Women don't like quiet males. (They prefer alpha males who are all bullies)

Originally posted by fadedface
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

I was stating biological truths about procreation which have been proved by millions of years of evolution and natural selection.

Don't try and back track as well you where calling me scary because I am quiet and passive or I wouldn't hold such views.

Also I've seen many women 'dehumanize' quiet and passive men by calling them 'loners', 'freaks' and 'weird' so get your facts right before you start talking about people dehumanizing other people!

I don't want to hear anything more from you.

edit on 19-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)

LOL, let me refresh your memory. My exact words:

You've decided you're not an alpha male, and that this is the reason you aren't with a woman. Your bitterness is very apparent, and several of your comments are spiraling towards mysoginistic viewpoints. Women pick up on these things, my friend. Your bitterness, your anger...it shows. And it is a singularly unattractive and scary quality.

Your bitterness and anger is what is scary. Not being quiet and passive.

I've tried to help you in this thread, tried to offer advice and open your mind a little. Apparently, you've drawn your conclusions and are uninterested in anyone's opinion if they disagree with you. That's your prerogative, but it does make me question your willingness to look subjectively at yourself.

As for not wanting to hear more from me, I have to wonder why? Perhaps there's a kernel of truth in my words and it makes you uncomfortable?

I'm going to bookmark this thread. I have a feeling that OP is going to be the next Ted Bundy lol.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I don't think I'm bitter or angry more just disillusioned because it wasn't made clear to me when I was younger that all human social interaction is based on self serving interest, all social acceptance is based on conformity and most of all women are only attracted to confident socially accepted (preferably alpha) males and all relationships are determined by natural selection, mutual self interest and self preservation.

I also noticed how you conveniently brushed aside the fact that women dehumanize socially awkward males with no confidence by referring to them as 'loners', 'odd' and in the worst instances 'weirdo's' etc. and there are even worse names I've heard women call quiet males with no social skills. It really does show a hypocrisy and facelessness on the part of a lot of women.

Originally posted by Xaphan
I'm going to bookmark this thread. I have a feeling that OP is going to be the next Ted Bundy lol.

Just because I have an opinion which goes against what is socially acceptable?

Are people really that narrow minded and reactionary these days (or have they always been)? Of course socially accepted confident people are always looking to marginalise and cast negative aspersions on any person whose 'face doesn't fit' so its nothing unexpected. Of course its easier to scapegoat the 'easy target' the quiet and passive people who can't assert themselves in social situations.

Human beings so predictable in their cruelty its quite sickening.

I also noticed how you conveniently brushed aside the fact that women dehumanize socially awkward males with no confidence by referring to them as 'loners', 'odd' and in the worst instances 'weirdo's' etc. and there are even worse names I've heard women call quiet males with no social skills. It really does show a hypocrisy and facelessness on the part of a lot of women.

reply to post by fadedface


I can't answer for what other women say or do. Personally, I don't think calling anyone names is helpful. But that gross overgeneralization isn't something only women do,,,,it's something PEOPLE do. All people, men and women.

Lets flip things around for a minute, shall we? I'm not the most attractive woman on the planet. I don't fit the Barbie mold. I was never vivacious or outgoing in my youth, instead I was introspective, quiet, and embarrassingly shy.

I dated two guys in high school, and that was it. Three in college. Married the first guy I had a serious relationship with...mistake. We divorced a year later. It was amicable, but still painful.

I used to think "What's wrong with me, that guys aren't interested?" I eventually realized that my insecurities were showing through, and my neediness was incredibly unattractive.

So I did something about it. Stopped looking for others' approval and focused on my personal opinion of myself. I forced myself out of my comfort zone of shyness, made myself talk to other people. Eventually, I became more confident in myself. That's when I began to date more. And you know what? I was 28 years old before that happened.

What I'm trying to say is, instead of focusing your anger on the situation....change the situation. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Confidence comes with practice.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Well said my dear...

Sorry op that you are upset and I get what you say and have observed the same thing in my western country with a big portion of the women. The problem is that you are trying to get something from someone who do not want to be your ideal and are having to much fun in their playing the field since they are allowed to be insane without having to pay for the whole consequences of their actions.

There are around you probably a few people who would be right for you but your fustration of not finding the real thing makes you aggressive of what could be the real thing.

My advice is to find a soul mate in a place where life is harder for the females because there doing the stupid thing has to much concequence to be done without thinking. People who have learned early how rough life can be without safety net will be more careful in putting themselves in these situation.

Or you could go the hermit route (old soul route) and evolve spiritually to a level where you understand why you feel so fustrated on this level of awareness.

One part of the problem is that the quiet stable ones allow the girls to come to them for help after they have procreated with the egoistic ones and clean up the mess the egoistic ones have created. If the quiet stable ones where not then the whole behaviour would fall apart since the girls would know they have one chance to choose and a lifetime to live with that decision. That would level the playing field quickly and make it more fair to all parties. As it is now the stable ones are inforcing the girls behaviour to be with egoistic ones since they are there to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Very true. Until the OP is willing to work on himself, his situation will never change. The problem is, he seems to think that everyone else should change to suit him.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Well you had insecurities but was still able to date (and I bet you dated alpha males not quiet socially withdrawn males) because you are female and males will always be competing for the attention of females regardless of whether they are insecure or not. Never underestimate how desperate men are but a male with insecurities will not be approached by females or have the opportunities you had despite feeling insecure. What I've been trying to do here is point out the disparity between males and females when it comes to having relationships in that women who are quiet will always have more options than quiet males which is unfair.

Anyway I'm not interested anymore I can see human relationships and female attraction toward confident males for what it is but I think its unjust the way quiet and passive socially awkward males are rejected, ignored, shunned and denigrated by females.

I think the whole set up of human interaction is unfair and based on cruel evolutionarily impulses which favour the most confident and strongest and I don't want or have any part in it.

I have nothing more to say to you now.

Here we go. Another female bashing thread by a man who has obviously been dumped.

I find it funny that you find more threads hating on women in this forum than you do women hating on men.
It's always "women like the bad boy, oh why not me."

Seriously move on, she didn't want you and it has nothing to do with wanting a "bad boy." Bad boys are a phase for most women and has nothing to do with women in general wanting that type!!

Did you ever think maybe it's you and not the female?

I have dated the bad boy, the quiet boy, the musician, the smart ass and so on.

My fiancee now is probably the most emotionally sensitive guy I've ever dated. I would not consider him a bad boy in any way so your theory is flawed.



As a female I think women want a man who is stable, loyal, honest, can stand up for himself yet also show his sensitive side!!

reply to post by LittleByLittle


I agree with a lot of what you say about the hypocrisy and double standards of females procreating with alpha males and then suddenly noticing the beta males after they have procreated with alpha males who have then left them or they see them for what they really are.

However even after women have procreated with alpha males and then start to look for a lesser male they still expect the male to be socially accepted and confident so even after procreation women are still drawn to lesser alpha males or beta males (particularly if their wealthy) or the nearest thing they can get to an alpha male.

All women are attracted to socially accepted confident males there is no female who would acknowledge a quiet, passive and uncompetitive male who lacks confidence and is socially awkward and this is wrong and shallow of them.

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Just a heads up. This thread isn't interested in logic or counter arguments, only in confirming his own bias. All attempts to bring reason and coherency to the table are met with an "I don't want to hear from you anymore." Fair warning!

By the way, hope you're feeling okay, I'm so envious of your condition!

Well you had insecurities but was still able to date (and I bet you dated alpha males not quiet socially withdrawn males) because you are female and males will always be competing for the attention of females regardless of whether they are insecure or not. Never underestimate how desperate men are but a male with insecurities will not be approached by females or have the opportunities you had despite feeling insecure. What I've been trying to do here is point out the disparity between males and females when it comes to having relationships in that women who are quiet will always have more options than quiet males which is unfair.

reply to post by fadedface


Nope. I dated other band geeks, who were just as dorky as me.

I get that you don't want to say or hear from me anymore. So I will leave you with one question, that I hope you will seriously consider.

What is the purpose of introspection, if not as an impetus for change?

reply to post by fadedface


As I've gotten older, so have my peers and I've noticed a trend. For the most part, only young and inexperienced women go for the "bad boys". And by "bad boys", I'm not talking about the "cool boys". The cool boys are the James Dean types who deserve the attention. The "bad boys" are the Biff Tanner and cheesy 80's testosterone type of guys.

No woman that I currently know will do more than laugh at those type of guys. They are more into the right kind of guys. You know, the Jonny Depps, the artists, the deep, the smart, the caring, the talented, and just crazy enough to utterly destroy those who hurt you.

Seriously, if you are a younger dude who is annoyed by the girls your age and their lack of discriminating tastes, just wait a few years and you'll start looking better to them. Or you could always just date older women like I did when I was young.

Originally posted by fadedface
Anyone notice that women always go for the 'bad boys' and 'arrogant jerks'?

This is because women are genetically hardwired to be instinctively attracted to alpha males and this is because alpha males are aggressively confident and competitive and Women ignore, reject and even ridicule quiet, uncompetitive and passive males like me who lack confidence..

Im sorry mate but just because you might be having hard time chasing models and getting nowhere does not mean that ALL women are after the amazing and mysterious "Alpha Male"

The fact of the matter is that women are attracted to confidence and alpha male traits in men more than anything else and it doesn't necessarily matter if the man is a good person or not so long as he is a confident alpha male.

Actually you'll find that both sexes are attracted to confidence - A trait that is showed in many ways and not just in your ability to show off in public. Confidence doesnt have to involve someone drawing attention to themselves but rather how you interact with people - Do you hold eye contact? how do you stand? What is your body language saying about you? "Alpha males" are likely to have aggressive body language which can and does send people running.

Women know that procreation with an alpha male will give her offspring the necessary genes to survive and be competitive so women in this sense are propagating survival of the fittest.

Women do not think about procreation every time they hook up with someone. If they're attracted to a male they'll be thinking about other things, take my word.

As well as this women also inherently despise quiet and passive males such as myself because they perceive us as weak and uncompetitive and this goes against the social Darwinism which women adhere to in social situations which is why women always marginalise the quieter males in social situations.

Think you have self esteam issues and if the women you're interacting with catch a sniff of that, they'll probably be unwilling to prop up your ego - No one wants to be your mother.

It is also clear that the human society we live in is so violent because women are still predominately breeding with aggressive and competitive alpha males and instilling the violent and competitive genes in the next generation. If women went against their genetic and social conditioning and procreated instead with weaker, passive and timid males eventually human society would become more tolerant and peaceful.

Absolutely no evidence to support this claim and i personally think your logic is flawed.

However this is against female nature and it is females who force alpha males to behave so aggressively, competitively and violently because alpha males realize that women only select the strongest and fittest males for procreation.

Women are not responsible for the actions and behaviours of others. If people choose to act like idiots to impress someone that's their choice.

Also because women are affronted by the uncompetitive and passive nature of non alpha males such as 'omega males' like myself they manipulate alpha males into bullying us and alienate and deny us social acceptance which is no great loss as social acceptance is conditional on 'conformity of thought' and all human social interaction is based on self serving interest, double standards and hypocrisy.

Are you seriously trying to shift the blame for your lack on success with women on women!?

Females marginalise passive and uncompetitive males because on a unconscious level (or maybe consciously in some cases) women are trying to wipe out quiet and passive 'omega males' because they know if we where to be evolutionarily successful we could change human society and eventually human nature by subverting the survival of the fittest competitive natural order of life which women are defined and moulded by.

Again, no evidence and your logic is flawed.

Women in terms of attraction to males don't seem to have mentally evolved beyond primates in that they are still predominately attracted to aggressively confident and competitive alpha males. Women in regard to the males they are attracted to and choose for procreation still exist in a 'hunter gatherer' society.

Again, belittling of women because you've had little success, can you hear yourself?

All of this proves that all human relationships between men and women are based on natural selection, self preservation and mutual self interest and any other notion such as 'love' is mere human egotism.

You are seriously deluded and shamefully lacking any understanding of human relationships.

Well I'm glad I'm an omega male and am looking forward to disappearing from the gene pool.

Doesn't have to be that way, if you want success drop your standards, not everyone can have Beyonce.

The OP is right - women are attracted to thugs and jerks.

They may deny it, but it's true.

I've seen it throughout my life and still see it now at the workplace.

However, unless you are extremely quiet and introspective - to a pathological degree - you will still be an object of female interest.

I'm by no means a thug or a jerk but I get my share of attention, without trying.

Women are very subtle about asking you out on a date.

A man would say, "Can I ask you out on a date?" or "Do you fancy coming out for a drink with me?"

A woman doesn't put all her eggs in one basket and risk outright rejection; she'll say, "We're going out for a drink next Friday - wanna come?" - making it sound like they were going anyway, and you were just an afterthought.

That's a well-worn one, that is - if a woman asks you that, she's asking you out on a date.

I can't explain why you get no interest from women AT ALL - perhaps you need to look at yourself more closely, as it sounds like you may be subconsciously driven to sabotage that interest.

But there's nothing wrong with being single anyway.

I'm single too, for the record.

It's not for everyone, but it suits me.

Originally posted by kaylaluv
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

Very true. Until the OP is willing to work on himself, his situation will never change. The problem is, he seems to think that everyone else should change to suit him.

I think his fustration is perfectly reasonable for the situation he is in. Old soul who are too far gone to conform to the box but have not awoken yet (from my guess). He wants the ideal and get upset that life on earth is not ideal. It is true that he should work on himself but that do not mean that he is not 100% wrong in his assessment of his surrounding. This is a problem of the spirit from my point of view and he has used a lot of key words that show his way of thinking very far outside of the box.



To op. You can be confident even if you are not an egoistic manipulative guy and I am pretty sure you are confident in many areas.

Just want to add, the whole "Alpha/Omega" thing is bunch of BS and people (Especially men) would do right not to think on these terms if they're in the dating game. People want to date someone who they're physically attracted to AND HAS A PERSONALITY COMPATIBLE WITH THEIRS.

No one wants to date and ass hole.
No one wants to date a slut.

Everyone wants to settle down with someone who they can trust, shares the shame goals/desires and relate to on multiple levels. Its nothing to do with being an "Alpha" or "Omega"

reply to post by Cuervo


Haha great advice older women is the best way to learn!

Loved them! I can't do it anymore because I'd be dating gram'ma now, but yeah if you're young shoot for an older lady the conversations are better too.

There was a song back when I was a kid it went like this

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life make an ugly woman your wife

Lol what a great song I got to look that up now!

reply to post by fadedface


You have a weak frame. I can assure you that if you're out in a scene and exhibit this lack of value, whether primary or secondary, you will not be successful; women will smell this on you a mile away. You also assume that women want a continually loud, brash, and overzealous male. This is not true; they want versatility. You need to be able to gauge when to be sensitive, funny, aloof, assertive, and passive. Your problem seems to be not understanding this dynamic. Women will test you, always, consciously or subconsciously, and you will only pass by understanding the dynamic of attraction and where you are within it. If you continue to be funny when she wants to build rapport you will lose her, if you show disinterest in her as a woman when she's opening up you will lose her, if you attempt to build rapport before you have shown value you will lose her.
Being dominant is not simply a characteristic of loudness, that in itself can be compensation, and childish. Being alpha is about strength, of character, desire, and goals. If there is any part of you that is not consistent in this regard, women will see you as beta.

Your plight also reminds me of this song: