The Fallout (my apocalypse story) Input, guys?

This story will be a manga. I've posted my ideas for it on ATS a couple times before, but I always seem to have trouble sustaining my ideas and keeping the story stable. I think I've gotten it a little more figured out now.

I like to ask for ideas on ATS, because generally, you all come up with some pretty creative stuff. For example, my other manga, those of you who saw it, Viator, was helped by a couple ATS members. The time traveling machine in that story, the Viator, was an idea by an ATS member, who suggested I make the time machine out of a space shuttle. I liked that Idea, so I ran with it.

ANY way, Let me explain the basis for this story. It will be a very deep, profound story, with moral conflicts and character's personality clashes. There will be serious situations of survival, but also some fun and happy moments when the characters are all "doing" well.

Sandra - The center character. The rule-breaking conspiracy theorist, who thinks everyone around her is an ignorant sheep. She's a curvy chick, your regular goth/punk/delinquent in high school, who has some pretty deep anger issues, and gives everyone the cold shoulder. Her only family is her uncle. After the SHTF, she becomes the unexpected leader of the little rag-tag group of survivors she forms.

Alan - The introverted genius. He's fairly anti-social, and, when it comes to school, he's Sandra's opposite. He always stays on top of his school work, and he has some deep interests in science. He also tends to give everyone the cold shoulder, but in a different way than Sandra. Alan and Sandra are the only characters in the story who know one another in the beginning. Alan seems to frown upon any rule breaking, or any ignorant rough housing behavior at all (like most people his age partake in), but nevertheless, he still seems to like Sandra's company, because the two of them, both anti-social to the others in the school and generally regularly harassed by them, have a kinship. The two of them bicker now and then, due to differing views, but Sandra has made a habit of protecting Alan, and she doesn't even realize it.

Luna - A young middle schooler they come across later, after SHTF. Extremely shy and soft spoken, she often doubts she can be of any use to her new group, but she tries her best. Sandra, who is new to having friends (especially friends who are girls), doesn't know what to think of Luna at first. Luna is a cute "girly" girl, very petite, very different from Sandra, so, naturally, Sandra has a vast amount of mixed feelings towards her. Luna grows much closer to Alan later in the story, empathizing with him, because both of them sometimes feel a bit useless in their efforts to survive doomsday.

James - A little firecracker five year old who Sandra finds riding a big wheel around in the forest, waiting for his father after the SHTF (his father was killed, but he doesn't know it. Sandra watched it happen). James is a very bright little kid, very adventurous and high spirited, and rarely cries. He often explains new ways to "beat the bad guys" often referencing video games, like Call of Duty Black Opps, or games he used to play with his father. After Sandra "adopts" James, James starts referring to Sandra as his "wife," and clings to her.

These are the main characters I have so far, but I'm missing one. I need a protagonist male character to be a fighter, but not really have TOO hard and mean of a personality (like Inuyasha, Sasuke, etc). I don't like asshole characters. He's going to wear some home-made black armor, and he's equipped with a shotgun. I wanted him to have a personality like the companion Raul, from Fallout New Vegas.

There's also a character called Adrian, an eccentric doomsday prepper, who is Sandra's uncle, but I didn't draw him out on this one. After the SHTF, the story revolves around Sandra trying to find her uncle.




A rough sketch I drew of these characters. See the blank body shape? That's where my question mark character will go.

Basically, the reason I posted this is to get a little feedback on my ideas, and also, I REALLY need ideas for my protagonist guy. He's going to have a very loyal, and only slightly sarcastic personality, and he's going to be somewhat of a love interest for Sandra. The reason I'm having trouble is because, every time I draw a character idea, he looks too "plain" if that makes any sense. Looks too much like every other protagonist male character out there.

Does anyone have any character ideas for him? Looks? Back story?

Here's the general setting;

Fallout. During school, Sandra and Alan are chilling, eating lunch, when suddenly, a teacher scolds Sandra for something, and she storms off. Alan watches her leave, dismissing her behavior as her usual childish anger. Still, after the bell rings, he's off to class, thinking about his test, when he spots Sandra going into the basement of the school. Alan, who walked past the basement, intent not to bother himself with her problems, for some reason, stopped. He decided to venture into the basement after her, doing a rare, selfless act.

The next thing anyone knew, everything had gone to hell. Sandra awoke from her nap in the basement, after having a bizarre dream, only to find the stairs blocked by debris and rubble, leaving only a small hole as an exit. She climbed over the chunks of foundation and reached the outside, only to find the destroyed remains of her school, which had been obliterated from right above her. Her town was empty, and half-destroyed. Her mind became boggled, and she began to think she was dreaming. After hearing a very faint voice--a familiar one--she approached the rubble covering the basement stairs. She dug through the rubble until she located a battered and injured Alan, out cold, then pulled him from the debris.

The two of them fight through the town, then they finally reach Sandra's house, only to find that, while the house is still in tact, her uncle had vanished. She then searches her uncle's doomsday bunker, which is also unoccupied.

The nation had gone to war, pre-orchestrated war designed to cut down the population in America, and in all other countries. The third world war had finally begun, and Sandra's conspiracies had become more than just a paranoid fantasy painted up by the online videos of martial law and her conspirator forum websites.

Along the way, they meet the other main characters, along with some others, and their journey to survive and find Sandra's uncle pursues as they encounter different surviving societies and religions, and they avoid the bombs and "under attack" areas, until the different militaries and governments finally begin to clash and exterminate one another, leaving only the scrounging survivors to govern themselves.

Ideas, guys?

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


What ideas are you looking for?

You have a solid plot line, good characters, why not let your characters write the story.

Nice job, by the way.

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

What ideas are you looking for?

You have a solid plot line, good characters, why not let your characters write the story.

Nice job, by the way.

Thank ya

I'm mainly looking for ideas for my last male protagonist character, but also general ideas for what could happen to them throughout the story. I already have some things figured out, but I like to use others' ideas too.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


You're a brave soul, putting it out there.

I'm working on my own Magnum Opus. I can appreciate your efforts!

About your armour wearing, shotgun toting fella... Howabout making him an extreme sports fan, and paintballing champion for his age group? That would give him the physical capacity to perform the manly stuff, without insisting he be a total jock butthead, while giving him a reason to be the one packing a powerful weapon, being expirienced with hitting moving targets. The armour could be his paintball gear with a layer of scratch built plate over the plastic armour.

Just a thought?

Originally posted by TrueBrit
About your armour wearing, shotgun toting fella... Howabout making him an extreme sports fan, and paintballing champion for his age group? That would give him the physical capacity to perform the manly stuff, without insisting he be a total jock butthead, while giving him a reason to be the one packing a powerful weapon, being expirienced with hitting moving targets. The armour could be his paintball gear with a layer of scratch built plate over the plastic armour.

Just a thought?

Kool thought

I'll definitely use that as a character scheme, but I think I have my protagonist figured out.

Thanks very much for your input

I've made my character;

Abel - The kind and mysterious stranger. Abel and Sandra have quite a chemistry, empathizing with one another greatly, because they've both been in situations that forced them to be the "strong" one. Abel is the heir to a very wealthy and powerful family, and his family taught him to use many types of guns, not because he wanted to shoot them, but merely for his personal protection, because his family was often targeted by questionable parties. So, despite his young age and kind nature, he's a hell of a gunslinger. Despite this, after the bombs fell, he lost his family and wealth, along with his memory, leaving him stranded and burned alone in the new, broken world. A section of Abel's face, neck, and hand are all severely burned from his exposure to the bombs. After he joins with Sandra and her people, he is a very much accepted and trusted member of the group, though he always keeps hold of a certain mysterious quality, sometime staring off into space, seeming to be in thought, and perhaps trying to remember his traumatic memories long forgotten.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


No worries. I am a fan of Post Apocalyptic themed stories, and also a massive fan of Manga, and Manga films. You ever hear of Desert Punk? Check it out if not, its the good stuff lol.

Really eagre to see what you come up with, and I loved your sketch style, so I cannot wait to see what you have!

Double post..sorry

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


I've seen a couple of your stories. I always wanted more, but it seems you, like me get caught up in the minutia which in my case, leads to writers block. But unlike me, you have taken it a step further and are illustrating the story as well. I will admit to admiring you for that. (Using the Yoda voice…”The Manga is strong in this one.” )

Just as a idea, maybe you should have the Uncle as a disillusioned Vet who is searching for family as well. Two different story arcs that come together, along with the personal conflict that follows.

Keep up the good work.