Online psychological profiling possible?

Heya everyone.

Okay, so I'm in a committed relationship with my current girlfriend who I honestly believe is my last chance on ever becoming happy again in this life.

First off, if anyone responds to this thread, please do not quote me as I'll most likely be deleting my post at some point.

Anyway, the best way to describe her is that she reminds me of Mandy Moore in the movie A Walk to Remember..... Beautiful, still a virgin, the clothes she wears, even the same hair style.

I'm so lucky to have found this girl.

But there's something a little off with her.

She is 34 years old and has never left her parent's house.

She has admitted to "stalking" me online, even though I'm not quite sure what that even means.

She has told me that she is "obsessed" with my eyes.

When I went to go visit with her family over the weekend, it was me, my girlfriend, and her fraternal sister sitting in the living room.

The moment someone mentioned that her mother was about to come into the room, her sister (who also has never moved out of the house) quickly rushed to a nightstand table next to her and began to meticulously straighten the table cloth, a cup holder and something else like they were ever so slightly out of place by a centimeter.

All I can say is that I suddenly felt some serious weirdness in the air.

Something is going on but I have no clue as to what this might be.

Anyway, I was wondering if there is someplace or someone online that I could send 1 or 2 thousand of my girlfriend's text messages she sent to me and perhaps that person could build some kind of psychological profile of her.

I'm looking for total and complete confidentiality on this.

And no, I'm not trying to figure out what's wrong with her, but rather how to be more supportive.

To be honest, I don't know what to do with her at times and I feel helpless when it comes to fulfilling her needs.

Kind wishes everyone.

I hope I can get a response or two from someone here.

Ill take a look, Im no psychologist/psychiatrist but sometimes an outsiders perspective is just as good

P.s if that photo is you you look like Ted Mosby from how I met your mother

What you should do is to back off the relationship just a little. Something like "I am going away for a week or two to think things through because I am confused. It is my problem not yours but I still need to work it out."

See what happens.

Normally when you feel uneasy during a relationship it is either because you have unresolved issues or the other party does. You need those issues resolved before you can both move on together.

Remember that you also need to remember that a GF brings herself and her family into your life. A nice girl with Vampires for parents is probably something to steer away from.

Remember always, you both have issues. Yours come through quite clearly.

P

What you don't know is that I am really pretending to be some guy on the internet, just to find out what you say about me behind my back.

And Im not happy....

Expect 1000 more text messages and no sex.

reply to post by Steffenfield


It Is called an eccentric family
I agree with Phoenix, test the situation and go away for a bit.
Or try and pull out the old "girlfriend and I are still friends" card, and see how she reacts.
Sending all her text messages to other people on the internet makes yourself allot worse than what you suspect her to be... What if she finds out as well?! She will probably have your head on a stake

I would normally say no, psychological profiling does not work very well over the internet. If for no other reason than the deceptive nature of human beings. It's even more unreliable than normal.

But, in my opinion, the fact that she is a virgin at the age of 34 And still lives with her parents should be a huge red flag. It shows a lack of ability to function independently, inablity to grow up for lack of a better word and trouble forming healthy relationships. Not to mention, lack of drive or aspirations to change or go out on her own.

Just my half baked internet opinion, take it for what it's worth. But if the shoe fits...

Omygosh winofiend, you seriously spooked me there for a second.

You have a great sense of humor. *lol*

I don't think she knows I have an ATS account right now, but in time I'm sure that she will.

That's why I'll be deleting my posts here soon.

pheonix358, what issues do I have that come through quite clearly with you?

I know that most people can just look at me and probably count out at least 13 problems, but I'm curious as to what you think.

By the way, she is a CPA, works 50+ hours a week, drives a great car, and could fit into any social gathering.

Her thoughts and behavior though are something completely else.

If I knew that perhaps she had Borderline Personality Disorder (just an example), I could read up on this and learn how to communicate with her more effectively.

I've never known anyone in my life that acts like she does and I'm so stumped.

Honestly, I'm sure she has something that can be found in the DSM-IV manual, but have no idea what it might be.

Oh, and to IkNOwSTuff, yeah, that's me with my two sisters.

reply to post by Steffenfield


You asked, "pheonix358, what issues do I have that come through quite clearly with you?"

You stated "Okay, so I'm in a committed relationship with my current girlfriend who I honestly believe is my last chance on ever becoming happy again in this life."

That indicates that you have issues with your self esteem at the very least. It is not a healthy attitude. Ask yourself why you have this belief.


Since I now know that you have sisters, ask the older sister what she thinks, perhaps get her invited for dinner at your GFs house. She is in a much better position than you are to assess the situation.

P

34 and NEVER left home?
Sister making OCD-like adjustments before mother arrives?

History of abuse. I'm calling it now. Ask your gf more about her mother. If she gets hesitant or defensive, just say you want to plan something nice for Mother's Day this year.

Originally posted by Steffenfield
Omygosh winofiend, you seriously spooked me there for a second.

You have a great sense of humor. *lol*

I couldn't help myself. Been one of those weeks, I'm a little aloof.

I hope you find the help you're seeking though, I think it'd drive me mental personally. Mind you I think everyone who isn't me is a little kooky.. so..

Good luck!

Originally posted by Steffenfield

That's why I'll be deleting my posts here soon.

If you figure out HOW TO DO IT, please let me know. I thought once you post they are permanent.....you get 4 hours only after that???

I worked in a psych hospital for 6 years before going into a regular hospital. I can try to help, but not by reading what you want.
You could easily find out if she has a disorder just by taking note of any medications she takes on a daily basis. Also...how does she act? Like blank looks on her face? Overly dramatic? What? I would say defiantly some abuse going on in the house just from her sister acting suspiciously! Have you ever asked your girlfriend WHY she has never left home? Or why she is still a virgin? What kind of thoughts and behavior are disturbing to you? Give an example?

Originally posted by DaTroof
34 and NEVER left home?
Sister making OCD-like adjustments before mother arrives?

History of abuse. I'm calling it now. Ask your gf more about her mother. If she gets hesitant or defensive, just say you want to plan something nice for Mother's Day this year.

I have to admit that this was my first thought after reading that part of the post....the OCD adjustment part.

Are there religious or cultural reasons she lives at home and has preserved her virginity?
Are you part of the same religious and cultural persuasion?
Why do you feel she is your last chance for happiness?

I'm to be honest speechless about her situation.
I am not sure where you are from but this is slightly off culture if you live in a Westernized society.
Which may or may not jive with your lifestyle?

reply to post by Starwise

I know the screen tells you "you have exceeded the 4 hour limit" but actually you only have 2 hours according to Heffcide, (moderator extraordinaire). He said it's been that way for three years now.

Originally posted by Steffenfield
I'm looking for total and complete confidentiality on this.

So you post on a very busy public forum and include your location and a picture of yourself and your siblings? Guess what? You can't delete your posts now. Bzzt! Thanks for playing.

Look, trust your instinct here. You have picked someone who is not well socialized at best and it worst is completely nuts. You know this already and your gut feeling is warning you.

reply to post by Steffenfield


I can take a look if ya want.
Just set up a dummy email account, dump what ya got in there and then give me the password.
But I don't think we even need to go there. Im pretty sure I got an idea of what is going on here.
Super controlling parents, probably a little bit of religion in there. Parents are probably not controlling in the sense that you are thinking, she probably takes their word as gospel.
Long story short, there is a reason why this girl is beautiful, over 16 and still a virgin. You would probably better off not finding out why and just moving on to the next one.
But if you do want to stick around and have your way with her...

It would be worth it. There is a direct relation to how nuts a chick is and good in bed she is, its a fact. I had these two stalker girls one time and it was like there was no such thing as boundaries, these chicks did things you wouldn't believe and in an order that would probably offend you.

Tell me if you really want to move forward with this, give me the info and I will give you a grade a game plan.

I'm here to help, doing my public service for free now that I'm retired. I have credentials and experience as a clinical psychotherapist, and am a specialist in Children and Families.

If you want to u2u me, I'll be happy to do an "online assessment" for you in private form. I have the manual here, and many years of experience in "profiling" and DSM diagnosis. Also the family systems theory, which is DEFINITELY part of your lady friend's issue as she still is enmeshed with hers....

You are right, there's something amiss. Sounds like a case of total undifferentiation and subservience to an oppressive parent. Not a good sign. But, yeah, if you're interested just let me know. New case studies are always fascinating.

"Stalking you" online only means she's Googled you, and perhaps looked at what she can find of your online presence.

reply to post by Steffenfield


Just off the info given...we're looking at someone who may be in her 30's, but socially, is not that mature, and led a very sheltered life. She's going to seem very weird to you and anyone you know, most likely. I've known someone like this before, and their lack of awareness of the outside world can often be downright shocking.

Keep in mind too, if this goes south, you could have a real psycho on your hands. There are all kinds of red flags with this one...1000's of texts should be quite another...

That's why I'll be deleting my posts here soon.

Or just change your profile pic, unless she knows your username.

reply to post by Steffenfield


Why dont you just ask her about all these things that are bothering you?
First up is asking why she still lives with parents. There might be a very good reason for this.
You say you are in a committed relationship and yet you dont seem to feel comfortable with her?
I find your post a bit odd to be honest, if you love this woman, then dont do things behind her back, its not nice.