Stronger The Darkside Is

reply to post by JibbyJedi


While there are plenty of nice women out there, the ones you will typically work with (as specially in the high professional arena), are mostly evil and self serving. And sometimes very vengeful..!!

I have the misfortune of being the victim of just such a bully throughout my career in my chosen Industry. Someone who has followed or tracked my movements from one organisation to another and used her looks, contacts and position to cause me one job loss or failed application after another, both in my own state and outside whereever/whenever she can find links.

All because she was caught bullying in one job and got the sack for it, blamed me for that and decided to continue to hurt me because of it... Using made up stories about being molested and creating chinese whispers is often all a pretty woman has to do to destroy a peer she dislikes.

Never get involved with female counterparts, either on the job or socially. Professional Women are pure evil..lol

Originally posted by Hefficide

Men and women really aren't that different. It's just a matter of communications. Ladies get hurt and they tend to curl up with the Ben and Jerry's for a few days and cry it out. Men? Well we usually end up drunk, half naked, and in a holding cell with taser points still embedded in our thighs - wondering where the Hell THAT tattoo came from and not exactly sure what city or state we might actually be in.

Or have I been doing it wrong?

~Heff

Been there a few times Heff. Never been tasered though. Copped a nightstick in the back of the head for barfing on a lady cop's shoes once though, but most likely well deserved. Woke up in the Brisbane Police station the next morning with little to no recollection of the previous night, with a guy I'd apparently gone all out with for some reason. We still chat today...

So no, quite right methinks...

Today's dating rituals are misleading and dangerous. We get our ideas on how to date from modern day TV and movies. We take our date out for dinner and a movie, maybe dancing but then later we expect something from that person; later on in the evening, right?

There really is no big secret in picking a mate or companion. You have to look for your companion where you would expect to find a good companion...... in your local church. Now before you start ranting and raving here me out. I know not everyone in church is a DREAM DATE but there are many young women and men who attend church whose hearts are in the right place and they too look for a stable partner.

Stop looking for partners in bars. Loose men and women are easy to find but finding a good companion takes hard work and paitence. Change the surroundings for your search and you will find a different person.

Good luck.

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by JibbyJedi

 

Dude, trust me when I say that if you could get in my head for just 30 seconds worth of past relationship memories, you'd likely need to get drunk for a month afterwards...

And then you'd think "Oh, God, and I thought I had it rough."

I've concluded that I must have really owed karma a LOT when I was born and promised to pay it back by being unavoidably and inextricably attracted by pretty, psychotic, immoral, and potentially homicidal females.

By the way, if you are reading this and match the above description, I am currently single and eager to pay my karmic debts.

~Heff

edit on 11/26/12 by Hefficide because: clarity

It's actually quite simple. There's something about you (in your past) that makes you repeat the same dysfunctional patterns and pick the same dysfunctional partners over and over. For decades, all the guys I fell in love with were cold and somewhat aloof, usually incapable of any kind of emotional intimacy and unwilling to commit. I was going crazy trying to figure out why I would repeat this crap again and again.

At some point I realized that I was basically dating my father. Growing up, I always found him distant and uninterested in anything to do with me, so subconsciously I kept picking guys like him and trying to "make" them love me, no matter what. Once I had that revelation, I could finally change the pattern... but that's what it took for me to find a healthy relationship and maintain it.

Look closely, guys -- if you always wind up with the same type of dysfunctional girlfriend, you may be dating your mom.

Oh, and if you believe that "all" women are this way, it's not because there aren't any good women out there -- it's because you keep attracting the same, screwed-up types and are surrounded by them.

All I can say right at this moment is I've been with my guys 17 yrs and it is A LOT OF WORK on BOTH parts. I am unbelievably happy where we are. People have to actually WORK through stuff.

All relationships are based on things like trust acceptance forgiveness and all aspects of relationships are negotiated between the parties in the relationship. Whether or not people realise it their actions are quite often determining the future outcomes in their relationships True love is about things like acceptance, trust, caring and forgiveness and not what a partner can do for you in a physical way. Many attractive females if they are of a fairly low vibration learn from a young age that their body will get them what they want so it is not surprising that they will use this to their advantage. A lot of men are seduced by a females sex appeal and do not look below the surface to see if she is really suitable in a deeper way. These men then whinge when they get used. The same could be said for women that chase rich men or men with other worldly appealing traits. A lot of people of both sexes go for things like sex appeal, money and image and wonder why it does not work. A partner will be right for someone because they are suitable for them in a spiritual way (not just christian) and not because of worldly influences. Many people are brought together to give each other lifes little lessons whether they like or learn from these lessons or not. If the right partner is chosen it can really enhance the life of both sexes and they can work together to gain a greater understanding of each other and build a very bright future together.

reply to post by JibbyJedi


You are either catastrophically unlucky, or you are subconsciously selecting for these women. Not because it's what you want, but maybe merely because it's what you're accustomed to. Or as a sink for your own self-loathing. Or because crazy = sexually permissive. Or any number of other reasons.

Either way, if you see a strong pattern in your relationship history, it's likely due to some terribad emotional coding you keep enacting. It seems unlikely in the extreme that your exes represent an accurate sample of the female population.

Originally posted by Hefficide

C'mon folks... the guy has a broken heart and being a bit bitter is not only natural, it's to be expected.

As far as crazy goes? We're all crazy in reality. Many of us don't openly acknowledge it or even realize it - but we all do stupid things. Like ladies... how many of you dated 47 different bad boys before you finally realized that bad boys aren't actually the knights in dark and mysterious armor than you once thought they were?

And how many of you who did, even now, sit around silently thinking "I had so much fun when I dated bad boys...." just before your sweet and innocent hubby walks by and blows you a kiss?

Men and women really aren't that different. It's just a matter of communications. Ladies get hurt and they tend to curl up with the Ben and Jerry's for a few days and cry it out. Men? Well we usually end up drunk, half naked, and in a holding cell with taser points still embedded in our thighs - wondering where the Hell THAT tattoo came from and not exactly sure what city or state we might actually be in.

Or have I been doing it wrong?

~Heff

HAHA!

Hef,

IMO you are doing it right.

I have to admit though....

I STILL LOVE BAD BOYS!!!!! What has changed as I have gotten older is I love bad boys who have grown up and are still bad but... not THAT bad. They HAVE to know how to treat a woman with respect.

There is excitement with a "bad boy" that you do not get with a "good" boy. I want both.... and there are times to be good... and times to be bad. Its a mature thing....

Originally posted by JibbyJedi
reply to post by 74Templar

 

Tell me your secret because nothing works for me... and yes, in a way i do allow it. I allow it because I care about them, I see their potential, and I believe in them that they can overcome this mental infection of insecurity, unworthiness, lying, deceit, distrust, and hormonal imbalances.

Here we go. Maybe you're dating these women because you hope to be able to make them better people. You find something broken, and you just can't resist the urge to fix it. It might seem noble, but it's not. It's also never, ever gonna happen.

We all have quirks that our partners will hopefully be patient with, but that doesn't mean your patience/doormat syndrome is going to help someone with a personality disorder. Don't date someone because of their "potential", just wait for someone already in relatively good condition, and direct all the energy you've been flushing down the toilet trying to fix crazy on making yourself a better person in the meantime. After all, it's better to be single than in a sheisty relationship, right?

I'd say, too, that while a lot of folks are pretty good at hiding the worst of their crazy early on, that as you near 40, I bet you are able to spot it before it actually begins to overtly manifest. So just don't let it play out: if you smell crazy, you go ahead and shut it down before it shuts you down.

question anyone noticing a lot of relationship issue threads popping up .....full moon tonight....oh that has nothing to do with it.

reply to post by JibbyJedi

Ah great another love lost nutter. K first there is no such thing as the light side and the dark side of the force, each and every person has both sides of it and more and all in varying degrees inside them, and what one would consider the light side can be the dark side to another and vice versa, so if you keep putting things in such boxes while at first it may be no biggie, over time it will be detrimental to seeing something as it is. Basically you got to see that there really is nothing broken with them, how they are, is who they are, and most likely who they will be in latter in life, and instead of changing them you would be best served I think if you try to find somebody who you tend to compartmentalize with better and work from there.

First and foremost men and women are two complete different animals, and not only that but also men and women live in two completely different dimensions in there heads, and by extension in the real world also, the real world being the interface between the two. So you will never see things eye to eye on anything, you may think you do, but that to is but an illusion. And so take any advice women give you on women with a grain of salt as its usually only half the equation if even that. And avoid the things you see on the TV most of those things were put there to drive wedges and disband the male female dichotomy over time not help it, for women it may work because frankly due to nature its not likely they women will not find dudes coming up to them and trying to get with them no matter who, what, or were they are. So they will be the last ones in on the joke. But for men it can be poisonous if you actually start believing it, because there is a great many discrepancy between what women say and what women do but those discrepancies will likely effect men more so then women in the linear sequence of such things. You dig?

I don't know how to describe the women who have devastated me over the past decade.... Sadistic, reptilian brained, PTSD ongoing, bipolar, manic, neurotic, retarded, psychotic, self destructive? You name it and I've endured it at some point this past decade.

Its not a question of enduring it anybody can endure anything, infact all of life is endured most time. Its more a question of is it worth enduring it all, often most times as in 90% of times the answer is NO it is not worth it. Maybe you need to look at your dark side, and find out what and why you think it is necessary for you to endure any and all of that, or even why you put up with it at all. Personally I think all that energy would be better spent in terraforming mars and venus and then shipping men to one and women to another, and then we can really be from two different planets as well.

Yet.... they all seem to think it's the other person's fault for THEIR erratic behaviors.

Actually it is your fault. But it is more fun to blame others so I say blame them.

Why are so many American women so GD broken mentally and emotionally? Why do they ALL take it out on the innocent guy who had nothing to do with their past?

For the same reason why any would get like that, because they got something they did not want, or worse they thought they wanted something that they got. And they take it out on the innocent guy, because they know you will put up with it. And once you put up with it, the whole thing just becomes a cycle which will likely not get better, but will get worse. Personally I would say just avoid them and they will move on to the thing they really are pulled toward and not attracted toward. There is a difference in the two and that difference is a grand canyon. And the rest really is what it is. And what it is? is none of your business. Because everybody makes there decisions and has to live by them. You can not change others, you can only change yourself, and even in that good luck.

I have been mentally & emotionally bruised, beaten, knifed, gutted, burned, & scarred by women who want to break a man down, just because they can. They aren't satisfied until they drink the tears of sweet sorrow for nourishment or at the very minimum, break the guy down to a Parkinson's nerve rattling. They FEED off of the negative energy they instigate and stimulate. What the Hell is that all about?

You said it yourself they feed off it. DUH

Is it possible that David Icke was right about reptilians locking in to the lower chakras and generating negative vibrations in order to then feed off the results?

Many things are possible, and of those many things that are possible only half are probable, and of those that are probable only a quarter are likely, and its likely that your just looking for excuses not answers. Such is usually what it is about, it sucks, believe me I know.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird

First and foremost men and women are two complete different animals, and not only that but also men and women live in two completely different dimensions in there heads,

And avoid the things you see on the TV most of those things were put there to drive wedges and disband the male/female dichotomy over time not help it,

Kinda like your advice huh?

No offense, I'm sure your intentions were good, but I don't think you helped the OP one damn bit. Of course men and women are different.Men pee standing up. Women don't ( At least the ladies don't) Women bleed once a month. Men don't. I could go on but I won't. You're not stupid, I'm sure you get it.

Love isn't rocket science. You don't go to school for 20 years to figure it out. It is like raising a child though in that there is no handbook spelling it out in black and white on how it's done. You go with your instincts and wing it. You have to. You really have no choice. And if you can't wing it, or have someone who has been been through it to help walk you through it, you're either going to be in for a rough ride or you're going to stop the car altogether. But that's ok because the best battles won are the hardest fought. But telling the OP that men are from Venus and women are from Mars isn't helping the cause much.

The trick is taking the difference of opinions and thought processes that make men men and women women, living with them so you can work through those differences to see more eye to eye on things. You turn your differences into similarities over time. Hence the term "growing together". If there's a mutual trust, understanding and respect between the two, it makes that job all the more easier. Through the time you spend doing that, you'll wake up and find out one day that you really do love the person. And that's where love comes from IMHO. The work it takes to get there.

Trying and trying to get to that point though can do one of two things: Strengthen your resolve and make you more determined then ever to find it......or make you throw your hands up in the air and say....................

"Screw this. it's too hard".

In either case, it hardens a person. You either get hardened to the world around you that tries to keep love out of your life, or you get hardened to the concept of love itself to the point where you think it's only for the luckiest among us, and that you don't fall into that category. As for THAT category, I aint going there. Giving up on love is like letting a big piece of you die. The piece that helps you get up in the morning and makes you WANT to do good things. So sorry, but I'm not going to die just to satisfy other people who have..........................

"Screw that. It's too easy"

reply to post by Taupin Desciple

Kinda like your advice huh? No offense, I'm sure your intentions were good, but I don't think you helped the OP one damn bit. Of course men and women are different.Men pee standing up. Women don't ( At least the ladies don't) Women bleed once a month. Men don't. I could go on but I won't. You're not stupid, I'm sure you get it.

Oh that is not what I am talking about, that above is quite obvious. What I was getting to is something infinitely more subtle but just as concrete if not more.

Love isn't rocket science. You don't go to school for 20 years to figure it out. It is like raising a child though in that there is no handbook spelling it out in black and white on how it's done. You go with your instincts and wing it. You have to. You really have no choice. And if you can't wing it, or have someone who has been been through it to help walk you through it, you're either going to be in for a rough ride or you're going to stop the car altogether. But that's ok because the best battles won are the hardest fought. But telling the OP that men are from Venus and women are from Mars isn't helping the cause much.

To each there own I suppose, but seeing as telling him otherwise seems to have not worked one iota I would say the proof is in the pudding. If what I said helps him great, if not then ditch it. It all depends on the person and were there at really.

"Screw this. it's too hard". In either case, it hardens a person. You either get hardened to the world around you that tries to keep love out of your life, or you get hardened to the concept of love itself to the point where you think it's only for the luckiest among us, and that you don't fall into that category. As for THAT category, I aint going there. Giving up on love is like letting a big piece of you die. The piece that helps you get up in the morning and makes you WANT to do good things. So sorry, but I'm not going to die just to satisfy other people who have.......................... "Screw that. It's too easy"

An interesting way to look at it, and I get it. But that is not really what I was talking about. And no its not easy, in fact its much much harder then the way you described so much so that the two are not really comparable even though they contrast. In all I was just offering a different viewpoint on something mostly to get the op thinking on some things that he may have overlooked. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Since his results seemed to be the same each and every time, doing it in whatever way he was going on about, well I would say its time to try a different approach and see if that does anything for him, if not. Then at least you know, some say luck it will come when you least expect it, others say don't give up and it will come, and yet others say its all trial and error till you find the one that works. In the end there all saying the same thing using different words and concepts defining the same thing.