Charlotte's Doll (1/3) [APWC]

Day One

"Charlotte! Come down stairs and look what I've just got you." Charlotte's Father called as he entered the front door.

"What have you gone and bought now?...What the hell is that? where did you get that?" Said Charlotte's Mother, in surprise of the object her husband was carrying. "She won't want that anyway shes too old for that stuff."

"What are you talking about? She's eight years old for god sake, just because she acts older doesn't mean she won't play with this." Snapped Charlotte's Father in reply.

"Yea! Did you call me? Wooow...is that for me?" I said with great anticipation. I already knew it was, I didn't even have to ask. Who else in this house was going to need possession of a giant, three foot doll. "Oh my god, that doll is amazing, thank you so much Daddy."

"I got it from some guys' trash...but it was just sat on top, nothings wrong with it. Anyway, don't tell Charlotte, she'll never want it if she new it was in the trash." Charlotte's Father, whispered into her Mother's ear.

He didn't whisper very well because I heard him. But I don't mind anyway, I love my new doll regardless. "Ok I'm going to play now!" I said excitedly.

"wait!" My Dad called after me. "You haven't given her a name yet."

"Oh yea!...err...she's going to be called Synthia."

So, off I went to play with my new best friend. I sat her in a small wooden chair a few meters away facing the bed, where I sat opposite and began to study Synthia. She was about three foot tall, so quite a big doll. Her body was soft, filled with wool, and covering her were small clothes, but predominantly she wore a little yellow knitted button up jacket. She wore a little red and white, polka dot dress to her knees, and small black buckle up shoes.

She was amazing, her little porcelain hands were snow white. But above anything, what stood out the most was her white porcelain face, with rosy painted cheeks and small red lips. Her glazed eyes and finally her hair, made of animal fibre that flowed down her back a deep black, like the darkest night.

My only disappointment was the lack of expression written across the dolls face. Aren't dolls meant to be happy and smiling I thought to myself.

"Dinner, honey!" Charlotte's Mother Called.

"Ok Mum! Just Coming!" I yelled back.....

(30 minutes later)

......"That dinner was delicious Synthia, if only you could have tried it." I said to her. "Hey! how did you get on the bed? I'm sure I left you in the chair...oh well."

I probably moved her without realising. Anyway I'm tired, there'll be loads of time to play with you tomorrow I thought, but now it's time for bed.....

(Enter sleep)

.....Riiibbbiit...riibbbiit...ribbit...What's that noise...I look around, and watch as three cartoon frogs materialise out of a wisp of green smoke. It's magical. They bounce over to me, with happy faces and form a ring around me bouncing around and ribbiting away. We all start to dance, the dream is so happy and mystical...

...Crribit...croaaart..crooaaakk...suddenly the sounds materialise into bellowing croaks, the frogs don't seem so friendly anymore either. Their smiles turn into frowns and I notice as they become less cartoon and more realistic. In fact they're starting to look alot less like frogs and more like giant toads, warts and all. They jump at me and grab me with their hands. Two of them pin me down while the other sits over me like a great demon from hell. I see slimy, saliva begin to bubble and drip from between its' enormously wide lips, its' eyes bulging from its' head look hungry, and I'm guessing I look like food.

"Please! No, please don't eat me!" I cried.

The giant beast of slime, came within inches of my face. I could smell its' breath now, like something from the deepest pits of hell. Suddenly it lets its' tongue slip between parched lips. Thick and black, a huge slug moved towards me. The slime kept its' distance until that moment, now I was staring into an inevitable wash with what I can only describe as yellow, oozing, putrid, puss like saliva. It made contact. The toad made sure to get it all over my face. I could taste it, even through a closed mouth, lets just say think of the worst possible thing you wouldn't want to eat, get a demon to take it to hell and then throw it at your face.

The Slimy saliva was thick and stung my eyes even though they weren't even open. It wasn't until that moment I realised that the putrid mess was like plastic shrink wrap. My arms were being pinned down by the other two evil entities. I struggled to get free, but to no avail. I let out a muffled scream which the slime bubbled around, constricting my call for help like a boa round a deer.

The croaks seem to change as I struggle, they become more and more like raucous breathing. Then I hear my name called in the raucous dual tone, typical demonic nature..."Charlotte"...

I choke...life starts to fade...I die.....

.....I awake in a cold sweat, panicked and begin to cry. What a horrid and twisted little dream I thought. I don't want to wake Mum or Dad, but I look for something to comfort me. Where's Synthia? I wonder. I gaze around the room, but she's nowhere to be seen. I'll have to find her in the morning I conclude. I pull the sheets above my head and unwillingly, force myself back to sleep in the sweat soaked bed.....


That's the end of chapter one, there's going to be 2 more maybe 3. depending on whether this gets good reception, and at least one person is interested to know what happens next. This story Does tie into the [APWC] theme which is why it's under that title, I promise, even if you can't see it yet. Anyway let me know what you think, cheers guys and girls.

The haunted doll thing?
Isn't that a dead horse for writing now?

reply to post by Szarekh


It seems like it. There was going to be a twist. Also the start of a story is always slow, but hey. I suppose I should have just shortened it and stuffed it all into one post. Oh well.

I'm sure I could write you a story that contained the unknown, but you would struggle to comprehend what I write. Hense I'm trying to keep it simple.

Originally posted by Szarekh
The haunted doll thing?
Isn't that a dead horse for writing now?

I'm sorry, but this was just rude. You criticized the OP and left it at that. We as writer's generally appreciate honest opinions and welcome ideas in how to improve what one criticizes. You just swooped in with that and offered no advice on what you think could be done better. Everyone that loves to read, loves to read different things from different folks. Just because you think it has been beaten to death does not mean everyone else does.

Constructive criticism is always a good thing but being rude because you didn't favor the subject of the story doesn't fit into that category IMO.

*************************

To the OP - I would love to hear the rest of your story myself. You have talent there and I liked it. You get a S&F from me.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


Thankyou, you're right, I don't mind constructive criticism or feedback. In fact I appreciate it. That's why I was a bit annoyed when the first poster came along and didn't offer anything. To be honest I'm suprised if he even read it, so thanks for setting him straight.

I'll try to get part two done today or tomorrow.