It just seems so hopeless...

This is my first thread, so please be nice.

I don't even know where to begin, but I figured ATS was the place to discuss it. I think I'm having some kind of conspiracy theory/awakening burnout. Since Occupy started last year, I have been thrust into a far deeper awakening than I could have ever imagined. Shortly after it all began, I started having anxiety attacks, but I seem to be doing far better managing the anxiety that all the events around the world have been giving me.

I read up on Agenda 21 the other day. Spent pretty much the whole day reading everything I could about it. It seemed to make everything that is wrong with the world make sense instantly. Especially in the US. Wow. I look around, and while I become far more aware politically and socially as time goes on, I can not ever remember a time it all seemed so bleak.

Our electoral process is a sham, so we are pretty much guaranteed four more years of the same crap either way. Nobody in power cares about humanity, really, when it all comes down to it. The rich keep getting richer, while everyone else is slaving and getting poorer. The corporations pump out toxins and poisons into our environment, food supply, and bodies. The police have become militarized, and it seems the government, and our military, is preparing for mass civil unrest. We have no more rights that were guaranteed us by the Constitution, and people who stand up for liberty are hauled off to mental institutions, silenced, censored, or worse. Our prisons are for-profit, and vow to stay at 90% capacity, primarily through the war on drugs. We are routinely lied to, manipulated, abused, and distracted. Our economy is literally on the verge of collapsing, and all people seem to care about are celebrities, division, and themselves.

While I'm all for suicide, I plan to save that for something like speeding up the end to a terminal illness, so that is not an option, before anyone thinks that's where this is headed. I also have 3 kids I need to protect from all of this madness. Voting isn't going to change anything, so I jumped on the Presidential election boycott bandwagon, much to the horror and dismay of many of my friends.

As an aside, lol, I screamed about all the other issues, people were silent. Try telling people you aren't going to vote. I've been called unpatriotic, told to move to another country, that I have no right to complain if I don't vote, that I am insulting all the women who fought for my right to vote, blah blah blah. I have even lost several close friends because of it, and at that time, I was only questioning it. It is fascinating to watch the incredibly emotional reactions to something so simple, so harmless. I would have been treated better if I had said I had an abortion.

So besides not voting, what can we possibly do to change anything BEFORE it's too late? I'm not looking for an actual answer, because considering Agenda 21, to me, there IS no answer, except, prepare for a suvival type situation, and I am woefully unprepared. I have a box of dry food, and few supplies, a couple chapters of a survival manual printed out, a skeleton of a plan for where to go (temperate, in the woods, with lots of plants, animals, and water, preferably in a nice big cave), dreams of learning how to grow my own food, make vinegar, alcohol, soap, candles, and anything else useful that would make me and my kids less of a liability in a group.

But the fact that I actually believe we have come to the point where if I don't do these things NOW, myself and my children will be whisked off to a FEMA camp when SHTF, or shot by our own military for trying to escape my neighborhood, makes me seriously question my sanity. If it weren't for all the like-minded, intelligent and educated people shouting similar concerns and observations, I would definitely think I was nuts.

This is not a debate thread, so please don't try to refute any of the issues I am concerned about (unless I actually am bat-guano crazy), and PLEASE don't attack me for not voting. What I would like from you, is to know if it ever gets to you like this, and what you do about it. I'm also looking to connect with other like-minded individuals so I feel less isolated. Thank you for reading this, and I look forward to your replies.

Step away from your computer take a deep breath and enjoy a beautifull day,none of this is new,generations before you had the same or similar concerns,by all-means prepare and be responsible for your children,but don't worry to much about it,the world is still spinning and will do far into the future
I'm a parent too feel free to u2u me.

Suicide is no way an answer, and it deeply disturbed me that you have considered or maybe even still considering it OP. Just try to relax as the poster above me has stated and relax. The way things are going with politics does not please me either, but we all have to try to hope that someday it will change for the better.

reply to post by Rubicant13


I'm sorry, I thought I was reassuring the reader the way I worded my thoughts on suicide. I am now in no way, shape, or form considering harming myself or anyone else. I just felt my post seemed so depressing, I should clarify I wasn't about to go off the deep end.

I do have a very difficult time tearing myself away from the computer, and when I can, my thoughts are near-constantly consumed with all of the new information I found, and it seems everywhere I look, I SEE how horrible it is becoming. I used to be so optimistic, but now I feel like optimism in this environment is naieve.

And to the poster above, I fully acknowledge that each generation can find their state of affairs to seem abysmal, but this crap seems to be increasing in severity exponentially. Am I wrong there? Is it getting far worse far more quickly? I'm not claiming to have a complete knowledge of history or politics, but from what I can see, we're at a tipping point.

Maybe that's something this thread can debate: do you believe we are on the verge of collapse as a society?

reply to post by azamber


For me, I relied on instincts to set forth a plan. You're welcome to my blogs. I'm not saying you'll find any feel good medicine, but there are solutions present. We'll see how it turns out... Either way, all we can do is our part.

There are many things wrong with the world but after many years investigating conspiracies and other "lunatic fringe" ideas I have slowly but surely come to the conclusion that there is no "one big overarching conspiracy." Rather there are numerous smaller (but still quite serious) conspiracies and simple "problems" that are not necessarily engineered consciously by the proverbial men in black or in a smoke-filled back room.

A lot of the evil that happens in this world happens due to what has been called "the banality of evil": people simply doing their jobs or pursuing their goals unconsiously and nobody stopping to question or be concerned with where the crazytrain is going. The crazytrain often has no conductor and no breaks, which can be scarier than a train controlled by a malicious conductor, if you think about it.

This is all a bit bleak on some levels. but I also think you can draw a rather more comforting conclusion from this: There is not "one big problem" that is insurmountable but rather lots of little problems that can, in turn, be broken down into even smaller components. When you realize this you suddenly have a better map of what needs to be fixed, and how it can be tackled in smaller bite-sizes. Realizing also your own limited nature and the fact that you are not all-powerful, you can choose to devote yourself to working on ONE or A FEW of these smaller bite-sized problems. When you do this, the more specific you can be, the more likely you are to see CONCRETE RESULTS. And that's what we should all be pushing for. Concrete results we can actually achieve.

If enough people work in their own "neck of the woods" on bite-sized concrete objectives, there is a chance that some of the bigger issues really can be resolved. Its not a guarantee, but its something to hold onto when then panic at the enormity of it all seems overwhelming. A sense of perspective and a realization of our own limits is humbling -- and yet it may be the best chance we have at the end of the day. Good luck, OP.

reply to post by azamber


I apologize. I was just hoping that such a thought wasn't still in mind.

Originally posted by azamber
So besides not voting, what can we possibly do to change anything BEFORE it's too late?

Not to add to your angst. But. It is too late. Nothing you can do to change anything now. Just have to accept it and tread forward.

I have a box of dry food,

Let me guess. Fruit Loops. Right? Not gonna get you very far.

and few supplies,

A roll of scotch tape and a brown paper bag?
(closes eyes and shakes head in utter disbelief.. these days.. some people.. sigh..)

a couple chapters of a survival manual printed out,

You mean this manual?

a skeleton of a plan for where to go (temperate, in the woods, with lots of plants, animals, and water, preferably in a nice big cave),

Do you really expect to find all of that by looking around on google maps?

dreams of learning how to grow my own food, make vinegar, alcohol, soap, candles, and anything else useful that would make me and my kids less of a liability in a group.

Dreams are good. I have dreams too.




You should just kick it back and relax. Anything bad happens just keep your head. Humans have survived millenia without all the fancy kits, gizmos and doodads.

Your natural survival instincts will kick in and you will be fine. Maybe a bit feral. But fine.

reply to post by azamber


My only suggestion is to take a step back from the big picture for a moment and look at your local community. Focus on getting involved, getting connected, and solving the problems there. An individual can't control the federal government or whatever evil conspiracies are thrown at us by our corporate overlords. Only a strong community can. Focus on getting involved, getting connected, and working on the problems around you. That's the first step and can make a bigger difference than you realize.

Also to note, if or when the SHTF, in whatever form that takes, it's the strong communities that work well together that will survive and make a difference. Everyone simply fending for themselves will do nothing but cause chaos and assure our downfall.

reply to post by azamber


The fact that you're not voting shows that you've learned not to be fooled.

I think that things are as bad as you described.

What gives me hope is the possibility that things are this bad because they have to be before they can get better. We have to have a crisis situation in order to wake up enough of humanity - critical mass - so that we can work together to create a new paradigm for society.

Something that keeps my morale going is to follow Sterling Allan's efforts to create a better future at Pure Energy Systems and to look for others in the public eye who are advocating solutions to the world's problems. Having a YouTube account so that I can comment in support of YouTubers who are communicating through their videos is another source of inspiration for me.

Thank you for reaching out. (Aren't you glad we have the internet? )

reply to post by azamber

I hope you won't mind if I take a slightly different approach. You've heard the saying "You are what you eat?" In the same way, what you fill your mind with is what you become. Another poster suggested that you enjoy a beautiful day. That's a good start, but try to go a little further.

I know I get upset when I watch a nightly news show, or read the paper, so I've stopped. I've found a few internet sites with decent news without the fear, hate, and suspicion. I've learned to enjoy studying clouds for their beauty. You have three kids? What a job, and what a joy, you'll have filling them with love, and goodness, and hope.

Don't let fear into your life, it can eat you alive. Run from your sources of fear if you have to.

There is so much more to say. You have been given, and have given, life. Celebrate that.

Hopeless you say ? on the contrary
all i see now is hope and a good futur for humanity
but the dark cabal wants you to think with fear based illusions from your mind .. be free
they want you to feel that way to feel miserable so dont play their game because they lie
live a happy, fearless and loving life for thousand of more yrs to come with your familly
be at peace with yourself is the key .. and it all comes from your heart not your mind

You're not crazy. You're just more open-eyed than your so-called friends. But don't blame them. Have you ever seen this video before?



It may explain why they reacted the way they did. We're all programmed and indoctrinated, starting at birth. Our eyes are a bit more open, but everyone who is still "asleep" (a cute, popular term that seems to sum it up) is not going to respond in a way that is very flattering. All part of the plan, I'm afraid.

I don't even bother to prepare. Whatever is going to happen, will happen. I don't see how, in this age, there is any possible way to escape. Their technology and resources are too superior. Besides, I would rather die anyway. I don't really want to live. That's just me.

reply to post by azamber

I read up on Agenda 21 the other day. Spent pretty much the whole day reading everything I could about it. It seemed to make everything that is wrong with the world make sense instantly. Especially in the US. Wow. I look around, and while I become far more aware politically and socially as time goes on, I can not ever remember a time it all seemed so bleak. Our electoral process is a sham, so we are pretty much guaranteed four more years of the same crap either way. Nobody in power cares about humanity, really, when it all comes down to it. The rich keep getting richer, while everyone else is slaving and getting poorer. The corporations pump out toxins and poisons into our environment, food supply, and bodies. The police have become militarized, and it seems the government, and our military, is preparing for mass civil unrest. We have no more rights that were guaranteed us by the Constitution, and people who stand up for liberty are hauled off to mental institutions, silenced, censored, or worse. Our prisons are for-profit, and vow to stay at 90% capacity, primarily through the war on drugs. We are routinely lied to, manipulated, abused, and distracted. Our economy is literally on the verge of collapsing, and all people seem to care about are celebrities, division, and themselves. While I'm all for suicide, I plan to save that for something like speeding up the end to a terminal illness, so that is not an option, before anyone thinks that's where this is headed. I also have 3 kids I need to protect from all of this madness. Voting isn't going to change anything, so I jumped on the Presidential election boycott bandwagon, much to the horror and dismay of many of my friends.

To much of this being awake to the world consciousness is like anything else in excess, it can be bad for you.
And it isn't for everyone.

OP if you are taking more and more time away from your kids because you're " awake "?
Then you should have went with the blue pill.

reply to post by emberscott


Oh, I had to stop at your post and reply after I gave you a star. I found it to be incredibly humorous, despite your tone. No, none of those were true, I've been lurking around ATS long enough to have learned a thing or two. I do appreciate the laugh, as I have needed one, and no, it's not at you. You were genuinely funny, in a heartless kind of way. But still. I had a good laugh at myself in the process.

You need to check out the doco, Wake Up call remastered - new World order on youtube. The doco goes for 2h30min, but when you see that, you really get a real wake up call. Just saw it yesterday and by the time i finished watching it, it was 5am. Sat outside, had a few smokes and watched the sun come up. Changed me so much, i don't see things the same anymore.

But heres where you have to draw the line. There is nothing you can do about it. The world doesn't want to deal with the real truths anymore. People are programmed into not caring, not seeing. As long as they have their television programs, a roof over their heads and the latest iphone, all is good.

Do yourself a favour and youtube the clip i mentioned. Find 150 minutes and really see the world how it is. After so, go back to life and looked after yourself and the family, because what else can you do!

*hugs*

reply to post by azamber


That was a really good OP, azamber! It's a good example of the feeling of helplessness in today's society in America. I can't imagine what it's like to have children to take care of when you feel this way. It certainly looks bleak in this country. Of course I have no advice, nor do I think things are going to get better. Everyone I talk to in real life seem to be more cynical than I ever remember. In fact, optimism for the state of this country looks totally naive.

How do I deal with it? I read, write, pay my bills, and think about others. Those who have to deal with military checkpoints to go to work, remote controlled aircraft firing missiles at their friend's and family's homes, and those whose loved ones have been sent to secret prisons to be tortured. Nothing like that has happened to me, my family, or my friends. So I think about others and wait...

Aw, thank you all so much! Even the "blue pill" responder. You all brought a tear or two to my eyes. ATS is truly a great community, for the most part. I think I gave you all a star. You are all correct in one way or another. And yes, I could be a far more effective human being if I could get a grip on this emotionally, but I don't want to lose my humanity in the process.

I guess the best way to describe me emotionally would be that I am highly intuitive and empathic. It's hard to tame, really, it is. I've gone through, and successively overcome, bouts with "clinical depression" (4 mos on anti-depressants 15 years ago before I kicked it), and anxiety attacks (2 months on a low dose of Ativan last year right after Occupy started, before I realized the dangers of benzos and saw I had no other choice but to kick that one too).

Typically, I am a very strong, positive, and happy woman, and people who know me would use those words to describe me, from what I've heard. I am also very sensitive, and occasionally prone to bouts of fear, (as at least one of you pointed out), anxiety, depression, deep compassion (which typically results in tremendous sadness).

But no, I'm glad I took the red pill. I don't want to be "asleep" and taken by surprise, nor do I want to see my children suffer the same fate. It's just sometimes too much to deal with. I go through cycles. Sometimes, I feel strong, empowered, and actively engaged, while other times, it just overwhelms and paralyzes me.

I know many of my friends view me as "alarmist", and maybe I am. Thought I'd throw it out there on something far more anonymous than Facebook, where I could really get a clearer idea of it all, without people's pre-conceived ideas about me. IOW, I knew I had a greater chance of being taken seriously here. Thanks for proving me right. I feel a little less hopeless with the reminder that I'm not the only one who feels we are all not only in this together, but we truly are One.

I have not touched on everything I wanted to reply to, nor do I want this conversation to end. I have some videos to check out now, some points to ponder, and hopefully, new opinions to consider when I check this thread again. Thank you ALL again, much love to you.

reply to post by Rubicant13


Thank you so much for your heartfelt concern. Your apology is unnecessary.

Originally posted by charles1952
reply to post by azamber

 

I know I get upset when I watch a nightly news show, or read the paper, so I've stopped. I've found a few internet sites with decent news without the fear, hate, and suspicion. I've learned to enjoy studying clouds for their beauty. You have three kids? What a job, and what a joy, you'll have filling them with love, and goodness, and hope.

Don't let fear into your life, it can eat you alive. Run from your sources of fear if you have to.

There is so much more to say. You have been given, and have given, life. Celebrate that.

I can't ignore it until I feel I am prepared. This thought overwhelms me. I don't have survival skills. Those things take years of studying to master. I do have an awesome fiance who has more skills (and tools) than I, but relying on others in that type of scenario seems suicidal.

I do appreciate the beauty in this life, which is why I fear losing it so much. I don't know how to conquer fear when running from it seems irresponsible. Fear seems to be the primary motivator for learning survival skills, and I think that's important right now, even if just for an extreme weather phenomenon. Maybe once I learn these skills, I can abandon fear and all it's unnecessary ugliness.

My kids are why I worry. If it weren't for them, I'd already be out of the city, away from the diversity of services it provides for them.

Thank you for your thoughtful post.