Integrity

reply to post by buddhasystem


I hate that you got a star for such poor contribution to this thread.

But,,,,, the good side.... it makes a good point for this thread.

reply to post by MamaJ

I've run across a simple definition of integrity, which is - doing what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it, and presumably as the corollary to that, not doing what you say you're not going to do when you say you're not going to do it.

Therefore, to maintain integrity, it's probably best to underpromise and overdeliver! LOL

Baby steps..

Originally posted by MamaJ

We now have a society who look for personal fulfillment beyond measures. A concern for: ~ The self only ~ Domination ~ Competition, ~ Separation with a superiority complex. ~ Oriented by wealth, possessions, fear, and the status quo.

reply to post by intrptr

 

This above that you quoted is the opposite of who I am.

I was not only taught at any early age to be the opposite, but it is who I am.

My Bf, funny enough is this way and so is his son. We are opposites learning from one another and believe me, we clash A LOT.

I feel as though I am molding them to be less of all the above and they are teaching me to be more of the above. I want to please everyone, make everyone happy and seem to sometimes go over board with my dream land of how things should be. I am a Pisces and believe me, every word they say about Pisces is ME... to the "T".

A balance of competitiveness, selfishness, ego and wealth is where its at, but people today are either one extreme or another. Giving of ones self is hard, but we must do it.

Our experiences seem to mold and shape us. I have seen a whole lot of death in my 40 yrs and my Bf has not. He doesn't understand my way of thinking. He doesn't put himself in my shoes. Im working though... to pass on the lamp/light.

Understanding and cooperation along with a balance of self and materialism can go along way.

Again, I think Manly Hall says it well. He is a great teacher!!

"Those who attain Integrity must pass on the lamp."

"The truth will not fail upon the Earth."

Manley P. Hall, one of the great minds of the 20th century, and I find it amazing that I had not ever heard of him until up to a few months ago, and I consider myself somewhat worldly, educated and well-read. You would think it's almost a conspiracy to keep the best knowledge, true knowledge from the masses. Here is a Manley Hall youtube channel:

www.youtube.com...

MamaJ, speaking of great things you never hear about, have you ever heard about this TED website? Not related at all to the recent movie. Just tons of uplifting/positive/interesting articles:

Link to the remarkable TED website

Their motto is: "Ideas worth spreading"

reply to post by MamaJ

Thank you MamaJ, I know you have a heart thiiis BIG!

Giving of ones self is hard, but we must do it.

Mmmmmmmmm, to a point. I've stopped helping the selfish around me. They are only too happy to make me their servant. Besides they really don't need my help, just take advantage of my good nature.

Pearls before swine...

I live in America. I live in a white middle class retired hell. They are all rich, have everything they need and still aren't happy. They want to take what little you have and justly so (in their minds), out of spite.


Its hard to draw that line...

Therefore, to maintain integrity, it's probably best to underpromise and overdeliver! LOL Baby steps..

reply to post by NewAgeMan


Yes! Exactly!

Example...

My kids ask me... can I go to so and so's house or... can so and so come over... ya know.... Kid stuff.. well.. teen stuff now. (ugh!)

I answer (9x's out of 10) maybe, or we will see.

Why?

This way I have time to think about it and its always an answer for their best interest. I stick with it.

No kids over on school nights and I don't waiver unless their friend has a family emergency or something like that.

I am predictable. Back talk me and they get disciplined. Disrespect me and there is a consequence. Immediate at that. No grounding here. I also like my friends and family to treat me the same. I do what I say I am going to do.. and have always done.

I am the same.. my kids are understanding of it and are also showing characteristics of integrity.

Picking my battles and others picking them with me is also crucial depending on the moment. Words are powerful and integrity depends on "what you say is what you mean".

Above is just a sample of the way I teach my kids integrity. They like it and respect it. 9, 12, and 15 are their ages! Great kids, I tell ya!

Raising kids is a great way to "pass the lamp". And of course, teaching friends and foe's to pass the lamp. Its easy to keep your word and do the right thing, because it's the right thing to do. Your word has got to mean something to the world, otherwise your being is a waste of precious time.

Do we get lazy sometimes? Surely. The thing is, if we strive to provide and pass on the lamp to others as well as keeping the light on for our self, the world is so much brighter.

Mmmmmmmmm, to a point. I've stopped helping the selfish around me. They are only too happy to make me their servant. Besides they really don't need my help, just take advantage of my good nature. Pearls before swine... I live in America. I live in a white middle class retired hell. They are all rich, have everything they need and still aren't happy. They want to take what little you have and justly so (in their minds), out of spite. Its hard to draw that line...

reply to post by intrptr


It is hard to draw the line!

Being bitter, is also something I fall into, I wish it were easier, but it is hard to fall into the trap of feeling like you are not going to be the "nice one" you are going to treat someone the way they are treating you. Forget it type of attitude. I understand, been there and it is hard.

I have a real hard time with other people who are materialistic and think they should have all the finest things in life and for me, its meaningless. This is a clash... big time... for someone that bases their self worth on the dollar they have in the bank and the toys they have to play with.

I think... what is it about me that allows myself to feel so alienated to people who thrive on financial success?

Is it because... I have been there??.. been at the top of the food chain and taken down to the bottom. At a time when death was all around me and kids were going hungry. I was alone.

Integrity then was extremely hard. How could I do what I say I am going to do and be uplifting when all hell is breaking loose and there is hardly a pot to piss in?

All we can do is personally strive to be a better person no matter what we have. Keeping our word and following through with an intent of love can save a world.

Let me dream!

For me, integrity is when I look in the mirror and truly respect the man I see. It is not whether others think that my actions and words are consistent. They have no clue. It is not about doing right. Not one thing about integrity is about adhering to some external or moral code.

It is a character of symmetry, a state achieved wherein the outside man and the inside man are one in the same. And they both like each other enough, that they stay loyal to that symmetry despite being offered millions of dollars, sex or power, to violate that bond to self.

My Physics adviser used to say that if you can fall asleep each night before you can count to 10 - then you have integrity. I have never made it past 7 in my life.

Originally posted by TheEthicalSkeptic
For me, integrity is when I look in the mirror and truly respect the man I see. It is not whether others think that my actions and words are consistent. They have no clue. It is not about doing right. Not one thing about integrity is about adhering to some external or moral code.

It is a character of symmetry, a state achieved wherein the outside man and the inside man are one in the same. And they both like each other enough, that they stay loyal to that symmetry despite being offered millions of dollars, sex or power, to violate that bond to self.

My Physics adviser used to say that if you can fall asleep each night before you can count to 10 - then you have integrity. I have never made it past 7 in my life.

What a prime case of narcissism, complete with a reference to a mirror.

reply to post by MamaJ


Too funny... You start a thread asking "is integrity lost?" and "where to find it", only to reveal on the next page that of course you yourself and your family are the bastion of integrity. So the undercurrent was to feel good by having validation. Here, eat it.

What a prime case of narcissism, complete with a reference to a mirror.

Yeah those who do not possess it, tend to get angry, hang around sloshed out of their minds late at night, bitter and using their formerly strong intellect to do harm, and do things a normal person would never do. So sorry for you.

reply to post by MamaJ


To be honest, I'd rather be around an honest person who admits to being selfish, then a "selfless" person who gives not because they want to but because they feel compelled to do so.

If someone gives to another just because they feel compelled to do so, then that is acting like a robot. I prefer someone who WANTS to give from their heart then someone who is just giving because they feel "compelled" to do so even when their heart isn't in it.

Originally posted by TheEthicalSkeptic

What a prime case of narcissism, complete with a reference to a mirror.

Yeah those who do not possess it, tend to get angry, hang around sloshed out of their minds late at night, bitter and using their formerly strong intellect to do harm, and do things a normal person would never do. So sorry for you.

Jesus, it's worse than I thought - you exhibit narcissism AND superiority complex. Don't feel sorry for me, I had a good chuckle. I usually do when I see such ridiculous pomp.

reply to post by arpgme


I agree, although what compels someone to be a giver? Is it a want?

Why should someone WANT to be giving of self?

Is it a feeling of doing the "right" thing?

Being honest.... I don't like to be around selfish people. I have learned this about myself slowly over the years. Something about a person who is so self absorbed, its not a trait I appreciate.

Selfless to a point of self destruction is no good either. Balance is key.

It is not about doing right. Not one thing about integrity is about adhering to some external or moral code.

reply to post by TheEthicalSkeptic


I have to disagree here, and please do not take offense.

There is it seems a moral code of ethics to adhere to when displaying integrity.

Do what you say you are going to do or not do. Your words have to mean something. By your actions of doing what is right, you teach others through your actions what it means to have integrity.

For the one without morals.... integrity is lost.

I agree with you when you say we should love the person we see in the mirror.

Originally posted by MamaJ

There is it seems a moral code of ethics to adhere to when displaying integrity.

That makes sense, but...

Do what you say you are going to do or not do. Your words have to mean something.

What if you consciously made a decision that may be construed as mean, and stayed true to your word, being mean to the end? Will it count as integrity? It actually might. Especially if you are clear about your choice and are not masking it.

That ties into your thesis about moral code, since there isn't a single one.

I can't make sense of the OP- it all seems disconnected. I guess I don't hear the word "integrity" the same way, so that makes it all fall apart for me.
To me, integrity (the most valuable thing for one to work toward in life, I feel) is "walking your talk", having your actions and values in sync, not being self contradicting.

So, for example, a person who values materialism and who lives that has integrity.


So how this other stuff relates to integrity escapes me. I also don't percieve things as being so dual-based- that there is concern for self (bad) and concern for others (good). Or individualism (bad), collectivism (good).

Going to either extreme results in all kinds of problems in reality and only a balance between the two is truly effective. I think different cultures go to different extremes and making a generalization about the entire world is naive and ignorant.

Back to integrity though, I find that being hypocritical, and self contradicting is probably the most common psychological challange we face as humans, because of our built in reactions to reflect to others and our mirror neurons. The problem of integrity becomes one which includes not exposing oneself to the behaviors of others that you do not want to do yourself, or not contemplating the acts others do that you judge wrong to do. This will cause you to do it.

It truly sounds like many of you need to understand the word Morality, before you try and define Integrity, asking about integrity on the internet is about the same asking people about it on a street corner in a ghetto...




I love meeting brilliant idiots on the internet...



Now as far as my point...

Integrity, is something America, stood for quite a long time ago, you hear the old people, what is left of those, that existed in a time where integrity was a very important virtue..

It does not take rocket science, or a college degree to realize integrity in 2013, does not exist, and if someone has it, it does not take long for them to get it taken away or lost, with the world as it is now...

Yet for those that have it, they feel out of place, everything that surrounds them is built on lies and greed, to say the least corruption has taken over, hell man, just look at politicians, there is not one single politician that exists in 2013, that has just a sliver of integrity...

I trust no one to be honest... Sometimes not even myself...

Um...

I think we need a recap. So early in the game? Really?

Ok... here we go... once again the OP states what Integrity means. In case the reader failed to read the OP and just jumped in explaining what it means to them... here below is the definition and one which the research also in the OP is based on.

What is integrity? The dictionary says it is : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility : an unimpaired condition : soundness: the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness www.merriam-webster.com...

What is so confusing about the definition of Integrity?

Being "mean" cannot be in/with the same action as Integrity!!

A firm adherence to a code of especially MORAL or artistic values where one is not susceptible to corruption by others, they are sound in their judgments of self, complete, and seek unity rather than division.

The world is lacking by definition and if each one of us here in this thread tried hard daily to display and teach integrity, we could change the world.

reply to post by buddhasystem

Too funny... You start a thread asking "is integrity lost?" and "where to find it", only to reveal on the next page that of course you yourself and your family are the bastion of integrity. So the undercurrent was to feel good by having validation. Here, eat it.

Wow. Could you just once drop the condescending attitude? Is it any surprise that she puts a personal opinion into a thread she made? If you don't like it, then leave and drop your attitude off in the dust bin. It's about time you got rid of the damn thing.

Holy crap! Unbelievable...