British humour

Originally posted by cody599
And lets not forget the classic

That one's going to be hard to beat.

When I went for my SIA licence a a few years back, the geezer who was running the course stuck this on.
We asked what it had to do with security and he said, ''nothing, it's just legendary!''

Best course I ever took.

reply to post by SilentE

Yeah but there is this

Stewart Lee is one of the best UK comedians. Very under rated because his humor is to deep for most. This is one of his more obvious jokes. Even Americans should find this funny.


Edit to add this one.

I think the lottery balls one is the funniest.

reply to post by CallYourBluff


You know I was looking forward to this thread for some much needed comedy (that I actually enjoy.) Instead I see allot of ignorance on your part.

Thick skin or not, if you cant leave aside the derogatory comments so everyone can enjoy something without getting on the defensive then fine by me. enjoy it, alone...little island people....

reply to post by tadaman


In deference to our American cousins
Just to show humour can travel the pond

Originally posted by tadaman
reply to post by CallYourBluff

 

You know I was looking forward to this thread for some much needed comedy (that I actually enjoy.) Instead I see allot of ignorance on your part.

Thick skin or not, if you cant leave aside the derogatory comments so everyone can enjoy something without getting on the defensive then fine by me. enjoy it, alone...little island people....

edit on 8-3-2013 by tadaman because: (no reason given)

I was just joking. Calm down. Some of my favorite comedians are American. Bill Burr for instance,is a fantastic comedian.Then again, I really don't care what you think. Please watch the Stewart Lee videos I posted. I truly hope you don't like them.

Originally posted by SilentE

Originally posted by Kody27
reply to post by cody599

 

The worst phucking god forsaken form of comedy on the planet, British comedy. these jokes are the worst man. jesus christ

Here's some to lighten your mood Kody27...

This will probably get me flamed!

*Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.

*How do you convince Americans to get involved in a war?
Tell them it's nearly finished.

*America: a country where people believe the moon landing is fake, but wrestling is real.

*So, X-rated websites have been given the approval to have the XXX domain name?
Surely this is going to confuse the Americans when they are shopping for clothes online.

*How does an American change a light bulb?
Holds it under the socket and expects the world to revolve around him

(All from sickipedia - The best freakin joke site in the WORLD!!)

Only having a laugh you guys

I welcome any jokes about us Brits. I love to laugh, even at my own expense.

edit on 8/3/2013 by SilentE because: (no reason given)

No flame from me very funny

life would be so much easier if we didn't all have to be P.C

reply to post by cody599


It's funny you posted that. Me and my boss were watching that on youtube only a few weeks ago.

Originally posted by SilentE
reply to post by cody599

 

It's funny you posted that. Me and my boss were watching that on youtube only a few weeks ago.

Wanna swap jobs ?

This should be titled "Some British humour although from the 70's and from Bernard Manning's joke book and certainly not a representation of actual British Humour"

Many are just stupid and old, from a bye gone time of "my wife" jokes and "race/immigrant" jokes.


Just lame.


Most Americans and others who have any taste already know what decent British Humour is, and it's pretty far from what is listed in the OP.

Originally posted by blupblup


This should be titled "Some British humour although from the 70's and from Bernard Manning's joke book and certainly not a representation of actual British Humour"

Many are just stupid and old, from a bye gone time of "my wife" jokes and "race/immigrant" jokes.


Just lame.


Most Americans and others who have any taste already know what decent British Humour is, and it's pretty far from what is listed in the OP.

edit on 8/3/13 by blupblup because: (no reason given)

edit on 8/3/13 by blupblup because: (no reason given)

If you don't like it don't read it.
Some of us are just having a laugh

The official list is a vast improvement but still not a broad spectrum.... but some of these are actually funny at least.

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

2. “I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shltzu.”

3. “Dyslexic man walks into a bra.”

4. A young blond woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blond responds to the husband, “Shut up…you’re next!”

5. A classic Tommy Cooper gag: “I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

6. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

7. Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.

8. Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’ I asked. ‘It’s not unusual,’ he replied.

9. “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

10. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”

reply to post by blupblup

As I said earlier
It's all subjective Tommy Coopers is very 70's and not that funny
I think you just unproved your first post

reply to post by cody599




Well sure, it's subjective.

I just posted similar jokes to you.... 70's, dated and lame.
Yet at least a couple of those were funny.

I'm not going to trawl the net for all the Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle, Bill Bailey, Eddie Izzard, Ricky Gervais and all others I can't be arsed to list, just to post here.

Cool.... humour is humour, we all like different stuff.


But your OP that those jokes are great British Humour... is actually kind of embarrassing... they're not great jokes, they're old, lame jokes.

Times have changed....comedy has changed.

All of those (as well as mine I posted) are sunday afternoon with your granny jokes... obviously ATS permits any actual good, adult jokes so I understand the limitations.

I will leave you to your thread.

Enjoy.


ETA:

I also agree sickipedia is hilarious and has some great jokes.

Originally posted by blupblup
reply to post by cody599

 

Well sure, it's subjective.

I just posted similar jokes to you.... 70's, dated and lame.
Yet at least a couple of those were funny.

I'm not going to trawl the net for all the Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle, Bill Bailey, Eddie Izzard, Ricky Gervais and all others I can't be arsed to list, just to post here.

Cool.... humour is humour, we all like different stuff.


But your OP that those jokes are great British Humour... is actually kind of embarrassing... they're not great jokes, they're old, lame jokes.

Times have changed....comedy has changed.

All of those (as well as mine I posted) are sunday afternoon with your granny jokes... obviously ATS permits any actual good, adult jokes so I understand the limitations.

I will leave you to your thread.

Enjoy.


ETA:

I also agree sickipedia is hilarious and has some great jokes.

edit on 8/3/13 by blupblup because: (no reason given)

Shame
The OP does state that those jokes were received from my dad

It's really hit or miss for me with British humor.

I like the Grahm Norton show and Top Gear...but I don't like Mr. Bean or that Eddie Izzard guy. I'm all over the map, I know!

Some of the funniest moments with British humor are just Brits being Brits. They don't even have to try to be funny, their wit and sarcasm alone (and the accent) crack me up.

Question to UK folk...to me it sounds like Adele might not come from one of the nicer places in England...did I nail that? I'm basing that off her accent...it sounds rather "blue collar" if you know what I mean?

The British are renowned for seeing humour in any given situation and have the ability to take the piss out of themselves as well as others - attributes that seem by and large lacking in this thread.

Also heres a pretty twisted compilation of british humour www.youtube.com...

Heres a great up and coming uk comedian called nathan caton, definatly one to watch

I cant embed for some reason but heres the link, well worth a watch

www.youtube.com...