How to put my mind to rest at night to sleep, need advice!

I think for more than 10 years now (I am 35 now) I have problems falling asleep. I have short periods during the year where there are no problems and I fall asleep after more or less one hour, for me this is normal. However in my worst periods, it can take up to 3 or 4 hours sometimes to fall asleep. Normally I go to bed around 12 at night. Sometimes I am tired, but my mind wins and in the end I am not tired any more. My mind however, almost never. In the morning I don't really feel tired, although during the day I cannot concentrate to the maximum. I have a normal daytime job and sit behind the desk mostly.

Obviously I feel very annoyed about this, lying awake for 4 hours is simply very frustrating. I have partner that falls asleep literally after 1 minute, that makes it even more annoying. I know where the problems lies....my mind. I don't seem to be able to stop thinking.

As soon as I go to bed I start thinking of all the things that happened during the day, relive everything, relive it different, I think about upcoming events, situations, or when I am angry, sad or happy. It just goes on and on. Doesn't matter what. Sometimes I repeat the same story over and over in a different context.

I have tried many thinks like being more active at night like running, swimming. I have a normal social live and meet up with friends at night. I have tried different medicine, you name it. I looked on the internet for exercises to try to control my mind , nothing is helping. I am 100% sure it has to do with the mind. I do think that this can't be good for your body, however I do not seem to have physical problems.

I simply want to share this and hope people with the same problem will share there their feelings but above all their experience how to deal with this or any advice is welcome how I can control my mind at night.

reply to post by rai76


I have had a very similar issue with falling asleep my entire life. There has been only one thing that has allowed me to stop my mind from reliving yesterday, or the day before, or 12 years ago, or even what the future will bring. It may sound childish or simplistic, but it works for me: start your dream before you fall asleep. What I mean by that is, place yourself in a fantasy world, be consistent and don't let your mind wander back to the events of the day. As weird as it sounds, it's the only reason I can ever fall asleep, if I didn't do this I would literally be up all night.

I hope it helps, and sweet dreams.

I can TOTALLY relate to your problems with sleeping at night. The main thing I found was that I get hungry at night and want to eat, but when I do I cannot sleep for a couple hours afterwards. Its frustrating, because being hungry ALSO makes it hard to sleep, lol.

Anyway, that was my biggest thing for sleeping problems. Hopefully some other people will chime in and I can get some good tips as well.

Calcium magnesium usually does it for me.

If all else fails - counting. I know it sounds hokey but if you're REALLY diligent in your counting, you will fall asleep.

I usually start over at 100 because if I got up to say 586 I would start to obsess about how long I had been counting. If you restart at 100 you lose track and aren't fixated on the time that has passed since you began.

That and intentionally holding your tongue to the roof of your mouth. The theory is that since your brain is distracted by performing this continuous task, it won't focus on other annoying things like the never ending deluge of thoughts that our poor brains are assaulted by at night.

Regards,

FTE

When I feel unable to sleep, I find reading helps...takes you out of your own mind, and helps you to relax. I little "loving" before bedtime doesn't hurt either.....

Oh man, I can totally relate, if im not focused on the previous days activities, then there seems to be some stupid song that I havent even heard in years playing in my head..OVER AND OVER.
I dont even listen to the radio anymore

The curse of the thinker is what I call it.My mind is so wound up constantly from one topic to the other about situations,anecdotes and wild imaginations.I have tried every thing except for sleep aides.Right now I'm trying the paralyze method where you start at your toes and actually talk to them and convince them they are numb.And then do the same to every joint til you get to your head.I have never made it past my elbow....I know,a little out there but it seems to work.

reply to post by Midnight4444


I do this also. I start by picturing a jungle and then walking to stone steps. They lead down and as I travel ever downwards I see vines leading me on my path. I also imagine hearing jungle sounds. Something about the going down leads me to sleep.

Also, I use a noisy fan. It helps to have the white noise.

And when all else fails, I lay on a warm heating pad and read for about 20 minutes. Usually I wake up with my Kindle laying on my chest.

A doc once told me that if I could get in a fifteen minute nap during the day it would help me fall asleep at night. Personally, I can't sleep for just fifteen minutes. Once I am out, I am gone.

reply to post by SarnholeOntarable


Oh, I forgot about that one. Haven't done that in years. Do you clench your muscles first and then release? That is what I used to do.

Thanks for reminding me about it.

I have chronic insomnia, sometimes quite severe. I've tried all kinds of things, with varying success. I have to say, the heavy perscription pills are the only thing that works decisively for me. However, I have not taken them in some years due to a desire not to become dependent on them and and a feeling that anything that good to be true has got to be harmful in some way. Still, when nothing else works and you are at your wits end you might consider seeing a doctor to see if pharmaceutical help is right for you..

I also find it goes in waves. Lately has been better for me than a few years ago. Lately I've been playing with one particular psychological trick somebody recommended: Simply visualize the color BLACK. It shouldn't be too hard because that's what you see when you close your eyes. Focus on seeing BLACK. I picture a square that is perfectly black and try to hold my mind on this concept. If you find yourself distracted by thoughts, break off and go back to visualizing BLACK.

I find It works suprisingly well.

i had this problem before my exams,,,i had it recently during health check ups and work issues and domestic issues

BEST THING that worked for me....



its an hour long...i gaurantee you sleep by the end of it
best place to watch it is on tv..with the volume on

earth views and jazz...simple but brilliant....last third of the tape is brilliant...my favourite song on it..51mins
"# can you hear the sound of the underground train...." [starts 50:08 mins]

looking at the earth from that view puts all your issues into percpective...
and the jazz just settles your heart...i actually think id be dead without BR alpha...i had it in the 90s on sattelite...space night - for 6hrs on a german channel, only place to get it now is on dvd.

erm, i didnt smoke a joint to this..oh no

This has worked for me in the past...slowly draw in as much air until your lungs are full, hold the air as long as you can comfortably, then exhale slowly. I repeat this something to the order of ten or fifteen times. The key for me is to inhale and exhale slowly. Following this technique I count backwards from one hundred and I'm usually down fairly quickly. It works for me so perhaps it may help you

I got a few things to add.

Definitely get a loud fan like another poster said. I find it to be soothing and it almost sounds like rain.

Another tip that no one has mentioned yet is getting a memory foam topper to put on top of your mattress.

You can get a decent memory foam topper for about 50 bucks. You will sink into your bed and literally feel weightless. Highly recommended.

reply to post by rai76


Oh yeah. Lie awake tossing and turning for hours till 2, 3 or 4 am.
I was like that. It sucks and your exhausted the mentally the next day.
It got better as I aged.

The one thing that did help me when I was younger was. To be frank. masturbation.
That helped me to relax my thoughts enough to be able to sleep.

Now that I have 2 kids. I'm too exhuasted stay awake past 10 or 11pm.

So yeah. Have kids or do the other thing.

Originally posted by grey580
reply to post by rai76

 

Oh yeah. Lie awake tossing and turning for hours till 2, 3 or 4 am.
I was like that. It sucks and your exhausted the mentally the next day.
It got better as I aged.

The one thing that did help me when I was younger was. To be frank. masturbation.
That helped me to relax my thoughts enough to be able to sleep.

Now that I have 2 kids. I'm too exhuasted stay awake past 10 or 11pm.

So yeah. Have kids or do the other thing.

I was always afraid of the blindness!

reply to post by grey580


Ugh, thanks for the mental image

The one thing that did help me when I was younger was. To be frank. masturbation. That helped me to relax my thoughts enough to be able to sleep.

Try searching youtube for rain or thunderstorms. Get one that goes on for at least an hour or two, then turn it up, close your eyes, and just relax and imagine that it really is raining. With or without headsets fine, adjust volume to suit your preference on the loudness of rain and thunder. You might also open up different youtube tabs with different sounds, like rain on one of them, wind in the trees on another, sound of thunder, and you can adjust the volume for each of them to create your own environment.

I also have similar problems mostly my imagination running wild. I do different techniques depending on my day and hours slept the night befor. If I had a full nights sleep the following night I will be up for at least 2 to 3 hours when I should be sleeping, on those days I try to go run for two miles or go to the gym right after work just to clear my mind. On other nights where I need to sleep at a certain time just to make it through work I will meditate for 20 mins and then lay down focusing on inhaling and exhaling breaths (i say up and down in my head) and focus staring at the inside of my eye lids. those two have been by far in helping me fall asleep fast. On weekends when I change my sleeping pattern I get all thrown off and nothing seems to help. Another great way is to listen to binural beats on a lower volume, incorporated with one of the techniques I use really helps me go fast. good luck everyone

I have had issues with sleep since my combat duty. One thing I learned is to just not fight it. I actually only sleep 3-4 hours in a 24 hour period. If I can't fall asleep I get back up and read or just sit on the porch and listen to the sounds of nature. I've always been one who doesn't require alt of sleep to be refreshed. You may find that your body will adapt in a similar manner over time. I know it can suck when you have to work everyday. The stress from not sleeping adds to it even more. As another poster said deep breething works well to. If you focus on nothing but your breathing and counting it may just work. It has worked for me in the past when I am wound up like a top. If you are a music fan try The Mozart Brainey Baby album, I play it for my daughter all the time. It is just nice relaxing music.

I have horrible insomnia too! I use the breathing and when I can get my mind to just shut up for a few minutes I'll close my eyes and visualize a white light and follow it with my eyes wherever it might go, and it does move all over the place since your mind doesn't want to settle down so just follow it around and you do eventually just fall asleep. It sometimes works for me!