Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Getting in between people in a relationship rarely has a positive outcome. If someone feels they are "in love" there is very little you can do to persuade them.

It sounds like you care a lot about your friend, and it sucks you are in this position. If you lose your friend to a woman, you will be a member of a very large club. In this situation you only have power over yourself, and if moving out is what you have to do to keep your sanity that is what you have to do.

The only other option is the one you don't want, which is to continue on in the situation as it is. And the best way to follow that option healthily is to try to find reasons to like his girlfriend so that maybe you can all get along. Acknowledge that you have as much right to tell him who to date, as he does to you, and put your best foot forward and try to find ways to enjoy BOTH of their company when she is around. Get her a welcome back present of a bottle of wine you can all share or something. Show your classy side, and watch with pity as your friends mind is lost in love/infatuation/whatever.

It sucks but you do have the option of being the awesome person in a #ty situation. Or you can move, your call and your call only.

reply to post by spleenika


She's not his girlfriend. As I said, I'm confused on that point, because he has a "girlfriend" in North Carolina. All this bullcrap is him being "nice".

And no, there's not a whole lot of reason to even try to like her. She's okay to hang out with, drink with, etc. But I ad a conversation last night with a man who said that she was bad news, and to either "stay on top of her, or stay away from her." He said "she gets herself into predicaments" (exactly what i was telling you guys).

I don't know what will happen from here. Right now, I'm just doing my best to avoid her. All I know is, if he chooses her over our friendship, I'll know exactly how he feels about me. If being nice to her is more important than my sanity, then...well, I'll figure it out.

reply to post by AfterInfinity


So your friend is really not interested on this woman for a relationship? Or does he secretly have hopes she may want to have a relationship with him beyond friendship ?

Sounds like a case of one friend not caring for a "friend" of his friend, because of concern.

Trying to dig up dirt, and turning your friend against someone who he is trying to help, most likely won't work, and makes you look like the bad guy to them.

If she is really that much of bad news, I suggest you just sit back and let things unfold, and be there with the salve if he gets burnt, without saying "I told you so".

I also think its reasonable as a friend to tell him you just can't be around this woman, and if he insists on having her there much of the time, you will need to look for new living arrangements.

I really hope things work out for the best for you and your friend.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds


He is interested, although he will deny it. He actually just recently admitted to engaging in "foreplay" with her...which his girlfriend doesn't know about. Speaking of which, I may have to spill those particular beans.

Chick isn't interested in him. But she knows if she plays along, she'll get everything she wants from him. He'll make himself sick helping her, just because she's a warm body that doesn't immediately reject him.

Hire a Private Eye to investigate her.