Why automatic doors are causing the downfall of western civ.

What is wrong with American society today? Simple: Automatic Doors. You’ve seen them on the Starship Enterprise as well as your local Walmart. But they are the cause of our ruination and downfall. They bring nothing but arrogance and uppityness.

You see, there was a time I lived in a small town that was next to a larger, but still small town. In this mini metropolis was a very unassuming store. You know the kind. The one that has held a number of different dreams of million dollar ideas only to become a 99 cent store. Yes that one.

It was at the entrance of this store where once was a fully operational automatic door. In its prime it would almost say ‘Oh, hello there. Please do come in’, and in a grand and triumphful manner open itself as if you were of the highest royalty. We then would proceed through the ingress without thought for the lowly door providing its expected service.

Then, during a changing of dreams, the door became nonfunctional. It was almost as if it turned its back upon those who stood before it. Yet those who did stand before the door were all like “Why did this door not open for me? Am I not high royalty? Should not this be done for me as I am so special?”. They would hesitate and then open the door themselves and be ever slightly annoyed that they had to actually do something on their own.

So now we have this belief that we are soooo special that even the doors should move out of the way before us. And if doors should behave in this manner, should not all aspects of our lives be this way? That driver who is travelling 2 mph slower than us, do they not know who I am? Or that person who believes differently than I, do they not know I have a superior thought process?

And this my friends is why automatic doors, and not guns, should be banned.

[edit] Coming soon: Why we need to reintroduce bears into daily living.

Brilliantly observed, and very true.

Looking forward to your post about bears. I think I see where you are going with that one :-)

reply to post by ObservingTheWorld


Sounds like you are just mad cause you walked into a door.
Seriously though,Iget what your laying down.

I don't understand why ALL DOORS don't open themselves upon my arrival. These doors should also play triumphant music when I walk through them. Nothing to fancy, but some horn fanfare would be acceptable.

Am I the only one that says, "I have arrived!" as they walk in the front door of their house every day?

I've never encountered an establishment that had automated doors that did not also have a manual door. Me, I appreciate automated doors; that way I don't have to touch germ ridden handles to enter the establishment.

I've also noticed most people when they do open non automatic doors, they only do so for themselves! When I open a heavy glass and metal door and see anybody walking towards the door within 5 seconds of me making contact, there is no way I am not going to hold that door open so that it everyone else can get in without it closing in their face or them having to grab it as it's closing. Most people aren't too friendly, but old ladies will always appreciate you taking the 10 seconds to let them in when you're both going the same way.

Originally posted by ObservingTheWorld
[edit] Coming soon: Why we need to reintroduce bears into daily living.

It has long been my dream to breed domesticated bears for fun and profit.

But yeah I think that our society is suffering from moral rot and it will continue to get worse until bad things happen and maybe then things will get better for a time.

reply to post by Mkoll


Have you ever been very close to a bear? They don't smell very good

The doors most of us hate the most are the ones that slam shut on our butt behind us...

Originally posted by LizardSlicks
I've also noticed most people when they do open non automatic doors, they only do so for themselves! When I open a heavy glass and metal door and see anybody walking towards the door within 5 seconds of me making contact, there is no way I am not going to hold that door open so that it everyone else can get in without it closing in their face or them having to grab it as it's closing. Most people aren't too friendly, but old ladies will always appreciate you taking the 10 seconds to let them in when you're both going the same way.

And that is why automatic doors are bad. They use to provide a nice courteous social interaction back in the days when people actually held the door for each other. In other words the automatic door is the door to Hell.

reply to post by sligtlyskeptical


Yes, lol! This and other things like it lead to a cold, automated society that only cares for itself and what is in its immediate front viewing space.

nice post!
i actually smile at automatic doors as i approach them and often say a cheery thank you to them too as i walk through - it may save my life one day when the machines actually take over, and contrary to it's new protocols, my old friend permits me entry to the ruined supermarket to hide and eat mouldy grub

do you get travellators inbetween floors in your supermarkets, so your magnetic wheeled trolleys stick to them as you are conveyed at slug like velocities to your destination? i used to worry about these being an invitation to dalek invasion before my mrs informed me that they now had hover jets. and stairs used to be such a comfort to me

regardless, i feel that my jovial relationship with automatic doors is darn good sense. for the sake of your lives i suggest you all follow my lead.

ETA: i totally starred and flagged you, now can you do that thread about the bears please?

Originally posted by redoubt
The doors most of us hate the most are the ones that slam shut on our butt behind us...

I don't know...I'm always skeptical of those revolving doors. It's like when I was a child playing jump-rope on the playground.....gotta time it just right or else you might get tripped up and take a fall.....or maybe the thing locks up in mid-circulation and I get stuck in no mans land (not quite outside, yet not quite inside)...what if it goes too fast and I cant get out once I am in that contraption. It's madness I tell; madness!!!

Excellent Observation!

I always thank automatic doors.

What would happen if they turned all the doors off ?

Lockdown!

Everyone in cities would be trapped!

Anyway,

It's much better for society when people open doors for each other.

:shk:

I thought you were going to lament the thousands of lost doorman jobs.

An opportunity missed perhaps?

Do escalators next I think they even have a death toll.

Most places I go to with automatic doors would previously just have wide open doors apart from office buildings perhaps and one or two other places. Stops people walking up to a closed door and not realizing the place is closed usually. Either door opens or door is already open ... or place is closed.

I guess the only thing I feel about that is opening doors for people was often nice way to say 'oh hai, you're nice thanks' and vice versa. I find most persons are untrusting of strangers as standard now. One place I work at ... we don't let people in unless they have ID card for example. I let one person in last year using my card ... seen them piles of times - friends now but is interesting how many times we walk past each other and never say anything.

reply to post by ObservingTheWorld


We've lost the ability to open doors for women.

(sexist? maybe. But true.)

reply to post by beezzer


One could always hold a door open for someone just behind you, then it's just considerate.

I must admit, I was brought up to hold doors open for ladies - I have never been directly accused of sexism while doing it though I would certainly be able to politely rebuff such an accusation. Plenty of times people have not made the slightest acknowledgement of my polite behaviour, sometimes it does make one a tad wiffy when this happens which is a touch ungracious of me and some times leads to me going "thanks" in a squeeky voice for them. That always cheers me right back up and hopefully makes my opposite nmber feel a bit silly.
Anyway, auto doors, possibly destroying gentlemanly behaviour as well as ruining the rest of civilisation too. Damn their eyes!