This Needs Your ATTENTION Please!!

reply to post by ascension211


As someone who has been in your situation and more, no, I still would not give up my son for any man. My bf just bought a house in another state with the hopes that I will move there. I told him it will NEVER happen, not till my kid is in college. He has nothign but respect for me for it.

I also had a father who chose his wife over me. I have since left my father's house, to never return. When he grows old, I hope his wife is prepared to be sole caretaker.

You left your son at the most awkward age when boys need their fathers the most. And guess what, when you get old and your wife kicks off of heart disease, who takes care of you then?

Parents make the mistake of thinking they need the person to grow old with, when it is always the children that end up taking care of them in old age.

You made a selfish decision. Shame on you.

reply to post by ascension211


Pretend this is all I put in this thread:

If I were your sibling or son and you knew this information about my situation; how would you respond to me? The following transcripts are from the e-mails I sent; I will give the replies I got in the course of the thread. 10-16-2012 If someone could please contact Erik and ask him to get on Skype I would greatly appreciate it. I hope all is well with my family. Edith and I are doing the best we can under trying circumstances as well I am sure you all are. We miss you all. 10-18-2012 I was hoping to speak to my son and I wonder if any of you have had contact with him lately. I have not heard from him for over 3 weeks now. I hope someone would contact me if something were wrong, but I'm not certain this is the case. I don't even know if you get my emails when I send them. Please, respond so I know this is at least being read by someone. 10-22-2012 Is there something someone is not telling me about Erik? As to why he won't contact me? Besides Skype, I have E-mail? 11-5-2012 When is the last time anyone spoke to Erik? What did he say? Did anyone ask him to email me or figure out what is wrong with his Skype connection? Please, do not ignore me about this. I know you all have your own lives, but I did not disappear. I moved to Brazil for a reason. Not to be forgotten. Take care and much love to all. Ascension211 B.T.W - Ascension is in honor of my Mom, 211 is in honor of my Wife (2-11-2011 = Anniversary)

This all you know, now what do say to my e-mails?

Originally posted by ascension211
He finally downloaded Skype again and contacted me the other day. He misses me and loves me and is doing just fine. We had arrangements in place before I left, they were just interrupted, (I think on purpose, by a spiteful ex) and we will try to return to those same arrangements now that he has his computer set up again.

As to all your attacks on my morality in handling this situation the way I did, I suggest you walk a mile in my shoes first. Really easy to judge from the cheap seats.

So if you talked to your son 'the other day' what the heck was the point of this thread?

To bait members so you could pull the high and mighty card? Because you had a metaphysical experience that justifies the physical leaving of your son?

So is this thread about:
A. You not being in contact with your son (a lie)
B. You being better than everyone else (oh holy one)
C. Your near death experience (nice way to sneak that in)

Bait and switch tactics do not work well on this website.

That is all I have to say to you.

--------------------------------

As to all the fathers out that whose children have been kept from them, you have my deepest sympathies. Our current family court system sucks in regards to fathers.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Shame on you for not having a heart or the decency to even read what I did write. My son does not hate me and I did this for him, too. I was not selfish in this choice. This has as much to do with him as it does me. I have clarity of thought in my decision making process. You are severely mistaken in your judgment and it is obviously clouded by your own hatred for a man in your life. I feel sorry for you. Clearly you are not qualified to judge me.

reply to post by OneisOne


You never even bothered to read what I said did you? No, you just jumped on your high horse and started judging me.
I asked a simple question and you all decided to attack my morality. I don't have to bait and switch. LMAO. How would you respond to the e-mails if you were my family members I sent them to? Simple really. I gave more information so people would have an understanding of my situation, not to offer their opinions about why or whether I should have done or not done what I did do. The tone this thread took had nothing to do with the original question I posed about the e-mails, rather people insisted on making it an issue about morality, which forced me to enlighten some to more information. Wow.

reply to post by sled735


Thank you! But you didn't answer the original question about the e-mails either! lol I wasn't looking for validation for my choices. I was "baited" into a morality debate. My conscience is quite clear. The only reason I asked for opinions about the e-mails was because one of the responses I did get was extremely rude. I may or may not share it. Not so eager to anymore. May give those with stones more ammunition to throw at "my glass house".

reply to post by OneisOne


Don't feel bad. I asked a simple question the fact that you never answered it is what I find amazing. Try not to read between the lines so much. Seems you have this problem often.

reply to post by ascension211

Your conscience is clear because you don't have one.

Originally posted by ascension211
reply to post by OneisOne

 

Don't feel bad. I asked a simple question the fact that you never answered it is what I find amazing. Try not to read between the lines so much. Seems you have this problem often.

Good Lord. No one is required to answer your questions. You find that amazing. Here you are opening the discussion asking what we would do. We tell you, basically, that you have "erred," if I can put it mildly. You don't like that. Apparently your expectation is that we will tell you what to do to make it all better or give you all this false sympathy and "I'm sorry for your loss" comments.

Well, the majority opinion is in. You know what we think of your actions. So then you change the story. When that doesn't work you say, "Well, what if I'd only said this? Then what would you say?" Tnen you tell us, Oh, you were so sick and this happened and that happened and it was all really bad. I'm surprised your dog didn't die in there somewhere. If you could turn this tale into a country/western song maybe you could make some money off of it.

You just got here. Apparently you think ATS is here at your beck and call to help you solve your problems. Well, here's the deal. It's not all about you. You ARE the problem in the situation you describe. You've been told this by nearly every respondent. Lashing out at them for telling the truth is not going to help you.

So either listen or pick another subject. This needs YOUR attention.

Originally posted by ascension211
reply to post by nixie_nox

 

Shame on you for not having a heart or the decency to even read what I did write. My son does not hate me and I did this for him, too.

You already said that you did this for your wife, not him. Leaving a boy at the most difficult years of his life is not helping him. Do you think he will come right out and say he hates you? He maybe afraid you will leave his life altogether. It does not mean he is ok with this situation. You WANT him to be ok with this situation, and you are trying to convince us he doesn't hate you. He may not hate you, but it does not mean he is ok. He may have other feelings, such as loss of self esteem, abandonement, and depression. Hate isn't the only concern.

I was not selfish in this choice.

You chose your wife and her needs over that of your own child, yes you are. You need to own it.

This has as much to do with him as it does me.

Oh please, explain it to me.

I have clarity of thought in my decision making process.

Did you? You are living cash strapped in another country away from your kin.

You are severely mistaken in your judgment and it is obviously clouded by your own hatred for a man in your life.

Nice try to deflect responsibility on to me, but no. My dad is coming to help me with my surgery at the end of the month. While he sucked as a father and made poor decisions, I do not hate him, he will just have to live with his choices, and atone for them when he goes to the other side.

I feel sorry for you.

Don't feel sorry for me, I know what my kid is doing every second of the day, if I don't see him. He just told how he is proud that he beat the first level on his Indiana Jones game. I don't have to worry about his wellbeing or go on a website, trying to find ways to get into touch with him. I will be there for every important stage in his life, and he can count on me to be there, especially for the most difficult times. I have even manged to maintain a friendly relationship with his father, though it was an abusive relationship, because it is important that my child have me to depend on, and to know that we both love him.

Clearly you are not qualified to judge me.

Oh I am more then qualified.

Not only have I had an abusive, manipulative spouse, I have also been near death, been in multiple car accidents, awaiting my second surgery for the last one. I am also disabled, with a degenerative bone disease and fibromyalgia.

But I see from your posts you are only worried about your happiness. I hope one of your siblings is being a less selfish father figure.

The OP is trolling. I hope the mods delete it, or better yet, keep it up so parents can see what some people are willing to sacrifice for a significant other.

Op, how long have you known your wife for?

How would your son respond?

Probably something like.

WTF DAD DIAF.

This thread is full of hate and really sucks..

sorry I read it..

meh...

reply to post by baddmove

This thread is full of the truth. A father deserted his son for a woman.

Click here for more information.

Your story makes no sense. You write it yet you have heard from him.. so why are you asking what strangers think of your one sided emails? Id not bother with you either if you were so incapable or contacting your own son withthe plethora of methods you have at your disposal. People makes mistakes.. and SHOULD be forgiven.. but you are completely unwilling to even see your mistakes.

Anyway, as an RN and having a child who had a transplant.. requiring thymoglobulin after a rejection episode which gave her pancreatitis and she was admitted with a 1200+ glucose level.. your near death story is not exactly the mountain your making it of being near death and certainly doesnt make you special or deserving of special treatment or consideration.

reply to post by ascension211


Listen to the song imo.

Thread closed.....

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