ATS Marriage Announcement

Greetings, y'all!

ATS is not normally known as a dating site, but it IS known for topics of high strangeness, This is one of them. I met my current wife right here at good old ATS. How's that for conspiratorially weird? It gets weirder... You see, she's a Muslim, and I'm not. Most folks familiar with my posts would have never guessed such a thing. Not in a million years. I follow Jesus (well, about as well as I can, anyhow), but I'm not any sort of Christian I've ever run across, and can't seriously call myself one on that account. Anyone who has read any of the running battles I've had with Muslims here would never have guessed I'd marry one, but there it is. Just goes to show that we don't have to spend ALL of our time trying to kill one another off - we can take breaks from it, and learn in the process.

Evidently she's one of those Muslims I had some running battles with, and oddly enough it sparked something. Told you it gets weird. As it turns out, religion is not a barrier to getting along, and getting along very well. Two people of different faiths CAN get along - all it takes is respect for one another, and respect for their ability to sort out their own beliefs... and the respect to allow them to do that, and the tenacity to uphold it against the certain onslaughts, and support each other when they come... because they WILL. Trust me on that.

Two people who meet online CAN make it, but there are hoops to jump through. The number one hoop is to realize who you ARE, yourself, rather than who you WANT to be. If you can't even be honest with yourself, it doesn't matter WHERE you meet - you'll never be able to be honest with them, either, and it'll fail. Without being entirely open and honest, there will be no success, regardless of the venue where you meet, and that openness and honesty are the most difficult things to deal with - far more difficult than the censure of others. Others are rank strangers, and can be left in the dust. Not so easy to do with a spouse. Leaving yourself open means leaving yourself vulnerable, and so requires a bit more trust than usual, with the concurrent risks it also entails. Without it, however, there is no risk - and no reward. It's doomed to failure from the beginning.

Might as well go fishing instead.

We'll face our share of trials and tribulations, and a lot of folks set against us because of our choice, but I believe love will always prevail against evil, and together we'll stand against the onslaughts, hand in hand.

This time last year, I was living with a woman who really didn't want to be lived with. Oh, she didn't mind SPENDING every dime I could make, but the whole "acting like a wife" thing was way out of her league. There's only so much sleeping on the couch and cooking for himself and whatnot that any man is going to put up with, and I'm the only one I've ever met who would put up with if for a year before deciding that he can spend his own money far better. I mean, good lord, if you're going to be by yourself, why not just BE BY YOURSELF? So I determined that I was getting the hell out of there, and was going to spend the rest of my days out in the woods and mountains by myself, but at peace. I was OK with that. Came into this world naked, alone, and screaming, and I was OK with going back out the same way.

Then I got an odd U2U.

Someone I'd crossed words with in a religion thread opened a dialog. I didn't see it coming. Didn't even know if it was a male or a female, and didn't much care at the time. That came later.

The groundwork was laid in U2U's, over a period of time. That progressed to texting and phone calls. Eventually, I made good on my choice from before to get the hell out of Dodge, but with a brand new plan for the rest of my days. After some rank unpleasantness where I was, wherein I lost my ass and everything I had of value, which was stolen in my attempt to flee, I got on a bus. No matter. I think there's an ancient Chinese proverb that says something along the lines of "a wise man must be prepared to relocate with only what he has on his back many times in a life time". Yup, that was me. Again.

I was arrested on trumped up BS charges (that's a whole 'nother story, not for this thread. but believe it or not, I thanked the cop for getting me the hell out of there, even as I was being led away in handcuffs - he was pretty decent about the whole thing) and did a couple days in jail, all because I just wanted to leave - and take my paycheck with me. While I was in jail, they ransacked my stuff, and stole everything of value - even all of my identity papers - my birth certificate, social security card, even my son's birth certificate and my ex-wife's death certificate. I mean to tell you they cleaned me out. Who in the hell is going to take on a man with NOTHING - not even an identity any more? I found out who.

Got out of jail and went to court the second day after that, left the court house and came home to my mountains, rested a day, and then hopped on a west-bound bus. I'd made a promise, you see, and I was damned well going to keep it, whatever that took. Folks who know me know that I'm like that, which is why it's so hard to squeeze a promise out of me. I don't make 'em if I'm not sure I can keep 'em.

SO - I rode westward for a day or so, hopped off the bus at my destination with just what I could pack in my old beat-up ALICE rucksack, and there she was at the station waiting, even knowing all the aggravation of the past few days that I'd run through, and knowing I was showing up with NOTHING. We were married within 5 hours of my boots hitting the ground there, right at 7 days after my arrest . At a city bus stop no less. We had a preacher meet us there, got married right there in front of God and everybody, a bunch of strangers we didn't know for the wedding party and to witness it. I tell ya, you just can't make this stuff up - folks wouldn't believe it.

There it is, the whole sordid tale. I don't regret it a bit, and don't believe I'm going to. After a few months, you can generally tell if you've made a mistake, and I'm seeing no signs of it, weird and fast though the buildup was. We've kept it quiet for a few months, just dealing with the disapproval of friends and family and whatnot, but now that's dealt with, it's time to go public and see what sort of onslaught comes on. I'll not identify her, the religious problems being what they are. She can do that herself if she wants to. Enough folks around here already know who it is, anyhow.

neno

Congratulations
This gives me hope to try and chat with Darrllyn
Or maybe I can turn Manhater around

Originally posted by thesmokingman
Congratulations

This gives me hope to try and chat with Darrllyn

Or maybe I can turn Manhater around

HAHA Good luck with that especially one latter one...

Oooo I shouldna typed that out loud Geez I am sure to hear about that.

OP Congrats I hope things go good for you!

reply to post by thesmokingman


Thanks! I'd go for it if I were you - you never know unless you have a go at it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, who dares wins, that sort of thing. What's the worst that can happen? Rejection? There are worse things, and when you get as old as me, you've already fielded your share of that, anyhow!

After all, I was all set to live out the rest of my days alone as a hermit in the woods.

Hmmm....good luck, i wont beat around the bush like most here
Everyone ive ever known to get married to someone they dont know are now either divorced, or are getting divorced a year or 2 on.

A few of my friends got married to people they had known less than 6 months....always goes the same way, divorce is inevitable. You may "love" her now, she may "love" you, but i doubt it will last. Meeting someone for 5 hours, talking online for a bit, chatting on the phone, you dont know her, and she doesnt know you. You can deny it now, but in a year, 6 months, or 3 years down the line i will see you back here saying how it never worked out. I know you think im being nasty, but thats the way it is, ive seen it plenty of times.

If your friends and families dont accept it, it wont last long. Good luck, enjoy it whilst it lasts

Originally posted by abeverage

OP Congrats I hope things go good for you!

edit on 9-5-2013 by abeverage because: (no reason given)

Thanks!

I think I've earned some time in the shade now!

I love a happy ending i'm still waiting on one so keep your fingers crossed lol

All the luck for the future the both of you at least now you can settle down to a big bit of happiness and a meal on the table after a hard days working, fish,chips and mushy peas

reply to post by nenothtu


Hahaha... Weird reading it all!

Love is love and no one has ever loved me for who I was before,rather than what they wanted me to be - and I had never found someone so perfect and wonderful as you before.

We dont always have to agree... just respect!

So, hope is alive for us - and maybe everyone else too!

Always and Forever I will love you Husband

Originally posted by AmberLeaf
Hmmm....good luck, i wont beat around the bush like most here

Everyone ive ever known to get married to someone they dont know are now either divorced, or are getting divorced a year or 2 on.

A few of my friends got married to people they had known less than 6 months....always goes the same way, divorce is inevitable. You may "love" her now, she may "love" you, but i doubt it will last. Meeting someone for 5 hours, talking online for a bit, chatting on the phone, you dont know her, and she doesnt know you. You can deny it now, but in a year, 6 months, or 3 years down the line i will see you back here saying how it never worked out. I know you think im being nasty, but thats the way it is, ive seen it plenty of times.

If your friends and families dont accept it, it wont last long. Good luck, enjoy it whilst it lasts

edit on 9-5-2013 by AmberLeaf because: (no reason given)

Negative Nelly much? I knew a couple who had been dating for 10 years TEN LONG YEARS! They lived together. Then they married and 6 months later divorced and went separate ways. Know another couple who met in a dating service went to Vegas in a week that have been married for 10...

Originally posted by thesmokingman
Congratulations

This gives me hope to try and chat with Darrllyn

Or maybe I can turn Manhater around

I did try to chat up Phage once.

He pointed out the flaws in my proposal with numerous diagrams and scientific data. He obviously thought it would discourage me but, little did he know, I happen to find pie charts sexy.

Congratulations though, neno.

reply to post by AmberLeaf


No problem - speaking your mind ain't "being nasty". On the converse side, I've also known folks to marry people they've known for years, and have it fail and end in divorce. I believe it's directly correlated to the amount of energy you're willing to put into it to make it work, and most folks these days have nary a bit of tenacity or commitment anywhere within arm's reach of them. Problems will come, they always do, but it's a matter of how you handle them and how willing you are to make it work.

Most folks these days are all too eager to just cut and run.

I'm not.

Originally posted by AmberLeaf
Hmmm....good luck, i wont beat around the bush like most here

Everyone ive ever known to get married to someone they dont know are now either divorced, or are getting divorced a year or 2 on.

A few of my friends got married to people they had known less than 6 months....always goes the same way, divorce is inevitable. You may "love" her now, she may "love" you, but i doubt it will last. Meeting someone for 5 hours, talking online for a bit, chatting on the phone, you dont know her, and she doesnt know you. You can deny it now, but in a year, 6 months, or 3 years down the line i will see you back here saying how it never worked out. I know you think im being nasty, but thats the way it is, ive seen it plenty of times.

If your friends and families dont accept it, it wont last long. Good luck, enjoy it whilst it lasts

edit on 9-5-2013 by AmberLeaf because: (no reason given)

I married my wife less than six months after meeting her. That was 13 years ago and we are still married. Very happily.

Congrats on the nuptials!

It is also strange that I have met and reestablished a long lost love of ten years on ATS (we were together for that long) and we have known each other for about 20.

She used to think I was strange and paranoid....not anymore tho. (Well, maybe a little) Couldn't talk her into prepping before and now she's teaching me a little.

Won't say her name here out of respect for her privacy but she knows how it is. And now we are best friends again.

Peace

Originally posted by ballymoney50
I love a happy ending

i'm still waiting on one so keep your fingers crossed lol

They seem to come when you least expect them.

It's hard to expect getting blindsided. but that's the way it sometimes works.

Big time!

Originally posted by AmberLeaf
Everyone ive ever known to get married to someone they dont know are now either divorced, or are getting divorced a year or 2 on.

Ah right, I hear ya...the solution then is inbreeding!

Originally posted by OpinionatedB

We dont always have to agree... just respect!

If we always agreed, one of us would be entirely unnecessary! Who would make me think if not you?

I love you, gorgeous - glad you could make it!

reply to post by nenothtu


lll
What a wonderful love story!

reply to post by jude11


I've got a bit of a paranoid streak myself. Always remember, just because you're paranoid, that doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you!

reply to post by nenothtu


hahaha... Im not gorgeous! but you ARE Sexy!

Wow!
Congratulations to the both of you, and hopes for a long and happy life together.
My husband told his buddies, the first time he met me, he would marry me. Since I was married at the time, they thought that was pretty funny.

He got the last laugh, and we have been together for 18 years now.