Would you allow an old, dying man to indulge and share a story? As I lay here , I can’t help but think of my sweetest memory. Sure, it was years ago
( 2014 to be exact), but I remember it like it was yesterday.
First, a little back story, if I may. I was abused greatly by my dad. Physical, emotional and sexual abuse. In fact my earliest memory is of my dad
raping me ( Yes, I am a guy).
Can you imagine that? Never being able to know what innocence is like? Never having a childhood?
Anyway, This all went on until I was 9 and finally some one reported the abuse. I was taken away from my parents pretty much as soon as CPS showed up
at the door to investigate.
Over the years I was passed around from foster home to foster home and began to realize that no one wants to adopt an older kid with the background I
have. Everyone wants a cute little baby.
I gave up on ever being adopted., Which hurt because all I wanted was a family. A family full of love, rather than the foster homes that simply just
put up with me or occasionally beat me( Until I got big enough to fight back...).
Fast forward to 18 years old. 2014. I never was adopted. I was out on my own now. Working as a bank teller. In walks this beautiful girl. I mean, so
beautiful that I was practically drooling. The kind that is so hot, you think there is no way in a million years that she would ever like you.
She came to my window to have a check cashed, if I recall correctly. I flirted a bit, but she ignored it, until the end when I asked if there is
anything else I can do for her.
She said "yeah, you could give me your number". Needless to say she got it.
We dated , hit it off and eventually got married. What a great day that was. After a while, we decided we wanted to have a baby and we tried and
tried.
She wouldn't get pregnant though. We went to the doctor trying to find out if anything was wrong and the result broke our heart. Female infertility.
Her Uterus was misshapen and it made it impossible for a fertilized egg to implant itself.
We went home sad, even crying a bit. That night she came to me, and brought up the idea of adoption. I had been thinking about it, but was waiting to
bring it up as a possibility until some of the heartache went away.
I think she knew I would love the idea though, considering where I came from.
We talked and decided that we were not going to have a predetermination about what we wanted. Boy or girl, no matter the age, if we clicked, we
clicked.
We finally found a beautiful little girl. 7 years old. A similar background to mine. Only she was just taken away from her parents a few months
before.
We got along great. But at the same time she was very scared. Which I understood. New place, new people. Not sure what to expect.
I remember she was extra careful to mind her P's and Q's for the first long while. But a part of that was her afraid to come out of her shell and be
herself, for fear of rejection.
Gradually she started relaxing but she was not calling us mom or dad yet.
As she started coming out of her shell, she eventually did something to get in trouble. I can't even remember what it was she did now.
So, I am getting after her and she realizes there is going to be a punishment, her lip starts quivering and she begins to cry like a baby and starts
pulling her pants off. I asked her " Sweetheart what are you doing?" She looked at me and said "You're going to punish me".
Then I asked “But why are you taking your pants off?” Crying and looking slightly confused she said" Aren't you going to put your thingy in me?
I'll be good if you don't, I promise! it hurts too bad. Please?". Her lower lip quivering the whole time, looking absolutely terrified.
Poor thing, thought she was going to be punished with rape! My heart broke for her.
I told her to put her pants back on and she was still crying ( My wife watching to see how I would handle it.) I hugged her and held her and told her
that I would never ever do anything like that to her.
I remember saying " Honey, I love you and you are so precious. You are safe here, I promise you. Please believe me."
Then she started crying even more! I asked what was wrong. she shook her head no and looked at me and said " I love you too, Daddy" and she gave me
the biggest and most warm hug.
Needless to say, I started crying too. That was the happiest moment of my life. The first time my daughter told me she loved me AND called me
daddy.
She has sense grown into a beautiful woman and grows more beautiful everyday and is truly happy with a family of her own. Now, we are ALL truly
happy.
I have my girls . My angels...But most important....I have the family I always wanted.
Oh, the sweet memories.
edit on 21-9-2012 by DirtyLiberalHippie because: (no reason given)