Why do girls all come at once?

reply to post by sweetstuff

Do you really want to be the rebound guy she falls back on because she doesn't want to be alone? Not to mention you said earlier that she had a significant other and basically cheated with you, if I understood you correctly.

No, no, she was very proper. Both of us knew what it would be like if the circumstance was different, but nothing happened between the two of us..

reply to post by boncho


that was an interesting double entendre title there buddy... first off... you don't have to get married and if your even considering the second girl then you don't love and shouldn't marry the first.. it's that simple. Spending you life with someone means a commitment you can't back out of when another girl turns your head.. you are no where near ready for the real thing.

Originally posted by gnosticagnostic
reply to post by boncho

 

that was an interesting double entendre title there buddy... first off... you don't have to get married and if your even considering the second girl then you don't love and shouldn't marry the first.. it's that simple. Spending you life with someone means a commitment you can't back out of when another girl turns your head.. you are no where near ready for the real thing.

I'm not jumping or pining for marriage. All I am saying is that I know its around the corner whether I like it or not. One of the reasons being that I actually put way more into relationships than I used to. All the girls I have dated were interested in marriage, but I haven't been.

Knowing that things are changing and my view is changing, I can make a judgment call and say that sooner rather than later I will start considering it. I never even considered it before...

I think you should go with the girl you'll worship and admire the most. Us girls truly love being worshiped in a relationship. Do not settle, as the saying goes ' life's to short for Sh!!' I think you will know which one sends your heart a flutter a bit quicker. She be the one. Nothing wrong with listening to the other parts of your body for a sign.
You can not enter a serious relationship with one and still be wondering about another. Either get over her or on her

reply to post by boncho


I read that girls are interested in guys who have other girls interested in them. So maybe when you were talking to your long-distance relationship about getting back together, your voice and body language sent signals to the other girls and they all of a sudden realized they had to step up their game.

That would be the science behind it.

reply to post by feelingconnected


I've treated every girl I've ever been with like gold. Sometimes I can be a little hard headed, but it's usually for the best in the long run. I don't like having negative relationships in my life whether or not it's a significant other.

As far as worshiping, that's good and bad. I believe a girl deserved to be treated like that, but not to the point they will take advantage of it or not appreciate it. Girls need affection, attention and support yes, but if they walk all over their man they will be looking for someone who will lay their foot down once in awhile.

Same goes for men too.

I like woman that give constructive criticism... That encourage you to do better for yourself by setting high standards.. At the same time, I still want to be pampered once in awhile.

reply to post by mblahnikluver

YES it will probably hurt someone but you have to be happy first otherwise you can't make someone else happy. You don't want to settle and wonder "what if."

Problem here is that I don't feel like I'm settling in any way if I choose either of them. Both girls are amazing in many ways. Both have about the same amount of good qualities.

These two are at the top of a long list of girls I've either dated or had friendships with over the last 2 years. They outshined all of them.

I guess the alternative is you leave the space program, head up north, and we ride off into the sunset together MBlah... And I'll just forget about them.
I mean, now that the shuttle program is gone, what's really keeping you there?

Now this one you'd been swooning over or waiting for does she feel the same way? Does she want long term or is she just looking to fill a void now as in rebound? Trust me again, been the rebound and was blind to it til later and it SUCKS.

No worries like that. They are all looking for long term. I wouldn't even see it as a rebound either. We talked about the possibilities and it wouldn't even manifest instantly. If the choice is made I'd still have to wait months before we made things official. Or before any physical relationship developed.

reply to post by boncho


I should probably clear up what I ment, if you truly love a women. No other women will ' seriously' temp you. Yes we all look and wonder from time to time. But to worship and Admire in a way I ment, will only make your part of the bargin easier. Not for her to take advantage. If you have serious feelings for another women, the relationship will take a hell of a lot of work. Good luck

Eta: of course a man deserves the same admiration. I really didn't mean bow to her every whim and request.

reply to post by boncho


I think you need plenty of time in a real relationship... a very very long one lol... and no it's not necessary to marry (you want that) it's not something you HAVE to do.

Originally posted by feelingconnected
reply to post by boncho

 

I should probably clear up what I ment, if you truly love a women. No other women will ' seriously' temp you. Yes we all look and wonder from time to time. But to worship and Admire in a way I ment, will only make your part of the bargin easier. Not for her to take advantage. If you have serious feelings for another women, the relationship will take a hell of a lot of work. Good luck

Love is too strong for me. It takes years for me to love someone. In this case, I'm just weighing the options of how I plan out my love life so I don't rush into anything too quickly, or make choices that wont be beneficial to me in the long run.

In the past I would just jump into something chasing after the early love/lust feelings, then realizing the girl wasn't even a really good fit for me. But then it changes you a bit because you see a bunch of qualities that are good, which went unnoticed before. Ultimately though, not working out because it wasn't a good match to begin with.

Originally posted by gnosticagnostic
reply to post by boncho

 

I think you need plenty of time in a real relationship... a very very long one lol... and no it's not necessary to marry (you want that) it's not something you HAVE to do.

I've had relationships over the 5 year mark. I have supported a family (the ex's not mine), I have done dad duty (with young relatives that lived with us for more than 2 years), and all the rest of that. My friendships are in the 20 year mark. As far as relationships, I'm willing to start one now that turns into something close to the friendships I have (in length and stability).

Since the last long relationship though, I kept everything casual. I didn't want to get back into anything serious. Now that I've had my fun running around playing Don Juan, I'm open to a more involved relationship again. I'm not saying I'm ready to propose, or anything along the lines. I'm just saying that now I will at least hear out the idea. And given that, I have a good sense of what will happen because of it.

The half dozen or so relationships in the last two years where they told me they wanted to be exclusive, or that they wanted to move in, or anything else along those lines, I simply exited stage right as fast as possible. (I was clear up front I wasn't looking for that.)

If "fling girl" has been faithful (at least to your arrangement) and it has grown from there, then stick with her. Untouchable girl is only looking to the bench because she lost her first string. Don't even consider her - she'll dump you as soon as someone "better" comes along. Mark my words, buddy.

reply to post by boncho


oh wow.. ok i've read more of the thread now.. so your like 40ish i'm guessing..Are you my ex? You sure sound like him lol. HOnestly, i've only met one person my entire life that I wanted to be with.. that I knew that was the person for me.. unfortunately after 2 rounds it never worked out that way.. so I guess I was way off l honestly, I don't know how one makes a logical decision when it pertains to the heart.

I would consider your options.
It sucks,I know.
Just don't tell my wife.

The holidays are here ,so the women start clamoring for a mate to be there with them.
There is only so much Boncho to go around,so you need to work on the scheduling .
You need to categorically organize these women based on your needs and feelings towards them.
What do you want and how do they meet those needs.
And learn how to say no!

Go with what feels the most natural to you to be with.Without all the bull# and conflict.

Peace,
K

Originally posted by kdog1982
I would consider your options.
It sucks,I know.
Just don't tell my wife.

The holidays are here ,so the women start clamoring for a mate to be there with them.
There is only so much Boncho to go around,so you need to work on the scheduling .
You need to categorically organize these women based on your needs and feelings towards them.
What do you want and how do they meet those needs.
And learn how to say no!

Go with what feels the most natural to you to be with.Without all the bull# and conflict.

Peace,
K

Thats whats wrong with this world, it's always about "me". Me first, me this, me that. I always tried to consider how the other person felt and then myself. If we got along great, i'd ask myself if i could see myself with them 20 years down the road, if the answer was no, then the best option for both of us would be to not persue that relationship any further.

If your relationship is built on sex it will fail, because in the end when the going gets tough, there won't be anything there to hold onto and it'll end just like everything does in those relationships, with divorce.

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000
reply to post by foodstamp

 

The untouchable one is definatley the right answer.. Follow your penis.... He'll never let you down...

Ahh no.

God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time. Thinking with the little guy will always get you in trouble. The untouchable one is never the answer.

First come is first serve is what i always say.

Well, I would assume then you haven't lived long enough with the "safe bet" too regret you didn't go for the "untouchable".

Trust me, When your nearing the end of life, your gonna wanna be able to say, "At least I banged that one chick". Absolutley...

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000


If your relationship is built on sex it will fail, because in the end when the going gets tough, there won't be anything there to hold onto and it'll end just like everything does in those relationships, with divorce.

Ohh come on. That's so cliche. People who say that are SEVERELY underestimating the power of sex. Because a guy who's got a GF whom he thinks is REALLY hot and is having REALLY hot sex will do just about anything for her for a long long long time.... And enjoy it too..

reply to post by foodstamp


Well, that is true to an extent, but what happens when nature has run it's course and all of a sudden you are old and no longer hot? Nature has a funny way of making us all ugly in the end. In this I have the advantage, I've always been ugly and I can deal with it quite well, but other women...sucks to be them lol.

When your relationship is based on vanity (ie. she's hot) then what happens if she is no longer hot? Do you dump her and get another?

But, I don't judge you for what you feel really. We are all different. For some the conquest is more important than stability.

Originally posted by foodstamp

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000


If your relationship is built on sex it will fail, because in the end when the going gets tough, there won't be anything there to hold onto and it'll end just like everything does in those relationships, with divorce.

Ohh come on. That's so cliche. People who say that are SEVERELY underestimating the power of sex. Because a guy who's got a GF whom he thinks is REALLY hot and is having REALLY hot sex will do just about anything for her for a long long long time.... And enjoy it too..

edit on 12/6/1212 by foodstamp because: (no reason given)

No woman worth having is going to fall for a shallow man, a shallow woman perhaps. See the thing about sex is, when you've had enough it gets old and boring, there's only so much you can do until you've seen it all, had it all and done it all. If your relationship isn't grounded on a solid foundation, it'll sink into the sand and disappear. Trust me man, i've dated with more women than i care to remember and had sex with them. I've been down that road and it leads to nowhere.

reply to post by lonewolf19792000


Hey I understand and agree with you 90%/. The other 10% is the fact that, when the sex is all said an done. A big motivator to keep wanting to make her happy. Is the fact that she's still sexy... Of course there's other factors. Like she couldn't be just sexy but a cheater and can't raise children. There's other qualities yes. But, for a man, theattractiveness of their better half is a MAJOR factor in a long lasting relationship.


Is your better half an old ugly hag? I didn't think so...