Presexual Agreement Contracts

Ok, one of the most important aspect in a relationship, and also one that seems to be the least discussed until too late, is children. Personally, it's one of the first topics I bring up when I am considering a relationship. I consider this world too corrupt to consider passing along my DNA and bloodline in. That is how I feel.

I think that before entering into a sexual relationship, it should be discussed, and a legal agreement drawn up and signed beforehand. If you do not agree on such an important topic, then you really shouldn't be having sex in the first place, and a relationship is probably not a good idea. It would save people a lot of heartache and bitterness.

An example of what such a contract could look like:

I [names here] affirm that we are entering into a serious relationship, and are planning on having sexual relations. We both agree at this time, that we do not wish to have children. Should we both agree that we decide to have children at a later time, a new contract can be drawn up, nullifying this one.

If [woman] decides upon finding out a pregnancy has occured, to keep the child, then she accepts full responsibility for said child.

It needs to be short, to the point, and written in plain english, not legalese mumbojumbo.

Good idea?

Originally posted by TKDRL
If [woman] decides upon finding out a pregnancy has occured, to keep the child, then she accepts full responsibility for said child.

Nice idea. The problem is that the law turn on the child's rights.

Both the mother and father were responsible for bringing them into this world and consequently, that child has a claim for maintenance against both of them.

If you really want to avoid getting a women pregnant, best to only shower with your gumboots on.

First off..this may have been better posted in the relationships forum.
Secondly, I see no problem with how you feel towards children/relationships...but a contract is a bit much.
If you find the right person, I fail to see how a legal document would be needed. It sounds more like you wish to cover your behind on the off chance you found yourself in that situation.
If you really don't want children...permanently deal with it and get a vasectomy. No worries.

In order for a contract to be legally binding, there must be three elements. Offer, acceptance and money (or some desirable substitute).

The contract makes an offer. And some woman may be stupid enough to accept. But where is the money?

Further, all children are entitled, by law, to support from both their parents. A mother signing this contract cannot simply sign away a child's right to support from their father.

This is basically, I want sex. I want it free. I don't want any responsibility that may incur as a result of this sex.

Are you a man or a child? Do you not understand that sex has consequences and responsibilities?

Tired of Control Freaks

That is a mumbojumbo inteed, it takes two to make a child with this agreement if pregnancy happens all responsability is woman only.. that really twisted thinking.

Personally, I don't think you should have sex with someone unless you truly love them. I don't really think marriage is necessary, but I dont think you should have sex until you find the person you want to be with for ever. Yes, I realize this means you will only ever get to have sex with one person in your life but it is just my opinion. Unless you "need" sex and are a horn dog then I dont see a problem with it. Sex should be reserved as an act of true love, nothing more. Plus, it would solve this whole problem.

In any case, have you never heard of condoms, birth control, vasectomies, tubal ligation, etc...?

I do realize my opinion will probably be unpopular, but it is an opinion.

ETA: I am not religious in any way, so that has nothing to do with my opinion.

reply to post by TKDRL




WTF? Are you fifteen years old or something? If you want to have sex with someone and there is consent between you, just go for it.

Christ when I arrived to northern Europe years ago (sweden) I discovered that people here and in the rest of scandinavia laughed at my american retarded values. Sex is nothing here. It is like milk. If you want it you get it.

But in ol´redneck US they make a thing out of it. This latest fling to have contract set before getting to it is just another form of evidence the american mind is so obsessed with the thought of sex they need contractual formula before even daring to be normal humans.

*shakes head* Land of whackos and confused hicks if you ask me.

Children should be generally entitled to support from their parents. But I think there should be one exception. When a woman gets pregnant and refuses to abort despite the wishes of the man, then it is solely her decision to bring a child into this world. In such case, I think the man should have the right to give up both parental rights and responsibilities before an abortion limit has passed.

Rediculous, if your prepared for sex you should be prepared for a possibility of parenthood. It's basic sex education. No amount of writing on a pice of paper will prevent accidents. It does happen.

If your in a relationship with a like minded partner, have good communication. Then you should be on the same page about where and when to become parents. And in the event of an accident happening.

If for one reason or another you are absolutely against you DNA being reproduced, don't have sex or look for a permanent solution .

reply to post by ollncasino


From a legal standpoint, that is only true if the woman decides to keep the baby. If she decides against it, then suddenly then suddenly it's not a child, it has no rights. Just a lump of flesh to be taken out and flushed away.

Also yeah, I use rubbers, they can fail once in a while though supposedly. Never had one bust in my 30 years, so I am thinking it is a myth, or some people just do not know what they are doing

reply to post by Maslo


Answer is simple, do not have sex if you are not ready to have responsabilities.
Throwing whole issue on womans neck when pregnancy happens is simply wrong. Why? You don´t have any idea what kind of emotional and ethical issues rise when pregnancy happens, when child is aborted many female have feeling of guilty for the rest of their lives when guy just keeps partying, the other part might face mental issues because of the decision of abortion.

reply to post by TKDRL


KOBE!

reply to post by Maslo


It is funny that you mention this, because my best friend's girlfriend lied to him an told him she was taking birth control so she could force him to maintain a relationship with him because she knew he was soon to leave him ( now that is a control freak). In the end it worked, he is still with her and they have a very beautiful boy, but in the end he maned up and is raising the kid with her. It is really sad though because she is kinda stupid and I feel bad for my friend because he is really smart. I sure hope the kid gets his intelligence.

In any case, just as I said before, he should not have had sex in the first place unless he truly loved this girl, which he clearly didn't. He just wanted empty sex and he didn't use a condom (which I think he should have regardless if she was taking birth control or not, just to be safe). So it is his responsibility to support his child. Do you see where I am coming from even if you don't agree?

reply to post by AccessDenied


Seems like a social issue to me, you may be right though.

In a perfect world, I agree with you. We would be able to trust one another, a simple handshake or hug or whatever would be enough. People change though, you know, like the husband who used to be great, then after marriage is all of a sudden beating the crap out of the wife. Or the girl who seems great, but once you want out of the relationship, she tries to trap the guy with a baby.

The sample I made up is sure to cover my ass, but obviously one drawn up by two people that do want kids would be different from mine.

reply to post by TiredofControlFreaks


No it is basically we want sex, we don't want children.
It is OK for a woman to have sex, then throw away that responsibility, but not a man.

reply to post by TKDRL


Well, seeing as how even after birth the child is still less intelligent than a common rat(which most people have no remorse killing) I think that it is no less horrible to abort then to set a mouse trap in your house.

Also, the consciousness of a fetus in the womb during the latest period it can be aborted is about that of a lizard, then yes abortion should be allowed. How about we concentrate on the sanctity of life for the thousands of children who starve to death every month. With each child born, where one could be adopted from one of these horrible places, it is much worse than abortion.

reply to post by dollukka


No, if she decides unilaterally to carry the pregnancy through, then she should be unilaterally responsible. It takes two to have sex, but only one of them can decide wether to keep it.

Why not just use a condom?


Every girl I've dated for an extended period of time has also been on birth control. There's a serious trust issue in the relationship if you don't know whether or not she may get pregnant.


And really, you think it's a difficult subject to bring up but you're willing to throw paperwork/legal documents at her? This thread is nuts

reply to post by dollukka


Yes of course, us men are just party animal monsters with no feelings.

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by ollncasino

 

From a legal standpoint, that is only true if the woman decides to keep the baby. If she decides against it, then suddenly then suddenly it's not a child, it has no rights. Just a lump of flesh to be taken out and flushed away.

Also yeah, I use rubbers, they can fail once in a while though supposedly. Never had one bust in my 30 years, so I am thinking it is a myth, or some people just do not know what they are doing

edit on Mon, 05 Nov 2012 06:01:10 -0600 by TKDRL because: (no reason given)

If the 2 of you are in an honest relationship, it is or would I guess be a joint desicion. I also wouldn't assume aborting would be a very easy decision for most people together or women on her own.

I guess yours & others points in this thread show you there's a hell of a lot more involved or could be involved in a sexual relationship then the sex.