One Reason Why I Think Religion Is Crock Of SHT

Every time a news story comes out involving abuse, I am forced to relive the experience I had as a child growing up in East Memphis, in a very close knit community. The Jewish Community of Memphis harbored a severe pedophile. The synagogue I was raised at employed this man. The police department of Memphis employed this man. What chance did I have. He was impeccable. He used his power of authority to take advantage of many children. I was not the only boy he did this to. I would put the estimate over 50 conservatively. That is many lives destroyed by this man. He fled Memphis when the # was going to hit the fan and he knew he had to leave jurisdiction to avoid prosecution. This man has lived in Jacksonville, Fl., Nashville, TN., Chicago, Ill. and has been involved with youth services and police departments in at least Nashville, also. He manages to insert himself into well protected facades for his behavior and has used his charm to win people over. I tried to do something about this many times over the course of the past 2 decades, but I was unable to get past what I think was a BIG BLUE WALL in my case. They didn't seem to want to pursue for some reason. I gave them many names of suspected abused children as well as several confirmed names. The people I know that were abused by this man were unable to confront this because several are in public positions and were not willing to risk the upheaval in their current lives. There are those that have killed themselves or had very hard lives and those that have managed to move forward. Different circumstances surrounding their abilities, made it possible to either ignore and live in denial or succumb to the demons, but it does not change the fact that what this man did to all of us is morally reprehensible. He needs to be punished in this life so that those of us he abused can have some closure. I will never be the 11 year old boy that he took the innocence away from so eagerly and nothing will change the damage done, but it would sure be nice if someone in Memphis had the balls to do something.

reply to post by sp1r1tu4l33


So you're going to take the action of one individual and hold it against the entire faith? I hold with no religion in particular, but I will take a stand against an unfair judgment of a religion.

Instead of putting all the blame on this other guy, try forgiving yourself first. And yes, more often than not, the anger is at yourself. I don't know why you'd be angry at yourself for what happened, maybe you believe something was wrong with you because you were chosen to suffer this, but forgive yourself.

And whatever you do, stop blaming other people for something they didn't do. It was one man, not the entire church!

reply to post by sp1r1tu4l33


So sorry to hear of your horrible experience and ongoing difficulties. I think it's very brave of you to speak out about the abuse you experienced and I know that you will receive more abuse because of doing so. Unfortunately the victim is often punished more than the abuser in close-knit or religious communities, yours being both.

I read recently of the huge peodophilia problem in the orthodox Jewish communities around the world. These problems need to be nipped in the bud rather than brushed under the carpet in a desire to protect the community or religion from scrutiny and likely criticism. Strong communities and belief systems can not only take criticism but also welcome it in a desire to improve.

I wonder what else is hidden within the Jewish community. Given the Jewish religion says the Jews were god's chosen people, there's a highly depended upon source of narcissistic supply at stake. Turn in a fellow Jew and you will slight the whole nation of Israel.

Try to focus on the good that has come out of this.....freedom from religion. That is a great blessing. Good luck to you and keep strong.

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by sp1r1tu4l33

 

So you're going to take the action of one individual and hold it against the entire faith? I hold with no religion in particular, but I will take a stand against an unfair judgment of a religion.

Instead of putting all the blame on this other guy, try forgiving yourself first. And yes, more often than not, the anger is at yourself. I don't know why you'd be angry at yourself for what happened, maybe you believe something was wrong with you because you were chosen to suffer this, but forgive yourself.

And whatever you do, stop blaming other people for something they didn't do. It was one man, not the entire church!

Talk about twisting the situation around to the point of blaming the victim! How disgusting. 'Try forgiving yourself'...what's he got to feel guilty over? He didn't sexually mollest himself! 'Instead of putting the blame on this other guy'.....where else could the blame possibly lie other than this other guy (the mollester) and all the self serving cowardly losers who helped shelter him from punishment?

One thing that is hard to understand is people who put so much energy into telling us all what they do not believe in. What is the point? Do you have no job? No life? Why is it that you dwell on something that you say is a crock? Seems a bit pathological.

So you do not believe in something. Woohoo. Congrats on that. Get a life.

reply to post by TheFogHorn


What do rape victims have to feel guilty for? What do survivors have to feel guilty for?

The question they often ask is: "Why me?" and since there is no good answer, they decide something was wrong with them. They begin to blame themselves.

Originally posted by Numbers33four
One thing that is hard to understand is people who put so much energy into telling us all what they do not believe in. What is the point? Do you have no job? No life? Why is it that you dwell on something that you say is a crock? Seems a bit pathological.

So you do not believe in something. Woohoo. Congrats on that. Get a life.

Reading the OP and not just the title would save you from making further insensitive comments.

i blame my community for turning a blind eye to obvious infractions, not just by him, but others. religious people. therefore, I have no respect for any religion that looks the other way and allows children to be abused repeatedly. They stuck their heads in the collective sand rather than take necessary actions. what this man did to me he did to others before me, therefore they allowed him to do this to me and others after me. also, he was a cop. and there were cops who saw me with this man driving his car at 2:00 am and di nothing to question why or how?

i will never get over it and people that say to get over it don't have a clue or they condone these actions, which makes them just as sick and twisted as him.

Originally posted by sp1r1tu4l33
Every time a news story comes out involving abuse, I am forced to relive the experience I had as a child growing up in East Memphis, in a very close knit community. The Jewish Community of Memphis harbored a severe pedophile. The synagogue I was raised at employed this man. The police department of Memphis employed this man. What chance did I have. He was impeccable. He used his power of authority to take advantage of many children. I was not the only boy he did this to. I would put the estimate over 50 conservatively. That is many lives destroyed by this man. He fled Memphis when the # was going to hit the fan and he knew he had to leave jurisdiction to avoid prosecution. This man has lived in Jacksonville, Fl., Nashville, TN., Chicago, Ill. and has been involved with youth services and police departments in at least Nashville, also. He manages to insert himself into well protected facades for his behavior and has used his charm to win people over. I tried to do something about this many times over the course of the past 2 decades, but I was unable to get past what I think was a BIG BLUE WALL in my case. They didn't seem to want to pursue for some reason. I gave them many names of suspected abused children as well as several confirmed names. The people I know that were abused by this man were unable to confront this because several are in public positions and were not willing to risk the upheaval in their current lives. There are those that have killed themselves or had very hard lives and those that have managed to move forward. Different circumstances surrounding their abilities, made it possible to either ignore and live in denial or succumb to the demons, but it does not change the fact that what this man did to all of us is morally reprehensible. He needs to be punished in this life so that those of us he abused can have some closure. I will never be the 11 year old boy that he took the innocence away from so eagerly and nothing will change the damage done, but it would sure be nice if someone in Memphis had the balls to do something.

I'm terribly sorry to hear what happened to you and that man ought to be brought to justice, but I fail to see precisely what this has to do with religion or religious beliefs or practices... ?

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by TheFogHorn

 

What do rape victims have to feel guilty for? What do survivors have to feel guilty for?

The question they often ask is: "Why me?" and since there is no good answer, they decide something was wrong with them. They begin to blame themselves.

Takes the focus off the abuser though doesn't it, which begs the question.....why are you focusing on that?

I think the OP is about the lack of focus on the abuser. I think most sympathetic people would be able to sense the painful frustration of the victim in his inability to get more focus on his abuser. I believe telling him to focus on himself and telling him he needs to forgive himself shows a complete lack of empathy and will not be at all helpful.

reply to post by sp1r1tu4l33


My question here is why you're telling us this. Are you getting it off of your chest, or are you hoping someone here is from Memphis? Maybe you could try the news channel, get a lawyer, find a family friend who works with prosecution and try to build a case.

reply to post by TheFogHorn


That's where the twisted psychology of trauma victims comes into play. After becoming convinced that you did something wrong, and blaming yourself for the "incident", you begin to become angry. And in your anger at yourself, you lash out at others because you don't know how to help yourself. You don't know how to make yourself feel better, how to heal that wound. And that's why we have this guy attacking a religion and snapping at us...he's mad at himself, but he takes it out on us. Kind of like a dog with a maimed leg.

To all the Bible thumpers out there , please explain how your all loving god can let these things happen to innocent children ? Perhaps that's what the OP was referring to by " the bible is a crock " and I definitely agree with him !!

reply to post by AfterInfinity
[mo

Gee. Why don't you read the post again.

Originally posted by sp1r1tu4l33
i will never get over it and people that say to get over it don't have a clue or they condone these actions, which makes them just as sick and twisted as him.

You will never get over it and it is totally insensitive for someone to tell you to. However, what you can do is use your experience and your anger in a productive for the benefit of future potential victims within the Jewish community. I am also a victim of sexual abuse, albeit just chronic harassment, and I decided I wanted to do what I could to alert people to the dangers of muslim immigration and muslim ghettos.

My thought was....if not me then who? Likewise, if not you then who is going to make a stand? You and I both know what you are talking about. You don't need any approval or encouragement from people who have not experienced it. They will never understand enough.

reply to post by TheFogHorn


I hope your experiences didn't lead you to have an irrational hatred for everyone of the Muslim faith?

reply to post by sp1r1tu4l33


I'd rather not. It was painful enough the first time. I can't afford to lose any more brain cells, I'm at my intellectual high point this week.