I'm sad now...

I post a lot of threads complaining about my friends, because of our moral differences... but this sucks.

Because this one is ALL MY fault.

My room mates and I are moving out of my apartment. My room mate recently took in a friend from work-a particularly unique individual who comes off as sort of a "thug." I didn't like him at all at first. He's stolen from every one of us, but he's never taken anything too important. The most he stole was 25$ from my friend.

Anywho, I've been staying with my family because they live near my school, and I'm finishing up my last high school stuff. And, let me tell you... my family is the redneck mafia. Extremely pro-gun, and EXTREMELY ready to fight anyone who opposes them.

My cousin and I go to the old apartment to collect some of my stuff. Later, when we get back to Mamaws, I find out that my cousin swiped my new "thug" room mate's laptop.

Stealing is more like a family tradition. It's not entirely something they frown upon.

Now, I don't particularly like this guy, so I didn't feel bad for him (especially since he once ransacked my bed room)... but I knew this was going to cause problems.

Still, like an idiot, I downplayed the whole thing. I kept the laptop at my Mamaws, played dumb, and used it to download movies for my brother, sister, and little cousins to watch.

Then, by some freak circumstance, the guy finds out that my family and I have his laptop.

He's pissed.

So, I give my room mate the laptop to escort to him. After the guy threatens to call the cops, my family went postal, preparing for him to show up on our doorstep with the police. They were ready for an all-out showdown.

A BEAT down, I should say. This was the drama I wanted to avoid.

Though now, my friends see it as though I'M the one who took the laptop, and I'm the one who betrayed their trust. And, I don't blame them, because I did screw up. I was just as much at fault as my cousin was for all this.

So, long story short, my friends don't trust me anymore, and I no longer have a place to live once I'm done with school, because I'm not welcome there anymore.

Usually, I don't post things like this on ATS unless I feel as though I wasn't at fault.

This time, however, I'm just sharing my negative feelings. I'm not even really hoping for any feedback.

I'm just sad, because I screwed up. Yeah, my friends weren't perfect, and sometimes I felt like I downright hated them, but now I've lost them for good. Not the first time my jadedness has screwed things up.

So, that's all for my self-indulgent thread of the week.

I love everybody

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


Well, thanks for the story. Once you found out your cousin stole somebody's laptop, what exactly made you think it was a good idea to hang on to it and use it to download movies?

Theft is theft. Do you like theft? Do you like thieves (when they ain't your kin)? Something's supposed to go *click* (and I mean in your brain, not the Clanton's shotguns) when there's a question of the rightness or wrongness of stealing, regardless if he was a semi-thug.

Sounds like you made your bed... hope it works out and things get better.

Thank you for sharing your story.
You gave me hope for the future generation.
So,does mamaws got you covered?

You know,that just did it in for me,see you later folks...................................................or not ever ever again

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


Dear XxNightAngelusxX,

You screwed up, you were a jerk, you made a complete fool of yourself, you have dishonored yourself. Now what? We all screw up. It does not sound like you plan on making a life of screwing up in this manner. I thought I heard shame and guilt and a true wish to do better in the future. Here is the solution to your problem, forgive everyone who screwed you over and then you will be able to forgive yourself. It is recognizing that none of us is perfect that truly allows us to accept who we are. Hugs and peace.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


why are you sad? for being richer?
you have gained something important.

now put right the wrong.

a broken bone stronger mends.

Originally posted by InTheFlesh1980
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

Well, thanks for the story. Once you found out your cousin stole somebody's laptop, what exactly made you think it was a good idea to hang on to it and use it to download movies?

Theft is theft. Do you like theft? Do you like thieves (when they ain't your kin)? Something's supposed to go *click* (and I mean in your brain, not the Clanton's shotguns) when there's a question of the rightness or wrongness of stealing, regardless if he was a semi-thug.

Sounds like you made your bed... hope it works out and things get better.

I once had a habit of stealing. It was compulsive. My cousins and I growing up, we stole damn near everything we owned. Of course, since I distanced from my family, I also distanced from this habit.

Been legit for almost two years now, without stealing anything. Not including that stupid laptop. it feels nice.

That's why I feel crappy, because I basically broke this record. Yeah, you're right, I made my bed. It sucks.

Of course there was a *click*... but I used to be very skilled at ignoring the click.

And when family does something, I learned at a young age not to question it.

I'm not making excuses, I know I still did wrong, but... meh


Thanks for the replies, everyone.

you are a tea leaf and you got caught out stupid is what stupid does grow up

Originally posted by billdadobbie
you are a tea leaf and you got caught out stupid is what stupid does grow up

Don't understand what you're trying to say.

If you're saying I'm "stupid" and "need to grow up" ... get in line. I've heard worse.

And... I'm a tea leaf? What?

yanks. you gotta love them
willing to have an all out armed beatdown with the cops over a stolen laptop
yea you guys really need to own guns

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


a tea leaf or thief bud its karma getting its own back ever watch my name is earl

You should have returned the laptop as soon as you found out. The guy is a petty thief, he thinks he deserves others stuff and it sounds like he takes it. You know you messed up and are sad because you messed up. Don't get in those kind of situations anymore, learn from this mistake.

Originally posted by xszawe
yanks. you gotta love them
willing to have an all out armed beatdown with the cops over a stolen laptop
yea you guys really need to own guns

None of my family threatened the cops or anything. They were agitated because the guy threatened to "start some stuff." Not a very smart thing to say to my family.

As for that "yanks" comment, my country was founded on yanks with guns. Deal with it.

There are a lot worse people than my family who are allowed to own guns, like tyrants in other countries who kill citizens and rape their women. My family has never hurt anyone who didn't initially start a beef with them.

Originally posted by billdadobbie
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

a tea leaf or thief bud its karma getting its own back ever watch my name is earl

Yeah, you're right... assuming you're saying what I think you're saying, that karma got me.

Yeah, it did.

But seriously... it's hard to understand you, the way you type.

Originally posted by rickymouse
You should have returned the laptop as soon as you found out. The guy is a petty thief, he thinks he deserves others stuff and it sounds like he takes it. You know you messed up and are sad because you messed up. Don't get in those kind of situations anymore, learn from this mistake.

Right on.

Hmm.

Worlds apart. No wonder there is so much conflict in the world. I just have no idea how I would be able to live in a world like yours.

I guess it's just how normal you present it. as if it's all matter of fact.

so completely foreign to me.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
You live and you learn! I understand why you didn't protest when your cousin took the guy's laptop: (1) The guy was a semi-thug who stole from you and your roomates and it probably felt kind of good seeing him get a taste of his own medicine and (2) Your cousin who took the laptop is kin and blood is thicker than water. If you had immediately returned the laptop you would have essentially been snitching your cousin out and going against family. I really do understand your quandary.

Since everything has finally all come out in the wash the best you can do now is to learn from the experience (your sadness and feelings of guilt tell me you have learned from the situation) and move forward. Don't make the same mistake again. Apologize to your former roomies and if they were truly your friends eventually they will forgive you for your poor decision. If not, well they weren't that good of friends to start with- so go make some new ones.

Originally posted by winofiend
Hmm.

Worlds apart. No wonder there is so much conflict in the world. I just have no idea how I would be able to live in a world like yours.

I guess it's just how normal you present it. as if it's all matter of fact.

so completely foreign to me.

I've felt that way about other people as well. When I meet people who have been through bizarre things I can't imagine, I try understanding what it would be like in their shoes... mind boggling.

I know that stealing laptops isn't the "norm" for most people, but I've been around stealing a lot, I suppose I've grown a tolerance to it.

But, for someone with compassion, the astronomical differences in the world are a spiritual adventure, not a moral challenge.

Then again... it always depends on the people.

Originally posted by littled16
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

 

You live and you learn! I understand why you didn't protest when your cousin took the guy's laptop: (1) The guy was a semi-thug who stole from you and your roomates and it probably felt kind of good seeing him get a taste of his own medicine and (2) Your cousin who took the laptop is kin and blood is thicker than water. If you had immediately returned the laptop you would have essentially been snitching your cousin out and going against family. I really do understand your quandary.

Since everything has finally all come out in the wash the best you can do now is to learn from the experience (your sadness and feelings of guilt tell me you have learned from the situation) and move forward. Don't make the same mistake again. Apologize to your former roomies and if they were truly your friends eventually they will forgive you for your poor decision. If not, well they weren't that good of friends to start with- so go make some new ones.

You're 100% right.

I already apologized like crazy, but I'm not living with them anymore. They don't trust me, and rightfully so.

I don't care so much, I've lost all my friends in the past due to some moral conflicts, Thing that kills me is that I thought I was past screwing up all my close relationships, but I suppose I'm not. It's in me to hurt other people.

Whatever, live, learn, and move on. Don't need em.