Little Timmy and Santa Claus - A special look!

Ever wonder what kind of letters and exchanges the Big Guy up North has to deal with? Ever wonder how Mr. Claus has had to adapt to a world full of rather rough young folks the presents still need delivered to? Well... I happen to come across a sensitive series of communciations between a little boy named Timmy and Santa himself! Here, take a peek....

_____________________________

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy Jones

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Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus

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Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,

Tim Jones

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Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus

_____________________________

Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone

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Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your # wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

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Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy

_____________________________

Timmy,

That's what I thought, you little bastard.

Santa


Awww... See? These things always work out how they are supposed to in the end. People just need some time and privacy to see eye to eye on reality, that's all.

Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

It's all about the negotiations and who blinks first.

Peace

Tough crowd for humor around here lately.... Hmpf.

Originally posted by Wrabbit2000
Tough crowd for humor around here lately.... Hmpf.

Relax,

I, and many others understand exactly what you mean and what this thread is about.

Unfortunately, the 2012-Doomsday-disarming of America threads are taking over.

Shills....you betcha.

We just have to weed through the shills/trolls and work towards the truth.

Peace