Why Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself

I'm one of those who loves the idea of Facebook -- the layout (for the most part) and the ability to stay in social contact with people that I really care about. But there are some times when I have to STOP reading Facebook because I know it is affecting me. I have a couple of friends who are very active in social issues (including animal rescue) and who post photos and memes constantly. I also have friends who post EVERY single picture that they think is funny. With this kind of thing flooding my friendslist, it drowns out status updates from other people and (when the page is full of pictures of animal cruelty and animals that will be euthanized in 24 hours unless someone does something), it can make you feel helpless and depressed.

Turns out that this is not the only way that Facebook can make you feel bad about yourself.

No surprise — those Facebook photos of your friends on vacation or celebrating a birthday party can make you feel lousy.

Facebook is supposed to envelope us in the warm embrace of our social network, and scanning friends’ pages is supposed to make us feel loved, supported and important (at least in the lives of those we like). But skimming through photos of friends’ life successes can trigger feelings of envy, misery and loneliness as well, according to researchers from two German universities.


healthland.time.com...

It's an interesting little article.

By the way, if you spent time with people who were TALKING about these same topics, I think it would have an equally depressing effect on you. But when you're face-to-face, social cues (or a polite request) can stop the flow of depressing information. However, with the anonymity of the Internet, social cues go out the window and it's open season on your ego.

reply to post by Byrd


I would argue it perhaps brings your own feelings to the surface, rather than directly making you feel bad (or "envy, misery and loneliness") about yourself.

I do not think words or images by themselves are enough to change your attitude. They can however enhance feelings already there.

Unrelated to the OP: LOVED hearing you on ATS Live last night! Now I've got a bit more of a fleshed out notion of Byrd! Kudos and I truly enjoyed it!

On topic: Social media, IMO, has always had this sort of side-effect to it - even back in the early days, long before MySpace - when IRC and chatrooms were the norm. For roughly 25 years now I've watched the same trend play out. When a person gets into a new relationship, or gets a new job, or buys a new house, or anything really good happen to them... they tend to want to share ( read brag ) and they flood that information out into the world. A non-stop parade of pictures, statements of their absolute joy, etc.

The optimistic viewpoint? They're really, really happy and can't contain themselves. The pessimistic POV? They're knowingly rubbing it in everyone else's face.

What I think has changed in recent times is the advent of the streaming, realtime web. Even a couple of years ago one could separate from the feed simply by walking away from a computer. But now? Now our computers and even our phones receive these status updates non-stop 24/7/365. To make matters worse, the Twitter culture took the phenomenon and fed it steroids. Where once folks might just settle for blogging their joy in a one-off.... now they tend to shoot out one sentence updates every five or ten minutes.... indefinitely.

My new boyfriend is the most amazing guy! God I am ssssoooo lucky!

Awwwww he cooked me spaghetti for dinner! He is the bomb!

I love my man sssssooooo much!

I can't believe he cheated on me!

I hate being single....

I just met the cutest guy at the gas station!

He and I have a date!

My new boyfriend is the most amazing guy! God I am ssssooo lucky!

Over and over again... forever.

Long story short: Even if we don't have a reason to feel bad about ourselves. Just being exposed to the constant feed of information about others - even if it's nothing to really envy or respect - is enough to bog us down and toss us into a fugue.

~Heff

reply to post by Byrd


Can´t believe so many people are still using Facebook despite the obvious reasons not to.

This is just another reason to add to the ever expanding list of why not to use facebook.

Is this supposed to be a joke?

Theres more bad than good when it comes to facebook.

When you do the math, the good doesnt really compensate the evil (or the bad) that comes from it or how it can be used. As far as I'm concerned it should be shut down and removed from history.

Sure now people may say "so you talk of liberty and you say close it denying people the very freedom you advocate"... well I suppose there can be "bad freedoms" I guess, but I'm not a judge let alone the executioner.

I'm also one of those guys that understand that people like it, and we cant really blame a person for being born blind so... my policy is "dont like it, dont use it" and I don't.

Originally posted by Hefficide

Unrelated to the OP: LOVED hearing you on ATS Live last night! Now I've got a bit more of a fleshed out notion of Byrd! Kudos and I truly enjoyed it!

I have to agree. It was great to hear your contributions, as well as get your links in the thread.

What I think has changed in recent times is the advent of the streaming, realtime web. Even a couple of years ago one could separate from the feed simply by walking away from a computer. But now? Now our computers and even our phones receive these status updates non-stop 24/7/365. To make matters worse, the Twitter culture took the phenomenon and fed it steroids. Where once folks might just settle for blogging their joy in a one-off.... now they tend to shoot out one sentence updates every five or ten minutes.... indefinitely.

You can still walk away. Put the phone on silent and turn off the computer.

Long story short: Even if we don't have a reason to feel bad about ourselves. Just being exposed to the constant feed of information about others - even if it's nothing to really envy or respect - is enough to bog us down and toss us into a fugue.

~Heff

Is fugue what you wanted to say here? Not trying to be corrective, I just don't see what music or amnesia has to do with it.
en.wikipedia.org...

I like hearing of my friend's successes and being able to offer a shoulder for them if things are bad. I don't see the overload.

Originally posted by NeoVain
reply to post by Byrd

 

Can´t believe so many people are still using Facebook despite the obvious reasons not to.

This is just another reason to add to the ever expanding list of why not to use facebook.

Is this supposed to be a joke?

I showed that vid to a couple of friends, their jaws were on the ground
Some of the studio stuff may be a joke but I dont think the rest of it is.

Could ats have a similar sort of effect on people. I mean so many clever and witty people, great threads, funny posts.

I know up until joining /finding ats I thought I was quiet bright, clever and even a little funny..... Wow what a wake up call lol

As far as FB goes, I personally love it. Occasionally I may think ' damn another sat' night stuck at home due to kids when checking out pics & posts from younger FB friends'

Thumbs up to social media ( ats & FB) although I may not be the most social or come up with epic threads, still great places to hang out from time to time.

To take social media in your stride, don't believe all that is read. My father actually always said " believe none of what you read and half of what you see"

reply to post by VoidHawk


That's The Onion. From their website:

The Onion is a satirical weekly publication published 52 times a year on Thursdays.

www.theonion.com...

So no, it is not real.

It's well known that more and more people are using facebook, and generally a person will access their facebook account at least once a day. Everyone should be familiar with the facebook log in page, on one of the illustrations of that log in page is the familiar map with the icon people then with lines connecting them. If you look closely you can see those lines form a loose, subliminal, spelling of the word "sex".






(the picture is how I feel the subliminal is most powerful, though the middle E I think is easier for the mind to see as a lower case E )

I was actually somewhat proud to have found this one on my own as a joke "I wonder if facebook is involved with the 'infamous' subliminal hidden 'sex' word" Sure enough, the log in page, the very page most people will see on a daily basis normally ( the illustration alternates and is not always that particular one ) contains that subliminal. It makes me wonder what kind of reason that would be though I have some hypothesis. Just wanted to add this to the thoughts in the original post's thoughts here.



Edit to add:

You make the point here that your friends seem to be posting alot of nonsensical things constantly. I make the same observation actually. It's ironic because facebook connects people. If people were more political minded or whatnot, facebook could be a powerful tool to spread information. Whole movements could happen just through facebook as a friend sees something a friend posted, or something a friend's friend posted that their friend commented on, etc.

In this way facebook could be the most powerful thing known right now to spread ideas and information. It could be the biggest tool to reform this world, or at least America or the Western Cultures, for the better! Yet, as you mention, it's being used for the most base desire things. And what is the most base desire? Well, one of them could be 'sex'. So that subliminal I mention, I just wanted to connect even more dots ( other than connecting the dots to make the word sex ) and make sense how that subliminal is effecting the mind, possibly, and leading to the observation you and I have made about how facebook is being used.

reply to post by randomtangentsrme


It is the word I meant to use :

2. fugue - a dreamlike state of altered consciousness that may last for hours or days

Source

~Heff

Originally posted by Byrd
By the way, if you spent time with people who were TALKING about these same topics, I think it would have an equally depressing effect on you. But when you're face-to-face, social cues (or a polite request) can stop the flow of depressing information. However, with the anonymity of the Internet, social cues go out the window and it's open season on your ego.

From personal experience talking about great times with friends even if you weren't there usually result in a more uplifting experience. The mood really permeates through the group however just looking at volumes of pictures of people looking like they are having a great time 24x7 would be depressing because it makes people feel like they should be happy 24x7 which is just ridiculous.

I stopped book-facing several years ago and now seeing people check their phones every 30 seconds (literally) for status updates makes me laugh. Book-facing has become the new opiate of the masses.

You should really see the figures on how much time people spend on facebook or thinking about book-facing, disturbing really.

I wonder what sort of effect getting 'likes' or not has on the psyche of my generation?

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by randomtangentsrme

 

It is the word I meant to use

:

2. fugue - a dreamlike state of altered consciousness that may last for hours or days

Source

~Heff

Ah crap. I didn't look through enough links. I only knew it in the music sense first, and the online dictionary only gave me the music and amnesia defs. Thanks for expanding my understanding of the word!

I love Facebook. I love the way I can see what people from my past are up to. People from college, high school, places we used to live... I've reconnected with so many people. I know who's recently become grandparents, who just lost a husband, who just got a puppy. We even got a kitten because a friend found one in her yard and posted it on FB--and now he's a loved member of our family.

Yes, there are people who are super-annoying on FB, but hey--they're super annoying in person, too. At least FB has that handy-dandy feature where you can "hide" people. :-)

I really don't understand people who make disparaging comments about those of us who enjoy Facebook. Maybe those are the people who feel bad about themselves, as suggested in the OP...

On the Newsfeed

Top right of post > mouse over & click arrow > choose hide > choose hide all

It's an option for the really annoying friends

In my opinion, I've found a way to make facebook work for me. I unfriend people I don't like or don't care about, and I opt in to news feeds from the places that interest me personally. I don't post things that I don't think people really care about, e.g. how I'm feeling or what I'm doing, but it works for me. I share things that I want people to know, articles, blogs, whatever. I don't play games, don't post pictures of myself, and don't have all that much going for me socially so heck, no worries there.

My sister told me that "no one takes their facebook friends seriously", I thought that was odd..

It didn't make me sad it made me pissed off. After learning all about my friends and relatives and realizing how my views were radically different from theirs not to mention the text speak got on my last nerves too. I found it a pretty negative online environment.

I had been addicted to it for awhile and i'm not even sure why since I hated it so much.

I advise everyone to just call your friends up and go hang out. Because you are right, when you go onto facebook you get bombarded with negative imagery which sticks with you throughout your day. It's just extra useless static in your head that serves no purpose, at least not a positive one.

I finally deleted mine and good riddens.

There is always to unfriend button, or the hide status updates. I am sure a few of my dem contacts have me on ignore by now for making fun of obama. I only have one on ignore myself, an animal crusader who is constantly putting up pictures of beaten and bloody dogs. I don't want to see that #.

facebook is for those that require recognition and attention..
If you are feeling bad about a site that you post all your personal
information on and "It" makes you feel bad in any way,. maybe you need a psychiatrist.