Vampires, Christianity, and The Vatican

Two thousand years ago, a man died, and rose from the dead as a revenant. Now, as to the origins of this revenant, people will argue. People will bicker, and claim that this act of rising from the grave itself was some how holy.
If you look at it outside of the context of religion, however, it seems to fit the myth of the revenant. The undead.
The legend of the bloodsucking vampire.

You see, crucifying would not kill a vampire. Jesus was stabbed in the side with the spear of Longinus, but never in the heart. After Christ rises from the tomb, without witness, except for alleged angels, he only makes shadowy appearances. In my opinion, he fled the tomb in the night. Moving aside the boulder with the unnatural strength of the vampire. He then passed down the secret through the disciples. The first church being founded by Peter would go on to continue the traditions.

I believe that of the sects of Christianity, the true corrupt heart of this ancient lie is within the Vatican. Within this heart of darkness lies numerous secrets and eldritch horrors. Beings of perhaps centuries of age, debauched and savage. There are many tombs and catacombs for such to hide inside. The question remains as to whether the pope himself might be a vampire, but the man behind the pope who manipulates him is almost certainly one.

Viewed in a different light, Christianity appears as a death cult, centered around drinking the consecrated blood of an undead. In myth, drinking the blood of a vampire is enough to enslave mortals. Through ancient pact, this remains much the same effect. Modern religion has watered down the religion, but the catholic church is still ran by blood suckers. The rest of Christianity is just sort of cargo cult religion.

The truth will come out.

I think it's important to reevaluate how one perceives the "vampire". By definition, what should be considered symbolic and what taken literally.

Jesus also fits into the same category, of what in that bible do we take as metaphors?

Blood = Energy, perhaps that aspect of the vampire is mistranslated. Maybe we shouldn't be looking for hemophiliacs, but narcissists.

It would be worthwhile to try to validate some of those claims. Try to research if there have been any instances of people 'whistleblowing' from inside the vatican, if there are any claims of human sacrifice, especially child sacrifice done in secret within the vatican.

I flagged this just to bring it to the attention of THOSE who will make it ammusing

reply to post by ThinkingCap

Blood = Energy, perhaps that aspect of the vampire is mistranslated. Maybe we shouldn't be looking for hemophiliacs, but narcissists

May still be worthwhile digging around at the Vatican, they could be hemophiliac-narcissists.

I do find it amusing/ironic that Christianity is really the only religion that believes coming back from the dead is a good thing. Necromancy, vampirism, zombies, etc are all portrayed as denizens of down below.

reply to post by Grifter42


Awesome!
I love it.

This is just as plausible as all the other religious claptrap floating about. I am very interested in seeing how this thread plays out. At the very least it will be entertaining.

You know what, this would make a brilliant novel.

Besides looking like the Dark Lord of the Sith, I could buy that that Pope is a vampire. But, he has been seen in the sunlight though...

...We should stake him anyway, just to be sure.

Originally posted by watchitburn
We should stake him anyway, just to be sure

I'd say at least twice.

Now, where did I put that garlic.....

The theory would explain Lazarus quite well. One small bite and he rises from the dead.

P

That's something I hadn't thought of, but it certainly would explain that.
Anyone ever hear that quote from the bible, about people becoming "fishers of men"? Now, you could interpret that as fishermen, but I see it a different way. Literally fishers of men. Much as fishers lure in fish, they would lure in men.
Jesus said, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men". Follow me, and I'll teach you to catch humans. Food for thought, atleast. There's some very sinister, and creepy stuff in the bible, underneath the sunday school veneer.

reply to post by Grifter42


Brilliant thread. It all makes sense now. I never did trust that communion ritual...

But if Jesus became a vampire, then what about "God"?

I'd like to take a moment to nail down the characteristics of true vampires.
For one, I don't think religious sigils and such have any actual effect. The whole Christian front being a lie and corruption of the original origins, I think the cross will be rather useless. But to truly kill a vampire, one needs to be careful. Spontaeneous combustion is unlikely, and law enforcement would at best think you crazy, and at worst, be under the thrall and command of such vampiric elements. If one were to kill a vampire, one would have to treat it like any other body disposal. I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but these are the ramifications of such a thing.

Now, as to the means, I don't know. If they are truly the creatures of myth, and must be killed with a stake to the heart, I wonder if other means would kill them. I wonder about rocksalt, salt being traditionally a tool to ward off evil. That might work. Atleast temporarily. Now, if they are more human vampires, then it has the benefit of not having to deal with a corpse. Always preferable to not.

Garlic may have some use. It's a natural antibiotic, and if there is a transmittable disease at root here, causing symptoms similar to poryphyria, then it might inhibit such a thing. Or, it might cause irritation and thus repel folks with such a disease. I'm unsure. I just think there's got to be some basis behind the myth.

reply to post by Grifter42




I think there is something very wicked inside the Vatican. I don't think Christianity is a false based religion however I think it has been corrupted. I think our laws are based in a fair principled system that was handed down to us by others and the Christ principal is necessary to live with one another in the best way possible. Nothing remotely resembling this ever happens.

Love others just like you love yourself which mean do not do anything to another person you would not like done to you. If people paid attention to that - this world might work.

Are vampires connected to Christianity? I think they are exaggerated forms of a type of person who stays around and preys on the young because it makes them feel young. I think it is a form of pedophilia that got exaggerated into the Vampire tales. Vlad the impaler excepted of course.

Also, we should consider the similiarities between vampires and the catholic church.

Both prey on the weak and utilize the life force of others, like parasites, to survive.

Food for thought?

Or is that blood for thought?

Or perhaps the media cleans up these sorts of things, and hides certain elements of the story.
Yes, the catholic church has a problem with molestation, but there's something else to it as well. That level of debauchery and lack of dignity, the underlying structure is rotten inside. Like biting into an apple that's nice and shellac'd on the outside, and biting into a sickly core. It's what's inside that counts. And I believe these cases are just the tip of the iceberg. Remember, you have to be alive to come forward to make accusations.

You see, crucifying would not kill a vampire. Jesus was stabbed in the side with the spear of Longinus, but never in the heart.

Your entire premise falls apart here.

When the soldier (who is not named in the Bible, despite the fact that you've given him a name) pierced Jesus' side, blood and water flowed out (John 19:34).
This is for one simple reason... the spear pierced the heart. The blood is obvious; the water that flowed out is from the pericardium, the sac around the heart.

From "Gotquestions.org":

Question: "Why did blood and water come out of Jesus' side when He was pierced?"

Answer: The Roman flogging or scourging that Jesus endured prior to being crucified normally consisted of 39 lashes, but could have been more (Mark 15:15; John 19:1). The whip that was used, called a flagrum, consisted of braided leather thongs with metal balls and pieces of sharp bone woven into or intertwined with the braids. The balls added weight to the whip, causing deep bruising and contusions as the victim was struck. The pieces of bone served to cut into the flesh. As the beating continued, the resulting cuts were so severe that the skeletal muscles, underlying veins, sinews, and bowels of victims were exposed. This beating was so severe that at times victims would not survive it in order to go on to be crucified.

Those who were flogged would often go into hypovolemic shock, a term that refers to low blood volume. In other words, the person would have lost so much blood he would go into shock. The results of this would be

1) The heart would race to pump blood that was not there.

2) The victim would collapse or faint due to low blood pressure.

3) The kidneys would shut down to preserve body fluids.

4) The person would experience extreme thirst as the body desired to replenish lost fluids.

There is evidence from Scripture that Jesus experienced hypovolemic shock as a result of being flogged. As Jesus carried His own cross to Golgotha (John 19:17), He collapsed, and a man named Simon was forced to either carry the cross or help Jesus carry the cross the rest of way to the hill (Matthew 27:32–33; Mark 15:21–22; Luke 23:26). This collapse indicates Jesus had low blood pressure. Another indicator that Jesus suffered from hypovolemic shock was that He declared He was thirsty as He hung on the cross (John 19:28), indicating His body’s desire to replenish fluids.

Prior to death, the sustained rapid heartbeat caused by hypovolemic shock also causes fluid to gather in the sack around the heart and around the lungs. This gathering of fluid in the membrane around the heart is called pericardial effusion, and the fluid gathering around the lungs is called pleural effusion. This explains why, after Jesus died and a Roman soldier thrust a spear through Jesus’ side (probably His right side, piercing both the lungs and the heart), blood and water came from His side just as John recorded in his Gospel (John 19:34).

you have been debunked.

Through biblical propaganda. The side means the side. Heart is protected by the rib cage. And even it grazed the heart, traditionally, it is required to cut the head off of a vampire in addition to staking the heart. Like John the Baptist. Of course, the body is not here, so we cannot examine it's wounds, but I digress. You are wrong, sir, good day.

Antiquity is full of the undead masquerading as gods. Humanity does seem to have a real love for vampires. The Hindus had Krishna, the ancient Egyptians had Horus, the ancient Persians, Greeks and Romans had Mithras and Attis. All of them rose from the dead, and now that you mention it, are more than likely nasty, undead bloodsuckers.

How the hell do people keep falling for this?

Because, as I said in another thread, that humans are being bred as cattle. This society you see around you is a lie. We are being harvested.