"I am Adam Lanza's mother"

reply to post by authortobe


Do the therapist in your field consider the chemical imbalances that can and do occurr from being nutrient deficient?

reply to post by Witness2008


I totally agree...back in my youth there were no drugs issued to children like today, and all through my school years, I can say that I never heard of or saw ONE person that you could imagine would need the 'candy' handed out today!

Something has definitely changed in the 'water' (food chain) over the last 30 or so years.

I'm just thankful that I have two wonderful, loving, well adjusted and stable children, that I believe will never need to go through the anguish I went through in my early years.

Originally posted by SpaceJockey1
reply to post by Witness2008

 

I totally agree...back in my youth there were no drugs issued to children like today, and all through my school years, I can say that I never heard of or saw ONE person that you could imagine would need the 'candy' handed out today!

Something has definitely changed in the 'water' (food chain) over the last 30 or so years.

I'm just thankful that I have two wonderful, loving, well adjusted and stable children, that I believe will never need to go through the anguish I went through in my early years.

How many parents work in your family? Do you or your wife stay home? I think that is a big difference today as opposed to years ago. Problem is most families won't survive unless both work. If both don't work then they are considered lazy. Strange world we live in when work is considered a higher priority than raising a family

Originally posted by Neopan100
Already tiring of this "mental illness" crap..it sounds like that kids needs some serious discipline! If it were my child I would calmly lay down the rules and then the consequences..and the consequences WOULD not be taking away electronics..it would be a one way ticket to military type school where his a$$ would learn some respect.

Sorry but I find a lot of 'mental illness' to be complete and utter BS! Parents seem to be lacking parental skills.

Wow. This is the most ignorant comment I think i've EVER read on ATS. Yes, there are a lot of children that have been wrapped in cotton wool and do need a good kick up the butt to get their behaviour improving, but really, it's obvious you've not been around someone who has suffered from a mental illness. My fiance was the same before he met myself and my family "no such thing as depression, just people seeking attention" needless to say, after living with me, he fully understands. Why don't you get yourself out there and volunteer with some of the "mentally ill" maybe your world view with change, and you might learn some empathy.

Originally posted by sparky31
mentally ill?yeah thats all we hear about from this shooting,how many mentally ill people in britain have went out and shot up a school in last 10 years?......enough said

I thought guns were illegal in Britian- the police don't have weapons either do they? I heard stabbings are big over there. Nicely educate me if I am wrong.

Originally posted by jlafleur02

Originally posted by SpaceJockey1
reply to post by Witness2008

 

I totally agree...back in my youth there were no drugs issued to children like today, and all through my school years, I can say that I never heard of or saw ONE person that you could imagine would need the 'candy' handed out today!

Something has definitely changed in the 'water' (food chain) over the last 30 or so years.

I'm just thankful that I have two wonderful, loving, well adjusted and stable children, that I believe will never need to go through the anguish I went through in my early years.

How many parents work in your family? Do you or your wife stay home? I think that is a big difference today as opposed to years ago. Problem is most families won't survive unless both work. If both don't work then they are considered lazy. Strange world we live in when work is considered a higher priority than raising a family

If you think about it the reason for this is that the price of everything went up and our wages didn't. So we pay corporations more money for what we need and they pay us less to make it. The difference went into the rich mans pocket. Greed of the 1% is what is doing this. Do you think their kids go to public schools. They don't care if there isn't enough money to secure schools. They want to line their pockets while we have less and less each day.

reply to post by jlafleur02


Well, I was the stay at home Dad for the early years of our children's lives (until they both reached school age).

Maybe I did something right, but not 100% sure what

Having a child that has issues is very hard. You never know what is going to greet you when you come through the door. Everyday is a different day. It wears on the whole family, it is so exhausting but it was worse to think of medicating a child till they were zombie like. I don't know what happened in the Lanza house but I do know that mental illness is real and that true mental health care is seriously lacking.

Well, that was a very conflicting read for me. I understand her struggle but at the same time, that woman needs to learn how to deescalate a situation. The way she spoke to him about the pants was silly. It was just "Cause you can't". She never explains why. This is a problem parents have-Tell the kid why and they will probably back down a bit. As for his threats, were they serious or was he acting out to get attention? It's a question only she can really answer.

Boys are harder to raise than girls. I am curious regarding the gender of her other two children. I'm willing to guess they are girls. They are also young and haven't hit puberty. This kid is 13 years old, hitting puberty and probably raging with hormones. It's probably a big part of the problem. I think she is being hyperbolic comparing him to a mass murdering psycho. Considering this boy is vocally angry, I don't really think he's on the lone nut killer path. Most of those souls internalize their anger, this one acts out. That alone makes him different. If he is so intelligent than why hasn't she moved to provide him more intellectual challenges? Perhaps that would help with his problems which may also stem from boredom. Give him a physical outlet, tire him out. Lord knows that's what I have to do with my kid and he's only two. He's a terror if you don't run him around for at least two hours.

Either way, I think it's a bit rich to just give up on your kid, call him a future killer and toss him to the funny farm.

Originally posted by antonia.
Either way, I think it's a bit rich to just give up on your kid, call him a future killer and toss him to the funny farm.

I get your post but having said that, I can also emphasize with her position now, as Michael is reaching an age where he'll soon be able to over-power her, and that means she might not be able to protect the two younger children.

Once again when you have never had to deal with these issues, it's seems that there are 'answers' when looking from the outside in, but it's never anywhere near that clear-cut.

What we've seen over the last 20 years is a move to get people out of (or not into) mental care, and just given pharma solutions, and that for all we know might be causing an even great problem, such as potentially making some people even more destructive.

Regarding gun control, it's interesting that here in New Zealand it's still not that hard to get a license for a rifle & shotguns (no handguns here), but most murders still get carried out with knives and 'blunt' instruments. And as mentioned in the UK, since guns were banned, there's been a big increase in knife deaths (what I haven't researched is whether they are being committed by the criminals or the mentally ill).

Originally posted by SpaceJockey1


Once again when you have never had to deal with these issues, it's seems that there are 'answers' when looking from the outside in, but it's never anywhere near that clear-cut.

I have dealt with it at several points in my life. I'm not an expert, but I've suffered myself (with OCD never violent outbursts). I have also dealt with friends who had issues like this. I am not saying you can yell it away but, I don't think she's very good at talking this kid down. It was an art I had to learn in dealing with some of the people in my life. maybe she'll figure it out. I usually just started out with "I'm sorry....".

reply to post by antonia
From your post it sounds like she should have shipped off the other two and dedicate herself 24/7 to her son. That is what it would take- 24/7 supervision, stimulation and explaining and re-explaining why he has to wear the proper pants (he is 9). Here is my opinion on the pant issue: Her son knew what he was required to wear and he knew why. He wanted/needed the fight, the argument- I don't know why but at times some of these children can't help it, they can't stop the urge to defy, they can't stop the need to hurt with words. It is like something else is driving them. Many know right from wrong but they can't stop, they need the escalation and the more you fail to respond with an argument back the harder they try to anger you.

reply to post by AuntB


No, according to the article he is 13, the other kids are ages 7 and 9.

He wanted/needed the fight, the argument- I don't know why but at times some of these children can't help it, they can't stop the urge to defy, they can't stop the need to hurt with words.

Oh, he knows why. He may not consciously be able to express it but he knows exactly why he does it. For many teenagers it's about attention, specifically the lack of it. This is a woman who works 8 hours a day and then has to split the rest of her time between her 4 kids. Someone is going to get left out. This doesn't make her a bad person, but it probably is feeding a lot of the kid's problem.

Originally posted by antonia

Originally posted by SpaceJockey1


Once again when you have never had to deal with these issues, it's seems that there are 'answers' when looking from the outside in, but it's never anywhere near that clear-cut.

I have dealt with it at several points in my life. I'm not an expert, but I've suffered myself (with OCD never violent outbursts). I have also dealt with friends who had issues like this. I am not saying you can yell it away but, I don't think she's very good at talking this kid down. It was an art I had to learn in dealing with some of the people in my life. maybe she'll figure it out. I usually just started out with "I'm sorry....".

She can't talk her kid down period. This mother has her eyes wide open, she knows her child and she has taught her other children safety tactics, she went and collected weapons and sharp objects because she is not deluding herself. To me that says she is being realistic.

reply to post by AuntB


So you were in the house with her then? You saw the whole thing? You seem quite willing to take her at her word. I think that's the bridge we can't gap here-I'm not willing to.

reply to post by SpaceJockey1


If you have mentally disabled people in your home, what in gods good name are you doing with an arsenal of automatic weapons in the same house?

This kid clearly new where they were, how to get to them, how to use them.

You insane, psychopathic yanks...

Its like leaving young teenage girls in the house of a sexual offender.

GUNS is the number one issue that needs to be addressed.
Mental health is an issue too, but im willing to bet the USA drug companies rammed various pills down this kids throat.

America has completely lost its social fabric, it only gets worse from here.

First, Obama will try to limit weapons, all the red neck crazy mofo's will scream bloody murder.
Next, Fox news and the republicans will play advocate, chastize Obama for not doing enough, but stone wall him in congress because their NRA backers dont want to lose profits.

America makes me sick!

reply to post by Agit8dChop


Why do you say 'insane psychopathic yanks'?

Worldwide there are approx 280 million psychopaths and most show no outward signs, so you wouldn't even know...until it's too LATE

You don't mention your country of origin so I'm curious, as if I knew and did some research, I'm sure I'd be able to find plenty to apply some relevant labels.

Originally posted by antonia
reply to post by AuntB

 

So you were in the house with her then? You saw the whole thing? You seem quite willing to take her at her word. I think that's the bridge we can't gap here-I'm not willing to.

I wasn't there but I know her words. I can feel everything she said and I know there are people on here who feel it also. At age nine her son is already upping his reactions to threatening violence and all she gets is a bottle of pills. The mental health profession is a guess. They give a drug and hope it sticks. Why are they now giving bi-polar people drugs that used to be just for schizophrenics? Why are all these drugs that were supposed to be the 'it' now having long term effects that exacerbate the condition?

I am willing to say you and I will never agree on this, never. That is okay because I understand she is saying the system in the mental health area is broken, help is not there. We as a country made sure birth control and abortions are free for all who need or desire but mental health is swept under the rug. Someone above mentioned a hospital that used to have thousands of patients but now only has a few hundred, Remember insurance companies and big pharm are very powerful, it is not profitable to have people hospitalized and properly treated so they can function properly.

reply to post by AuntB

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

Again, he is not 9, he is 13.

I don't disagree there is much to be desired in our mental health care system, but mental health is really in it's infancy. You can't expect it to be perfect. It certainly does beat the days of icepick lobotomies, hysterectomies and beatings. I also think it's really horrible to take someone away from their family if you can help it. Many of you want that for this child. I think it would just make him worse in the end. We have gotten to the point where we can prove some mental illness are due to differently structured brains (such as OCD and schizophrenia). It will get better. Access will improve to when people in this country stop crying "Socialism" whenever someone tries to improve it. This woman is dying for the right pill when she needs to find the right CBT regimen for her son.

reply to post by SpaceJockey1


Why do I say psychopathic yanks? You need to ask?

-- CHARDON, Ohio, February 27, 2012 - A student opened fire in a cafeteria at Chardon High School, killing three students and injuring two others before he was arrested.

-- HUNTSVILLE, Alabama, February 12, 2010 - A University of Alabama professor opened fire at a faculty meeting, killing three colleagues and wounding three.

-- DEKALB, Illinois, February 14, 2008 - A former graduate student killed five students at Northern Illinois University before killing himself.

-- BLACKSBURG, Virginia, April 16, 2007 - A student killed 32 students and faculty at Virginia Polytechnic and State University in the worst single act of gun violence in U.S. history.

-- NICKEL MINES, Pennsylvania, October 2, 2006 - An armed dairy truck driver selected the female students at a one-room Amish schoolhouse and shot them execution-style, killing five. The man then shot himself.

-- RED LAKE INDIAN RESERVATION, Minnesota, March 21, 2005 - A 16-year-old high school student killed seven people and wounded several others in a shooting rampage after first killing two others off campus. He then killed himself.

-- TUCSON, Arizona, October 29, 2002 - A failing student shot and killed three professors and then himself in a rampage at the University of Arizona School of Nursing.

and lets not forget..

December 14, 2012
Newtown, Conn. Adam Lanza, 20, killed 20 children and six others at the Sandy Hook Elementary School. He killed his mother, Nancy, at her home prior to the massacre at the school. Lanza committed suicide after the rampage. The shooting was the second deadliest in U.S. history, behind the 2007 shooting at Virginia Polytechnic Institute that claimed 32 people.

Crazy, psychopathic Americans and their love for murdering innocent kids and students in schools.

I have yet to see any other country experience such senseless slaughter.

Half the people on ATS say its the fault of the parents. Its the fault of the system.

Bull bloody plop.

What kind of civilised society needs shops like these:



If you want to be allowed to 'breed' and raise little psycho's like this



Then you absolutely must shut down your gun shops.

But lets be honest here, its never going to happen is it.

Your lust for bullets and bombs doesn’t stop when your dropping them on other countries, Ie IRAQ, Afghanistan, Somalia and Libya.. you cant be content with murdering innocent people in their own country, you need to allow it here.

Thank god your KKK... whoops, I mean your NRA pays off the republicans millions of dollars in bribes and purchases to ensure anyone who tries to stop gun sales in the USA is stone walled in congress.

Agh it makes me so friggen angry, every time I see someone with 2 brain cells believe its their divine intelligence to suggest guns aren’t the problem.

Australia had 1 gun massacre, automatic weapons were banned and we never had another one again.

If people were the issue, we'd have found other means to massacre each other.

As for you Americans, you seem to get off over high powered weapons and senseless slaughter..

.. atleast thats the impression im getting from various ATS Members

/rant!

edit,
My country?

... I have no doubt New Zealand has mentally ill people. I also have no doubt we'd never allow a bushmaster assault weapon shop to open up in Papatoetoe.

why?
because we arent psychopathic nut cases who drool over weapons that destroy entire communities.