Shattered Dreams [LEWC]

As long as he could remember, he wanted to be a Marine. He had grown up the son of a Army officer, and wanted nothing more than to follow in his father's footsteps. At an early age he had read countless books on the Marine Corps infantry, and decided that would be the route he would go.

When his dad returned from the first Gulf War he was stationed as an ROTC instructor. His dad took him on many field exercises and although he was only twelve years old, he picked up on the system quickly. He continued to prepare himself all the way through high school for the journey he was about to endure.

On September 11, 2001 he had already signed all the paperwork to enlist, and watching the second plane hit the tower that day, he knew that he had a purpose. The rest of that school year was a blur to him, as he concentrated on preparing for boot.

Shortly after graduation he shipped off to MCRD San Diego. Upon arrival, he realized that it wasn't as mentally challenging as he had expected. The new recruit felt at home, as he had been brought up in a very strict military family.

On training day 27 after a class, three platoons were running from the classroom, and he was pushed into a lightpost. He went flying ass over tea kettle, and was knocked out cold for a couple seconds. Waking up and regaining his composure, he ran to join the rest of his platoon in formation. The pain was intense, but he powered through it, until one of the Drill Instructors started screaming at him. "Why are you bleeding all over my deck recruit?" He did not know and responded "This recruit does not know sir!"

Upon inspection at the sick bay, it was found that he had fractured his leg and elbow. He was told that he would need crutches for twelve weeks. This was devistating news, as he just wanted to get this over with and be a Marine.

After a couple weeks in the medical platoon, the recruit was told to go to the dentist and get his dental work done while he waited to get healed up. The dentist was going to remove his wisdom teeth, but needed to take some x-rays first. Upon returning with the films, the dentist stated that the recruit must go to the Naval Hospital for further tests because of an issue that was seen in the x-rays.

The recruit spent the next several sleepless days wondering what the dentist had seen.

Upon arrival at the Naval Hospital, there were many x-rays and catscans performed on the recruit. The nurse sat him down, and asked him to wait for the doctor. Several minutes later the doctor came in and said "You're going home" and proceded to explain what he had found.

The doctor had found a minor medical issue that really didn't effect the recruit, and that the recruit had told the MEPS doctor about during his physical.

Since this issue had been overlooked by the doctor at MEPS, the Marine Corps offered to pay to fix it before discharge, but he would have to stay on base for twelve to sixteen months. He decided that he wanted to go home since he could no longer achieve his goal, and denied this offer.

Three weeks later, upon arriving home, he felt worthless. He was in shock as to what had transpired and how quickly his dreams had shattered. He spent many months trying to party his thoughts away. Many people told him that it was "God's plan", and he might have died in Iraq or Afghanistan. What they don't realize is that he thinks about whether or not he might have saved a life one day.

10 years later, and MY DREAMS ARE STILL SHATTERED!

This is my first time sharing writing, and my first time sharing this story aside from very close friends and family, so please go easy on me.

reply to post by SUICIDEHK45


There really is no reason to go easy on you. You have contributed a well thought out entry, grammatically pleasing to read, and have a smooth flowing story line. SnF.

If you have more quality like this to share, please do. You can enter as many times as you like, you know. I for one, would like to read more.

reply to post by Druid42


Thank you very much for the compliments. I have started writing a couple different things, and hope to someday share them here when they are finished. I'm still trying to get back in the habit of propper punctuation and grammar so they won't be pretty.

As a Marine I will tell you I am truly sorry. I too know how it feels to want to achieve such a goal. I served almost five years until medical issues put a halt to it. I also served my time in the infantry and served in combat in Iraq. It kills me everyday that I can no longer serve in the suck because some doctor says I can't. There are other ways to serve as well. I volunteer at the VA and am trying to get a job there to serve other veterans like me. I do know how you feel and the only advice I can give is to search for what makes you feel whole. One day you will find it and you will understand why all this has happened. At least that's what I've been told by 'experts'.

Semper Fi.

reply to post by usmc0311


Thank you, that means a lot coming from you. When I first returned home, my dad was under the impression that I gave up and quit. He kicked me out of the house and didn't talk to me for two years. Mostly it was my fault because as soon as he accused me, I decided I wasn't even going to tell him what happened. After I explained the whole thing to him (two years later) and showed him all the paperwork they made me sign saying I wasn't going to hold the Marine Corps liable for my "injury" everything returned to normal and he apologized. He is still in the Army and is going to retire in a year and a half after 30 years of service.

reply to post by SUICIDEHK45


This is really good writing. And, as Druid42 pointed out, grammatically correct (unlike mine!) Its very well written, and in more ways than grammatically too. I would love to read more from you.

I want to say something about your story though. You said one thing; "What they don't realize is that he thinks about whether or not he might have saved a life one day." I just want to say there are plenty of lives you can save right here at home, and in more ways than one. You can contribute so much, and save many people, without ever leaving stateside. Never forget that, if you want your life to be in the service of mankind, there is plenty of work to do.

Good job, very very good story!

reply to post by OpinionatedB


Thank you for the kind words. I absolutely love your story, and it makes me realize how much I miss my grandmother who pretty much raised me until I was five. My grandmother made me who I am, and she is greatly missed. Everything you do will be very appreciated later if it already isn't.

In regards to saving lives, I have done my best to be a very kind and generous person. In the career I am in, I have people's lives in my hands on a daily basis and I do my best to keep them out of harms way.

reply to post by SUICIDEHK45


Very well written, straight to the point and honest. And you've started writing on a very difficult topic, so an extra kudos there for showing the courage to post.

Sometimes it seems you put your dreams on hold and it makes no sense at the time, but it does work out in hindsight.

S&F, well done

reply to post by SUICIDEHK45


I had big dreams in a small town, but it didnt work out for me either. It took me 3 years and going through 2 background guys to get accepted. All I wanted was a decent job in a field that I had an interest in. Go after my old job- US Customs and Border Patrol in Piegan, Montana. They really need some good people up there, and the area is so remote, you will have housing. I think the age limit is 32 or 38 now. I wish you happiness!

Thank you all for reading this. It has been good sharing this story. I decided to keep it short and to the point because I wanted to get my point across quickly. Someday I plan on writing all of the events before, during and after my time at MCRD San Diego. I think it's weird because I used to be really bad at putting what I was thinking onto paper, but recently something has changed and it has become much easier. Maybe it is the fact, that I am happier now than I ever have been, or maybe it's because I have more life experiences now. Either way, I have been enjoying putting some of my ideas on paper, and have started sharing some of them.

reply to post by SUICIDEHK45


Ohh, I forgot to S&F (have no idea how that happened!) but suffice it to say I have now rectified that little oversight and you are now S&F!

reply to post by SUICIDEHK45


You'll keep writing because there are people reading it. There are more members that read this forum, than give SnFs, but you'll find if you keep expressing your thoughts into words, you'll be happier, more balanced, and more empty of negative emotions.

Writing does that for you. Put something into words, and it's out of your soul, and free.

reply to post by SUICIDEHK45

Damn! Man, that must be rough to take. I can only echo what others have said in support of you.

You wanted to serve and that counts big-time. I know you were unable to fulfil that ambition but i still believe that you may one day find yourself saving a life or lives in another way.

My hat's off to you.

Mike

reply to post by JustMike


Thanks, Yeah, I have tried to lead a good life and help people as much as possible. Since 2005 I have been in a position where people's lives do depend on what I do on a daily basis. It's not quite the same as Police/Fireman/Military, but I like to think I help.