I Miss Believing...

reply to post by OrphenFire


I was agnostic almost to the point of being atheist for 14 years. Lived in an abusive home with a dad who claimed to be a christian (Assembly of God) and his hypocrisy turned me away. About 1.5 years ago i returned, the anger had hate and pain was eating me alive and i could find no peace, i needed to learn to forgive him and move on.

There is no escaping Yeshua, once you give yourself to him, nothing can take you from him, no power or principality, not even yourself. You are in his hands now. It's not fellowshipping with christians you miss, it's fellowshipping with him. I could bear not fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters for a while, but i can't go one day without fellowshipping with my Savior.

reply to post by OrphenFire

By your own Bible, it is impossible, because I have committed the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

Actually, blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is refusing the truth knowingly. Many people state disbelief when they are merely confused of the truth. Blasphemy is knowingly going against the truth because of a hatred against God and not simply disbelief from ignorance.

Matthew 12

31 “Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men. 32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

Translated. Anyone who is not with Christ is against by default. Every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven except one. The one is knowing the truth, but going against it anyway. There is a difference between this and what you describe here. The longing you feel inside is the calling of Jesus voice. His sheep know his voice.

I thank everyone for replying. I read each and every reply and I appreciate it.

Thanks, guys.

I was raised in an Assembly of God Pentecostal church, and after I left that den of fear and hatred for anything and everything not them, I didn't miss it at all, and in fact, rather enjoyed the world of Freedom that followed. Later on in life, seeking a religion I could live with, and one that fit me, I chose Wicca. After 25+ years, I am more happy now than ever before with it.

Originally posted by OrphenFire
why do I miss the bliss of ignorance?

Because it's easy. Being intelligent in this world today is hard work.

Or so I've been told.

reply to post by OrphenFire


Just remember that what you resist, persists..

Originally posted by FailedProphet
Interesting thread, OP. I can relate.

Although I no longer intellectually believe in a supreme being, I still find myself praying constantly, almost involuntarily. Like a reflex action rather than an intellectual process. It just doesn't feel right to me to tuck into a meal unless I've mumbled a few words of thanks, for example. This was engrained in me like a child and is a hard habit to break.

For a long time I fought it, but I eventually gave up an now I just roll with it. Even though I don't believe anyone is hearing my prayers, I think there is a value and a humility that comes with giving thanks for one's food, or for other good things in life. And prayer can really help relieve stress in desperate moments, which is also valuable.

Think about it: every known culture on earth has developed religion since ancient times. Even if it is not literally "true," its universal nature suggests it serves a valuable survival purpose. So I don't mind giving into it even though intellectually I no longer believe. To me, the religious impulse has value as a non-intellectual form of mental activity, in the same way listening to music is a beneficial mental activity although not a matter of logic. Does this make sense?

I can so relate to this. It just doesn't feel right to ignore the reality that if it were not for our circumstances we would not even have a meal. I've kind of adopted the native custom of giving thanks to the animal that died so that I could eat.

Hello.....I miss "believing" too.
I was not raised with religion, but always believed that there was a benevolent higher power. I also believed that the government, doctors, police, etc. were honestly looking out for our well-being.
I believed that most people are good, and that everyone has SOME good within. I believed that things happen for a reason....and that people get what they deserve.
These days, I honestly don't know what to believe.
I look after my mother-in-law, who is 85 with dementia. She lost her first child (when he was 14), and then shortly thereafter lost her husband....leaving her alone to raise 3 young children.
Her faith is what has enabled her to deal with these hardships. She is a devoted Catholic, and the kindest sweetest person I know. She believes that Jesus has a plan for her, and she trusts that all is as it should be....whether she likes it or not.
I envy her strength......which comes from her faith.
It's very hard to live with life's challenges when you don't have faith.
jacygirl

It's because most people have a slave mentality.

They cling to a "leader"...
They cling to a "book"...
They cling to a "God"...
They cling to "knowledge" - facts learned by others through their personal experience

When you remember that you are complete as you are now. That emptiness will disappear and you'll have peace. It is that feeling of "boredom" or something "missing" in your life that makes you "cling" to anything.

When I was younger I grew up in a Lutheran church, which is pretty boring, monotone lectures and exercises (stand up and sitting down constantly). My family and I moved when I was 11 and stopped going to church all together except for Christmas because we moved 2 hours away from my church. It was a huge change in my life from going Wednesday's to chapel and going almost every Sunday and then all the sudden there was nothing. There was a void in my life until I was about 14/15 and I realized that I really didn't believe in God anymore. What I decided was that I found more power and beauty in nature than anything else. I always find myself more calm during a snow fall and feel somewhat powerful. (strange I know) I still pray to someone or something and sometimes they listen. I don't pray to God just to whoever is up there. Perhaps you can find something else to believe in, whether it be a new project, social interaction, your children. Just something to keep your mind going. Hope this helps.

I am an atheist who still attends church to keep the peace at home and I do enjoy the feeling of community also, of course I feel like an outsider and that believers are not on my same level because atheism requires a kind of philosophical bravery on account of Pascal's wager. I also agree with you that once you stop believing in God, for me as well at least, a return to belief is impossible, not because of a lack of humility (I am the humblest person I know lol), or a lack of faith, I would have an unshakable faith except that faith is a belief in something which is unbelievable. I reject faith in things for that which there is no basis in reality on which to base that belief on (ie I have faith that atoms are real even though I have never seen or touched one, but I have faith in the science which underlies atomic theory). Finally not only does the notion of God have no basis in the physical world, I also find the question of evil the most compelling reason for me to not believe in God.

In spite of all of this I would give anything to be able to believe again, a part of me longs for my old beliefs. The fact that I cannot believe God in spite of my deep desire to want to believe actually reinforces my atheism because I do not have cognitive dissonance from choosing to not believe in God like I did when I believed. I recognize that evolution has programmed us with the ability to believe in all sorts of things, I completely understand why people believe in and worship God and I have no desire to interfere with their beliefs.

Originally posted by Theuniverseman
I am an atheist who still attends church to keep the peace at home and I do enjoy the feeling of community also, of course I feel like an outsider and that believers are not on my same level because atheism requires a kind of philosophical bravery on account of Pascal's wager. I also agree with you that once you stop believing in God, for me as well at least, a return to belief is impossible, not because of a lack of humility (I am the humblest person I know lol), or a lack of faith, I would have an unshakable faith except that faith is a belief in something which is unbelievable. I reject faith in things for that which there is no basis in reality on which to base that belief on (ie I have faith that atoms are real even though I have never seen or touched one, but I have faith in the science which underlies atomic theory). Finally not only does the notion of God have no basis in the physical world, I also find the question of evil the most compelling reason for me to not believe in God.

In spite of all of this I would give anything to be able to believe again, a part of me longs for my old beliefs. The fact that I cannot believe God in spite of my deep desire to want to believe actually reinforces my atheism because I do not have cognitive dissonance from choosing to not believe in God like I did when I believed. I recognize that evolution has programmed us with the ability to believe in all sorts of things, I completely understand why people believe in and worship God and I have no desire to interfere with their beliefs.

Excellent first post on the site. It really sums up a lot of what I feel.

Welcome to ATS, and thanks for the input