An Open Letter to all ATS Members, Mods, and Staff.

Hi, my name is tvtexan and I’m a trollaholic.

It’s actually very hard for me to admit that, especially to myself.
I never intended to become a troll… heck I didn’t even know what that meant before I joined ATS. Maybe I still don’t fully understand what that means, but I do know what it means to me, and how I gradually became something I’m not proud of.

So where did I go wrong?
I guess it started with my own introductory thread. I was so excited about joining my first online community and sharing my personal experiences with everyone that I didn’t even consider that someone would think I was lying, demand proof, or even post the infamous “pics or it didn’t happen”. So feeling kind of deflated, and with all my naiveté, I took offense!

That was a HUGE rookie mistake!

What I didn’t realize was that by taking in offense I was only giving it a place to grow and thrive. Soon I became more and more offended and eventually starting throwing out the same sharp barbed comments that had wounded my own ego. After time I became more and more withdrawn from actively participating in threads and began to simply wait in the shadows to lurch out and growl at someone or make a hit-n-run smartass comment.

I can tell you from experience that that type of posting doesn’t go unnoticed by the Mods here. I found myself constantly running afoul of the T&C’s and soon the Warnings and eventual Posting Bans came in. So what did the great tvtexan do about all this attention from the Mods?.... Well instead of taking responsibility for myself and modifying my behavior I became convinced that “they” were out to get me!

Thoughts like….“There must be a conspiracy going on with the Mods here!” or “ I’ll bet the CIA is trying to control my mind through the Mods!” or even “I can’t find my car keys! Oh my God! The Mods have broken into my house and stolen them!” all crossed my mind at one point. I’m sure I’m the only one who ever had those thoughts.

So what’s the point? Where is all this going you ask?
Well during my last, and I mean LAST, involuntary posting vacation I had an epiphany! I mean a literal Cranial-Rectal Inversion Reversion! (you might have to read that one again) I considered the place where I found myself and how far removed I was from where I started and somehow, someway, I realized that I had no one to blame but myself. I realized that I had become the very thing I detested at the beginning and that I was now the one others were complaining about. That was a pretty hard mirror to look into, and it actually made me pretty upset with myself. I am ashamed.

With all of that being said, I really need to make a few apologies:

First, to any member I have offended, I AM SO SORRY! You deserved better than what I gave you! I wish I could take back what I said, but I can only offer my promise of respect and courteous discourse in your future posts. Please don’t take my path by dwelling on offense or the ramblings of mad men.

Second, to all the Staff and Moderators here, you have a voluntary and usually thankless job that requires you to deal with jerks like me, however.… I have yet to hear of any of you going on a killing spree! I did say “yet” right? Seriously, thanks for the job you do. Special thanks to ElevatedOne and tothetenthpower, if not for them I would not have been able to make amends. You won't be disappointed. Sorry for all the gray hairs, I hope you didn't kick the dog on my account.

Lastly, I need to apologize to Corruption Exposed. While we may not agree on everything, you deserve better than emotional outbursts from a cranky old man. I appreciate your wit, forthrightness, and ability to convey your thoughts without the need for name calling. You have my apologies and my respect. I’m sorry bro! (Although I do think the pink looked good! )

Well I guess that’s it for now, thanks for indulging me, I guess all I need now is a group hug!

Once again, sorry.

tvtexan


ETA: Please do not give me ANY Stars or Flags, that's not what this is about!

reply to post by tvtexan


Is this a shameless bid for stars and flags?

I'm willing to bet you get at least 20 stars and 20 flags. Anyone have a different guess?

Heartfelt apologies are always a guaranteed bump here on ATS. The turkeys love these niblets. Gobble-gobble!

This thread should have some cinematic theme music.

Wow, great insight. Most people get so deep into the hole and their snowball has grown to such a size that they are unlikely to ever have an epiphany like this. S&F

reply to post by tvtexan



LOL bro it's all good, I'm known for some drunken trolling myself I must admit.

I appreciate the thread and it seems sincere. I don't hold grudges on here and always welcome threads like these especially since I have had to author a few of my own just like this one

Do you ever wake up and realize "wtf was I thinking last night? I don't even remember posting that #"?



I miss the old avatar though

Not only am I a trollaholic, but I'm an alcoholic too!

Got to love Canadian beer

Originally posted by InTheFlesh1980
reply to post by tvtexan

 

Is this a shameless bid for stars and flags?

I'm willing to bet you get at least 20 stars and 20 flags. Anyone have a different guess?

Heartfelt apologies are always a guaranteed bump here on ATS. The turkeys love these niblets. Gobble-gobble!

This thread should have some cinematic theme music.

Whether he is sincere or not I thought it was well written and will give him the benefit of the doubt until he gives me reason to think otherwise. There are plenty of members on here that I used to go toe to toe with and it could get real ugly but now we have become somewhat tolerant of each other and now try and treat each other with more respect when we interact.

Me and tvtexan have been going at it over the last few days and a lot of members had to put up with our "battle" of egos and wits so as I said he gets the benefit of the doubt until he proves otherwise.

Hey tvtexan,

Good for you being very introspective!!

I think you deserve a fresh start......honesty is the best policy and I applaud you for that!

reply to post by Corruption Exposed


It is well written. As an avid reader here on ats he sound very familiar to me !!!!! hmmm. One of the moderator got banned recently & i wonder why? Yikes.

Originally posted by InTheFlesh1980
reply to post by tvtexan

 

Is this a shameless bid for stars and flags?

I'm willing to bet you get at least 20 stars and 20 flags. Anyone have a different guess?

Heartfelt apologies are always a guaranteed bump here on ATS. The turkeys love these niblets. Gobble-gobble!

This thread should have some cinematic theme music.

His message seems genuine to me. If for some reason it's not legitimate...I still think it holds value as it's well written and actually made me think about some of the times I've been offended on ATS and taken on a negative vibe as a result. Overall I think this thread does a service to our community so regardless of the intentions(which I think are good) it's not causing any harm. Just my opinion.

PS: It seems like you are projecting. When you make a thread are you licking your lips as you type wondering how many stars and/or flags you're going to get? Do stars and flags really matter that much? It's not like they are stealing gold bars from fort knox when they get them, there's not a cap on the reserve of stars and flags...we aren't going to run out of them.

...but if you are than well said friend. We all make mistakes, but don'tcha let it happen again ya'hear?
I mean after all...why so serious?

I know where you are coming from,tvtexan.

Been down that hole and back several times.

Good for you!
I to probably should apologize for some of my actions.
But,hey we are real people with real lives and problems.

Sometimes this place can be a good,or bad ,outlet for that frustration called life.

Peace,
K

reply to post by tvtexan


well done tvtexan, it takes some of the biggest people in the world to admit they are wrong, and it gets you HUGE points in my book. Nice to know your not doing the "Troll" thing anymore (as far as im aware) i'm sure your inputs and opinions will be much appreciated here.

no star or flag though, as per your request.

Love, Light, and all that crap....

Originally posted by Epirus
PS: It seems like you are projecting. When you make a thread are you licking your lips as you type wondering how many stars and/or flags you're going to get? Do stars and flags really matter that much? It's not like they are stealing gold bars from fort knox when they get them, there's not a cap on the reserve of stars and flags...we aren't going to run out of them.

edit on 14-9-2012 by Epirus because: (no reason given)

Well Epirus, perhaps I am projecting a bit. I have been guilty in the past of salivating while typing, envisioning long chains of stars and ever-increasing flag-counts. It's an insatiable addiction that can ruin even the best on ATS. At first, I thought that stars and flags were an international currency that I could buy tasty breakfast cereal with, but by the time I realized they meant very little, it was too late.

And for my sins, I would like to use this thread as my platform to officially apologize to you, Epirus, and everyone else I may have offended by projecting my problems onto others. I'm sorry for not being the best I can be. And I'm sorry to my Grandma, and to your Grandma. I'm sorry for everything!

reply to post by tvtexan


That was a nice post, TVTexan !

Admitting wrong doing is never easy. It takes a serious person to admit it.

The one who will get the real benefits from all of this is You !!

Originally posted by InTheFlesh1980

Originally posted by Epirus
PS: It seems like you are projecting. When you make a thread are you licking your lips as you type wondering how many stars and/or flags you're going to get? Do stars and flags really matter that much? It's not like they are stealing gold bars from fort knox when they get them, there's not a cap on the reserve of stars and flags...we aren't going to run out of them.

edit on 14-9-2012 by Epirus because: (no reason given)

Well Epirus, perhaps I am projecting a bit. I have been guilty in the past of salivating while typing, envisioning long chains of stars and ever-increasing flag-counts. It's an insatiable addiction that can ruin even the best on ATS. At first, I thought that stars and flags were an international currency that I could buy tasty breakfast cereal with, but by the time I realized they meant very little, it was too late.

And for my sins, I would like to use this thread as my platform to officially apologize to you, Epirus, and everyone else I may have offended by projecting my problems onto others. I'm sorry for not being the best I can be. And I'm sorry to my Grandma, and to your Grandma. I'm sorry for everything!

edit on 14-9-2012 by InTheFlesh1980 because: (no reason given)

Haha well at least you have a sense of humor, I'll give you a star for that

tvtexan
Nice thread and you deserve a fresh new start.. Good for you coming in to apologize we all make mistakes and most learn from them..I know when i get frustrated on here i just shut the computer down and go find something else to do then after i cool off come back later..peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by tvtexan


I think at one time or another some of us have acted like trolls
without meaning to.I sometimes treat my fellow members like
they are mice that I'm playing with.It is all fun and games until
the mods,a.k.a.school crossing guards, show up and penalty
flags start popping up.Then we all have our halos on and start
behaving ourselves.
Good luck in turning your life around here.Always remember this,
if someone or something is bothering you here,step away for a day
or two.

reply to post by tvtexan


I'm not among the bigger posters on this site, but I had been thinking of my own "apology thread" recently. I've never been put in time out or banned or whatever, probably because I stay away from personal attacks. After reading the OP though, it got me thinking more about what I had been thinking about, which is this...

I've noticed myself doing less "contributing" and more railing against certain things. Primarily, complaining about my annoyances (primarily, people speaking with certainty about topics they clearly don't understand.) Some of them just seem so repetitive, and I find myself drawn to them, and then focusing on those posts, and unleashing my exasperated tirade. In retrospect, two things: 1) don't do that self, just explain the position, and 2) don't make such efforts 90% of my time here. Instead of contributing, amd furthering a topic, I'm wasting the effort, basically trying to quash other's thinking on a matter. Stupid, and useless.

Anyhow, probably very few people have encountered it from me, but if any have, I'm sorry for the piss-poor nature of some of my replies. My plan is to stop nitpicking on such things, and spend more time either furthering discussion on those things I have knowledge in, or just presenting the dissenting opinion, while acknowledging the opposing (rather than juat a waa-waa-waa, you're wrong kinda mentality)

So thanks for the thread, I think it helped pull me out of a rut as well. Kudos to you.

Sometimes it's hard to muster the courage to apologize for past transgressions. I, too, have
lashed out in anger, at times, at what I perceived to be a naive posting, only to later regret it.

So I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to those I may have harmed with my sarcastic
tongue and hurtful responses to what were honest, heartfelt postings. In fact, if you don't mind,
there are a few others I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to...

To my seventh grade French teacher, Ms. Labeau, I would like to say I'm sorry that you lost your
job, I'm sorry my twelve best friends couldn't keep a secret, I'm sorry that the school administrators
didn't understand (as fully as you did) the true meaning of the word "education", and I hope that
you are happy in your new life and new occupation (whatever and wherever that may be)....
BTW...how is my son?

To the lady at the Quickstop Quickmart I would like to apologize for saying "..I already have one at
home," in response to your question, "Would you like a bag?" I didn't realize that you had already
heard that particular response "A jillion times" and that, "It wasn't funny that first time you head it"
either. I would also like to take back my statement about it being too late for you to receive an
inoculation for mad cow disease...my bad.

To the man at the Traveler's Truckstop, I would like to say I'm sorry that you fell and broke your
wrist. I did not know that the floor had been freshly mopped, or that your response would be to
run, when in response to your knock at my stall door, I said, "Come in". Really, it was just a
joke. I hope that your arm heals quickly and that you are able to get back to performing surgery
soon.

Also, to all those toll collectors who I have paid in bags of pennies, and all of the people
who have waited patiently behind me while they were counted, I would like to say "I'm sorry".
I promise I only have a few hundred thousand pennies left, and I further promise, I won't
be buying anymore......

To my anger management counselor, I would like to say I am sorry for being so antagonistic
all the time, I am sorry about asking the judge what time it it was, and then replying "No further
questions" when he answered, and I'm sorry that you were compelled to change careers as
result of my own character flaws...

And lastly to all the people to whom I have apologized to in the past, I am sorry about my lack of
sincerity, I am sorry that you all were such assholes....