Valentine's Day is coming up...

Valentine’s Day is coming up and while others are planning to spend the evening by a warm fire with a bottle of wine and play erotic Scrabble-- as per usual, I was planning to spend the night by the refrigerator with a 2-liter bottle of Shasta and watch a David Lynch flick.

I’m not a romantic and I don’t have many special partners in my life. That all changed recently when I started to suspect that I had a secret admirer. Whenever I went shopping I would come out of the stores and walk back to my car to find some personal mementos placed carefully under my windshield wipers. How did they know I would enjoy a “buy 1—get 1 half-off” coupon for Carvel ice cream cakes? How did they know I was looking for a new place to smog my car? I could tell that someone was trying very carefully to win my affection. I felt very flattered and couldn’t wait to see what else Cupid had in store for me!

Then came the mysterious gifts. It started out innocent enough when I would come home and find them on my welcome mat. It was so thoughtful of them to leave me a bottle of Listerine and Ice Breakers cool mints. I think they were trying to send the message that they were shy and looking for a way to “break the ice.”

Then the next day I noticed a slip of spiral notebook paper in my mailbox with hearts and smiley faces drawn all over it with an orange Hi-Liter. It was a beautiful sonnet written in classical form! Here are just a few of the lines that really made my stomach flutter:

“When I’m lonely and the longing gets too much
I send a cable coming in from above
We don’t need no phone at all
We’ve got this thing called radar love
We’ve got a wave in the air
Radar love”

Doesn’t that just melt your heart? Well, I was intrigued, but a bit skeptical. I called everyone I knew to find out who my secret admirer might be; no luck. I figured it was just one of my prankster friends—they’re always joking around saying things like, “How did you get this number?”

I was too excited to sleep, and for the last few nights I just stayed up all night playing XBOX360 LIVE and snacking on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. When I got bored I logged in to see what was new on ATS and got an alert for 8 unread messages in my inbox! Wow, that was unusual since no one ever messaged me except the mods to tell me that my post was removed for being off-topic. All the private U2Us were from the same member…at first I thought this was really sweet, but after reading some of the messages I was officially creeped out!

This person was clearly my “secret stalker-admirer” as they seemed to know everything about me: they knew that I think Tab is a vastly underrated soda, that I prefer the WNBA because of their good fundamentals, and that I wear sandals when I go swimming in natural bodies of water because I’m afraid of stepping on something gross. This person had way too much intimate knowledge of me and it was making me very nauseous!

The fact that they made the connection between me and my ATS account is just eerie! I won’t badmouth them in this thread because I still want them to have a Happy Valentine’s Day.

Besides, their posts speak for themselves! Be cautious when dealing with this member! But don’t take my word for it. Here is their profile: www.abovetopsecret.com...











Much love, joy, happiness, and 'gettin' lucky' to everyone on ATS

scary post especially for those who maybe a little drunk at this time and can,t figure it out got to admit i thought myself wtf

Another quiet valentines for me again, so i won't be doing much really, apart from being on ATS.

Awesome post though, had to do a double take lol.

S&F

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


Ha, ha very funny...you should repeat this thread on (April fool's) day too!....

Happy Valentines Day to you too!

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha



You had me at "Radar Love", sweety.... Sealed. The. Deal.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha

What on earth is this about? I do not understand. I hope the mods can help me out. I have never sent any messages to anyone and only just lately figured out how to make the avatar dealy next to my name. Secret admirer? WTH, I am an almost 80 yr. old woman, with MS and a husband dieing of Cancer. I have been married for over 50 yrs. to the same wonderful person. I don't even drive because of neuropathy and MS. How unkind to say such things relevant to someone you don't even know. Stalker? I just don't understand. I don't know anyone personally here from ATS. I submit old poems I wrote long ago about all kinds of life scenarios, much as the other folks there and what they write. I sometimes write threads for the short stories forum and i like most of the folks there and I like to compliment writing talent and just speaking to nice folks from time to time. I have responded to some posts relevant to Camp Minden here in Louisiana and such. That's about it. I can bearly walk. I joined ATS to hopefully contribute to interesting and relevant posts related to the human condition and such and speak to like minded folks. I guess i made a mistake.

If this is some kind of "game" to get me to no longer post...o.k. I'm done. I also have very high blood pressure and don't need such in my life. I would think the mods would be able to know if i have sent messages and check? I have made many posts and have never been reprimanded by the mods for any kind of untoward behavior or words. I am floored. I still do not know or understand this post or what it is about?? ????
I would like one of the mods to email me and explain what this is about? What has been said about me has been very hurtful and confusing and libelous and and I need a reasonable explanation from someone that is lucid...Thanx.

reply to post by shrevegal


Whoa, whoa! Take it easy! That link in the OP actually just links to whichever member clicks on it. It opens up my profile when I click on it..and it'll open up yours when you click on it.

In fact, this is a beloved ATS prank. You'll find it commonly revived from time-to-time (especially on April Fools.)

I had hoped that it was apparent that I was joking throughout the entire thread. This is sort of like my anti-Valentine's satire. It's nothing personal.

Please calm down. No one wants you off ATS. Stick around! And enjoy Valentine's Day!

(Great, now I'm going to get banned for this )

reply to post by shrevegal


Hi...(Shrevegal)...first of all my heart goes out to you and your husband; you have a lot of challenges with your health issues; and I hope and pray the best for you.

When I first joined ATS...a similar prank was pulled on me...I fell for it...(for a minute) and many explained to me that it was a joke; and the link provided will always link back to each person's profile that replies.

Please...don't leave ATS...I and many others are glad you are here.

Originally posted by caladonea
reply to post by shrevegal

 

Hi...(Shrevegal)...first of all my heart goes out to you and your husband; you have a lot of challenges with your health issues; and I hope and pray the best for you.

Thanks, Caladonea, for saying what I couldn't find the words for. I am actually a cancer survivor AND I have a muscular disease similar to lupus..I know firsthand how difficult it is; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I find that laughter is the only true medicine for some of these terrible illnesses.

And I'm very sorry that laughter didn't achieve its purpose for Shrevegal in this case.

I think we've all been pranked in this manner before...it's an ATS rite of passage. Welcome aboard, Shrevegal You're a full-fledged ATS member now.

I hope we can continue to meet on friendly terms in poetry/ short story threads.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha
How did I give myself away?
I will be more careful next time!

Your attention please

For those not aware of this the link in the opening post will go to the profile of whomever clicks on it.
The post isn't actually singling anyone out.

I know I got caught by this trick before when I was new and I've also used it more than once.

The thread was made in good humour I'm sure and not intended to upset anyone and hopefully it can be taken in that way once people know it's not directed at them personally

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


You had me at David Lynch. Had you said Fresca. well...

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


Sorry but for the last 30 years I tended to be a bit cynical.I go out to eat and for drinks, whether there is someone in my life or not ,but every year on Fed 14th. I have played this song.






It's so true it's funny.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


I had no idea that it was a prank type scenario. However, with high blood pressure problem too, it did do a number on me...bp last nite 270/120 so was not good for lotsa reasons. I understand I suppose. I try and post to get a break from things when hubby is asleep or the health nurse or family is here to take over. Hubby is a 100% diabled Vet, (crippled), Viet Nam era...young then and now sees how war isn't the answer. Suffering just the same. I am a retired nurse and we are both on lotsa bp meds/heart meds. We have kids, grandkids and great grandkids. We wish no harm to anyone. I'm thinking posting at forums should be left to the young. No harm was intended I guess. Thanx for reply and explanation. Hubby/me are lucky if we have one more Valentine day left in us as more keeps getting added to our health list....now, a blood prob for me. Anyhow, thanx for all the replies and I have learned a lot here and have met some really swell folks. Blessings to all. All I want is to feel love in my heart for everyone here...after all, it is Valentines Day. Teddy bear hugs and angel kisses to ALL here. Have a great and fun day. ^j^

No one should be banned for this. It was not meant to be a bad thing. I didn't know it was a tradition of sorts. NB, I am not angry at anyone here...sad a little, that's about it. My bad.

I also know what you did last summer

BABY PLEASE COME BACK AND BE MINE!! I NEED YOU!! I NEED US!

reply to post by shrevegal


Unfortunately, sometimes you will have to keep your guard up on ATS. It definitely does seem that some members are really just out to make all of our blood pressures shoot through the roof.

However, whenever you see my name at the top of the thread, just be prepared to laugh or learn something new.

As I stated in a few posts above--I am a 20-something and am struggling against multiple health issues as well. I've been told by at least 2 doctors that I have the body of a 70-year old man. But, I will always maintain that laughter is the best medicine. And that's all this thread was intended for.

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


I am not sure why so much significance is put on this day. I have always treated my woman like its V day every day of the week. 365+ a year.

When I didn't have a woman V day was just another day. Holidays are for the women and children. At least that is my point of view.

I enjoy them just fine but I could live with them or without them.

Its kinda like adding salt to your soup, it adds flavor... it doesn't really add to the nutritional value.