Hi, My Name is Ned and I’m a Drug Addict

My name is Ned and I’m 42 years old. I have been addicted to a nasty drug for nearly 30 years. I first tasted this sweet substance when my parents had a party at home and I sneaked away with a small cache and experimented with my cousin in the back-streets of my neighbourhood. It made me feel good. My inhibitions abated. I felt more ‘real’ somehow. I laughed, I fell over. I wanted more.

30 years on and I’m still using – every day. I can’t wait to get home from work and partake. I slip in to a casual slumber – it feels good. My consciousness changes from tight to easy – I ‘feel’ more stuff when I’m on it. I use to try and regulate who I am.

I come from a long line of drug users. My mum always said to me that if I ever got the ‘taste for it’ then that would be the end of me. She had already seen many of her family members succumb to this wicked substance.

Many out there will know what I’m talking about, because they feel what I feel. Living in this realm of existence without this drug would seem almost unbearable. I have tried to go without it for periods of time, but life keeps forcing me back on to the tread-mill it seems.

Yes, this drug I speak of is alcohol. Legal in nearly all countries, but ever so dangerously addictive. Don’t fool yourself if you think that you can drop it, once you’ve started using. Once it’s in your blood stream it’s there forever.

I know I will get some opposition to this thread, with members attempting to support responsible use of alcohol. The truth is, nobody really uses responsibly, because it’s nearly impossible to stop at just 1 drink.

Before your next drink , think seriously about what you’re doing to your mind and body. Are you an addict too ?

[video removed by staff]

Peace

* Ned

I read the first four paragraphs and I thought "wow this is going to be deleted at light speed".

Then I got to the fifth paragraph and saw you were talking about alcohol.

I think it's funny how we don't associate all those normal social stigmas with alcohol.

Hello Ned. Congratulations and welcome to where the excrement hits the air circulation device. There are some good threads on here about living with and overcoming addiction. I am not going to hand them to you, your journey, you walk it. SEARCH is your friend. You have my prayers and my love.

Hi Ned. "This place have coffee?'

reply to post by ChaoticOrder


Bill Hicks had to give up alcohol because it was killing him and ruining his stand-up career. Ironically he died anyway a short time after from pancreatic cancer.

There is a clear double standard in the west re alcohol - it's a drug pure and simple.

Cheers

at first i thought you were talking about coffee! (self confessed addict!!!)
but yes you are correct. booze is the devil!
i myself partake in the juice of the barley more oft than not.
i drink more than most,and it is a comfort to have a cold beer in your hand!
you just know everything is ok (NOT!!!!)
i have curbed my attitude a lot in the last few years over this 'drug',because of some
bad choices made whilst intoxicated,whith many that still haunt me today!
although i've never had to 'rape,pillage,or steal to get a drink,
if i can afford it,i'll get 6,12,or 24 beer,just to fool myself everything is ok (NOT!)
it must be ok if i can afford beer,right!
(oops,i forgot to buy milk and bread!!!)
moderation and responsibility ARE the key!
moderation - a 6 pak is fine,you don't really need 12 (unless your trying to escape - and that never works!)
responsibility - food is good,always make sure you have enough. make sure the bills are paid.
always try to have emergency money,ya never know!
after all that,a 6 pak once in a while wont kill you.
ignore any of the above rule and you will get sucked into the bottle!
good luck!

Thanks for sharing and you made a lot if good points. Alcohol isn't for everyone, especially a little guy like me, after the 3rd beer usually stripping my clothes and swinging my gitch around my head. Nasty stuff, but oh so delicious.

reply to post by Iamschist


Thanks for your kind words, and thanks for listening.

I hope that I can turn things around sooner rather than later.

* Ned

reply to post by ezekielken


That's funny. I actually live in a place called Coffee Camp which is just south of Nimbin. I am addicted to coffee too. have 1 or 2 espressos a day without fail.

Peace

reply to post by reficul


Thanks reficul for your refreshing honesty.

Even a 6 pack will leave me a bit hazy the next day. Not good when you drive a lot as part of your job.

* Ned

Hope isn't lost friend, i also come from a background of addicts and heavy drug users.

let me just tell you coincidences are always something to look deeper into, funny enough you happened to post this thread as soon as i was finished giving myself a little refresher on Maximilian Kolbe.

Maximilian was a friar who died in a Nazi concentration camp in world war 2. He gave himself up in place of another man, to be made an example of for any who tried to escape. They took him and a group of ten other men to starve in a jail cell. After the death of all the other cell-mates he was the last one left, at which he prayed and led all the dying men through their final moments. When the guards came in on the 15th day to find him dehydrated and starving, yet still on his knees in prayer, he simply lifted his arm for the final injection as they did not want to wait for him to pass any longer. And that's how he spent his final days.

October 10th, is the day the catholic church canonized him as a saint, and not just any saint! But the saint of charity, and mercy as well as addicts and prisoners of war.

He is a shining star of hope for any who are imprisoned psychologically.

Now i am not a religious man, but stories of triumph of the human spirit always hint to me the existence of a higher power, and that anything can be helped as long as you have hope for yourself and love for your brothers and sisters.

Its never over buddy, don't let your moms words define your life. Of course it will be painful at first, but you have to have hope, and realize the pain is all just a goofy illusion.

reply to post by POPtheKlEEN89


Thanks Pop for your concern. I have heard of that story - it is a fantastic teaching no doubt about it. The thing is I have given up before for good periods of time, but always seem to fall off the wagon again once I hit a rough patch of road. I was raised a Catholic surrounded by drunk priests and christian brothers, so this doesn;t help much either. My culture too is awash in alcoholism - it's part of our national identity.

Peace

* Ned

reply to post by nimbinned


Thanks for sharing Ned and You are not alone !! Alcohol almost killed me and brought a lot of hurt and misery to my family and friends !! I'm almost 5 years sober and yes there is tons of help and support out there ! As another member above pointed out that there are a few good threads going right now on addictions ! There's more of us on this site than you can imagine !! I wish you the best !

reply to post by nimbinned


Hi Ned.

That was a good trick. I thought you were talking about something else at first too.

What you might want to try is replacing the words "I'm an addict" with "I have an addictive personality". If alcohol didn't exist, would you latch onto something else? Chances are you would if you come from a "long line of boozers". It's in the blood in more ways then one.

It helped me and now I can't even remember the last time I was drunk. I've been sober for a long time now. I had to stop putting a specific label on myself ( I'm an addict) and look at the bigger picture ( I become addicted to things). I had to generalize the whole thing. I had to stop taking myself so personally. When I did, it made the whole process easier and I found something else to become addicted to. You sound really hardcore with it though, so trying all the little things like that might be only a temporary fix. You may need to go all out and turn your back on everything and everyone you're used to. Just fall off the face of the earth so to speak. Some people only do this temporarily of course for the sake of getting clean. Sometimes that's the only way to get clean and stay that way.

The key is to realize that the saying "Once an addict always an addict" is true. But that doesn't mean you have to remain addicted to something that is detrimental to your health. There are healthy addictions. Find yours and you should be able to go from alcohol to that fairly easy. From that angle. You body is going to go through the physical withdrawals though. You can't think your way out of that and everyone's system is different, so you're going to have to find what works best for you physically.

Good luck.

Good luck in your journey. I have had family members with drug and alchohol problems and it is no fun to overcome but if you do you can conquer the world. You should gfo the the RATS forum and post your storie on the addiction recovery thread. You will find there are many on ATS who have been down the same road.

Courageous post. I have struggled for 33 years, myself. Over a year sober right now. 2.5 years is my best to date. Sobriety really is a better way. God bless you, Ned.

reply to post by nimbinned

Strange I just posted a thread on GMO and Alcohol beverages and just commented on someone overcoming their addiction.

I used to think about the reason they're called "spirits"

When Arab alchemists' ingested alcohol their senses deadened and they named the substance according to its "body-taking" qualities. Knowing this, European speakers who understood its etymology coined the use of the term "spirits" for alcohol.

The use of the term spirits for alcohol goes very far back so it's impossible to know for sure due the lack of written evidence.

I personally don't like alcohol, it just never agreed with me.

"My husband had his last drink 11/21/11 he drank mostly rum w/ coke.
Since quitting he says a fog lifted after around 3 months.
He was always sensitive to energy and spirits in general but now he actually sees others auras.
What's even stranger is I'm pretty sensitive to energy and I feel the vortex in my palm chakras. If I place my hand on his chest he feels the swirl effect of my energy interacting with his energy. Now he goofs saying he never would have experienced this stuff before when he drank. All the chemicals and toxins effect your chakras. So it is a dramatic change and one that he wishes others could experience, but it takes a lot of will power to refrain from that crutch. What helps is figuring out why you drink, what you're escaping from and why you want to not feel it. It's difficult to do." (my own reply quote posted in other thread)

I do wish you the best of luck in dealing with this affliction.

your brain cellls told me to pass you a message....

DRINK!!! sip that amber nectar!!!! there is a nasty brain cell here who hurts my feelings...
hopefully the alcohol kills that braincell and not myself....

there was few messages for ya but i only listened to the brain cell with glasses

reply to post by rick004


Thanks Rick for your kind heart !

reply to post by Taupin Desciple


A great reply, thanks Taupin.

I'm a trained counsellor so I know about the "I am a ...." trap. I am confident that I will kick this addiction one day, I just have to get over a big hurdle first. This year has been the worst year of my life in many ways. The alcohol has kept me sane and stable in some respects. I am getting to the point now though where I am worried. My physical health is declining. My liver is toxic.

Peace to You

* Ned