"Spiritual" experiences and heightened "states" of consciousness.

I am just going to put it out there for interpretation and open but mature discussion.

I have been an agnostic my entire life, some times leaning towards aethism and other times leaning towards spiritualism or "God-is-real-but-I-am-not-following-a-specific-religionism".

About 4 weeks ago, in the beginning of February I was at an all time low emotionally (reason being irrelevant but it had nothing to do with foreign substances) and I intended to end the suffering by committing suicide.
I am not ashamed of admitting this for it is simply the truth and however personal it may seem it is required to be stated in order for the point to be percieved in the light of truth of the experience I had.

The day before I intended to do the unthinkable I found no other alternative than to pray one first and last time to God as I supposed that if he/she existed he/she would be all knowing and hear me and hopefully give me some answers or show me a sign if he/she in fact was real.

And so I prayed while imagining that God could hear me crying out into the empty space before me for a long time in frustration and desperation until I ended the prayer by looking up at the ceiling and furiously demanding he/she show me a sign or I would end all of this the following day.

I kept my eyes peeled at the ceiling waiting for something to happen and, whether or not it was my imagination playing tricks on me or not, I percieved my surrounding becoming brighter.
I questioned my mind and told my self that logically explained this is because my eyes were adapting to the paleness of the ceiling but the fact remained that I had been staring at the same spot for quite some time so the experience seemed unusual and so I kept looking at the same spot awaiting whatever could happen.
The room in which I sat appeared to become covered in a white light that steadily increased in brighteness until all I could see was the white light and I couldn't believe what I was experiencing.

I was in a state of chock but didn't feel any kind of discomfort. Quite the opposite actually and I was so shaken by the occurring event that my jaw dropped and I began hyperventilating.

I kept staring for a brief moment until I closed my eyes, turned my head away from the ceiling and carefully opened them again.
Still in chock and utter confusion I said outloud; "what the he.. What the fu.. Oh my God" for I could not believe what had just happened and I sat there hyperventilating heavily until I almost passed out and I came to my senses and tried to calm myself down and reflect upon the event.

I ignored the sensation of being encompassed in a light "fog" of love and comfort and decided to go by the theory that it had just been my eyes adapting to the bright color of the ceiling and my imagination running wild and I didn't think much of it during the days that followed. But I couldn't get the experience out of my mind.

Now, since then several "spiritual" events have happened in my every day life and I have suddenly gone from being talented in terms of writing and arguably relatively intelligent to being much better when I write and have had several "revelations of truth" as if I had reached a heightened state of awareness or consciousness.

It got to a point where I was so absorbed by the experiences I had that I had to question my sanity and evidently, others also noticed the radical change in my perspective of reality and in my behavioural patterns.
Some told me I spoke like a buddhist or hindu monk etcetera and I had a great feeling of being complete.
I had no sense of doubt and sadness at all and probably looked as if I had smoked one too many joints or sniffed one too many lines, but that wasn't the case at all. I was completely sober, however, I did experience a subtle pressure by my temples and behind my eyes as well as a buzzing sensation around the center of my brain.
I suppose this was my pineal gland emitting '___' into my system but I had never imagined that such an occurence would cause me to have great insight, reach higher skill levels of writing and have a total sense of peace of mind.

I write this because I couldn't avoid thinking it may have something to do with the supposed shift that was about to take place after the end of 2012 and I wonder if anyone else have had experiences like this before, following the ending of the previous year or is experiencing something similar right now?

Kind regards to all of you and I hope some of you at least find this interesting or even thought provoking.

Sorry to hear that you got to that point. I would tend to agree with your assessment, simply because it is your assessment of your experience and it makes sense. Drunvalo Mechizedek actually talks about himself being a "walk-in" and that when a person is truly at the end of their rope a spirit will "walk in" to, as I understand it, more or less take a persons place. I mention it for further research for your own understanding, but again, I think you got a jolt of pineal juice and it awakened you to a whole new perspective.

reply to post by ABeing


I know you didn't ask for advice, but as a friend I would suggest you stop mulling over the experience and accept that the intellect is severely limited as a cognitive organ.

If you persist in analyzing the experience (and I know how seductive that is), I can guarantee you, your intellect eventually WILL convince you that it was all an illusion or hallucination or whatever - in other words, not "real".
That's what the intellect does with every thing and anything that it does not comprehend.
It will keep you doubting, thereby depriving you of life-enhancing experiences, while providing no real answers itself. Because it can't.

Try to just stay aware of its limitations and accept that there are many, many things we simply don't know.
It's perfectly all right not to know.

Oh, and based on the title of your post I would imagine you would enjoy reading Colin Wilson and the authors he researched.

reply to post by AdAstra


*I am happy to announce that I am quite fine now emotionally speaking, in case the post reads like I am sad which I definitely am not. :-)*

Thanks for the reply and friendly advice. I appreciate it, however, since that event I have repeatedly experienced events similar to this and other rather odd but amazing experiences. At first I tried to understand the nature of the phenomena by explaining it with conventional science but when keeping the odds of these miraculous occurrances in mind it was convincing enough for me so now I am just enjoying the ride.

The '___' overflow sensation was quite incredible though. Never would have thought a natural high like that could come out of a little gland. The fact that it opens up once consciousness makes it even better :-)

reply to post by ABeing


When one gives up God is what is left.
I was at the point of suicide and could not do it so I just let go. I resigned myself to just 'attending' and everything changed.
All the while you are doing life - it will hurt.
Stop doing life and just be.

Life is just happening and I don't have to do it - what a relief.

I have experienced things like this before.

When you truly give up and surrender, and loose all expectations, ultimately to yourself, not 'God', you somewhat pass the test. You get bathed in light, pure consciousness. Or in other words, you had a kundalini awakening.
This experience happens from extreme trauma or utter devotion to spiritual practices.
Once this has occurred you have a more direct link to your higher self. You can have all knowledge flow through you from spirit and you feel at peace (the feeling you described).

I have had 'spiritual experiences' or borderline 'psychotic episodes' the things that were revealed to me makes me 101% sure there lived a person who was the 'sun of god' Jesus the Christ. The last time it happened for a week long, I was propelled to utter the words 'no more psychological warfare' around 4-5 hours later I popped online to find out Egyptian protesters were chanting out 'no more psychological warfare' I stayed calm because there was alot more than that revealed to me over the last16 years. God is real, but don't ever expect to 'figure it out' for it we bill wasted energy. Give praise.

Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 1 Corinthians 1:22-23

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29

A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah." Jesus then left them and went away. Matthew 16:4

@WhoKnows100 Respect to you. Respect to you. Nice post. God knows who the real faith-seekers are from the maniacs. #Truth (It is there, but is guarded). #Eat #Survive

In all honesty, having been an agnostic and basically a non believer in any kind of spiritual phenomena albeit I have always found it thought provoking; this experience changed my life and perception of reality completely and despite a lot of people saying that the spirit world does not make sense, once one consider the reality of spirituality, the physical world makes even more sense all of a sudden.
It made me consider the meaning of life and what the purpose of evolution was and I concluded that indeed, there is a point to it all. A profound wisdom behind existence itself and in the face of this truth, I was overwhelmed by sensations of gratitude and appreciation.

I got to a point when I felt, and I still feel, as if all that I have gone through and all that is happening has happened for a reason. Almost as if I have been walking upon a path, already planned so that I would see and experience great injustice, anxiety, fear and darkness in order to appreciate the important things in life, such a love, relationship, justice, kindness and harmony. This is my belief and I am deeply grateful for my existence and all the experiences that I have had over the years and it reflects in my behavior nowadays. I am thankful for all experiences I have and appreciate everyone I speak to and their thoughts on life.
There is a lesson to be learned in every experience. Makes life enlightening and worth paying attention to :-)

Hey Abeing, I am very glad that you had such a wonderful spiritual experience. I have read about many such experiences and they all sound very similar. Some people have called it a "White Light Realm Experience".

I read a thread on a Buddhist forum a while back that sounded very similar to what you experienced.

Here is the link, I hope this helps:
www.dharmawheel.net...

reply to post by ABeing


The experience you describe sounds very similar to what I have been experiencing. I too was at a low point you could say. I would describe myself then as "falling back asleep," so to speak. Fortunately, some circumstances in my life led me to some revelations that launched my mind into space. Suddenly everything came together all at once, I was cleared of all this confusion that I had. It was like I leveled up, or was upgraded. My thoughts were very clear and fluid.

I started practicing sacred geometry and began having visions of complex patterns as well as other imagery. I began writing down my thoughts and found that I was answering any question that came to mind without an explanation for how I obtained it.

I've felt before like maybe I'm losing my mind as I'm not a superstitious person, or one that justifies everything with god or magic, but the more I try to deny it, the more convinced I become that fact is indeed stranger than fiction. It's all of the things that buddhist monks have been saying all along: Oneness, duality, vibration, etc.

I first began having these experiences back in November of 2012. It was before the famous "12/21/12" date, however what I have gathered is that this "shift" takes place on an individual level so different people will experience a shift at different times, 2012 was simply a reference point.

This shift is also not what many thought it would be. It's not an instant transition into the 5th dimension or anything outrageous like that, but it's simply a shift of awareness, a shift of perception or perspective and that is exactly what I have experienced as I can see you have too.

If this is what insanity feels like then I'm not sure I want to be sane as I've never felt this amazing in this life. I was at my job the other day, which is retail so it's not very conducive to positive energy and all of a sudden I felt this surge of energy, this intense feeling of euphoria. The phrase, "You are becoming more sensitive to the energies," kept going through my mind.

Anyways, these and many more experiences are what brought me to this site. It's my only current outlet for this subject matter.

Okay, I will admit that I was looking for a thread to post this on and I hope I'm not intruding into a conversation where my reply is not really relevant. I don't have enough posts yet to start my own thread.

To let you know before I begin, I'm having a really bad day. Here it is.

At what point do believers in God and spiritually conscious people just say STOP ALREADY? I've tried to be a good person all my life. Actually I don't even think its been an effort, perhaps I was just born this way. I do my best to do right by people and treat others the way I would like to be treated. I grew up and still live in the South where there are churches everywhere and I was expected to attend or have a good reason not to but I decided early on that they weren't for me. I didn't share many of the same beliefs, well mostly it was the dogmas that I had a problem with.

I'd say around the beginning of 2011 is when I "awakened" to the possibility that there may actually be something more to life than BS that we see on the news everyday. It was nothing that happened to me personally, I just started reading more into spirituality and it clicked with me. But as we all know well enough, just being "awakened" isn't going to make your life wonderful. In many ways it may have made it harder. But I kept pushing through. Every bad thing that happened might have upset me but I got better at thinking that maybe there is a reason and things will work out in the end.

Now, I realize that it may not be "the end" but nothing changes, nothing is getting better. How long can I go on believing in something better if I never witness it? I don't even know anyone who HAS witnessed it. By "it" I mean some type of revelation or SOMETHING to say "you are on the right path" or "keep it up". Is it too much to ask? We're expected to struggle through all of this everyday with nothing but a faint shred of hope?

Day after day I'm here, caring for my kids, caring for my house and living paycheck to paycheck (barely). And of course I know I'm not the only one. But then I see my neighbors down the road who treat everyone like crap and who believe in nothing but yet can fall into a pile of manure and come out smelling like roses. What gives?

While its true that financial troubles are causing my bad day (or bad lifetime as it were) but even so I don't want to be rich. I just want to be able to feed my family and not worry about the electric being turned off every month. There is so much negativity in this world that I don't know how much longer I can go on believing. At what point do you give up? At what point do you say "if there really are beings here helping me that I can't see, then freaking show yourself or stay out of my head". No, I'm not saying that I hear people in my head, I'm just saying that MY logical mind keeps arguing with me against throwing in the towel and its p***ing me off.

Why not just play the game like all the other sheeple in the world? They seem to be much happier. All I want is peace, how do I go back to being a sheeple because I'm tired of this?

Also, to add something that I'm sure IS relevant to this post, I'm truly glad that the OP has finally found his revelation. But I have been there too and there was no feelings of light or anything to help me back up. I'm sure that there are many others like me as well. I have (in the past) cried and prayed and been desperate. Even so the only thing that's pulled me through it is myself, and now that I have them, my kids. When do I just say STOP? Where the hell is MY revelation?

Sorry for the rant,


Mendy

reply to post by mendy


Your post is completely relevant Mendy and I understand your frustration and can definitely imagine that hope is ever fading when you do your very best to be just whilst being treated unjust repeatedly.

Before going into further discussion, I wish you all the best and kind regards and hope that things get better for you and your family.

Now, if I imagine myself being in a situation like yours I imagine that I would be burdened by the cold truth of the reality surrounding you. Admittedly, these revelations and spiritual experiences does not affect the outside world but I am grateful for having them for at least they have changed my perspective and given me a spark of hope inside simply because if I had this experience, perhaps others will too sooner or later.
However, I cannot live with myself if I do not attempt to do anything about the reality show I am cast in.
I do not intend to stand in the city central with a megaphone and tell people to wake up (...not yet at least but who knows?) but I will however write down my experiences for people to read about them and reflect upon the nature of the phenomenon. At least it may open up their minds for the possibility of a better reality slightly.
The more I write about my thoughts and experiences; the more I notice people all around the would share my opinions and that is somewhat comforting at least.

I am not waiting for salvation by the return of Christ, intervenience of extra-terrestrials, natural disaster or a global political change of heart. I simply acknowledge that I have had this experience and accept that it is my true reality and I intend to speak openly about it, knowing it may very well give people a new perspective on both society and life. I get by so I don't live under the same kind of anxiety as you do but I see the storm brewing on the horizon too.

I wish there was something I could tell you to raise your hopes up but I realize words do not amount to nothing. Actions do. However, I hope you can simply look at the outside world and be disappointed but find comfort in knowing that at least you are trying to make it better as well as you possibly can.

Pray things will change Mendy and never stop loving. There is always something to love, isn't there?

Love

reply to post by ABeing


Lest there is some (more) misunderstanding, I didn't think you were sad or in any way emotionlly in need of support.
I simply know very well how the intellect works.
I know its traps and the enormous damage it can do when allowed to process tasks it simply isn't equipped to do.

(Of course I am not implying that you or anyone else doesn't. I am simply clarifying the reason for my earlier post.)

reply to post by ABeing


I'm sure my post didn't sound this way but reading about experiences like yours is the only spark of hope that I have left. Its only in these times of extreme frustration that I think "where's mine?"

And yes, there is always something to love. Although it can be easy to forget in the day-to-day chaos that is my life.

Thank you for your kind response.

I have (in the past) cried and prayed and been desperate. Even so the only thing that's pulled me through it is myself, and now that I have them, my kids.

Where did you expect the help would come from?
You HAD all the help you needed, or you wouldn't have pulled through.

I am not saying this out of "coldness", quite the opposite. For what it's worth, I think it is a beautiful post, and like the OP, I believe it is a very relevant and worthwhile post that many can relate to.

If it helps you, always remember that life is NOT what it seems to be, and that there are many factors we have no clue about. I know that doesn't make the circumstances any easier, but it IS the truth.

For example, there is an ancient belief, shared by various religious and other spiritual systems, that all the good - the constructive things you do towards the betterment of yourself and of the world in general (which can be either physically or spiritually, by spreading joy and light) - leads to an accumulation of Light, which is the most powerful force in the Universe. But here's the rub: you only accumulate Light in proportion to what hasn't been "repaid" in one way or another here, in the physical world.
In other words - to put it VERY simplistically- if you do or think something good and you are "repaid" here and now - by other people's kindness or a piece of "luck" or whatever - your share of the Light will be proportionally lesser. If your kind deeds, words or thoughts are not "repaid" here and now, your share of the Light will be much greater.

It may sound like hogwash to some. But that's because our world has been ruled by an unfortunate marriage of base instincts and pure intellect for the past 200 + years.

Just remember: the world is not necessarily what it seems.
I certainly hope you and your loved ones get to live a happy and fulfilled life.

reply to post by AdAstra


Well spoken AdAstra, indeed it is impossible for anyone to completely understand the mechanics of the Universe as it is a profound mystery in itself, ultimately leading thoughts towards the phenomenon of infinity where and when it is impossible to find a source of everything. Infinity simply is infinite, which is the ultimate truth and miracle of life; that one cannot explain how it all came to be yet here we are conscious of our own existence and capable of thought, action and emotion.

Existence is such a beautiful experience when faced with the reality of infinity that it touches the very core of my being to the point where I am so grateful to be allowed to be that it brings immense joy and an overwhelming sensation of bliss to me and I nearly burst into tears.

To be able to give and recieve love and touch another being both physically and emotionally is nothing short of a miracle and if that wasn't enough, one day I may look into the eyes of a new being, to which I was blessed to give life.
In the face of this awesome wonder, as close to the definition of divinity one can be, I can only love and appreciate.

My kindest regards to you too AsAdra. Be loved and love and blessed you are simply by being you, a living, breathing, conscious evidence of the miracle of life itself.

reply to post by AdAstra


Hi AdAstra. I suppose, being raised I was, I expected God or Jesus or some type of spiritual being to help. I've always heard that if you ask for help then you will get it. At the time, I thought I was truly at the end of my rope. Now I can look back and appreciate those experiences for what they were, learning experiences. Its just that sometimes I forget about all that when things get really bad.

The fact is, whether I like it or not, I DO still believe that everything happens exactly as it should. Its just that sometimes I wonder if I am trying too hard or expecting too much. No matter what I do (or think that I WANT to do), I know that I can never be like those who look out only for themselves. The ones who would do anything to anyone as long as they received some benefit from it.

I also know that I could never NOT believe in a higher power even though sometimes I think it would be easier. Its just not in me to think or act that way.

Maybe it is all about expectation. I expect that I will be able deal with bad things when they come up in loving and spiritual way but the truth is, I can't always do that, and that makes me disappointed in myself. And so I get in a bad mood and think to hell with it all.

I do want to add that you made some relevant points. But I think its very unfortunate that we have to go through so much suffering here on the "hope" that things will be better "over there". I guess I'm just saying that it would be nice to have some confirmation, some glimpse of it so we know what we're working for. Because it most definitely is work to try to keep a positive outlook in a world such as this.

Mendy

reply to post by ABeing


Thank you very much for that beautiful post, ABeing.
The last part, especially, is something we all need to hear from others, again and again, no matter how eagerly we try to live it. :-)
So thank you for that, too, and the best to you!


BTW, if you haven't read Colin Wilson already, you might be interested in what he calls "Faculty X".
He has loads of well researched anecdotal evidence.
It is not limited to the type of experience you were lucky to have, but I think anyone interested in this topic might find it interesting.