Yet another David Icke thread...but on the sports page?!?

Originally, I was going to post a lighthearted thread about how David Icke was about to be announced as the new manager of Chelsea as the only person that could out-do Roman Abramovich in the 'mad as cheese' stakes was him.

Abramovich is fast running out of candidates after sacking Di Matteo 6 months after winning the big one. One small blip and he was gone. Probably with a healthy severance payoff as well. This could solve Ickes problem of having to charge for his videos, which was a subject on ATS quite recently. He would probably be sacked after a short while like the rest of the 9 or so managers that Abramovich has hired and fired in his relatively short time as the Chelsea owner, like the rest of them, leaving with a nice cheque.

He was a football man ( sadly cut short due to injury), a sports presenter and coached in Saudi for a while ( well, according to wikipedia). Add to this is his obvious intelligence and natural communication skills.
I think he would be a natural for the job.

( As I type I just heard on the radio that Benitez has got the Chelsea job...facepalm)

Then I thought, why not offer him the Scotland job?

Honestly, how could he do any worse that the last few managers that we have had to put up with. Poor George Burley had to deal with the fact that we used up all our Karma or luck for about the next 100 years after beating France twice in a row. Craig Levein?...all I need to say is 4-6-0...laughing stock of the football world.

Give the guy a couple of sharp football tacticians to help him out as assistants...Big Joe Jordan is out of a job and could likely play the 'bad cop' role and keep the players in line.

With the emerging squad we have, we could be shooting up the World rankings and Global domination would be a matter of course in a few short years ( please note, I'm on my third glass of red).

All we can hope for is the usual list of mediocre managers usally trotted out by their chums in the media like Gordon Strachan, Billy Davies ( not a bad choice), Souness ( Oh, dear God, NO), George Graham ( is he even still alive) while quality manager like Fergie and Moyes would probably wet themselves at the thought.

I've often read that Mr. Icke ( he would probably be SIR DAVID ICKE by now if it wasn't for a coiuple of his strange ideas) reads this site. So for the love of god...

SCOTLAND NEEDS YOU.

...if nothing else you'll also get the big severence package when you realise you can't make a purse out of a pigs ear.

PS I'm not really serious about the Sir David bit. I'm only trying to butter you up.

PPS An international managers job could really be regarded as part-time, so we could indulge you in your lecture tours, just as long as you take in a few matches in the pretense of 'scouting missions'.

Half of being a manager is the press and unfortunately he's considered a raving nut job in general society so while he may have the required paperwork to be a coach he's never going to get a coaches job of any real value as the PR department don't fancy dealing with the 'is player x a reptile' after every game