Jesus spent 40 days in the Desert. I only spent 21, but here's what began to happen;

I was in the woods, on 5 acres bordering several National forests, Northern Wisconsin was the place.

It was an old, dusty, spider and spider web filled mini-camper, just enough for one person to sleep in with a small cook stove and sleeping bag. No phone, computer, radio, TV, just a handful of books and quest to reach deep down within myself, to find myself, God, Nature ....whatever may be. I was dropped off and left there, not to see another soul for another 3 weeks.

By day 2, the ego/mind was going crazy lacking the constant stimulation from smart phones, TV's, roommates, work/co-workers, society, etc. Yet I was aware of the "going crazy." I tempered this w/ meditation near the camp fire.

The first couple of nights, there was fear in the pitch black night due to the visiting critters, the fact that the camper was used by bats as a shelter as well, and with the unknowing of what can be outside of the camper. I tempered the fear with prayer, observation, meditation.

Around day 5, I was settled with stillness, nature, silence, with myself, the mind settling down w/ lack of stimulation, and fear was no more. All I could do is just Be, Flow w/ what is. I fasted during the days, and ate a handful of grains, nuts, or a small fruit at night.

Somewhere around day 8-9, things began to make sense. Society seemed artificial. We've gone so far from Flow/Being and live in fear, ego, and addiction to stimulation. I was deep within myself, fine with myself. I was in a sense Home, deprogramming from societal ways.

Day 12-14, the tree's began to glow. I hugged the tree's and acknowledged the Life of nature. Squirrels, wild turkey's, deer began to come near and check out what this odd human was doing there. As the days past, they would get closer and closer, having less fear of me

Day 16, I found the core me. I was fine no matter what. Can face anything, feared nothing, and understood existence as Being, as Flow, as interconnected to me. Even the books I brought with did not matter to what reality taught me there in nature. The fasting tempered the lusts of the body for sexual release. The idea of sex, porn, lust w/ beautiful sexual women lost meaning and I saw through it, discovering many connections between the body and mind.

Day 18. There are Universes revolving above my head. I've had this before, but it really sank in now. The majority of stuff is irrelevant in the big picture. I have closure and detachment in my life and if it's time to physically die, today is a good day for that. I'm open to whatever Flow & Being has in store for a tiny grain of sand like me. Fear is let go of, and the grand scheme of things runs the show.

Day 21. In Love with this type of existence. I've reached a part of myself and existence that I never knew was there, but always had a hunch about. Considering monasteries now or permanently living like this. However it's time to say goodbye and get back to society, considering I still have some familial and financial obligations to take care of.

A friend picks me up and we go to a pizza joint to eat. Everything seems artificial, commercialized, and corporate/government ran. Still I see the Flow/Being within society, but it's covered up, manipulated by ego/mind to fit it's own molds and concepts of how things should be. In retrospect, everything now looks slow, lacking, dirty, superficial. The truth is there, but most don't see the sublime. Rushing and wrapped in roles, the present moment is entirely missed, instead people have replaced this with; "what might one day be if only I can ____(fill in the blank)!"

This was a set of diary posts from my 21 day solo retreat in the woods. I can only imagine the further changes that would occur if I was to go the full 40 like Jesus did.

All that to say, that there is something to, letting go of the bias bubbles we've all created by being wrapped up in the necessities of catering to society and our own ego's. By tempering that, with going into solitude, into the wild for a set amount of time, that bias bubble pops, and for that set amount of time, you find certain things about yourself, nature, Love, life, existence, that you would not otherwise find, things that remain with you for the rest of your life, things that the majority of people may not be aware of, but are most definitely there.

Food for thought perhaps, or the ramblings of a madman

Welcome to the real world my friend.

What did you eat?

Enjoyable read

Do you have anymore that you could post from your time in the dessert, you certainly sell the concept of removal from the norm in search of something more S&F

Great thread. Thanks very much for sharing your experiences and your interpretations of what you were going through.

You mentioned that you returned to society to fulfill several obligations -- are you planning on returning to this natural path when those are fulfilled?

reply to post by dominicus


I've gone about 7 days... With two uncooked potatoes and a towel.. Lol

Not 21 days but my experience was similar.. Isn't it odd that by leaving everything so we have nothing... Gives us, everything we were looking for?

In the Buddhist term, what you did is called renunciation. Try it once a year... It gets better and better... Next time, you can skip right to where you left off. After about 3 days.

reply to post by dominicus


Good read. I liked how you mentioned you still saw the love that was still there when you returned, albeit it was hidden. It's hard in remembering and seeing this when living every day life, but after an experience like that, I'm sure this will stay true for you for a long time.

Your post kind of sums up what I have told people on here a few times now. When the complain about their life I always said to turn off the computer and go outside and get with nature.

You took a crash course and saw the results. I don't live totally alone in a bat infested camper but I live in a very small town in the middle of a national forest. I spend more time outdoors alone yearly than most people do in a lifetime.

Fast life and cities wear a person down mentally & emotionally and you don't have to isolate yourself to reap the benefits.
Moving to a very small town and living a greatly slowed down lifestyle is remarkable for your mental health.

There's a reason all these crazy people, school shootings, murders and crap happen in more populated areas.

Believe me or not. It's really irrelevant but it's true.

reply to post by dominicus


Reading your experience made my soul cry out. I clearly 'see' what you are referring to and know that all those things that we occupy our lives with moment by moment are the very snares that trap our souls inside the lies that cover up the truth. These snares comprise the sickness we have become and accept as normal.

Your reference to releasing the things of the ego in temptation with the truth once every diversion is removed is a stark realization. I have often yearned to live a life outside of all this crap because I know and see the lies all about me and what is worse, I see how I myself have been trapped inside this delusion which feeds everything that is the lie inside me.

Your account truly makes me want to walk away from it all, but then I ask myself what use would I be to the world if I lived only for me? Or maybe then I would actually be of more use?

Thank you so much for the gift you just gave me.

reply to post by dominicus


Somewhere around day 8-9, things began to make sense. Society seemed artificial.


This should have been apparent without the re-enactment, but hey...


Glad you had a blast.

reply to post by dominicus


Much more likely ramblings of a mad man than food for thought.

Just answering since you asked.

Must be vegan

reply to post by dominicus

Food for thought perhaps, or the ramblings of a madman

Not mad at all. Different perspective to be on the "outside, looking in". Everyone should take that plunge, face the void. Its best if done with nothing to fall back on, but that might be too intense for some.

I can only imagine the further changes that would occur if I was to go the full 40 like Jesus did.

Why don't you find out? Plan a longer trip . Get past the sirens call of "obligations" and see what happens. It might not take 40 days for you, each person is different. You were obviously on the right path.

Thanks for sharing your experience.
When I was younger I would do something similar,but not as long.
Now the responsibility of family has consumed my life,which there is nothing wrong with that I love what I have created,but I miss that connection with myself and the natural world.

I need a refresh button to be activated.

reply to post by dominicus


Jesus said," Follow me ". You've done well to raise my consciousness and my curiosity of taking what he said so literally. Forty days is quite a spell.

Thanks for posting this in a big way. Not the ravings of a mad man. Maybe so at Forty.

Thank you for sharing.

That sounds so good right about now. It is too easy to be caught in this current we call "life". I live a life of pretty much solitude but with all the "stimulations" that "society" has to offer. It does not make me feel anymore whole. In fact, it feels like holes.

It takes some real huevos to do what you did. Many people her might say it didn't, but just the thought of it seems like an impossibility.

I envy you right now.

For a long time now, I've felt that this entire world is artificial. I still feel that way. I've never gone out into the woods or anything like that, but I can kind of sense your feelings.

I'm interested in the engagement you had with the squirrels...

Wonderful you've experienced life as it's meant to be.

It could inflate one's ego to be considered a madman. Hmm. Cubs walk with a lighter foot than their adult counterparts. Oh, the very rhetoric.

Great post, thank you for sharing. During fasts, when the body nears a purified state, the mind is on such a high level that the subconscious mind becomes very active and sharp. One can experience the supernatural with ease. Being in, and connecting with nature during a fast is the way to go