Vampire Watermelons!

Summer salutations, ATS. You know what I freaking love on a 90+ degree July afternoon? Enough chilled watermelon to eat myself sick on. I'd take a melon straight to the head every day if I could, and plan to do exactly that once they start ripening in my patch.

So imagine my delight when I came across the following Balkan legend regarding vampiric watermelons.

According to tradition, virtually any kind of melon or pumpkin kept more than ten days or after Christmas will become a vampire, rolling around on the ground and growling to pester the living. People have little fear of the vampire melons because of the creatures' lack of teeth. One of the main indications that a melon is about to undergo a vampiric transformation (or has just completed one) is said to be the appearance of a drop of blood on its skin.

www.lesvampires.org...

An associated belief is that any inanimate object left out in the light of the full Moon would be transformed into a vampire version of itself. Leave a hoe out? Vampire hoe. How about a pair of galoshes? Vampire galoshes. And a fork? Vampire... yeah, you get the picture.

The disposal method for a growly nuisance of a watermelon was to plunge the offending fruit into a cauldron of boiling water, followed by a vigorous brooming, and the subsequent torching of the broom. I guess vampirism can be transmitted from one inanimate object to another. Why rid oneself of a bloodsucking melon, only to acquire a toothy broom?

This has to be the absolute stupidest thing i have ever seen posted on here and ive seen some pretty dump stuff

Well, it's in the appropriate forum, and it is a genuine folk legend.

Sadly, your sense of humor appears to have been amputated.

reply to post by Eidolon23


Oh your really creative

I'd take a melon straight to the head every day if I could, ....only if Veronica is involved

......

reply to post by SarnholeOntarable


Sapphic action: it's never off topic.

It turns out that pumpkins are subject to the same transformation, but with a weird twist:

Among the Mosl. Gs. in the village of Pirani (also in Podrima) it is believed that if pumpkins are kept after Christmas they turn into vampires, while the Lešani Gs. think that this phenomenon occurs if a pumpkin used as a syphon, when ripe and dry, stays unopened for three years.

Vampires of ground fruit origin are believed to have the same shape and appearance as the original plant.

en.wikipedia.org...

"Used as a syphon"?! The mind reels.

reply to post by Eidolon23


Maybe we could bash a steak through the lil' green fang-ed monsters !!

Star and flag!! Great post and good catch!!

I love reading about urban myths!!

They probably came up with this to keep food from rotting, and wasting food


Be safe people

I just got to say.

Watch out for the "GREAT Pumkula" This october.

Originally posted by XFatalX
This has to be the absolute stupidest thing i have ever seen posted on here and ive seen some pretty dump stuff

... okay Mr. 5 posts, I have only been here for less then 2 months.. .. S&F op for a good read..

Originally posted by XFatalX
This has to be the absolute stupidest thing i have ever seen posted on here and ive seen some pretty dump stuff

Yeah tell it as it is baby...its supercalifangilisticexpialitrocious !!

Fruitsuckin cheek of it all eh !!

the joke and prank forum was created for such thread
and i though chickens didnt have teeths

reply to post by Ben81


Ah, but good sir, as is pointed out elsewhere on this thread, while it is hilarious, it is also a genuine article folk tale. Not a joke, nor a prank.

Therefore, it belongs right where it is.

However, I confess to giggling myself breathless upon first encountering it, and hope it has a like effect on the reader.

reply to post by Eidolon23

According to tradition, virtually any kind of melon or pumpkin kept more than ten days or after Christmas will become a vampire,

Well, if we take in to account that this applies to any object left out ten days past Christmas, then if we can adopt this tradition here in America, and it sticks, then I imagine we could be hopeful that people will take the pumpkins off their porch and their Christmas lights down by a reasonable date past Christmas.

That would be ok by me. Moldy porch pumpkins are depressing on New Years Day and I don't even want to think about the damage that yards-long strings of vampire Christmas lights could cause.

X.

This actually starts me to thinking of the fun things to leave out to 'vampirize'.

Originally posted by Eidolon23
reply to post by SarnholeOntarable

 

Sapphic action: it's never off topic.

It turns out that pumpkins are subject to the same transformation, but with a weird twist:

Among the Mosl. Gs. in the village of Pirani (also in Podrima) it is believed that if pumpkins are kept after Christmas they turn into vampires, while the Lešani Gs. think that this phenomenon occurs if a pumpkin used as a syphon, when ripe and dry, stays unopened for three years.

Vampires of ground fruit origin are believed to have the same shape and appearance as the original plant.

en.wikipedia.org...

"Used as a syphon"?! The mind reels.

Oooo! U R 0ty!

I'm more afraid of genetically mutated killer tomatoes.

reply to post by Xoanon


Vampire Christmas tree here I come! We normally put out old trees for birds to live in... I wonder if the vampire trees eat the birds? Oh no! D:



Nice light-hearted topic, OP. There need to be more positive topics on ATS. Normally it's shrouded in negativity.

reply to post by Eidolon23


I remember once we left our pumpkins out past Christmas, it was a mess. I'm pretty sure they looked more like zombies than vampires.

Pfft, watermelons are woosies even rubber bands can defeat them.
With explosive results.

Originally posted by Myomistress
reply to post by Xoanon

 

Vampire Christmas tree here I come!

We normally put out old trees for birds to live in... I wonder if the vampire trees eat the birds? Oh no! D:



Nice light-hearted topic, OP.

There need to be more positive topics on ATS. Normally it's shrouded in negativity.

Thank you.

That's why I occasionally like to throw these sorts of threads together: an unrelieved diet of doom leads to worse things than constipation. It's important to be aware of what is going down, but it's just as important to remember how much humor and wonder our world can offer.

reply to post by Qumulys


Yikes!

My first thought: "Hey, the going rate for a watermelon in South Korea is $150 bucks, minimum. Those kids must be loaded!"

Hope they burned the rubber bands.