Interracial Romance...

Originally posted by snarky412
reply to post by ValentineWiggin

 

Just take it a day at a time. See what happens....

My cousin several years ago decided to marry her college sweet heart. No big deal, right??? Wrong.... he happened to be black. It was her father that raised all kinds of hell over it [GA.] . It got so bad that rumor was my Aunt & Uncle almost got a divorce because of it. Needless to say, they never did. My cousin married her man and they now have 3 kids.

My siblings and I only met him one time at my Mom's funeral. We could care less if he was black, white, pink or purple, he was a nice mannerly person. At the dinner table we could tell he was sooooo uncomfortable. Actually, that would have been an understatement. But we did our best to make him part of the conversation and not make it awkward for him. I kinda felt sorry for him because he felt so out of place but he was a trooper. As time went by, he finally loosened up & enjoyed himself. Of course, My Uncle didn't help much but at least he was cordial towards him.

The point is, even though her father was totally against it, in time he finally accepted it. And that's from a hard core Georgia man from the "old school" so to speak.

Good luck with what ever you choose. Play it by ear and go out on a date. It may not work out any way, but at least you made the decision to try & see. Parents love us unconditionally, most of the time. If it just so happens to turn into something serious over time between you two, worry about your parents at that time.

Thank you for sharing as someone who understands how bad this is in the South. My hang up right now is to even go on ONE date or not. Taking it one day at a time sounds perfect, I struggle with lying to my mother or keeping it from her, but like other's have said...I'm a grown woman.

Love,
Val

reply to post by ValentineWiggin

I'm glad my words helped a little. Oh, just by the way, while in another life I might have been a great mother, I can't manage that now unless I become "Mr Mom". Perhaps my avatar confused you; she is there because she means something very special to me, from a time long ago, but Mike is my real name. All the same, mother or father, we are both sides of one coin, really, and so I'm deeply grateful for what you said.

Valentine, I guess all I'd like to add is "Carpe diem".

Actually that brings something to mind. A few days ago I wrote a story and for the central character, that very maxim is really the key point to her being. It seems a sad tale but its real message is of hope and understanding by seeing through the eyes of others. It's called "Lost and Found"; if you'd like to read it when you have a few minutes free, it's in my signature.

Namaste,

Mike

Originally posted by JustMike
reply to post by ValentineWiggin

 

I'm glad my words helped a little.

Oh, just by the way, while in another life I might have been a great mother, I can't manage that now unless I become "Mr Mom".

Perhaps my avatar confused you; she is there because she means something very special to me, from a time long ago, but Mike is my real name. All the same, mother or father, we are both sides of one coin, really, and so I'm deeply grateful for what you said.

Valentine, I guess all I'd like to add is "Carpe diem".

Actually that brings something to mind. A few days ago I wrote a story and for the central character, that very maxim is really the key point to her being. It seems a sad tale but its real message is of hope and understanding by seeing through the eyes of others. It's called "Lost and Found"; if you'd like to read it when you have a few minutes free, it's in my signature.

Namaste,

Mike

Oh geez I'm embarrassed now. I must have missed the mike part, it was certainly your avatar which threw me off. I sincerely apologize I will definitely be reading your story!

reply to post by ValentineWiggin


If you do decide to go on a date, just remember, you're not obligated to keep going out if you see it may not work out. Or if you are extremely uncomfortable because of the way you were brought up, maybe just talk on the phone with him that way, but don't lead him on. And don't scare your self unnecessary about the "future".... one or two dates doesn't mean marriage. LOL. Other wise my older sister would have been "married" off & on about 6 dozen times!!! Just kidding, more like 24 times..... seriously, she's the independent one. Only been married once, lasted about 3 years, but tons of boyfriends. HA!!

Go with your gut feeling..... you'll know if it's right or not.

Good luck with what ever you choose to do~~~~ just have fun & enjoy life. It's too damn short.

Originally posted by snarky412
reply to post by ValentineWiggin

 

If you do decide to go on a date, just remember, you're not obligated to keep going out if you see it may not work out. Or if you are extremely uncomfortable because of the way you were brought up, maybe just talk on the phone with him that way, but don't lead him on. And don't scare your self unnecessary about the "future".... one or two dates doesn't mean marriage. LOL. Other wise my older sister would have been "married" off & on about 6 dozen times!!! Just kidding, more like 24 times..... seriously, she's the independent one. Only been married once, lasted about 3 years, but tons of boyfriends. HA!!

Go with your gut feeling..... you'll know if it's right or not.

Good luck with what ever you choose to do~~~~ just have fun & enjoy life. It's too damn short.

Sound advice! And thanks for the laugh! LOL. It is too damn short.

reply to post by ValentineWiggin

No need to apologize. There've been times when I've done the same thing in respect of avatars. Besides, your mind is dealing with a whole range of things right now. It's all cool.

Mike

Go on that date and be happy. If the relationship starts to grow though, you should be honest and let him know that you are bi-sexual. It is sad that so many people are judged by their color.

I'd just like to add my own point of view here if i may....

There are NO differances in race in so far as humanity is concerned... there are culteral differances...religious differances and differances in levels of melenin in the skin and a few physical things such as the eyes and shape of... bone structures etc possibly due to enviromental factors and breeding of like and like in specific areas of the world...other than that.... we're all human.

Live your life according to your own values, morals and mores and just hope others catch on eventually..

Peace and love...

Weaverre.

Your parents tried to pass their hate down to you, didn't work. Karma said hi to them and blessed you with someone youre into.

Interesting story.

I'm gonna state the obvious by saying that if you want to get with this guy and then find out you really have something solid, you're going to have to move. There's love and then there's dealing with your surroundings. You can be in love with him as deeply as deep can get, but then you're going to have to step outside deal with the locals. AND your family. This is too big of a country and life is too short to have to put up with the types of people that your family represent. Besides which, racial views like yours and then your family's, which you say are polar opposites, are going to cause friction between you whether you're with a black man or not.

My advice, take it slow and take it out of town for the first few dates. Again, I'm going to state the obvious and say that if you grew up in a small town, you know how they work and you know you can't work around it. You can't change them by your actions, they have to do it themselves. After the first few dates, if you two really do have a connection, start getting your resume noticed by out of town restaurants. I'd go with the big cities like Atlanta where their views are a bit more liberal. In the meantime, have fun with it. Make that song "Secret Lovers" by Ashford and Simpson your theme song for a bit. You know what they say "If you can't beat 'em, screw with 'em.

Bottom line, be open and honest with the guy about everything before you take it to another level. You will want to know how he'll deal with this and you will need his maturity level to be top notch. And your parents? You shouldn't need to stoop to their level. they should want to aspire to yours. I understand you have a son? I don't have to tell you what kind of an example you can set for him by doing the right thing here.

You sound like a good woman and I'm sure you'll do the right thing. Good Luck.



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You lost me at "racist South"... way to go perpetuating sterotypes yourself.

I was born and raised in New Orleans Louisiana. Im also first gen off the rez in my family Blackfeet ( Siksika,Piegan). My dad and mother left the rez in Montana and lived in La.. and I was born. Im in a interracial relationship. Never had a problem, and I dont make my own problems. I married a white guy.

Saying that, in college I dated a really good looking guy a few times and then discovered he was hanging out with white nationalist types. I told him what was up with that.. his buddies didnt have a problem with me but hated blacks and hispanics.He said " well, youre different". Nope.. Im not white. Not a drop of white blood. Weird double standards about as much as saying youre culturally and racially open yet condemning all Southerners or THE SOUTH as racist. Watch that wide brush.

Originally posted by Advantage
You lost me at "racist South"... way to go perpetuating sterotypes yourself.

Watch that wide brush.

Then allow me to help you find your way back home.

I'm not speaking for the OP or anything, but I hate to see people butcher the English language.

And I quote: "I was raised in the deep very racist South", and then she went on to recount her own personal experiences in reference to where she was raised, which was, in fact, the very deep racist south. Taken in context, it was figure of speech. taken out of context, which was what you did, it implies ALL of the south. Re-read the OP. That's not what she meant and you know it.

This is her life and her experiences which, judging by the short history lesson you gave us of yourself, doesn't really have a lot in common with yours. Think about it. You're not in the best position to judge. Watch that wide brush.

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