Let's talk about sex... PLEASE read the OP....

reply to post by intrepid


I would disagree with your premise but mainly on the aspect that i do not believe sex and intimacy (as you have defined it) are necessarily linked.

The desire for a close relationship (intimacy) with another human being is a given for every one of us on this planet - it is something that we strive for (with the exception of hermits!).

The desire for sex is a pure physical desire - we are looking a physical release of sexual energy. This could be with someone we seek intimacy with or, frankly, it could be with a complete stranger we only met 5 minutes ago.

reply to post by cody599


Ahhhhh dude that's amazing, I am 28 and I wish I could find mine...

reply to post by intrepid


Where have you been all my life!!!!! Are we connected??? Are you reading my mind??
I get it. I totally get it.

reply to post by intrepid


I get it too. So...what are you doing tonight???? LOL

Men need to be loved at the end of the day. Women just need to be wanted at the end of the day.

Originally posted by Flavian
The desire for a close relationship (intimacy) with another human being is a given for every one of us on this planet - it is something that we strive for (with the exception of hermits!).

The desire for sex is a pure physical desire - we are looking a physical release of sexual energy. This could be with someone we seek intimacy with or, frankly, it could be with a complete stranger we only met 5 minutes ago.

I have to disagree. Been there with both. There is a much stronger bond and meaning to physical love when intimacy is the driving force. The focus is on "us". Without intimacy most time, as described above, it's all about "me".

To the other member, yeah, I didn't listen when I was young either but thought I'd take a shot.

Originally posted by Spacespider
Intimacy.... ??

I just want sex.. and back in the days I was single I was just on the hunt for more sex
its all I want
sex

its a natural feat we share with other male animals.. have as much sex as possible with as many as possible, and fight the competition

Only males can have a natural instinct to sleep around eh?

As a lesbian, trust me, its not a "male" thing.

reply to post by intrepid

Well there are some thing's that matter just as much to me.I heard this song a long time ago and I love his philosophy.Have a listen.

I have read the entire thread. Now,mind you this is coming from a 50 yr old married man (2nd marriage). I have found that it's this way. Women want to make love 90% of the time. Men want too 10% of time. Men want to have SEX 90% of the time and women 10%. It's that 10 percent of time when both want the same thing, either SEX or making love. when both are on the same page...that's where the good stuff is.

The three phase's of sex. (1) Honey moon sex= all the time , everywhere & anywhere.
(2) Mid-Life Appointment Sex= Time so hectic you just set days & time to have sex.
(3) Retirement or (Hallway Sex) That's when you've been together so long as you pass each other in the hallway, you each turn to the other and say "F-you!

I think the important thing is the trust, pact, and consent between the individuals involved in the act. Everything else is subjective to those individuals' beliefs, tastes, and natures in my view. Personally, I'm with you on the intimacy thing. I will not have sex with someone unless I love them, know and trust that they love me, and we share a powerful bond beyond just lust.

I've also been single and celibate for a while (nine years) and while I will admit to being lonely at times, sex for the sake of sex I can do without personally. But that's me, and I take no issue with people who have different standards. People are different and want/need different things from their sexual partners and need different things in general in order to feel happy and fulfilled. I don't believe that people can't be happy and fulfilled without a substantive relationship accompanying their sexual encounters. Just because I don't feel that way myself doesn't mean there aren't plenty of perfectly content people having consensual one night stands every weekend.

All I really care about is that people are happy and fulfilled, whatever that means to them.

Peace.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs:

en.wikipedia.org...'s_hierarchy_of_needs

I think because the standard of living is generally higher for everyone we are looking for more than the very base needs we need as a species.

reply to post by intrepid

As one gets older they see that MORE is needed to maintain a healthy relationship. A "connection". Mind not body. Sex should come from a bond that one loving person has for another. It's damn near impossible for intimacy to come from sex. That's not intimacy, that's sex.

Do I practice what I'm preaching? Yup. I've been single for 4 years. I've also been celibate for 4 years.

Sorry don't believe you and will not take your advice. It would be one thing if you were talking intimacy and happily married. It comes off as you are 50, alone and suffering. This is really no different than a young man saying he hasn't gotten laid in 4 years and is missing it. Sex is awesome, im going to log off and go to my all-you-can-**** buffet that is waiting for me in the other room.

In my opinion its all good,i have been in a relationship for 19 years 2 kids,pets and all that malarky,sex is not the most important part of my relationship and if were ever to be single i dont think sex would really be something that took over my life or indeed something i would seek out,dont get me wrong after 19 years the sex is still good we are an adventurous couple,but the thought of suddenly having to start from the beginning again with someone sexually and getting to know what each other likes ect would be to time consuming and the chance of finding another like minded sexual partner are probably zero.
To feel the need to go out and score is definetely a youth thing and that is no bad thing.

This is in part the lower animal mind, at work, Lust.
Then to Sex, is not the only lust.

This is Ego,it is hard to control.

I have been celibate longer than you, and I miss being held. Is like an ache. Ah well no hope for me on the horizon, but I am happy to hear there is a new friend in your life Intrepid, good luck with that, you deserve it.