A Rotten Humanity

Stepping out the front door gives you no second thought.

Each day, you never see the world. You b-line for your car without another thought.

And, here I stand, no more than one of the millions of human beings that walk the planet, this planet we inhabit, a planet in which half its inhabitants are fat while the other half starve... and here we are, day after day, consumed by our thoughts regarding our school work, finances, or maybe the latest movie...

God, give me a break.

You bunch of worthless hypocrites... stop getting in my face. Stop asking me what's wrong. Stop telling me that all my aspirations and goals will land me in jail.

I despise my life.

My life, a life lived around high school assignments and petty school rules forbidding me from wearing my spike collar because its "dangerous..." God, just shut up.

People both at home and in other nations are starving, because their lives are raped and ravaged by some government's greed. No, we are not fighting for freedom.

We are fighting for market and oil. Wal-marts and McDonalds' being set up in other countries we're invading... come on. Don't give me that "fight for freedom" crap.

We have our freedoms because of rebels from the past.

Not because of the soldiers in our present.

These thoughts flash through my head in less than a second, on average... just standing here, outside the door, looking at the world... the bright firey sun, casting its rays to the world below, bringing life to us, her inhabitants... those gorgeous trees, slowly withering away, its orange and red leaves raining down from the branches, all coating the street like a river of autumn leaves, the wind gusting them by my ankles...

And through all this beauty, I scowl.

I hate it.

Because I love it.

Because there is still beauty and innocence in the world... that and that alone means that I, an informed individual of the new generation, am responsible for fighting against the evil that runs our world, slaughtering beauty, corrupting innocence...

Such purity is wasted on our world.

Life was once light, bright, and new... adventurous and glorious. I couldn't wait to leap into the world, to make a difference, to be simply the best I could be... weather I had a boyfriend or not, I would strive on love, I would prove myself loyal to anyone who'd bless me by taking the time to trust me, I would not rule myself by anger anymore... I would breathe, I would be calm, which would give me the room and clear head I require to be humble.

The meek shall inherit the world, and meek was my goal.

Then, I learned.

I saw, observed, heard, and eventually, researched the truths of the world that a child like me could have scarcely imagined possible... why? Why has no one done anything about it?

Evil reigns the world, governments kill their people, wars are fought for profit, and life is molded by propaganda.

It sent my bright, wonderous view of the world crashing down around me.

There was no longer happiness. I no longer cared for myself. Why should I? Why care for anything when everything is so very wrong? Why make a goal to spread good when evil reigns powerful?

Life ambushed me... from the ghetto schools, to the petty family issues, to the truths of the sinful world hitting me like a sack of bricks, out of nowhere, all at once...

I was jumped in school. I was hated. Not sure why, but I was hated. Always.

I was not a human being to my family. For a child to ask questions was to question their rightness, which, in my clan, bestowed a terrible sentence upon you.

Hope kept me alive.

It kept my lungs breathing, it kept my heart beating... it kept me in the habit of crawling out of bed in the morning, because I knew, one day, I would be free from my tyrannical family... I would be rid of the thugs in the damn school, I would break away and begin my own life, in a whole new world... a gloriously wonderful world, full of opportunity, a world that functions on the well-being of goodness, the rights of the people, the will and love of the Lord, and the strength and rightiousness of humanity...

And once I broke free, it became clear.

The world was not made of goodness.

It was, as I had never imagined, evil.

Rotten.

Yes, I have found love. But my loved ones don't care.

Why fix the wrongs of the world?

I don't understand their drone-like outlook.

Why don't they care?

Society degenerates, the wealthy become jaded with power while the poor remain lazy.

And I hate it.

I despise it more than anything. Each day, I awaken not because I want to, not because I have personal goals, not because my life in itself is worth living... but because I have to.

I have to.

I have to awaken, to continue to awaken others.

It is my job.

It is my purpose.

I no longer smile upon each day.

I scowl.

It hurts--physically hurts--to see beauty. To see innocence in the eyes of a child. To feel their naive happiness, bleeding through their simple words and smile. And I can only think--the world is going to ruin them.

Just as it did me.

I am hateful. There's almost nothing I won't say. Hateful, acidic, angry and jaded.

Such beauty and wonder, I once saw when I casted my gaze upon the world before me...

Yet now, I only see our future.

Our reality.

No longer driven by the light of good.

I hate the world.

Good. I bestow upon you the graduate certificate of life awareness. Don't let it beat you though. The only counter to evil is the little good you do for someone each day. The ones that come up. Not the ones that you make. You can't fix everything, and you are right the world is full of wicked people. Don't let them win. You could have been one of the other "don't cares". Chris Rock said that a little more awareness is a certain kind of Hell.

Just be that beautiful you. That is all you have to do.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


Alex Jones rightfully calls this a prison planet. I give him that. I myself see the big picture. Money and hiarchy. And something else, whether it's other beings, fallen angels, it's hinted at by the men of influence and power.. Woodrow Wilson hinted of it. Even Carlos Castenada wrote somethign about us being a giant factory farm of sheeple, and this is a technique through the ages, of money, hiarchy, and mushroom serfs. Of psychopaths creating sociopaths.
All we can do is what we are able to, that is good, in our spheres. I want to save all the animals, I want to rescue the abused kids, I want to "save the whales" I want to save the rainforests. I wish I was God. One that really could do something, versus, not.

You have understood and felt the press of the inhuman condition. This is the fundamental underpinning of all power, all structure, all governance and rule on this planet.

However, dont let it get you down. Dont let it beat you, dont let it scour your soul, and tear the flesh of your heart with talons of despair. In the barren wasteland that the human race represents, there are oases of real love and care. There are people left here who will do what they can to bring light into the world, to banish the darkness.

We are not yet lost. While there are people such as yourself, who see beneath the decaying flesh of human existence, while there are people out there prepared to look honestly upon thier lives, and the way thier lives effect the lives of others, there is hope.

You, yourself are an example of that hope, despite your scowl, in fact, because of it.

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Stepping out the front door gives you no second thought.

Each day, you never see the world. You b-line for your car without another thought.

And, here I stand, no more than one of the millions of human beings that walk the planet, this planet we inhabit, a planet in which half its inhabitants are fat while the other half starve... and here we are, day after day, consumed by our thoughts regarding our school work, finances, or maybe the latest movie...

Why would you b line for your car? Whats your problem, why do you walk with your head down? Why are you ashamed?

God, give me a break.

You bunch of worthless hypocrites... stop getting in my face. Stop asking me what's wrong. Stop telling me that all my aspirations and goals will land me in jail.

I despise my life.

You seem to care too much what others think and you superficially attempt to fill your pride and ego thinking that people actually care about you and what you do. you may realize is that the nagging voices and delusional thoughts you have of "what others think" may just be in your head. IN reality people have their own lives to deal with and as you get older you might understand that you are 1 in 7 billion. Not unique.

My life, a life lived around high school assignments and petty school rules forbidding me from wearing my spike collar because its "dangerous..." God, just shut up.
come on. Don't give me that "fight for freedom" crap.

Caring again too much about what others think and then being a hypocrite because you want to wear a certain style and you feel awkward doing it. In your head you hear voices you assume that they are other people's thoughts about your 'unique' collar but in reality its all in your head causing you irritability and madness. People seem to care only as much as you do and seem to judge as a reflection of your own judging of others.

Evil reigns the world, governments kill their people, wars are fought for profit, and life is molded by propaganda.

It sent my bright, wondrous view of the world crashing down around me.

Agreed brother. From a philosophical point one can say the the evils in the world are a macro-reflection of ones inner thoughts and self. So if you see evil in the world ask yourself if this evil exists within you, if you can conceive it than the answer is yes. Your potential to perpetuate the evils in the world exists within you. Idleness is not your savior.

There was no longer happiness. I no longer cared for myself. Why should I? Why care for anything when everything is so very wrong? Why make a goal to spread good when evil reigns powerful?

Ask yourself how if the inner conflict you have was amplified would it not reflect the world you seem to see? As you move your consciousness to a more positive, go with the flow attitude you will see the world around you change. Your mental state is the filter to reality.

Life ambushed me... from the ghetto schools, to the petty family issues, to the truths of the sinful world hitting me like a sack of bricks, out of nowhere, all at once...

I was jumped in school. I was hated. Not sure why, but I was hated. Always.

Forget them. Stand tall. Look in peoples eyes. Know who you are. Speak firm.

I was not a human being to my family. For a child to ask questions was to question their rightness, which, in my clan, bestowed a terrible sentence upon you.

Life is not about making money and looking cool. What you are going through is the human experience and have to learn to break the shackles of redundant beliefs and thoughts.

Yes, I have found love. But my loved ones don't care.

Why fix the wrongs of the world?

I don't understand their drone-like outlook.

Focus on yourself and those close to you. That's all you can do and don't try to go beyond that unless you see it achievable.

Society degenerates, the wealthy become jaded with power while the poor remain lazy.

And I hate it.

And you if you became rich you too would become one of them. You must put yourself in peoples shoes and ask yourself what would you do?

I despise it more than anything. Each day, I awaken not because I want to, not because I have personal goals, not because my life in itself is worth living... but because I have to.

I know a guy in a wheelchair who cant feed himself. He wants to trade lives with you.

reply to post by Shadow Herder

Why would you b line for your car? Whats your problem, why do you walk with your head down? Why are you ashamed?

Like, people going off to their jobs every day, rather than stopping to look at the world?

You seem to care too much what others think and you superficially attempt to fill your pride and ego thinking that people actually care about you and what you do. you may realize is that the nagging voices and delusional thoughts you have of "what others think" may just be in your head. IN reality people have their own lives to deal with and as you get older you might understand that you are 1 in 7 billion. Not unique.

What other people think matters, to some extent. You can not live without some exposure to other people, especiallly when you have loved ones. Don't give me that "not unique" stuff. Everyone is unique, no matter how many people there are in the world. I care what others around me are up to, and my loved ones have shown that they pay mind to me as well.

Caring again too much about what others think and then being a hypocrite because you want to wear a certain style and you feel awkward doing it. In your head you hear voices you assume that they are other people's thoughts about your 'unique' collar but in reality its all in your head causing you irritability and madness. People seem to care only as much as you do and seem to judge as a reflection of your own judging of others.

Just sounds like a few stereotypes about me stated as though they're facts.

Agreed brother. From a philosophical point one can say the the evils in the world are a macro-reflection of ones inner thoughts and self. So if you see evil in the world ask yourself if this evil exists within you, if you can conceive it than the answer is yes. Your potential to perpetuate the evils in the world exists within you. Idleness is not your savior.

Agreed on this part, and I'm a "sister."

Ask yourself how if the inner conflict you have was amplified would it not reflect the world you seem to see? As you move your consciousness to a more positive, go with the flow attitude you will see the world around you change. Your mental state is the filter to reality.

Life ambushed me... from the ghetto schools, to the petty family issues, to the truths of the sinful world hitting me like a sack of bricks, out of nowhere, all at once...

Yeah, I suppose...

Forget them. Stand tall. Look in peoples eyes. Know who you are. Speak firm.

Right on.

Life is not about making money and looking cool. What you are going through is the human experience and have to learn to break the shackles of redundant beliefs and thoughts.

I really don't care about money. I care about maintaining myself, my loved ones, and living with a purpose.

And you if you became rich you too would become one of them. You must put yourself in peoples shoes and ask yourself what would you do?

You seem to have assumed that I want some kind of power... I don't

I naturally have a tyrant's personality, and I've caught myself in the act being one. I'm trying to kill that part of myself. That's one of the reasons I haven't thought about having kids yet. I don't believe I'm ready to have anyone else's life in my hands as of now. I am not someone who ought to be entrusted with power... not right now.

I know a guy in a wheelchair who cant feed himself. He wants to trade lives with you.

Yeah, I understand that people like me tend to take things like general every day life gifts for granted, but I'm really working on that... and I'm venting my thoughts and beliefs in the form of a little short story. I wasn't aware that doing so meant that I had to meet any expectations regarding what others think of my thoughts and feelings.

Just because my grateful thoughts aren't expressed here doesn't mean I'm absent of them.

This is a vent of my negative thoughts, and I have every right to express them.