Should it Matter Who Takes Whos Last Name When Getting Married?

I was reading through some older news stories and came across one that I think would make for a decent discussion. Traditionally when a (traditional) couple get married, the Woman takes the last name of the Man, but in the news in January there is a case in which the Man took the last name of his Wife in the State of Florida. The State of Florida suspended his DL for fraud saying 'that only works for women,'. He went through the entire process of changing his name, just as any Woman would do so, including obtaining a new passport.

Here are a couple links to the story:
news.yahoo.com...
newsfeed.time.com...

He was turned down in his complaint he filed and planned to appeal the ruling but the State of Florida has stated it was wrong to accuse him of fraud and has reinstated his DL. Here is a link to that report.
news.msn.com...

Although it has been common practice for a very long time, I do not see why, in todays day and age, a Man could not take the Womans last name. Shouldn't it be left up to choice? Apparently it is even on the books as legal in 9 states(California, New York, Hawaii, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Oregon, Iowa, Georgia and North Dakota). Is it time to let go of the old thoughts and move into equality and choice in this area?

What then about same sex marriage? Would it not be acceptable for one to take the sir name of the other where these marriages are legal?

What say you ATS?

No, it shouldn't matter.

However, I doubt too many men would be willing to take their wives name.

It should be a no brainer (tradition-wise)....unless the couple chooses to get creative and hyphenate it or the couple is gay/lesbian; otherwise cultural convention would have the man's name being assumed by the couple.

My stepdad's ex wife kept his last name, and, when she remarried a few years later her new husband took her last name.

So my stepdad and his ex wife's new husband have the same last name now.

They also come to all of my stepdad's family functions as well. I have always thought it was rather strange..

I think it shouldn't matter. What if the man has many married brothers with children...the name passes to them. What if a woman is the only child but wants to pass on the fathers name? If a man does not mind taking her name then there should be no problem.....

It matters. We're keeping our names. You've already taken everything else.

reply to post by Ghost375


To whom are you referring to in this statement?

You've already taken everything else.

That's funny Florida would do that. Hispanics traditionally go First Name, Other Names, Father's Name-Mother's Name for their children. While not the same as getting married, and the man adopting the woman's name is unusual, the point is that not all cultures follow the European style naming.

Don't get me started on name changes because of religious reasons.

Political Correctness is over rated...

Personally, I question the manliness of a dude who takes his wife's last name or hyphenates his last name. I'm not one to buck centuries of family tradition. Every man on my dad's side of the family has proudly carried our last name, just as my son will and, God willing, his sons will. Instead of trying to further feminize the American male, society should start reaffirming masculinity in males and worshiping femininity in females.

reply to post by Agarta


this case isn't the first.

I know of men in this region who took their wives name, for various reasons.

One being that he was estranged from his family and didn't want association with them anymore.

Florida is very backwards in some ways though.
If we recognize marriage as equal partnership. And we should. Then there should be no stipulation that the man can't take the wifes name, or that both keep their names.

reply to post by burdman30ott6


Not every man has to prove their masculinity.

If you feel the need to prove it, is it even there?

Cant see a problem with it.

The reason why women took their husbands name anyhow was because she became his "property" for lack of a better word.

Originally posted by burdman30ott6
Political Correctness is over rated...

Personally, I question the manliness of a dude who takes his wife's last name or hyphenates his last name.

Personally, I do not.
My now ex-wife took my name and kept it after we divorced. Her reasons, because it is a very unique Celtic family name she prefers to her own, and also that she does not want a different name to our son.
Questions of manliness are born of subjective opinion of course, I do not share such views in this case.

One of my cousins took his wife's last name when they got married. I don't see anything wrong with it. It is a break with tradition, but there are many of those going around. How many guys ask the father for the girl's hand in marriage? How many women get their men an engagement gift? Not many. Another cousin of mine did something different, when he and his wife wre married, they combined their last names into a hyphenated version of the two. I think it is a personall choice and should be up to the couple to decide.

This is a really good point. No it shouldnt matter and the sooner they enable people to marry to whom evers surname they choose the better. Its patriarchy. And it sucks. Let people decide if they feel more connected with the wives or the husbands family. Stop trying to dupe people into patriarchy through this old tradition, I say!

Bring it on.

Another story depicting why government should not be involved in marriage whatsoever in any way shape or form.

The relationship wasnt the problem, the name wasnt the problem. Government blowing a gasket because it didnt know what the # it was doing was the problem.

reply to post by burdman30ott6


Question the manliness? what if the guy doesnt like his family and he just feels close to his wifes family.

My gosh if you associate manliness with names you really are backward. It has nothing to do with this what so ever. A man is a man . By dare I say it HIS BEHAVIOUR. If you are speaking interms of the admirability of a dude.

I even feel if a man took my name and later kept it , say after divorce , so be it. Doesnt make a hell of a difference to me. Certainly wouldnt effect how I view him. And for the record id say Ive been out with very macho men so I speak from experience of what it means to be manly.

reply to post by daryllyn


Oh gosh I didnt think about that. Maybe thats why they dont allow it. Weird for two men totally unrelated apart from to a woman with the same name as that woman. Even if they are divorced.

But just goes to show you what us women have put up with lol.. being this harem , part of a tribe connected to some dude. Lets change that

Don't see any reason why a man shouldn't be able to take his wife's last name if he wanted to. That being said I don't see any reason why'd any man would want to take his wife's name, but to each his own I guess.

Originally posted by burdman30ott6
Political Correctness is over rated...

Personally, I question the manliness of a dude who takes his wife's last name or hyphenates his last name. I'm not one to buck centuries of family tradition. Every man on my dad's side of the family has proudly carried our last name, just as my son will and, God willing, his sons will. Instead of trying to further feminize the American male, society should start reaffirming masculinity in males and worshiping femininity in females.

I'm sure you'll get some flack for saying that, but I completely agree. I would look a little suspect at a man that takes his wife's last name.