How to Avoid Rape...in a Rape Approving Society

reply to post by tothetenthpower

Rape approving society?

I'm not sure what that means also, but..
Rape affects almost 20% of US women, study says
20% is a huge number, so I guess the U.S "might" be a "Rape approving society" after all.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


No, it's just I consider it nonsense, that people, or organizations, attempt to fear women into changing their behavior.

The scary part, is that women are being taught to worry about ALL men they see and interact with and keep a mentality which seems to suggest that at ANY moment, they could get raped by some wild lunatic man.

And you can't encourage women to have situational awareness, cause then that's apparently victim blaming..

It's fear tactics. You can educate women about rape and men about rape, without insinuating that men are dangerous and uncontrollable to begin with.

That's Misandrist.

~Tenth

Originally posted by tothetenthpower


No, it's just I consider it nonsense, that people, or organizations, attempt to fear women into changing their behavior.

I agree and would like to add how questionable is that women are asked to change their behavior to "avoid being raped". In my book its usually not the woman who needs a behavioral change but the rapist.

reply to post by tothetenthpower



Maybe its just me but i dont feel like the misandry card can be pulled on this one - But i do see the point your making and agree with you. Perhaps society is so sexed up that everyone is on edge lol

reply to post by otherpotato


Well firstly, I was only defensive, because the majority of the time, when the issue of rape comes up, I hardly can get a word edge wise before somebody twists my view into something mysogenist..

Thank you for not doing that. Let me address your post.

The pamphlet (and many other sources) state(s) that women who dress provocatively risk rape. So there is an assumption that provocative dress and rape are linked.

Provocative dress is encouraged in women. It is encouraged from the time women are young through Barbie, Monster High and Bratz Dolls, through advertising, through television shows, through glorified slut celebrities, through "Girls Gone Wild" videos... the list is endless.

So explain to me how I got this "rape culture" statement wrong.

Women are encouraged to dress sexy, it's an empowerment thing if you ask feminists and although I don't believe it SHOULD contribute to rape, it's safe to say that some men will target women for their looks exclusively, not just whether or not they are easy to get to.

I just don't think that dressing sexy = you want to get rape, or = we encourage you to go out and get raped. Why would a women need to change the way she dresses if she's comfortable with it, to suit the needs of men who may or may not be sexual deviants?

I'm not saying don't pay attention, again, situational awareness is important. But I urge women to not plan their day around not being raped.

This has nothing to do with misandry. I believe men are just as much the victims of this line of thinking. I would venture to guess there is a whole lot of date rape that is the direct result of this type of message.

Most rapists are not "monsters." They are average men who would never have believed they were capable of what they did had you asked them before it happened.

I'll agree with the first sentence, there is a lot of abuse towards men regarding date rape. According to some if two peopel are drunk and ahve sex, but the women did not expressly consent to the sex, as in said nothing, then that's rape.

That is nonsense but anybody with common sense can see that.

As for the second, I do believe that ALL rapists are monsters. If you aren't, then you have a sever pshychological problem, so maybe there's less blame there. But to rape soembody, takes a special kind of person.

I know because I am man who has been raped, not by a woman, but I've been in that situation. Not as a child either. The ammount of abuse I've put with with and the ammount of blame people put on my shoulders for somebody else's decision has been insane.

Thank god I have a very strong support system and was able to move through those issues. Anyway the point is that I've never met anybody who had raped somebody that was a good person, at least not at time they did it and not shortly there after.

And most "sluts" are not that way because they genuinely enjoy it. They were brought up to believe that their function in life is to be a pretty toy for men.

This is an equal opportunity issue - and a very big problem in my mind. Why not talk honestly about it instead of getting defensive.

I dont' blame people for liking sex. I don't believe that the vast majority of that colorful word you used are bad. I think they simply enjoy sex and should not be shamed for it. That's why I would love to see legalized sex work, in safe, clean environments.

Again my problem arises from the fact that most rape conversations are VERY one sided.

~Tenth

Actually this whole thing reeks of feminazism's get evenism with all men and every man and demonizing men in any way shape or form.

Because the underlying message between it is that you must assume that all men are rapists.

So yes, that is a bigoted thing.

It is wise to be careful and mindful of your surroundings, and always carry protection with you. Screw the nay-sayers that say you can't, because regardless of the criminal enablers, everybody has the right to self defense against their attackers.

I've found the best way to avoid this...kicking in the nads and if they still don't take that as a NO! Then get the knife out you carry and take their tool off leaving a bloody stub.

Here's where you know you've created an interesting thread: you avoid replying for weeks because you know you have to be careful in your responses.

Volatile topics are never quick. Nor easy. (Nor for the feint of heart).

Originally posted by Dustytoad
reply to post by otherpotato

 

some guys like me are not the type, but come on... (no pun)
We want sex always, didn't we hand out out the pamphlet?

At least you know what we want..

I havn't done anything in 3 days (girlfriend being boring) and I am questioning my very sanity. Seriously.

edit on 9/13/2012 by Dustytoad because: (no reason given)

Yes. Exactly. My husband tells me this all the time. Biological fact. Men need sex.

Originally posted by otherpotato

Originally posted by Dustytoad
reply to post by otherpotato

 

some guys like me are not the type, but come on... (no pun)
We want sex always, didn't we hand out out the pamphlet?

At least you know what we want..

I havn't done anything in 3 days (girlfriend being boring) and I am questioning my very sanity. Seriously.

edit on 9/13/2012 by Dustytoad because: (no reason given)

Yes. Exactly. My husband tells me this all the time. Biological fact. Men need sex.

No women need to embrace the Amazon in them and Bitch slap a man. that's what men truly need a good beat down...put them in their place. Tell you what I'd be the last person that man would rape because he'd be Bobbit-ized.

Women are encouraged to dress sexy, it's an empowerment thing if you ask feminists and although I don't believe it SHOULD contribute to rape, it's safe to say that some men will target women for their looks exclusively, not just whether or not they are easy to get to.

reply to post by tothetenthpower


Thank you for acknowledging that women are encouraged to dress sexy. As for the "empowerment" thing I myself don't understand how dressing this way is empowering. I don't find it empowering at all. Unless you want to get laid. Maybe that's empowering. I can see how that would be. Sexy boots are pretty sexy after all.

reply to post by ldyserenity


Putting men in their place doesn't mean a man beat down. Women need to be put in their place too. We have the upper hand after all.

Biology matters. Let's be fair. And kind (to those deserve it). And unrelenting (to those who don't).

reply to post by tothetenthpower

No, it's just I consider it nonsense, that people, or organizations, attempt to fear women into changing their behavior.

But organizations (and corporations, if you count them as people...which some do) do attempt to fear women into changing their behavior. Pick up a mainstream women's magazine or watch a mainstream movie. Or look at a #ing barbie or bratz doll. Or any number of ad spots,TV shows, move characters.... in the US all women are sluts. Am I wrong?

reply to post by Ameilia


I think the idea behind the dress preoccupation is that men are in large part sexually activated by visual cues, we have created a society around us that explores this particularity, this is the primary reason women use makeup.

Now I do not really understand the urge to rape, I doubt that it is only about opportunity (even if that is the main thing) it is also be about the control of urges in some people, the lack of empathy or the exertion of power over another.

One thing that we should take in consideration is that rapists (like some other behavior disturbances) in part may have served a purpose on our species evolutionary journey or it may be simply be a hangup due to how female sexuality evolved (in comparison with other mammals).

reply to post by tothetenthpower


And here is my "I'm a douche bag" admission because (after having absorbed all comments) I realize I was speaking about rape within a female perspective. This was intended to be about female rape. I realize, by not being clear, I inadvertently denied that rape crosses genders. I apologize for not being specific enough when I posted.