Grandmother threatening legal action?

So, just wondering how my fellow ats members think I should handle this. My father passed away before I was out of my mothers womb, and my grandmother on dads side gave mom the only home video of him. She recently asked for it back, saying it was only loaned to us ( this was 21 years ago when she GAVE it to us). Tragically it seems to have been lost when we moved, as I have searched every unlabeled tape we have to no avail. I received this facebook message last night "I want to know why you won't bring me my videos I won't take it from you I want to have copies made if I don't get it I am going to talk to a lawyer in go to the next step, I asked long enough." Keep in mind ive already told her a few times I cannot find it. Thoughts, comments? Unsure of what I should do.

The obvious thing: Call your own lawyer and be prepared.

I know lawyers cost money. But sometimes you don't have a choice....

reply to post by Thesickness


Nothing she can do. Her word against yours it even existed. Shame it was lost though but these things happen. If it was on a VHS tape it would be lucky to play now anyway after all those years. Let her pay money for a lawyer, waste of her money, not yours....

I realize you've looked and looked OP, but this woman, for whatever reason, would like to see her son as he once was in life. Is there any possibity that the tape exists, but is being hidden from YOU? I ask because I wonder if there is any bad blood between your mom and your paternal grandmother, and because were I your mom, that tape would be in my lockbox, or somewhere equally sacred.

How old is your grandmother? If she could be described as "elderly", it may be time to make a visit. Often, when dimentia sets in, it manifests as aggression that often leaves us wondering "what was that about?".

reply to post by chasingbrahman


Hmm, I don't think it would be hidden from me, as ive checked my mothers locked chests and so on, we checked together. My grandmother is elderly, 68, but still fairly youthful and normally quite jubilant. I understand she would like to see the video, I would too, but I don't believe it can be found. I took time away from my college classes to search the house. Any tape that was found was stacked and viewed that day. I've even rechecked to be sure I didn't miss anything. She doesn't show any signs of dementia that I know of, aside from the onset of anger over the tape if thats related. I also visit her quite regularly. I hate she wants to take legal action. I'm unsure what she can do, but its quite stressful, as i'm paying my way through college on my own, I have no spare money for any legal fee's incurred. A final though on the matter though, seems odd that she would want to take legal action against the spawn of her son, over a video tape of her son. Very frustrating.

Well its a video, and as many who wish it should have it. Copy it. Thats one the great things about videos. VHS can be turned into digital and put on CDs/DVDs with a wintv card, they're quite cheap on Ebay.

Why fight over it. Moms and children/grandchildren, even cousins and best friends, all want to have those kind of mememtos and pictures.

Do this isntead:

vhs-to-dvd-converters-review.toptenreviews.com...


How to convert VHS tapes to DVD?


How to Convert VHS to DVD : Connecting VCR to Computer

Win/Win!

reply to post by Unity_99


This isn't the issue, the issue is that the tape simply can't be found, I believe it was lost when we moved houses. As I said it was a tragic loss, as I never got to know the man. If I did have the tape, I would give it to her no problem, as im sure its more sentimental to her since she has memories of him.

Originally posted by Thesickness
reply to post by chasingbrahman

 

...A final though on the matter though, seems odd that she would want to take legal action against the spawn of her son, over a video tape of her son. Very frustrating.

edit on 01/08/2011 by Thesickness because: (no reason given)

That's exactly what made me wonder - calling the police and filing lawsuits in the midst of innocent mistakes or misunderstandings is quite common with early-onset dimensia. But you know your grandmother much better than I. Just do me a favor and keep an eye out for any other behavior that seems uncharacteristic of your grandmother. Especially if she begins talking of people who are trying to take her things, such as money or precious valuables. Dimensia has a strong element of paranoia to it because there is an overwhelming confusion that leaves the one suffering to question their own perception. They stop trusting themselves, then everyone else.

My best to you and yours. I hope it all works out for the best.

reply to post by Thesickness


It's not illegal to have lost something.

I doubt the court would even see the case.

~Tenth

reply to post by Thesickness

In addition to the answer just above, which is right, the financial value involved is too small to be worth launching a suit. Any sensible lawyer would tell her this, if she got around to consulting one. So unless and until a formal legal letter arrives, I suggest doing nothing except keep looking. You can't give her what you haven't got.