How Did You Meet Your Significant Other?

Greetings, ATS!

So the purpose for this thread is just to satisfy my personal curiosity about a theory I have. My theory? That the dating scene is changing with the advent of social media.

Me first. I met my first husband at work. We dated a few years, married, then divorced a year later. Our divorce was blessedly civil, no kids and barely any community property. So as far as a divorce can be, it was simple.

After my divorce, I was 26 and terrified I'd spend the rest of my life alone. Because of a past traumatic event, I'm fairly untrusting of people in general and men in particular. Plus, I'm the quiet, shy type and I hate parties, clubs, etc. Which means the traditional ways of meeting someone else simply weren't my cup of tea.

So I joined eharmony in 2004. Part of me was so embarrassed....what was wrong with me that I couldn't meet someone on my own? On eharmony, I was matched with several folks and developed friendships with a few. It's also where I met my husband, J. We married in 2005, had a surprise son in 2006, and are happily married.

What about you? Would you ever join a matchmaking site?

Nope...would never join a matchmaking site...perhaps if I was young I might consider that..

I met my significant other by chance...we were in high school...I went to one school, she went to another far across the city where we lived....she was visiting a friend of hers who lived in my neighborhood.

I wandered over that way to see if anyone wanted to hang out for the afternoon. I saw her and immediately fell in love. (She was attracted to me as well...she says now it was because I was a "bad boy" type...and believe me...it was a difficult road I traveled to date her and be accepted by her parents because I WAS a bad boy lol) What was interesting was she used to ride my school bus when we were in elementary school and I remembered I felt a strong attraction to her even then...although we had never spoken to each other.

I met my partner whilst at karate. She attended with her brother, who at first I thought was her boyfriend (but a couple of questions soon cleared that up)

We have been together for almost 20 years and have two teenage children. I wouldn't want to go back in time and change the way anything has worked out. We love spending time with each other, we still hold each others hand when we go anywhere, and our horizontal dance moves have gotten even better as time progresses.

As for dating websites, I have never had the need to join one. But in this day and age as the population is increasingly more and more online, I can see the need. I don't hold anything against anyone for trying to find happiness.

my husband and I met in a t**ty bar

I was bartending there at the time and he was the only one looking at me and not at the stage. His smile was like a beacon and I was instantly hooked. Hasnt all been roses but there have been more good times than bad and ten years later we are still hanging in there.

I was sitting at a bar, a single malt a good book and no company. I was ignoring everyone and just wanted a quiet evening.

Then this annoying woman would walk past my table over and over and over again. She had to actually "bump" my head with her hip to get my attention.

We've been together (for decades) ever since.

reply to post by smyleegrl


My first wife I met through my best friend , it was his sister when I was 16 . We dated for a few years and got married because she was pregnant ( I grew up in a small farming community ) had 3 children together and it lasted for 11 years till we divorced ( because of my drinking which I covered in another thread !!) my second wife I met on the ski hills , she was on the ski patrol and I worked as a lift mechanic and we started skiing together . We married had a daughter and it lasted for 12 years ! ( drinking again ) I had a really bad experience on dating sites I actually found someone who drank and drugged more than I did who had 3 kids from 3 different fathers !! That lasted 2 years !!! Hopefully my current love I met in AA and we have been together for 3 years and it has been amazing !!! It's been a truly honest , loving relationship !

reply to post by smyleegrl


We met on e-harmony too. Worked for us!

I have a 10 year thing going.

Met my first thru a friend, partying, had 2 kids divorced 1 month short of 10 yrs.
Met my second at work, had two kids, divorced 1 month short of 10 years.

Next one I will have no kids with, and will warn him to mark on the calendar when 10 years is up:

Seriously, I tried match.com for a year and did nothing for me.

Myspace
I had added him about 6 months previously to even so much as talking to him, and when the time came, we started a conversation and hit it off.
5 years later, we have a son, and a house. Right now, things are a bit sh^t, been real good for ages, but you don't wanna hear about all that...

I would be playing guitar and she couldn't figure out where this loud distorted greatness was coming from . I ended up teaching some guy in the building I went to visit him one day and she was there and when she realized I was the guitar guy she was hooked ever since . I swear she only loves me for my guitar . 8 years later we have a beautiful 3 year old girl and a boy due anytime now and nov 20 .. My best friend and my everything . and she is also an ATSer too

I met her in a retail store... I was just walking around, minding my own business when ~BAM~ I looked up and there she was. My jaw dropped and it was lust at first sight. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen...

Five feet tall...
Oh so sassy...
Dark...
1080 DPI...
Mulitple HDMI ports...

Oh yeah... Sexy..

( Yeah. I'm single but my OCPD made me wanna participate )

~Heff

reply to post by smyleegrl


Good timing. (Love your smile by the way)

I met my significant other through a mutual friend. The first thing I remember thinking when I saw her was............"When she was born God turned on the stars so the angels could see what beauty is." Just flat out gorgeous. Because of circumstances beyond our control however, we had to foster our in-person relationship online, via a social media site. Not saying which one. It's relatively unknown anyway. I had her pegged from day seventeen it seemed, but since I can be a hard card to read, I took the opportunity to introduce myself there, better then I could in person. I wanted her to know what she was getting herself into.

Again, because of those circumstances, that just dragged on and on and on and on and............she got to know me very well. The first thing I told myself when I started all this was "never lie". And I stuck to that. I had to get creative with the truth at times, but I never lied. Then the day finally came when those "circumstances" came to an end and she called me because me reaching her would have been too awkward for both of us, as the source of those circumstances, well, I'm not saying anymore there. She knew that as well and she was willing to "drop the dime" so to speak because I did, after all, put myself on a personal and professional line to attract a woman like her, so she wouldn't have to. The whole courtship was a two way street though and as close to the vest as the law would allow.

I remember, all she had to do was say "Hi, this is_____ how are you? And I took it from there. I have a way with words anyway so it was pretty easygoing. And the rest, as they say, is history. ( Time's a funny thing aint it? ) And now that I think about it, it could make one hell of a story.

Hope this helps with you theory Smylee.

Originally posted by Hefficide

I met her in a retail store... I was just walking around, minding my own business when ~BAM~ I looked up and there she was. My jaw dropped and it was lust at first sight. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen...

Five feet tall...
Oh so sassy...
Dark...
1080 DPI...
Mulitple HDMI ports...

Oh yeah... Sexy..

( Yeah. I'm single but my OCPD made me wanna participate )

~Heff

watch out for some of those ports as I have heard they can be a lil dirty . Don't wanna see you with a estd ( electronic sexually transmitted disease) from one of those ports , wrap it up good .

I met my wife in a laundromat. We talked for a little while and I asked her if she wanted to go next door and have a drink. We went to the tavern next door and had a couple, I got her number and asked if she wanted to have breakfast the next morning. There were no strippers at the strip bar we went to that day at three in the afternoon, they didn't start till about seven.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I met my husband when a good friend brought him over to my house to play pool. We went out on our first date three days later and have been together ever since!

It's funny how sometimes life can take you on a long ride of twists and turns, and you find you are right back where you started.
I got married very young, had kids, spent about 18 years together. Didn't work out and glad it didn't. Tried dating sites, tried parties, tried here...
Then there was this guy...
I spotted him out my kitchen window one day. Oh DAYUM he had the sexiest behind I ever saw.
He was moving in right next door to me...with his GF. *sigh
Long story short, he had a daughter same age as mine, and they became very good friends.
I became friends with his GF, and went about trying to ignore he was there..PFFFT.
After about 18 months, they moved away. But our daughters were still good friends and kept in touch.
More time past and I tried to move on in my life.
Then I hear from my daughter that he asked about me. Really asked about me. He had been single for awhile, and was looking for me. SWEET!
So, we started talking, as we had never really talked before other than "Hey, nice day."
That was three years ago.
But it wasn't just that he was "The boy next door". It was so much more than that.
We had so much in common. Not just our personal interests, but our childhoods, including where we spent our summers when young.
There was this tiny little lake that my parents would take me to, and I never swam in it, but I loved to play on the shore, either building castles or collecting stones.
I remember one trip, I was about 6, and we stopped there. I had this little plastic take out cup and I was filling it with stones that I thought were pretty. A blond haired little boy showed up with his mother and was shy at first. Then he picked up a stone and said " You want this one?"
And so we spent about an hour doing this. When it came time to leave, I threw the mother of all temper tantrums. One my mother never forgot. We came home and she told all my aunts how bad I was and I didn't want to leave the little blond haired boy.
Well...go 35 years into the future.
This past summer, while driving to see my son and my granddaughter, we drove past this tiny lake. I was so filled with emotion and memories. My fiancee had grown up on this tiny lake with his grandma.
After telling my story of summers spent there to my future mother in law, and even of the little blond haired boy..she showed me a picture of my fiancee at about that time,and said to me..." So that was YOU!!!"

You never know when you will meet your soul mate, or where...

reply to post by AccessDenied


Beautiful story!

I grew up in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. Turns out my husband spent every summer in Gatlinburg. We have photos of our younger selves posing in the same places. Which is both cool and freaky when you think about it.

reply to post by smyleegrl


It's amazing yet sad at the same time. Both of us endured very bad relationships before coming together and feel like we missed out on many years of happiness we could have had together. Lots of time to make up for.

yep, we worked for the same company but never met over about 6months.
Spoke over the phone sporadically- work related stuff.
He quit, out of sight of mind, didn't think twice about him.

Joined a dating site, first hit and message was mutual ie I hit 'interested' same time he did.
Start chatting and find out it's the above guy! We didnt even know what the other looked like, but we were drawn to each other....

Best first date ever, and going strong 1.5yrs now. For the record for both of us it was love at first sight, it does happen - but more in a I have known you before kind of way - or like we agreed somewhere else we would meet in this lifetime or something.
Sound cheesy I kno

Dating sites dont work for me. I used okcupid for years, had one decent relationship with a girl i had already "known". Shes a loser though. Other than that, all i ever found was what youd expect. These people cant ever have a relationship. All the way from "you raped me!!!" To being on the first date and "i gotta go, my cat fell off the fridge!", to the aspies, girls that wont ever have fun cause it might mess their hair up, girls who nobody is good enough for, one was married and had an affair with me for a month or so, one loves me so much but cancels a date with me every possible chance i have. "but my sisters home". Starting to think sister is a code word for husband.

Was on craigslist too. Mostly spambots.

A girl at a tt bar claims to be my girlfriend. Shes cool though so i get lap dances from her and play her game right back lol.

Ive given up all hope. Seems that im unbelievably unattractive and no one would ever want me.