UK Schools Ban Kids From Making Best Friends

reply to post by Hecate666

I think it is a good thing that it is highlighted early, don't you? I don't care by whom and I don't care how [out of proportion as you call it]. Yes it may be an isolated case but that is already one too many.

Yes, it should be nipped in the bud early - preferably by the relevant School Authority......but it shouldn't be reported in such a sensationalist manner or represented as indicative of all UK schools just to pursue a political agenda.

The Sun would be better served reporting on the dilapidated state of our schools, adult illiteracy and the general crisis that is threatening our education system as a whole.

More ridiculousness in a world becoming ever more upside down (The pole shift did happen, albiet slowly)

This avoidance of so called "negative" emotions is reaching psychotic proportions. I know people who, when sad or depressed for a legitimate reason (severe car accident and months in hospital, or death of someone close), act as though there is something wrong with them and run to the doctor to "fix" them with SSRIs. They believe that life should be one big happy time. That feeling sad or depressed is not normal (Granted, feeling sad or depressed indefinitely is not normal)

However, grieving is natural. It is the avoidance that ultimately causes the real suffering. I have seen this up close and personal. Grief, sadness and depression are ultimately curative. The pill doesn't make it go away, it simply bottles it up so it can come up over and over again - making it last forever! (Don't bother telling me how wrong I am - been told that many times by depressed people who are always popping those pills - my they must work so well!)

Preventing children from having a best friend because of the potential "trauma" they may experience from losing that friend is teaching a very unhealthy way of looking at the world. There are risk in everything we do. If we avoid everything that may cause feelings loss or pain then we will never experience the counterparts of joy and love. And surely the good experiences outweigh the pain of loss many, many times over. Do I regret ever having a pet at all because of the pain I feel when they die? Of course not.

Why have children? One day you are probably going to die before they do and cause them suffering with your death or if they die first then you will have to suffer - isn't it best to just not bother?

"better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

Here we go again. Folks going off with massive rants. As I keep saying to my partner (who occasionaly reads a tabloid) it only takes ONE to make a headline. The likes of the sun and daily mail are very good at reporting ONE and making out its common.

A little digging and this seems like a few isolated schools where an idiotic psychologist (who is probably trying to sell a book !!!) has managed to get the ear of a few primary heads. Would not suprise me if there some nepotism embedded in there as well.

Everyone else that comments on this be they journalists, psychologists or teachers say its madness.

Liberals and Progressives are funny sometimes, until you realize the damage they do. In a Utopian society and dare I say...world, people would naturally "all get along", have no guns, not do drugs, have everything they want, etc. But forcing that mind-set when the world isn't there yet is not only stupid but irresponsible. We could have no guns when there is no danger to fear. In fact, except for entertainment and food (hunting), if there were no danger no one would have a gun. The same with "friends" and "best friends". If we truly all got along, maybe you wouldn't need a best friend. But those changes are based upon the reality allowing people to change their actions and decisions, not by forcing the actions or decisions when the reality dictates otherwise.

This is a huge part of the American problem. By the way...I'm American. The laws/rules need to take into account that we don't live in a perfect world and therefore, we can't make laws that restrict people from "protecting" themselves against the non-perfect-ness. A simple test is this. If the government needs something to function with the rest of the world, the people need the same thing to function in society. As long as your government has allies, we will have best friends. As long as the government has an army, we will need guns. As long as there are police, we will need protection. When America doesn't need an ally, an army or police...we won't need best friends, guns or protection.

Stop forcing non-reality. It is nothing but a lie. You can't change a problem by forcing the reaction to that problem. You can't cure cancer by eliminating pain. You MUST fix the problem to make the symptom or reaction go away. Not the other way around. Or to put it yet another way...putting an ice pack on your facial bruises will not fix anything if you are still pounding your head against the wall.

reply to post by WeAreAWAKE

Liberals and Progressives are funny sometimes.....

This has nothing to do with 'Liberals and Progressives' and everything to do with just plain old stupid.

The vast majority of 'Liberals and Progressives' find this equally as stupid as those who aren't 'Liberals and Progressives'.

I'm sure if I have a look I'll be able to find some Conservative driven policy that is equally as dumb and stupid and I'm sure with a little bit of spin it could be misrepresented as typical of all Conservatives etc.

Why must everything and everyone be labelled, categorised and pigeon holed?

God, not another idiotic thread by foreigners who haven't learned what papers like the Sun are about

Some of you are shocked at the lack of outrage? These papers are like a kids comic, only taken seriously when read in Jeremy Kyles waiting room.

They have their own website with their own comments section and they get paid by advertisers with every hit. These stories exist to generate traffic from outraged chavs having their say

reply to post by waynos

It's true I don't live in the UK...but, regardless of the fact that you dislike the source, the article quotes several schools (Huffington Post and other papers are carrying this story, as well).

The bans have also been confirmed by the National Association of Head Teachers (see below):

"Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni saidthe policy has been used at schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey," the Sun's Harry Hawkins reported.
"I don't think it is widespread but it is clearly happening.
It seems bizarre," said Russell Hobby, of the National Association of Head Teachers, who confirmed the bans.

www.examiner.com...

really misguided

it's a part of life you have to learn, the pain teaches

reply to post by littled16


As opposed to what, encouraging them to become chauvinistic, self-centered asshats? Collectivism is a necessity for our species to thrive. We before Me, what is so awful about that?

Not to mention, collectivism has NOTHING to do with letting children make best friends...

reply to post by IAMTAT


Mate, all your sources lead back to the Sun article. Seems like everyone has picked up on the Suns story and version of events. Not saying it didn't happen. Not saying the Sun would ever lie or make up or embellish a story to stoke their readership.

reply to post by woodwardjnr

Understood. Yet the source did their due diligence to verify, credit and confirm. This constitutes a valid story...and one worth commenting (IMO).

Originally posted by IAMTAT
Honestly, I'm surprised at what is happening at schools in the UK lately. After hearing about and starting a thread about the recent banning of triangular flapjacks at a UK school www.abovetopsecret.com...), I thought nothing would surprise me.

I live in the US, and schools here have certainly been engaging in some ridiculous activity; the suspension of a boy for chewing his pop tart into the shape of a gun comes to mind.

But NOW we have THIS from, apparently many, schools in the UK...and it appears to be spreading:

UK schools ban children from making best friends

There was a girl in my primary school class who only lasted three days at high-school. All because her best friends had move to a different school.

But "best friends" are just usually the other kids who are in your year and happen to live in the homes nearest to your house.

Teachers in some UK schools are banning children from making best friends, The Sun reported earlier this week, in order to spare them the pain of losing a friend after a falling-out.

Instead, children are encouraged to play in large groups. "Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni said the policy has been used at schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey," the Sun's Harry Hawkins reported.

"I have noticed that teachers tell children they shouldn't have a best friend and that everyone should play together," she said. "They are doing it because they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend. But it is natural for some children to want a best friend. If they break up, they have to feel the pain because they're learning to deal with it," Sbuttoni added. "I don't think it is widespread but it is clearly happening.

It seems bizarre," said Russell Hobby, of the National Association of Head Teachers, who confirmed the bans.

www.examiner.com...

Really, it looks like these school administrators and teachers are going power-mad in their control over kids.
Am I alone in thinking this? This just seems crazy to me.

edit on 28-3-2013 by IAMTAT because: (no reason given)

edit on 28-3-2013 by IAMTAT because: link added

What crap this is.

The friend you most like to be around is your best friend. You only ever think about it when asked "who is your best friend", so stop asking!

Are they going to demand all friends to like each other exactly the same amount? Its like banning sneezing, it is what it is and you cant stop it - so stop wasting our tax money of frivolous #e like this!

Will they ban dogs in the uk next? Thats mans best friend!

reply to post by IAMTAT


I dont doubt its happened, it's just not the big deal it's is being depicted as. They might think they are banning best friends, the kids will just ignore them and all will soon be forgotten, just like all the other middle class moron ideas they churn out. There isnt any outrage because most people with common sense just shrug it off and carry on with their lives.

Well im going to ban anyone for thinking about elephants.....



What did i JUST say?!

you are expelled!

reply to post by Logos23


Affinity is what you mean. I think. I find it cute though infinity. hehe

Holy cow!!!!

That is insane, I hope the kids parents do NOT allow that practice to continue for very long.

Yes it's great to have many friends but there is something so special about having a best friend to share your hopes and dreams with, to talk about boys, to cry with. And yes it hurts when you fight, lose touch but that's part of life...learning to get past it and move on and make a new best friend.


This is WAY too much like the book Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. In it they teach everyone that they "belong to everyone else". Promiscuity is pushed onto them and at a very young age. Their friends are many but there best friends are ZERO. They do not love not anyone not even themselves.

Horrible just horrible. The UK government officials should be ashamed of themselves, disgusting just freaking disgusting.

That's one place i'll never visit crossed of my bucket list.

Originally posted by Freeborn
It's an isolated occurrence and won't spread because it's just plain stupid.

I'm sure I could trawl through the American rags, (The Sun is a disgrace of a 'newspaper' and is only good for horse racing, Striker and Page 3), and come up with some equally ridiculous article on PC driven schooling and try to portray it as representative of the US school system as a whole.

The Sun has it's own agenda which it pursue's with vigour at every opportunity.

This is not representative of 99% of schools in the UK and as such your thread title is misleading.

Amen to you for applying some common sense Freeborn, how on earth people are getting in such a moral outrage about something one teacher in one school has put forward is beyond me.

My daughter lives in Nottingham,she wants to home school to avoid these little programing sessions.Whoever thought Pink Floyd "the Wall" would get it right?

reply to post by cavtrooper7


All in all,

Just another brick in liberty's face