This is why you get rent a hotel room when you visit your children. They don't want to be around you every waking moment. They had enough of that the first 18 years of their life.

reply to post by yourmaker
she did not invite me to go with her because she knows I would have declined, I'm pretty much a home body and hanging out with 20 year olds is not my cuppa tea. I think we are both just stressed and handleing it in different ways. Awe...gotta love the old generation gap...Tomorrow is a new day,,,I dont want this to damper my visit with her, so I'll just beat her with a wet noodle and get over it...I was so pissed off when I started this thread but now I'm feeling much better...thanks for your post!!!

Originally posted by Ghost375
Do you need her to babysit you?

This is why you get rent a hotel room when you visit your children. They don't want to be around you every waking moment. They had enough of that the first 18 years of their life.

reply to post by shells4u


Whose car is it ? That should decide whether or not your daughter is going anywhere !

reply to post by shells4u
I sympathize with you and I agree that your daughter leaving you alone with your nervousness to keep you company was rude, but you might want to consider that maybe your extreme tension is making HER more tense than she would normally be and maybe she needed a break from your company in order not to get snappy with you. I have two daughters (22 and nearly 25) and have ridden out a few hurricanes with them complete with numerous tornadoes. When natural disasters occur nerves get stretched causing tempers to flare unnecessarily and it is better to take a break than to let tension build.

Originally posted by Destinyone
reply to post by shells4u

 

Tell her she's lucky to not be one of those poor people who are in total shock at the death of a loved one today.

I personally think it was self-centered, and selfish of her to *abandon* you in an area not your home with no transportation during extreme weather, and with all personnel to help if you needed it, already in the hard hit areas looking for survivors under heaps of rubble in the dark.

Sorry she hurt you like this. I'm sure you didn't raise her this way. Honestly, if it were me, I'd pack up and go home tomorrow, JMOHO...

Des

I agree. I'm sure you didn't raise her this way and she was being selfish and thoughtless.

reply to post by littled16
Yes i think you just hit the nail on the head thanks for posting your thoughts on this matter and sharing your first hand experience...Who better to lash out at than someone that loves you and will forgive and forget unconditionally...just human nature...

Originally posted by Nevertheless

Originally posted by shells4u
thank God there were no fatalities,

Thank God he only killed about 20 children and some more adults. It's practically nothing compared to how many he could've killed. Praise the Lord! Let's keep him happy!

What comes to your daughter, we all live our lives the way we want to, obviously.
Did you visit on her request? Does she like to have you there? Is this the first time she's away?
If the starting point is "bad" (that she doesn't really wish you to be there right now), then the rest doesn't really matter.
If she does, then she obviously feels like she wants to do a few other things too.
Hard to say what the situation is over there and whose judgement is over/under-estimating.

Oh my God, people like you make me sick.

How many times are atheists gonna hear the word "God" and blow up in a hateful retaliation? I have nothing against atheists in particular, but you acidic atheists, like some of the friends I recently got rid of, who ridicule believers in any way possible and make them feel like garbage, are seriously the WORST kind of people.

It sucks that children died, it sucks when ANY people die.

You're mocking the OP because of one little insignificant statement that has NOTHING to do with the question asked.

If there's something that all decent people, believers and atheists, should agree on, its humbleness.

Where's yours?

Hypocrite...?