I know this is ridiculous but I'm looking for a father figure..

I know this is ridiculous but I'm looking for a father figure to mentor me. My parents are currently divorced and I don't see my father very often. My grandfather is old and dying. I really need someone in my life who will be there for me. I'm just looking for someone to email and chat with. Please reply or message me, thank you.

reply to post by babybowrain


Mail away

Originally posted by babybowrain
I know this is ridiculous but I'm looking for a father figure to mentor me. My parents are currently divorced and I don't see my father very often. My grandfather is old and dying. I really need someone in my life who will be there for me. I'm just looking for someone to email and chat with. Please reply or message me, thank you.

It's like reading a message from myself 20 years ago.

It's a hard life ahead, that's for sure. You will endure though, because you have to.
Look inside yourself for the strength, it's there, & it's an endless supply.

reply to post by babybowrain




thats about the best ur gonna get from the internet. i strongly recomend to not go on the internet to look for "friends" it will not end well. please consider my advice in the matter there are phycos out there

Have you tried Big Brothers of America through the United Way?

Your grandfather is old and dying? Well man up and hang out with him as much as you can! Ask him about his history and the things he loved as a youth. You may find out he met some interesting people, and had some really cool personal experiences. Old is just age, duffus, it doesn't mean a person's awareness of themself has changed one bit. He still has the same awareness of his instant-by-instant life as he did when he was 10, or 19, or 30, or 68. Just go talk to him, make sure he's hydrated (most old people are dehydrated, well, most people are dehydrated). You want a father figure? There, I was one for a minute, now I slap you on the back of your head and say "Hang out with your grandfather, at least twice a week, and really talk to him."

Originally posted by JibbyJedi

Originally posted by babybowrain
It's a hard life ahead, that's for sure. You will endure though, because you have to.
Look inside yourself for the strength, it's there, & it's an endless supply.

It's a hard life ahead? It's a wonderful life ahead. Live, love, and dance like you've never danced before.

Originally posted by Aleister
Your grandfather is old and dying? Well man up and hang out with him as much as you can! Ask him about his history and the things he loved as a youth. You may find out he met some interesting people, and had some really cool personal experiences. Old is just age, duffus, it doesn't mean a person's awareness of themself has changed one bit. He still has the same awareness of his instant-by-instant life as he did when he was 10, or 19, or 30, or 68. Just go talk to him, make sure he's hydrated (most old people are dehydrated, well, most people are dehydrated). You want a father figure? There, I was one for a minute, now I slap you on the back of your head and say "Hang out with your grandfather, at least twice a week, and really talk to him."

I completely agree with this. My kids are teenagers now, but they get a real kick out of hearing about life/experiences when I was their age.

reply to post by Aleister


Personally I think your comment is a little harsh.
My grand-dad is 84 and in hospital right now. He's had a stroke and three brain aneurysms. He's pretty much in control of all his faculties, but he doesn't want to be in hospital. He cries because he wants to go home. And then sometimes he will suddenly just 'clock out'. One minute you're talking to him and he's answering you fine, the next his mind has wandered else where, he doesn't realise you're talking to him and he's asking you why your uncle and the cat are. He attempted to escape last night, and was found on another ward.
Illness and death are scary to those who have not encountered them before.
And if you've never been close to the dying person, the OP may feel awkward suddenly wanting to sit down and talk to his grandfather. Perhaps he's not able to hold a conversation with him.
Don't shoot him down for (possibly) being scared. Build him up and listen to him before you tell him to man up.
Clearly the OP wants help, otherwise he wouldn't be turning to some random people on the internet to find it.

OP, I'm not even a man, so I can't be your father figure, but if I can help with anything, I'll be happy to talk to you too

He is too ill to speak to me, he just sits there all the time sleeping. And he never particularly liked me anyway since childhood.

Originally posted by babybowrain
I know this is ridiculous but I'm looking for a father figure to mentor me. My parents are currently divorced and I don't see my father very often. My grandfather is old and dying. I really need someone in my life who will be there for me. I'm just looking for someone to email and chat with. Please reply or message me, thank you.

Please try to understand that you already have everything you need to live a full, rewarding life. You have a heart and a mind that will take you through life experiences in your very own way. You will come to understand things in a way that is your very own.

What is a father figure? Well, a father figure is a lie. TV and movies always seem to portray fathers as the guys with all the answers. This couldn't be further from the truth. Fathers are human, meaning they have to struggle for answers just like everyone else. Fathers make mistakes, LOTS of mistakes. Why? Because there's no school for learning how to raise kids or how to be a good dad. We have to wing every bit of it and hope for the best.

I never met my father, so I too looked for a father figure. I didn't find him until I married. I absolutely LOVED my father-in-law. I tried to emulate his movements, his temperament, and his way of communicating with others. But, at some point along the way I realized that while I was trying to be him, I wasn't being ME. This means that, psychologically speaking, I killed myself.

We don't need a father figure. What we need in this life is our very own goals. We need life lessons, and an education to help us understand our experiences in a way that makes it fulfilling and not a repetitive, destructive thing that we never learn from.

Best of luck to you.

thank you, that was very helpful...

reply to post by babybowrain


Hey man, I'm a girl so I can't exactly offer the help you seek but I want to give you mad props for recognizing the fact you even need a mentor and using avenues available to you to find one. Smart move. I sincerely hope you find the one you seek.

All you have to do is Skype

a reply to: babybowrain

Message me back please

a reply to: EvanB

Can you please message me