We are raising a generation of deluded narcissists

At least someone gets it. With all the talk of guns being to blame for societies issues at least one guy actually explores the true root cause. Dr. Keith Ablow. This is a pretty good article about why we are seeing mass murders and other symtoms. Here is a link and a small part of the article. Hopefully it makes it into the mainstream media.

www.foxnews.com...

A new analysis of the American Freshman Survey, which has accumulated data for the past 47 years from 9 million young adults, reveals that college students are more likely than ever to call themselves gifted and driven to succeed, even though their test scores and time spent studying are decreasing.

Psychologist Jean Twenge, the lead author of the analysis, is also the author of a study showing that the tendency toward narcissism in students is up 30 percent in the last thirty-odd years.
This data is not unexpected. I have been writing a great deal over the past few years about the toxic psychological impact of media and technology on children, adolescents and young adults, particularly as it regards turning them into faux celebrities—the equivalent of lead actors in their own fictionalized life stories

Mod Note: Quoting External Sources/Proper Attribution - Please Review This Link.

I agree with her findings entirely but can't help but note... They are generated by a person in a field that must, by definition, see itself as somewhat gifted and above to do what the point of the job in psychology is to do.... and then the study by a psychologist who is faculty at UC San Diego, so likely largely put together by grad students (most likely) who would be in the program to join the same lofty profession.

It's early and I just woke up here...but isn't the irony in the truth of it all kinda funny when looked at dispassionately? Again, I don't disagree a bit with her findings. Maybe that makes me defined by them too. We're in for a rough future in many ways indeed, eh?

While I do agree with the findings as the article says.... "we/I can see it happening" before my eyes, however I do not include myself in the "we".

I am not raising children to be like that. I am raising my children like I was raised. Go outside and find something to do.

Not only that though, I ask my kids daily, "How was your day"? "Tell me something about your day, what did you learn". Kids want to be heard and they want attention. If there is no one at home, fine, give them chores or something to keep them busy besides getting in trouble, watching tv, or playing games. Something.

With any relationship, communication and trust are two vital components.

Many kids that play sports are definitely "winning". They have their mind and body at work doing something far greater than sitting around playing shoot em up games, eating and getting fat, or simply hanging out on facebook, twitter, and or instagram.

Another major problem I see along with the op/article is prescription medication. With the "depression" or whatever diagnosis seems to be placed as there are many these days our kids are growing up on antidepressants. That combined with a delusional world sets a trap for the child in their mind. Its crucial the attention get off guns and focus on the root problems.

Seeing as i am part of this generation you're speaking so little of allow me to defend ourselves.

Seemingly the greatest generation at volunteerism we've ever known, Gen Y doesn't wait until they become financially successful to pay-it-forward, serve those less-fortunate, and mentor. Among Gen Y, social good is organic -- and real-time.

The world economy has been bad for so long, many members of Gen Y haven't personally experienced the "old economy" -- and aren't burdened with bitterness over a pay-cut, a downsize or a job that was outsourced. They know only the workplace reality specific to them... and have nowhere to go but up, with little baggage dragging them down.

Gen Y is known for sharing best practices, self-learning and continuous personal growth. They are unafraid to blog, brainstorm, talk and text about what works... and what doesn't... greatly decreasing the collective human learning curve - and becoming globally competitive as a result. In our economic condition, those are high-demand skills.

Source

Yes, there are other factors involved. It is heartening however to see an article that tries to get to the root causes instead of just " guns,guns,guns"

Why would these findings surprise anyone? I mean, let's take a look at what we've done to the current generation.

We've offered participation trophies just for showing up. This teaches children that preparing for victory and the victory itself is not as important as simply being there. As a result, we've raised a generation of children who believe they should be rewarded just for showing up and being there.

Many schools have eliminated the dreadful "F", or failing grade. They've justified this by stating that "Failing" a student hurts their self-esteem and may haunt them the rest of their lives. As a result, we've taught children that since failure is too much to handle, we'll overlook your failures. They bring this attitude into the real world expecting that the world will overlook their failures and forgive them.

Some have gone further and eliminated the use of red ink in grading papers, stating that this also hurts student's self esteem. As a result, as young adults they enter the workforce believing that corrective action will be gentle and comforting - NOT at all in line with reality.

We've eliminated corporal punishment. Parents are no longer permitted to spank their children. Heck, even the threat of grounding a child has landed parents in jail or at the very least in trouble with social services. We've taught these children that any time there is a threat of punishment, a simple call to the police of family services will clean up the mess and make the consequences go away. Even schools have eliminated corporal punishment, many have even eliminated the dreaded after school "Detention" so that the students might enjoy their extra-curriculars.

As a result, we've replace achievement with entitlement while erasing any semblance of a moral compass!

Why is it almost every time I read a post that states "we" this, or "we" that, I end up with the facepalm? Am I really just that much greater than everyone else in the world? I can't be the only one that is doing a decent job living my life out

What's with all this "We" talk.
We is a term for the general collective, and I certainly don't count myself as part of it.
Two threads in as many days for me, blaming "Us" for raising child delinquents.
Not everyone is an incapable parent.
There is always an exception, many people are neglectful parents, but we? I'm not part of this, "we".

reply to post by misse2miss


I don't even bother. As long as human beings have been alive the elders have most likely whined about the young. I have come to accept it. Let em whine if it makes em feel better. I know who I am and I know I'm not a narcissist. Most of the people I know my age aren't like that either. Now I'm special, special ed, but that's a different story.

I will just say when I get old and I end up whining like majority of older people do then I am just going to off myself. It would be very apparent to me that I had ended up as a shell of myself if that was the case.

Yea, younger people are different and that's good. The world can't stay the same forever. If you aren't changing you are just dead.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


I agree with you 100%. The problem is that half of the parents don't do a proper job of parenting. Add to that our public school system gives our children a trophy even when they lose and we have a lot of kids that do not have the mechanism needed to cope with losing in the sometimes harsh environment of society.

Originally posted by jimmiec
reply to post by Lulzaroonie

 

I agree with you 100%. The problem is that half of the parents don't do a proper job of parenting. Add to that our public school system gives our children a trophy even when they lose and we have a lot of kids that do not have the mechanism needed to cope with losing in the sometimes harsh environment of society.

Yes the "problem" with the youth is we have been given trophies.

Let me ask you this one question?

What makes you think genereation y (my generation) does not have the capacity to cope?
Because last time i checked there have been "crazies" throughout time i will list a few

1. Charles Manson

2.Jack the Ripper

3. Pedro Alonso López Killed 110+ yrs: 1969 to 1980

4.Gary Ridgway Killed 71+ yrs: 1982 to 2000

5. Ted Bundy Killed 35+ yrs: 1974 to 1978

6. Jeffrey Dahmer Killed 17 yrs: 1978 to 1991

Theres plenty more where that came from

source


It seems like there have been some bad eggs in nearly every generation.. but see here is the difference we aren't belittling you.

Perhaps everyone should stop pointing the finger and stop playing the name game and take some responsibility.

Generation y didn't choose the world we grew up in YOU DID!

But don't worry at least we know how not to be, thanks for that

Btw this was not aimed directly at Lulzaroonie i went on a tangent

.

reply to post by misse2miss


It is not a problem that encompasses 100% of any generation. As individuals our mental attitudes etc are unique in as far as our general surroundings/experiences throughout our life. Not every school in America educates their kids the same. A different result is a given. The percentages in the article are a bit disheartening and telling however.

Facebook,

status updates

vaccines, advanced med

antibacterial everything

plentiful entertainment

perceived diversity

connectivity to the rest of the world (flights, internet)

education

Yet, youth/adults suffer allergies, poor diet, depression, ADD, BDD, pyschoses, miseducation, un/underemployment, and egocentric views of the rest of the world. This isn't incidental, it's in like with what Americans' shadow government wants its citizens preoccupied with.

I dont understand it cause though growing up American, I spent a large part of every year travelling overseas with family, then by teens working hard and supporting charities, and environmental movements. Meanwhile peers are spending all their time and money on drugs/meds, hair, clothes, boobs, muscles, fastfood, drinks entertainment. Its

Consumption driven society and narcissistic view of the rest of the world, which mirrors the peoples' shadow govt. Arrogant govt, vain people.

reply to post by minnow


Kinda reminds me of the Roman Empire and it's eventual collapse. Maybe civilization is far older than we know and they all end the same. The Roman Empire had vast libraries of knowledge. Those books were all burned. I wonder how much further along civilization would be now had they been saved. I wonder how the knowledge we have accrued would be saved in a similar collapse,or if it should be saved.

reply to post by jimmiec


Thanks for bringing this to the boards.

It speaks truth to the fact that the proliferation of mental illness in America is largely based in what are becoming known as diseases of narcissism.

Anorexia nervosa, bulimia, pornography addiction and all of its concomitant disorders; this stuff did not really exist only a few decades ago.

If we do not take responsibility for ourselves, others are going to do it for us.

Guaranteed.

Originally posted by Xoanon
reply to post by jimmiec

 

Anorexia nervosa, bulimia, pornography addiction and all of its concomitant disorders; this stuff did not really exist only a few decades ago.

BS, Anorexia and Bulimia are not new and they have nothing to do with narcissism. Most people with that illness have been sexually abused in their lifetimes and that behavior is a response to that abuse (or a period of prolonged starvation in the case of Audrey Hepburn). It's a method of controlling their lives. The whole "vanity" angle doesn't have that much to do with it. Now, some people in the the entertainment industry do develop it as a consequence of becoming obsessive with their diet. That "obsessiveness" is the root of the problem. This is why most people with Anorexia also have OCD. Furthermore, the term was invented in 1873 so obviously it wasn't some problem that cropped up a few decades ago.

Porno addiction occurred as well, it just wasn't as prevalent because the technology was different.

So often when talking to teenagers to twenty somethings I have felt like they were deluded narcissists, mostly untalented and totally self absorbed with vastly over inflated egos and little or no real life experience, reality concept or general knowledge.

reply to post by theabsolutetruth


Sounds familiar unfortunately. We can't really blame them. The unintended consequences of good intentions can be horrific. Now, how do we fix it? Can we fix it? Not through drugs for sure.

Originally posted by jimmiec
reply to post by theabsolutetruth

 

Sounds familiar unfortunately. We can't really blame them. The unintended consequences of good intentions can be horrific. Now, how do we fix it? Can we fix it? Not through drugs for sure.

Not sure if it is fixable, would require a major culture shift and attitude renewal and from my experience Narcissists are loathe to even admit non perfection let alone rethink their entire attitude, especially with regards to themselves.

If there is a cure for egocentricity it would probably be something like army camp for a year or more, or perhaps social pressure linked to actual physical denial of certain things. For example, if being dumb but pretty and well versed in nail gels / reality shows became something of the realms of people not to be taken seriously and society looked more towards people's knowledge and ability than how they look or how many facebook friends / likes they have.

Originally posted by TKDRL
Why is it almost every time I read a post that states "we" this, or "we" that, I end up with the facepalm? Am I really just that much greater than everyone else in the world? I can't be the only one that is doing a decent job living my life out

"We" meaning "Society". Are you somehow exempt from being a part of the collective "we"? Your participation on ATS makes you a part of the "we" when referring to ATS even though you have a different perspective or might be smarter. "We" is a simple euphemism when referring to a collective group to which we all belong.

Make sense?