Invent sayings.

Hi all,

This thread is all about invented (funny) sayings.

Post and explain them.

I've got like one, it's quite newage, not?

Here it is:

"To smoke the sh¨t out of the crackpipe."


It comes from the drugpeople. They are fine. It means,.? uuuuh

The Xuxu people of Northwest Brazil always say that

Every river has two banks...

reply to post by Kokatsi


There can be more meanings to a saying. That is a nice one Kokatsi.

reply to post by Angle


If a gay man admires the side view of your butt, DON'T turn the other cheek!

I don't mean to be.... RUDE?.

Originally posted by Angle
I don't mean to be.... RUDE?.

edit on 3-2-2013 by Angle because: (no reason given)

I don't understand.

You want a new NEW saying? Okay, how about:

Benefit of the doubt

If a man says to a woman, "I love your thong," please consider that he is listening to a music CD you have playing, and that he has a lisp.

However, if he also adds, "I love your ath too," slap him hard!

reply to post by jiggerj


Okay, it's just your post JiggerJ, and then seeing your avatar.

I have another funny saying:

I'm not a 40 year old, I'm an 18 year old with 22 years of experience.

reply to post by jiggerj

Originally posted by Angle
reply to post by MamaJ

 

C'mon MamaJ, you prolly never touched a bible.

b.t.w. you definetly aren't Jiggerj's mom, right?

Originally posted by Angle
reply to post by jiggerj

 

Originally posted by Angle
reply to post by MamaJ

 

C'mon MamaJ, you prolly never touched a bible.

b.t.w. you definetly aren't Jiggerj's mom, right?

UUUUUUH? Where's MamaJ's original post?

Originally posted by jiggerj

Originally posted by Angle
reply to post by jiggerj

 

Originally posted by Angle
reply to post by MamaJ

 

C'mon MamaJ, you prolly never touched a bible.

b.t.w. you definetly aren't Jiggerj's mom, right?

UUUUUUH? Where's MamaJ's original post?

Don't feel bad Jigger, I don't think Angle is totally with us on this Earth, I think they are out in some induced limbo that makes normal sense go out the window..

reply to post by Angle


"My staff of power has been broken"

Well, once upon a time two friends and me were looking to buy a hunting cabin. Not to hunt, but to do adolescent things. we were just finished with HS and we found this POS cabin in upstate NY for less than 15 grand. The land was AWESOME...

so anyways, my really good friend and me were going to try and get it by ourselves but couldnt afford it (DUH), so we had to bring someone else in on it and everyone else was broke as hell. There was at the time a horrible person living at my friends house after going through a bad divorce. He was a real scum bag. BUT we werent dicks and he was still a friend in need. My buddy let him live rent free, and well it ended badly. BUT before it did he was with us while we were looking at this cabin.

One day we went to go see the land one more time to see if it was REALLY worth the head ache. Our scummy friend didnt come with us. We were pissed at him for a series of somethings he did and spent the whole trip up there and back concocting a plan to put him in his place.

There was another cabin not too far off from the property we were looking at. We always wondered who lived there . We wanted to be good neighbors. anyways.

We decided to make up a hot chick with a huge defect. We told our scum bag friend about meeting this incredible woman who blew our minds and showed us the time of our lives.

We said we partied and spent all night in Babylon. We said we had to get the property because she promissed to show anyone of our friends a good time and that she was lonely but liked living there.

The way we described her appearance would put Helen of troy to shame. I mean we sounded like the slickest most convincing snake oil/ car salesmen on earth. He was practically drooling and begging to go up there RIGHT NOW.....

Well, here came the hook. We swore him to absolute secrecy before. We also made the biggest deal about it. He swore on his child and all that. He was convinced we were about to reveal the biggest secret in his life.

Ok, so we told him that this Goddess confessed that she used to be a man. That she had a sex change and spent her life savings on the most amazing operation. We again drilled in her incredible appearance. He was eager but confused.

He started to make fun of us, but we switch hit him with rebukes and he shut up before he could even speak.

We then asked him. Would you still want to have the time of your life with this former man? We kept asking him. He kept trying to side track the question, but we insisted. He was in a car and my friend was driving. There was no where to go.

Then he said it. F-it, yeah. I would do this and that if she was that good looking. I dont care. He got sloppy with his imagination and very graphic. We were silent and let him go on and on about how it was Ok and that a man is not a big deal to sleep with as a hetero-sexual...ect..

then he noticed we werent talking but ginning like devils. "OUR STAFF OF POWER WAS THEN FORGED"

We erupted in the longest and most profound laughter an evil conspiring mind ever had. His reign of terror was over. We had this over him. When ever he got out of place, we would remind him "hey Matt, you would do what to Sam?"...yeah we said her name was Sam....

It was glorious and made having him around more bearable.

Then one day another guy we know F-ed a transvestite while on drugs and openly talked about it. Waking up to this man spooning him naked....so he broke our staff of power....

When ever we tried to use it on our scum bag friend he would just say "yeah what ever at least I didnt F- a guy like Arthur...."

Our mighty staff of power was broken.

When ever we are utterly defeated and our greatness gone, we say...."my staff has been broken"...or "my mighty staff of power has been broken".....in a Herculean voice...

We called it a staff because we agreed it was pretty evil, like skeletor evil...and considering how we laughed, it sounded like we were skeletor laughing over He-mans corpse when we broke it to him that we made the whole thing up and he agreed to do weird things to a dude for no reason...

Originally posted by vkey08

Don't feel bad Jigger, I don't think Angle is totally with us on this Earth, I think they are out in some induced limbo that makes normal sense go out the window..

LOL I find that this happens a lot here. But anyone calls him/herself a coffee czar is all right in my book. I'll have mine with one sugar and powdered coffee creamer, thanks.