What is happening to me? Insanity or something paranormal?

I've recently had a number of experiences that at times have left me doubting my own sanity. Although I was born into a cult religion (Jehovah's Witnesses), I spent my 20's as a staunch Atheist, thinking that the entire paranormal topic wasn't much more than wild imagination combined with people being gullible and superstitious. Now I just sort of don't know what to think about recent occurrences. I know some of this sounds patently ridiculous and that this is just my word, but it is what it is.

A few years ago I listened to an interview in which a professor by the name of Gary Schwartz claimed to have done double and triple blind tests on people that claimed to be "psychic", and got surprisingly successful results. Even though I never gave it much thought before, I did some research and decided to try out a handful of "reputable" psychics here in the NY metro area. Some were a terrible waste of money, and were less than convincing to put it mildly. Two of them, though, knew things that were not possible for them to know. This left me baffled and sort of shook my world view a bit. Since then I've read a number books and listened to many interviews on a wide variety of paranormal type stuff (not just psychic stuff). I'm loathe to remove my skeptic hat, but it certainly slips off my head at times.

Laborious background info out of the way...

Roughly 6 months ago I was sitting on my recliner, not really doing much of anything other than relaxing and staring into space after a stressful week of work. I'm not sure how to say this without sounding like a loon, but all of a sudden I heard someone with a voice that I didn't recognize saying something to me about the car I just purchased. Immediately this put me on high alert (as I thought I was home alone) and I snapped up out of the chair, but there was no one around and no TV, computer, or radio of any sort turned on.

This happened again a couple months later when I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep. I felt myself starting to doze, when again I heard someone mumble a few words then distinctly call me by my name. Again, I was instantly on high alert, checked out the house, and made sure the doors were locked - but heard nothing else.

Not more than few weeks passed when I had my first ever lucid dream. I never got why people made such a big deal about lucid dreams until then. In this dream I was being beaten and attacked by a group of people of varying ages, both male and female. I was in a hallway filled with furniture that I kept getting knocked into. I suddenly was 100% aware that this was a dream, but didn't wake up. The people (none of whom I knew) then backed off and stood before me. I couldn't believe what was happening, and was a bit in shock at first. The tall man in the center of the line then spoke to me, and it was a voice that was not my own. He said "we're going to keep you here forever" and then he and the others all turned their eyes solid black to seemingly intensify the hatred they had for me. Scary dreams are nothing new, but being fully conscious and in control of my actions made this feel way too real for comfort. I pretty much just froze for a few seconds, then felt myself getting angry over what they were doing to me. Feeling as though I had nothing to lose, I approached them and took a swing at the man who spoke for the group, at which point they all dissolved and I was able to wake myself. I didn't sleep well for a while after that.

Last month the voice phenomenon happened again, but for an extended period of time. I was awake in the middle of the night AGAIN, unable to sleep. As I do many times when I can't sleep - I put in some earbuds and find something to listen to on my iPhone. In this case, I was listening to a radio show when I noticed the recording had a man's voice with a thick European accent in the background. It got kind of annoying, and I was wondering why the radio host was being so careless with someone talking in close proximity to his mic. I turned up the volume and focused on the show, doing my best to ignore the background noise. It then dawned on me that it might not be something that was part of the show. I sat up, a bit startled, and replayed the last few minutes I had just listened to... and there was no one talking in the background this time. I used rewind, and checked again - still no voice. I didn't sleep the rest of the night and was just sitting there basically thinking "what the hell, am I losing it?".

As a child I had occasional bouts of sleep paralysis. They freaked me out a bit, but I never saw or heard anything weird and they eventually went away. Recently they've started again. Last Saturday night, unable to sleep as usual, I suddenly felt a weird sensation (similar to the feeling I've had the few times I was hypnotized) accompanied by a buzzing noise. When I tried to move - I couldn't. I tried to say something to my sleeping girlfriend next to me, but couldn't talk. I struggled for a couple moments before I was able to shake it all off, sit up, gasp for air and wake my girlfriend up.

Back on the topic of the two psychic/mediums that I couldn't find a way to dis-credit - I paid one of them a visit last week. I asked him the question "am I losing it, or is someone trying to talk to me?". His response was that a spirit (he called it a "guide") who "has been associated with me since birth" has been making "visitations" since I was 6 years old, and then changed the subject back to more mundane family topics. The skeptic side of me still has a hard time believing some of this stuff, so I didn't really know what to make of anything that he said TBH. Me from a few years ago would have said "that's stupid". None of this stuff makes sense to me, and I don't pass judgement as quick as I used to. So again, I just don't know.

Apologies for the long-winded post. Maybe I'm just stressed and not sleeping enough. Maybe I've read too many paranormal books and I'm imagining it all. Doubting your own first-hand reality is a disconcerting experience. Maybe I am just losing my mind.

Has anyone gone through anything similar? Are any of these topics familiar to any of you? Why on earth would these things flare up in such a pronounced manner when my life has basically been a rather dull affair? I don't take any prescription medication of any sort, nor do I use drugs. I drink sometimes, but none of these things ever happen when I'm gettin' my buzz on.

TL;DR - hearing voices when I relax, threatening black-eyed people talking to me in an all-too-real lucid dream, and the return of childhood sleep paralysis.

Any insights or feedback is appreciated.

I have schizo affective disorder and the way you described the "voices" are how some of mine can be so it would be easy for me to jump in and say that you might have a mental illness but I don't think that's fair and I'm not qualified to diagnose.

Also the frequency (very intermittent in your case) would lead me to think that it is not actual psychosis but again I am not qualified to diagnose.

It could be paranormal but it could be your mind reacting to some sort of trigger in your life, maybe emotional or stress. If the voices come more often or if they start instructing you to hurt yourself or others then I would recommend professional help of some sort.

Also the recurrence of sleep paralysis that you had as a child makes me think that you might be reacting to some sort of stress, emotional or otherwise. Can you think of anything along that line that could be affecting you?

*please don't think I'm telling you that you're schizophrenic, I'm just seeing if we can kind of gauge the likelihood that this is or isn't something in your mind , then it would be easier to see if maybe this is paranormal in origin.*

Are you in your 20's?
When you are more open to psychic abilities you attract attention on the astral. It would be wise to place some spiritual boundaries and protection in place. Smudging and asking to connect with your Higher Self is helpful. When you energetically go vertical for assistance the horizontal interference has a harder time seeping in.

reply to post by Miri08


I am stressed, but the last couple years have been the most stable and peaceful I've ever had. I'm in debt like everyone else, but I work in IT and it is steady and I have a great girl. There's been plenty of other times in the past that were way way more stressful: getting divorced in my mid 20's, saying good-bye to my family as they won't have anything to do with people who leave their cult, being unemployed, etc.

That being said, your point is a very valid one. If in fact I've developed any sort of schizophrenic disorder it certainly is something that I should treat. I'd imagine it takes a great degree of humility in admitting that you yourself have this, so thank you for your frank and honest reply.

reply to post by starshift


I am 32 at the moment. My current girlfriend is into tarot cards and feng shui and the like. She "sages" our house at times which she says is a protective type thing. I never gave it much credence, but I guess it can't hurt. Are there other things that one can do? She's never experienced anything weird like what I've been having, which is odd as if it is something metaphysical you'd think it would latch onto her instead of me.

What do you mean by asking to connect to higher self? Like praying or something of the sort? After leaving the cult I was raised in I never thought that I'd consider something like that again - but our world is a mysterious one. I've started reading about meditation, but haven't gotten very far with it yet nor do I practice it much. Maybe I'm a little apprehensive still as a recovering skeptic lol.

reply to post by facehole


It used to be hard to admit to people about my mental illness but I'm under treatment and very stable considering where I once was and I just figure I am what I am and if a person doesn't like it or can't handle it, that's their problem! lol

Well, you certainly can't rule anything out at this point but like I wrote before if these voices aren't impairing you and what not you could probably do some watchful waiting and explore the possible paranormal side of it. Just always be aware, I never want people to think I'm accusing them of being insane or anything I just want people to catch these things early. I feel like if I could have caught mine earlier it would of saved me from a lot of pain and suffering. I don't know a whole lot about the paranormal side of things but I really do hope you get some answers from those that do!

Yeah, it could be a disorder and then again you could be opening yourself up to the "paranormal" by consulting psychics. I'd be careful with the "Guide" thing and not be quick to trust that kind of "outside" help.

The spirit guide thing hasn't worked out so well for some friends of mine. Good luck and check out the following vids. The author that's interviewed in the series was named Joe Fisher. He was well regarded in the new age community and his books were well-recieved.

He eventually committed suicide after telling his publisher that the spirits he once communed with wouldn't leave him alone.

We are are all threatened and attacked when we sleep but the usual thing is to wake up, just as the problem gets completely out of hand in the dream. Read about The Archons, for some insight. We eat matter to create energy for ourselves but they eat energy to create form. They try to make us scared, so we will produce negative energy in our second chakra, which they eat. They will not eat positive energy. Try not to pursue the occult and I mean reading or Ouija boards etc. When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares into you. Curiosity killed the cat.
A metal roof on a house, will seriously interfere with your dream life. Have you moved to a house with a metal roof? Some people can feel the electromagnetic grid intersection points in a house. If you can't then find a place in the house where a plant thrives and sleep in that location, if possible. Sometimes, just changing bedrooms can help. We all have fears but conquering them or being the master of them, will make us less vulnerable.
Oh yeah, when people go insane they never think they are going insane; only sane people grasp when they are experiencing something they don't understand. There are some things in life where all of the participants are losers, maybe not at first but they will eventually be losers. The occult is one such thing and we should all stay clear of it. How many creeps do you want in your life? Your mission always remains the same, grow your aura, help others and create love. Happiness is a side effect of doing your duty. Break a leg. Ceau.

reply to post by facehole


Your Higher Self is your energetic source. You ask to connect with your Higher Self through intention.
As the others have mentioned be careful when dealing with these energies. I would recommend an etheric clearing because you mentioned the words 'latched on'. It would be helpful as well to clear the programming from the religion you left. Cut the cords.

Here is some information on your higher self: www.erinpavlina.com...

I don't think you are going crazy. I have been saved from life threatening incidents with the help of my spirit guide, or guardian angel. I don't know which one spoke to me, but I definitely heard their voice.

I was raised a Christian, so like you, I can relate to how hard it is to get rid of all the brain washing the religions throw at us.

Good luck to you as you grow in knowledge during your spiritual journey. There is much you still have to learn.

reply to post by facehole


everyone has a voice of reason, voice of criticism etc

it isn't unusual to have a thought convo with yourself, we do it every day, we think and reason with ourselves or we criticise.

another eg of how exceptional our brain is, is to think of a song... now replay that in your mind, you will hear the song and the voice in your mind. The memory replays.

You were relaxed and perhaps then you got to 'listen' to what you were worrying about, usually we are too busy to figure out what thoughts are going through our mind. Anyway, just like we create all that we see/hear in our dreams, the brain can offer you the discussion/therapy using another voice at any time.

oh edit to add...some people refer to this reasoning as the higher self.

reply to post by facehole


Demons have black eyes because the spirit within the host body is consumed by darkness.

Are you a troll ?


What happened to original titles on ATS ?

Regarding negative entities and the like: the only time I felt threatened or attacked was during the 1 fully lucid dream that I had. The other voice hasn't been threatening or dark in any way that I can tell. I'm a bit high-strung at times, and when it happens it usually just startles me out of being relaxed because I'm not expecting it. It might not be the best idea, but I'm so damn curious at this point that I hope when it decides to happen again that I can stay calm and relaxed enough to get a clearer picture as to what this is all about - even if it is just my own head malfunctioning in some fashion.

The only reason I mention past religious history (JW to Atheist) is that, damn, I just don't know what to think at times. Although raised by loons, I felt completely comfortable as a Dawkins style Atheist by the time I hit adulthood. I never would have thought in a million years I'd even be considering something like this.

I mention the opinion of the psychic because he was a man that kind of left my jaw on the floor with his abilities and kind of started me down this path of thinking that maybe there is some spiritual side to this wonky reality that we're all in. I figured his opinion (with a pinch of salt) might be worth paying for the 30 minutes of time, as he sees/hears/knows things that he could not possibly do without some higher supernatural means.

@rollsthepaul - Re metal roof and ouija board: don't have either.

Schizophrenia, spiritual boundaries, Archons, "guides" that make people kill, higher self, Erin Pavlina... lots of stuff to research now. Thanks for all the good feedback so far - lots of angles to look into!

I do this all the time and i totally get your vertical and horizontal conflicts but i can never get out of the room i am in, i bounce of the ceiling and i bounce off the walls and float round like a pinball, how do i get through the physical walls? Is it because i know they are there in my physical form, i can get in every corner of the room just not throught the walls or ceiling!

I am new here and very interested in these types of subjects!

I think my 'issues' are kind of similar. I will keep it brief because I could go on forever and don't want to hijack your thread. And, I'm going to have to really think it through, what to say 'about me' when the time comes.

I have had similar incidents to others here, as well as extreme bad luck, and very bizarre 'coincidences'. I am either mentally ill (I do suspect I have Depression and PTSD) - and / or "something" is trying to 'take me out'.

I noticed many topics here about the Paranormal, as well as 'regular' Psychology - so I thought that joining in some of these discussions might be a step in the right direction. I do plan to seek Professional help too - once I get over my fears that "they're in on it" and might "lock me up".

reply to post by facehole


You write that the past couple of years are among the most peaceful and least stressful you have ever had. Have you perhaps considered that life is too peaceful for you. Maybe life is too predictable and your subconscious is breaking through to your conscious mind to let you know that you should be doing something less boring instead.

Don't even think about going down the road of putting this down to mental illness. What you describe in no way resembles psychosis - in fact if you were actually psychotic you wouldn't be able to write the extremely coherent post that you did. Seeking diagnosis for what is probably just a cross roads in your life will only lead to medication, and the potential ruination of what sounds like the pretty good life that you have.

Originally posted by rollsthepaul
We are are all threatened and attacked when we sleep but the usual thing is to wake up, just as the problem gets completely out of hand in the dream. Read about The Archons, for some insight. We eat matter to create energy for ourselves but they eat energy to create form. They try to make us scared, so we will produce negative energy in our second chakra, which they eat. They will not eat positive energy. Try not to pursue the occult and I mean reading or Ouija boards etc. When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares into you. Curiosity killed the cat.
A metal roof on a house, will seriously interfere with your dream life. Have you moved to a house with a metal roof? Some people can feel the electromagnetic grid intersection points in a house. If you can't then find a place in the house where a plant thrives and sleep in that location, if possible. Sometimes, just changing bedrooms can help. We all have fears but conquering them or being the master of them, will make us less vulnerable.
Oh yeah, when people go insane they never think they are going insane; only sane people grasp when they are experiencing something they don't understand. There are some things in life where all of the participants are losers, maybe not at first but they will eventually be losers. The occult is one such thing and we should all stay clear of it. How many creeps do you want in your life? Your mission always remains the same, grow your aura, help others and create love. Happiness is a side effect of doing your duty. Break a leg. Ceau.

Appreciated your reply... Don't know how sound it is...but, it seems that, at least You, have a good grasp on what you believe (on this topic).
Thanks!

You may be a person of well natural awakened abilities, perhaps you have subconsciously closed off such abilities with your daily life style for years. When you start to realize the innate nature of your self, after living in such a exterior life, things of your matter can occur. In my advice take a fearless approach to what is happening to you, accept it, and control it. If you take the route as seeking external help for your internal problems, it may not give you the answer you want. The Internal problems can only be solved from the inside, you have the ability to dive deeper and explore your self. Take this wonderful chance to see all of these things as a gift and with that heartset in heart. You will be able to take control of tools that can lead you to understand All.

First off - thanks to all of you for giving replies that are actually sane, grounded opinions. I honestly expected to be blasted and called an idiot. I'm looking into all the possibilities you guys recommended for this.

Second - maybe shooting myself in the leg as a loon... - but 2 evenings after I posted this, I was in bed preparing myself to sleep, and I sort of got a picture in my head of a woman. I felt like this woman was inspecting me somehow. She was young-looking for her age, but I felt like she was actually in her late 40's. She had short-ish (for a North American female) blond hair with dark roots, and a little bit too much eye-liner on. Her eye's weren't blue. Maybe someone with an actual gift saw this post and zeroed in on me, maybe my insanity is continuing, maybe my imagination is out of control, maybe I am schizo - it's a (4-sided?) coin toss here.

Figured I'd post it just in case there actually was someone doing the aforementioned that fits my description.

Thanks again for all the feedback.